Is it true that you fall in love with your best friend ? That time when I  realized that you’re more than a friend in my eyes . I’m not sure about you but I’m stuck in this so called more than a friends mode . Ever since I noticed that I’m in love with you my greed kept growing .

I want you only for myself ! If I could hold you once . If you could love me like I do just for a moment . Every day I keep praying we can be together . For all these years I kept loving you, all I could do is to call your name  . You’re so sweet smiling at me but I can’t stand it anymore . I go crazy  no I go crazier the more we meet . Why do we have to be only friend ? Why can’t you love me like I do ? Am I not that good for you ? Please yeobo …tell me ! My heart is confused and I don’t know what to do . I can’t stand seeing you with other guys ! From inside I’m burning like crazy , please yeobo  be only mine ! To look only at me and smiling like you never smiled at anyone like this , to call me “ yeobo “ ! Is it too much the things that  I want ? I just want you, I yearn only for your love .

“ Ji Yong “ every time you call my name everything in me turns upside down . It became my obsession to be always around you . To want only you . Why you have to be so kind to me ? That makes the things more hard for me, I’m falling even more for you ! To the rate that I’m obsessed with you .

But now that you’re gone , away from me ! My chest hurts , I’m not the same as before . You know what yeobo ? I hate myself  for what I had done to you ! I was stupid thinking only for my happiness .  Not realizing the most important thing in my life … your own happiness !  I still remember how you looked that night !  It was the same as now, the stars were shining like tonight can you see them ? So beautiful but not as beautiful as you !  We were walking the same street that I’m walking now ! I finally had the courage to tell you about my feelings toward you . “ I love you “ I managed to say . Finally after many years , but then I wish I had never said that ! If only I could erase every word that you said ! The words that kept repeating in my mind “ I’m sorry Ji Yong, I just like you as a friend ! “ and then you left me behind . Do you know how I felt that time ? Like my heart was broken into peaces . You just left me alone to pick them up ! But it doesn’t matter yeobo,I still love you . I’ll never give up on you , I’ll do everything just to be with you , I’ll make you love me even if I have to live like a sinner .

But then I was completely blind about everything , I really hate myself  I know you won’t forgive me ! I can’t forgive myself as well . I wish I hadn’t called you that night … to lie that I have a problem and to beg you to come . Why you have to be so kind , you just said that you don’t love me like I do so why did you came yeobo , why ? I prepared everything for that night even if it’s the last time I see you I just want you to be mine only for a night ! I had prepared a dinner just for the two of us . I promised to myself that I’ll never leave you I’ll fight for your love . But why you agreed to come in ? I’m confused , but that’s what I like in you I have no idea what you’re thinking . You know what yeobo ?  It’s really painful when I remember that night !

“ Ji Yong , why I’m tied up , what are you doing untie me immediately “ I’m so sorry I should hve never put sleeping pills in your food . But my greed kept growing I wanted to touch you . I wanted you to be mine just for a night ! I was stupid , out of my mind  letting my lust to take control of me . “ Don’t be afraid yeobo ! “ are the words I wish I never said . When I close my eyes I still can see your shivering figure . Begging me to stop . I tried yeobo  I swear I tried but my desire kept growing . As I got closer to you I felt my heart beating really fast . You wonder why yeobo ? It’s because I want you more that anything and finally we can be together . “ Please don’t ! I beg you ! “  your  lips moved but no voice came out . You were too weak from all the cry . That time I was happy just because we were together  “ Don’t worry yeobo I’ll stay by your side and protect you forever “ I whisper  gently in your ear taking your scent , the sweet scent of  yours . But why yeobo why you’re afraid of me ? Every time I touched you , your body was shivering . “ You can take my body , but I’ll never love you ! “ were the words that I’ll never forget . The words that woke me up ! What have I done to you ? Your face was pale and expressionless . I miss your smile yeobo  ! Your special smile just for me . Please smile again ! I fell on my knees as tears started to flow down my face “ What I did wrong ? Why can’t you love me ? “ I asked you but you stayed silent . Pease I want to hear your voice again . Forgive me yeobo ! As I watched your figure going further and further  away from my sight the tears kept falling from my eyes . That night I realize how painful was for you ! I have no right to ask for your forgiveness . The only thing I want is you to be happy once again to smile ones again . I wish this was all a joke a nightmare , but that’s reality I was the worst of all . It’s been years since that nigh when I saw you for the last time . I hope you’re happy where you are now ! Because I’ll live with  my obsession  for the rest of my life . To pray that you’ll forgive me one day . Say yeobo , did you ever loved me more that a friend ? I’ll keep asking that question every day . Tell me what to do I still love you ! I want you closer to me ! I want to see you just for  a moment but I can’t, I’m afraid ! So I’ll live whit that never ending love of mine . I  just want you to know that I still love you like the first time . I’ll love you until the end of time ! So I’ll wait for you yeobo  I’ll wait for you because you’re everything for me and this time I’ll make you happy I promise .

~ Love you !!! ~

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so here it is
do you like it ?
if you want me to make a fanfic to another song of Big Bang or another group  just tell me hehe ^^
Bye-yeom ^^
~ and remember to comment XP ~