"I'm home"

Hwajae said as she stepped into their apartment and take off of her shoes. She knew that she wouldn't be getting any reply but her own echo, but she still said those words as she stepped in.

The place was so quiet and dark like an abandoned place for her when it was actually crowded and bright outside. The road lamps were shimmering and you could see it clearly from the window. The hectic-ness of Seoul could be seen every morning as they woke up. But her heart was still empty. It was hollow. She missed him. 

She sighed and placed her purse down. Her feet were killing her and she was super tired from her last photo shoot. She throw herself to the couch lifelessly as she stared at the ceiling. The atmosphere was really quiet and empty and it was surely killing her slowly. She missed how he used to wait for her when she got home late, or the other way around. She missed to cuddle with him and see that sweet smile everytime she wakes up. She really missed those moment that she's willing to do anything, including to let go of her career if they could get back like before. 

But things had been changed and the life had made it's turn, making things to go on the other way of what she expected. Sure, they never said that one word that could make their unbreakable vow actually breaks, but the fact that they're acting in this way was slightly showing it. Showing that they need to split up. 

When he purposes her, she felt like she was the luckiest person alive and when she was dressed in that beautiful white dress, she knew that her life would never be the same anymore. True that it changed, but the changing was far away from what she expected. Her cute fantasy only lasted for about 3 months of their marriage and after that, the worst things happened. 

A tear escaped her eyes as she stare at their wedding photo that had always been hanged on the living room's wall. They looked really happy and they knew they were. But the question is, where did that happiness go and what happened to them?

Hwajae take out her phone and tried to call him, only to be rejected by him. She was tired, both mentally and physically. She just didn't know what went wrong and it surely kills her slowly. She stared at her phone wallpaper and smiled at how happy she looked on the photo with him as he kissed her cheek. She placed the phone to her chest, hoping it would calm her down and quietly mumbled, "I missed you, Junghan oppa"

***

Hwajae had taken a shower but she didn't go straight to bed. Instead, she wrapped herself with a blanket and sit on the couch. Her eyelids were getting heavier by the time and her body was yelling for rest but she knew, that if she fell asleep now, she wouldn't be able to talk her feelings out to him since he would be gone before she even wakes up. So she tried hard to open those eyes and patiently wait for him who was busy with God knows what at his 'office'

The sound of tickling from the clock was the only thing that could be heard. The hectic sound of cars outside was already down since it was late already. The lamps of stores were off too and left only road lights to lead the way. But even the time was late like this, Junghan still hasn't showed up.

Hwajae found herself driven away in sleepiness as her eyelids fall and her head moved to the side, but she quickly jerked up as she heard some noises from the door. She stood up and stare at the door with anticipation as someone finally stepped in. She greeted, "Good evening. Well, mornight, I think" 

"What, is that suppose to be a sarcasm?" he asked as stumbled upon the living room carpet. His hair was really messed up and his shirt wasn't tucked neatly. in fact, it wasn't tucked at all. 

Hwajae quickly realized what happened to her husband and run to him, giving him some support before he actually fell down, "What happened to you? How many glass did you drink?"

"Don't touch me. I'm fine" he said as he pushed her away "And besides, I had bottles, not glasses"

"Bottles?! Why would you drink-.."

"Argh, Hwajae-ah, quiet down! You're giving me more headache" he said as he opened his tie. He walked pass her to their room and changed his clothes.

Hwajae could only stare at her husband and tried to ignore how hurting her heart was. His action had never been so cold and harsh like this. He was never a man to treat a girl in other way but gentle, but what he just showed her was far beyond his usual basis and it really stung her heart. 

"Who is she?"

Junghan take off his shirt and take a simple tee to change into. He raised an eyebrow and asked back, "Which she?"

"That she who had always had her glitter and perfume all over you" she said with a shaky tone "Or were there more than one she, yeobo?"

"What are you talking about. I don't understand" he said as he poked his head out from the tee. He was still struggling with the tee that he didn't realized how braking down Hwajae was. Her eyes were teary and she was literally shaking. What has gotten into him? 

"What did I do wrong, oppa?" she asked as a tear escaped her eyes "Was I not good enough for you? Did I not meet your expectation?"

Junghan who was combing his hair then stopped. He sighed and turn around to see her and to his shock, he just realized how messed up she is right now. "Hwajae-ah, it's not that you didn't meet my expectation. There's no girl or girls that you were talking about. You're just imagining things. You don't know what you're talking about. You're drunk"

"Have you seen yourself?! You're the one who smelled like a drum of spoiled whiskey and you're the one who stumbled around as you walk! You're the drunk person here, not me! And I don't imagine things. I know what I'm talking about. I've smelled girls perfume and saw some lipstick stain on your clothes, oppa. It wasn't just once or twice, it was damn often and you're saying that I'm imaginating things, right now?!" 

"Urgh, don't yell, Hwajae! Your voice is giving me headache!" he yelled as he walk away from her "You know that I'm a fine drinker so no matter how much vodka I drank, I would still have my senses working! And besides, I don't know which girl you're talking about, I swear! And if you found those kind of evidences on my shirt, then it was just a repeated accident! No need to brag about it!" 

Hwajae was really shocked and taken aback at how harsh Junghan words were. Out of all those people she'd known, she never expected Junghan to shouted at her like that. Heck, she never expected to have any argument with the man she is madly in love with. Or maybe, was.

She was frozen on her spot and the only thing moving from her was her tears. Her diamond tears ran down to her cheeks unstoppably and she was beginning to sobs. Her breathing was getting hard as more tears coming out and she hated the fact that Junghan does nothing to stop it when he knows that he's the reason why and he was freakingly on the same room with her.

She was really drowned in her sadness until a question ran to her mind, "Do you want to divorce?" 

Junghan who was taking his dirty shirt then stopped on his pace. He was shocked at her sudden question and he just realized that he had hurt her too much at that point. He turned his body to face her and there comes the real Junghan, the gentle one. His heart was aching as he saw how tormented Hwajae was by his words and he wanted to run there and embrace her to his arms. her hair and apologized everything he just said, but the only word coming out was, "What?" 

"I said, do you want to divorce? With me?" she asked as she gathered up all of her courage that had been scattered apart by his harsh words. She look at him with determined and stern look as she said, "I think it's better for us to just make it official, a divorce, than to live our life like this. I can't take it anymore. If you're uncomfortable with me, then maybe we should just split and live our own life separately" 

Junghan was frozen, this time. He had never expected her to say that one word that he never wanted to hear, but she just did. He was really disappointed at how she think that he was uncomfortable with her. He thought that she knew him better than that. And to think that they would split up and live their own lived were the lost hurtful words of all. 

Hwajae takes a deep breath and said the most hurtful words that she was hurting herself by it, "Maybe our marriage was a mistake after all"

"NO! You did not just say that our marriage was a mistake! Don't you dare say that kind of word, Hwajae!"

"Then what would you call our marriage now, Junghan?! Have you seen how messed up our live had been?! I don't know if it's hurting you or not, but it surely hurt me to live our marriage like this. And.. I can't take it anymore. I just can't" she said with a loud sobs in between. Tears were streaming down again and making her cheeks wet with it. She was never a cry baby, no. But this problem was just too much that she was on the edge of falling down, right now.

Junghan was quiet and his aching heart was wincing in more pain as she called him by his name, not 'yeobo' or 'oppa' anymore. What has he done to make her do and say all of these things? Doesn't she know that he was hurting, too?

The two of them were speechless and the only sound that could be heard on the room now was her loud sobs. He wanted to cry too, but he wouldn't want to show her how weak he had become these passed days. He wouldn't want her to see how much of a weak man he is. Especially after she said that their marriage was a mistake. He wouldn't want to make it seems like it is a mistake to marry him by showing how much of a coward he is. 

After a long silence, Hwajae then regained her courage and conciousness that she knew that Junghan wouldn't say another word for the rest of the night, so she nodded to herself and walk to the drawer. Bumping Junghan on the way as she does so.

"What are you doing?" Junghan asked weakly as he watched her taking out her luggage back and begin to put her clothes in it. She didn't reply and continued stuffing her bag, which drives Junghan mad and harshly spun her to meet eyes with him and gripped her shoulders, "Where are you going?!"

"Let go of me, Junghan! You're hurting me!"

"No. I won't let go of you, even when you're hurting by it. You're not going anywhere" he said as he hugged her tight now. He didn't care how hard her punches to his chest was because all he cared about now is for her to stay with him.

"L-Let go of me! I want to go out from here until our divorce is official! Get off me, Junghan!" 

"No! There would be no divorce and you're not going anywhere! You're staying here. You would never leave me. You won't" he said as he tightened his embrace, not caring that her small figure was crushing underneath it as she begin to cough, feeling harder for her to breath as his chest harshly crushed into hers. "Don't leave me, please.. Don't do this. This is just a simple misunderstanding, I swear. Please, let's just talk about it, okay? No need to say that damn word, now" 

Hwajae's struggle stopped as she begin to hear his sobs and feel her shoulder wet because of it. He knew that he had sworn to never cry in front of her and he tried not to, believe me. But he was really desperate and hopeless to keep her that he cared nothing else but to keep her on his arms. Even when it includes him to swallow his own pride.

"Don't leave me.. Please, I'm begging you.. Please.." he sobs as he loosened his embrace. He was lost and scared at that moment and he hated the fact that she needed to see how weak he is at this point. 

Hwajae on the other hand was really confused on what to do. One moment she was so broken hearted, then she felt all bold to make her own decision, and on the next second, she was speechless as Junghan begged for her to stay with tears streaming down his cheek. She was lost and so does Junghan, only that they were lost in a different way. Same, yet far different at the same time.

Slowly releasing his embrace, Junghan finally realized that he has no more power to held her in if she was deeply hurting by him. He tried to control his breathing and stop sobbing but it suddenly become the hardest thing to do. He was never a sensitive hearted man to cry his heart out like this, but knowing that the only person he cherish and love was about to leave him, he couldn't helped but to begged with all his strength for her to stay. Even when he stopped doing so in the end.

Taking a step back as Junghan completely removed his hands around her body, Hwajae stared at Junghan's eyes which were really red and puffy from the cry. His eyes were glued to the floor and he keeps on rubbing his eyes to stop tears falling even more. She suddenly had the urged to touch his cheeks and erased his tears away. Making Junghan to finally stared back at her and the two of them were speechless as they both stare at each others eyes which were showing desperateness, hurt, and sadness at the same time. 

"Don't leave me, please.."

"I won't" she said. Junghan's eyes turning twinkling as she said so, but his eye smile suddenly fell as she continues her words, "But you must tell me who she is"

"I told you, there's no she! She might be one of those girls who always flirt at me when I go to the club! I swear there's no other girl than you, ever" 

She sighed. She believed his words, for sure, but she wouldn't let go of the facts she had gathered from these past weeks. The perfume, lipstick stain, and his habit to get home late was really something to be suspicious at, "Then tell me why do you get home late nowadays. Why don't you stay home early and wait for me as you used to be?"

"Because I was replaced by your work!" 

"Huh?"

Junghan sighed when he saw her shocked expression as he tried to say his reason, "I was jealous about your work, okay? You got too busy with it that we have no more time to spend with and.. I feel replaced. It's not like I don't like to see you have a better career, no. I'd love to see you have a brighter career. Even brighter than mine if possible. But what I'm asking for is just a spare time of yours to spend with me. To cuddle up. To simply talk about each other's day. We don't even text each other anymore. And.. We're married, Hwajae! We're married, for God's sake!"

Hwajae was speechless. She didn't expect to hear his reason which indirectly saying that she's in blame. She defended herself, "That still doesn't explain how you got glitters on your shirt and how you get home late, oppa"

"Well don't you see?! I got home late so I can distract my mind from you! I do late night works so I could forget about you for a moment!" he said in frustration as he messed his hair "I ask more jobs to do but it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to keep me stayed in the office. I always hoped to see you when I got home, that's why I always tried to get home late. I tried to be the last one to get home so I could see you sleeping soundfully on our bed, but your works were getting more and more late that I was running out of works to keep me late, so I begin to go to this club Seungcheol showed me about"

She was still quiet as she tried to understand his words. He was yelling at her, she knows that. She would never tolerate him to raise his voice to her, but what matters now is his explanations. What's he talking about?

"I get to the clubs to relax a little, but what I got was an ever worse nightmares as your smile would always run across my mind. I missed how we used to be. I missed how we would spend our time together, even when it's only walking around the park in Weekends"

"Oppa, I-.."

"And do you want to know the reason I always get up early?" he asked. He didn't expect her to answer because he knew that his words were too much for her, but he needs to continue, "So I wouldn't have to see you leaving for work. So I wouldn't have to see you doing your works for God knows how long. Sometimes I even think.. Did I not make you happy enough that you have to work this hard?"

"Junghan oppa, I-.."

"No, please. Answer me. Did I not make you happy, Hwajae-ah?"

Hwajae stood there speechless as she stare at her husband who was desperate for an answer. Her eyes were blank, so does her expression. She was confused. Both on what to say and what to process. This is too much for a night. This is not what she asked for on the beginning of the night. This is too much explanations and secrets at the same time.

Junghan on the other hand, was staring at her patiently as he waits for her answer. He was tired, a lot more tired than what she could ever think, but he needs to stand just a little bit more to hear the answer of his life. Has he been a good husband for her?

Knowing that she has no words to explain her feelings, Hwajae take a step closer and planted a gentle kiss on Junghan's lips. On daily basis, Junghan would gladly answer to the kiss, but he needs his answer now. He pushed her gently and hold her shoulders, "Answer me, Hwajae"

"I-I.." she tried to find a word, but it was too hard. Her mind was running wild with words that Junghan just spilled. She was mad of herself for hurting Junghan this much, but she can't ignore the fact that Junghan had been hurting her too. She was lost. Her legs were jelly. It was hard for her to think straight. "I don't.. I don't know how our relationship could turn this messed up.."

Junghan sighed, "Me neither, but it did, and I need your answer to correct myself up. Even if we have to separate ways after this, I still need your answer"

"No! I don't want to split up" she said as she hugged him tight "I just.. I didn't know that I've stepped too far that it hurt you this much. I didn't know that I've tortured you this much. I thought I was the only one hurting here, so I just.. I'm sorry"

"No, I'm sorry. I should've spilled everything from the beginning so all of these wouldn't happen"

"I'm sorry.."

***

The morning comes and the bright shine of the mighty sun was peeking inside of their room. The time was ticking, showing that it was late noon already, but both of them didn't move an inch from the bed. Instead, they cuddle even closer.

After the last night's fight, the two of them promised to fix themselves up and tried to continue their marriage life with a new chapter. Leaving all of the bad memories, tears, and blames. Replacing them with new love life they promised to build in the future.

Junghan was the first to wake up, but he didn't leave the bed. He scoot closer to Hwajae's sleeping figure and hug it closer. It had been quite a long time that the two of them shared a real nice sleep, cuddling to each other and simply enjoy each other's company, even when one of them were asleep.

Junghan kissed her shoulder gently. Her small petite figure feels to match his strong muscular arms, perfectly, like they're really made for two. They do believe that they are destined to be together, especially after the fight last night. But Junghan couldn't help but to smile as he think on how happy he is right now to have her on the same bed with him without having to think that she would leave him like the other days before. From now on, he could sleep in peace with Hwajae on his arms.

 He gently caressed the back of her hand with his thumb and mumbled, "If I ever be reborned, I wouldn't ask to be any other man because I was blessed with the best angel God could ever sent me with. I was and still am the luckiest man to marry you. You only. And if there would be any other girl I would love in the future, it would be our daughter. No matter how strong the wind blows later, I promise you that I'll be there to embrace you safely. I would be the one you could lean on. Because no matter how hard it'll be, I would always love to make new sweet chapter of Our Marriage"