No one could see.

No one could understand.

No one realized that behind the wide smiles and hearty laughs was a human, a human capable of other emotions, too.

He wasn’t just a smiling machine. Despite looking like it, not everything was bright lights and sunshine and rainbows and puppies in his life.

It was far from that.

No one could see beyond the façade.

No one except for him.

When everyone else was satisfied with his “I’m alright”, thinking that they’d done their part and realized there was really nothing wrong because he said so, he could see. He could see that, no, it wasn’t all right at all. He could see even through the thick walls he had put up. Sometimes, it scared Dongwan that Minwoo was able to read him so well, as if he could look into his very soul and read his very being. Sometimes, he thought that Minwoo might know even more about him than he did about himself.

He hated that. He hated that Minwoo knew him far better than anyone does. Because he knows that he couldn’t, wouldn’t be able to keep his secret any longer. One more push, and he knew he was bound to crack. He had always known that he wouldn’t be able to keep it secret for long anyway; Minwoo was bound to wrestle it out of him one way or another. He had that kind of power over him. And he hated it. He hated how the one man who could control him if he wanted to, was the same man he could not afford to let the secret get out to.

“Dongwan-ah.” Minwoo started seriously, sitting beside the other as he put a hand on his shoulder, intending to look straight into his eyes and search through his soul. Dongwan wasn’t about to give him that satisfaction. He smiled at him though he avoided his gaze, no matter how hard the other tried to catch his eyes. He hated how he knew him so well. He hated how he could read him like an open book, when no one else could.

Minwoo sighed as he gave up. “Look. Can you please just be honest to yourself, to me, every once in a while? I won’t ask for you to tell me your problems unless you want to. I don’t want to pry and meddle in your life unless I have to. But,” With this, Minwoo put both of his hands gently on Dongwan’s cheeks, guiding his head to turn towards him so he could get a good look at his face. “Can you please stop smiling if you don’t mean it? You can fool the others, but you can’t fool me.”

The smile slowly dropped from Dongwan’s face, his lips pursing into a tight frown before he allowed himself to look straight at Minwoo. Minwoo couldn’t help but smile at the other’s uncanny obedience, as he leaned forward and linked their foreheads, his gaze still boring into the other’s, their faces a mere inches apart.

Dongwan’s breath hitched in his throat as he could feel the other’s hot breath on his lips. He closed his eyes, as he could not bear to stare at him any longer. He had to keep telling himself that this was normal, this was their Minwoo; he did this kind of contact with everyone else. Hell, everyone else in the group did this kind of contact with each other. It was just a normal skinship thing. It means nothing.

It means nothing.

As those words dawned on him, his eyes shot open as he pushed Minwoo back and pulled away from him, willing to get as far away as possible as he turned away and started to walk briskly to the door, intending to walk out. Minwoo recovered quickly and snatched Dongwan’s wrist before he could get away.

“What the hell, Dongwan?” Minwoo demanded, his grip on Dongwan’s wrist tightening as he started to struggle out of his grasp. He forced Dongwan to look back at him, but the other stubbornly refused to as he tried his best to hide his face from his view, still keeping silent. Minwoo grunted, annoyed. “I said, what the hell, Dongwan.”

“It’s none of your business.” Dongwan answered in as cold of a voice he could muster, trying to claim his wrist back so he could go but no such luck. Minwoo could be strong if he wanted to. Dongwan realized that he had just dug his grave, a very deep grave; it would take all of his wits to get out of this situation without telling him the truth. But knowing Minwoo, he was bound to get it out of him anyway, one way or another. And that was what he was most afraid of.

“It is my business. You just blew me off for no in’ reason.” Minwoo sounded reasonably pissed, but he took a breath and calmed himself down. “Talk to me, Dongwan. Did I do something to you without my knowledge? You wouldn’t be like this if I didn’t.”

“It’s… it’s not you.” Dongwan managed to croak out. “Look, can you just leave me alone? You’re the last person I need reprimanding me right now.”

“No, I won’t leave you alone. Do I need to remind you what we all agreed upon when we all first got together as a group? We resolve all conflicts with each other and not let it affect the team dynamics. We’re at practice right now. This is going to affect the others if we have a problem with each other… or in your case, a problem with me, apparently.”

“I don’t have a problem with you.” Dongwan declared in a small voice, though honestly. Well, somewhat honestly; he really didn’t have any problems with Minwoo. The problem lied within himself. He looked back at Minwoo, and said it again with more conviction. “I don’t have a problem with you, Minwoo.”

Minwoo’s eyes traveled over his features as if attempting to get something more out of him, but he merely sighed and slowly let Dongwan go. “Fine, whatever you say, then.”

“…Thank you.” Dongwan didn’t think it would be that easy to get away from Minwoo, but he really didn’t dare pursue the matter further lest the situation gets out of hand again.

Practice was uneventful; Minwoo was amazing as usual, while he was comical and kept getting the steps wrong… as usual. Although all in all everyone was in a good mood that night after they were done, so they all decided to get some drinks at the local restaurant they frequent.

The others didn’t, but Minwoo noticed. He had been keeping a close eye on Dongwan ever since their encounter that morning, and observed that he was drinking way more than he would usually. He was down to his sixth bottle of Soju and was borderline drunk; all of the members knew this by the way he was sprawling himself all over their poor maknae, the forever target of all skinship, willing or unwilling.

The amount of skinship was excessive, even for Minwoo’s standards. He had been holding himself back, but he decided that enough was enough when Dongwan suddenly started to try and kiss Andy on the lips, something he wouldn’t ever initiate. Granted, Dongwan doesn’t mind getting kissed on the lips; but he would never go up to any one of them and just do it. And being drunk wasn’t really an excuse, either.

Standing up from his seat, Minwoo opted to free Andy from his misery, as he grabbed Dongwan’s arm and hauled him up. Saying goodbye to the others, he half-dragged him to the taxi stop, before unceremoniously throwing him into the back seat and then climbing in after him. Minwoo apologized to the driver as they both probably reeked of alcohol, the other more so than he is.

Minwoo silently prayed that Dongwan wouldn’t wake up and hurl, and thankfully, he didn’t. When they got to his house, Minwoo opted to carry him on his back as he traversed the familiar steps up to his unit, then half threw the barely conscious man on the bed as he let out a huge breath.

He stared down at the other, contemplating on what to do with him as his eyes explored every inch of his body. He didn’t really know why he suddenly felt nervous being alone with him in a room in this kind of situation; surely he had done this for his other members, and it never involved his heart going ballistic as it threatened to tear out of his chest. Taking a deep breath, he reached down and started to Dongwan’s shirt, thinking that he should get him into night clothes at least, when the other suddenly grabbed his wrist and held it, his eyes trying to focus on Minwoo’s face.

“Let’s get you into night clothes, Dongwan-ah. You can’t sleep like this.” Minwoo commanded in as nonchalant of a voice as he could muster. Dongwan obediently sat up, but he didn’t let go of Minwoo.

“Minwoo-ya.” He slurred, a little bit unbalanced because of the effects of alcohol.

“What?”

“Minwoo-yaaa.”

“What?”

“Minwoo-yaaaa.” More insistent this time.

“What?!” Minwoo repeated, somewhat annoyed already.

“Sleep with me tonight, hmm? I don’t wanna be alone.”

“What the hell are you--” Minwoo was about to protest, but it suddenly dawned on him that that sentence could be taken many ways, yet his mind processed the most erted way. Right. No. There was no way Dongwan meant it in that way. Why would he even think that? “Fine, but change your clothes first. You reek.”

Dongwan complied, but not in the way Minwoo wanted him to. He started to tear off everything. Minwoo blushed, pushing Dongwan into the bathroom with a change of clothes. “Mother of-- Decency, Dongwan! Decency!”

He didn’t really know why he did that. He had seen Dongwan numerous times; hell, the whole group even did a photoshoot together. So why was he suddenly acting like some shy girl? Before he could contemplate, though, Dongwan trudged out of the bathroom and flopped on the bed with a sigh. Minwoo stood there and shook his head, opting to sleep on the couch since the other wanted him to stay over, when he heard a muffled voice in the form of Dongwan attempting to speak while his face is buried into a pillow.

“Minwoo-ya. Sleep.” He patted (more like beat) the space on the bed beside him. Minwoo rolled his eyes, deciding to humor the other as he carefully climbed in, trying to make himself comfortable with the little space he was given (considering the other’s limbs were hanging all over the bed like floppy tentacles).

His eyes soon shot open, though, as he felt arms slowly snaking around his waist and a weight being pressed down onto his chest, which turned out to be Dongwan’s head. It was normal for the members to hug each other when they’re sleeping, but not to this extent. He was about to say something, but Dongwan’s soft voice stopped him.

“Minwoo-ya. I’ve always wanted to hug you like this. Can we stay like this for a while, just for a little while?”

One night wouldn’t hurt. I hope. “Alright, fine.” Soon, sleep enveloped Minwoo as well as the warm body next to him made him feel safe and comfortable.

Dongwan slowly opened his eyes the next morning, groaning as he felt as though a thousand boulders were being pounded with sledgehammers all at once inside his head. The throbbing, pulsating sensation and the dryness in his mouth and throat all added to his discomfort, as he tried to push himself up from the bed.

The first thing he noticed, though, is how warm and solid this usually empty side of the bed is. The next thing he noticed is that his hand is on a human chest. A very solid, very real, breathing human chest. And the next thing he noticed after that was that said chest belonged to the one member of Shinhwa he did not want it to belong to. His eyes widened as he gasped and whisked his hand away as if Minwoo’s chest suddenly became a hot, burning surface, before scrambling out of bed and feeling relieved when he saw that they both had clothes on.

So nothing happened. Just us sleeping on the same bed. Okay. Calm down. Dongwan took some deep, calming breaths. Minwoo started to stir and wake up as he sat up on the bed and looked around. Dongwan observed him from his corner quietly, waiting for his reaction. The minute Minwoo found who he was looking for, a smile crossed his face.

“Oh. Morning.” He said simply when their eyes met, as though this was the most normal thing that could ever happen in the world. But of course, what was Dongwan thinking? It was normal. It wasn’t unusual for any of the members to stay over a drunk member’s house. It wasn’t unusual for two (or three or four or all) of them to sleep in the same bed sprawled on top of each other.

And he hated how everything was just a normal and casual thing for Minwoo, yet it wasn’t for him. It was far from that.

“Morning.” Dongwan replied, immediately plastering a smile on his face as he got up from where he was sitting. “I’m… going to go prepare breakfast, okay?” Dongwan awkwardly shuffled out of the room, despite feeling like, for a lack of better word, absolute .

Minwoo trudged into the kitchen a mere few minutes after Dongwan had gone. He approached Dongwan and put a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Hey, let me make breakfast. Your head must hurt like hell after all that drinking last night.”

Dongwan attempted to shrug off the hand discreetly, not making any move to look at the other. “I’m fine.”

“No you’re not. Move. I’ll do it.”

“I said, I’m fine!” Dongwan pushed Minwoo back, which caused him to stumble a bit. Realizing what he had done, he turned away again and apologized in a small voice.

“Okay, what the hell is your problem, huh?” Minwoo shoved Dongwan and forced him to look at him. “Seriously, Dongwan?”

“Can you just… can you stop confusing me?” Dongwan screamed, which startled Minwoo. It was now or never. He’s dug himself to deep. There was seriously no turning back this time. “Just stop it, Minwoo. Stop all of this.”

“Stop what?” Minwoo was genuinely confused. As far as he knows, he hadn’t done anything too out of the ordinary. What could the other be talking about?

“Stop this.” He gestured at him vaguely. “Stop touching me. Stop being close to me. Stop taking care of me. Stop being Lee Minwoo.” He was usually good with words, but today his eloquence left him completely. How the hell would he describe exactly what he was feeling without sending the other scrambling out of his apartment in disgust?

“What the? Ya, Kim Dongwan! Start making sense here!” Minwoo clenched his fists at his side. “You think I’m confusing you? How confused do you think I am right now? As far as I know, I’ve been acting normally for the past few days!”

“That’s the problem! The normality of it all! Don’t you get it? It’s not normal for me!” Dongwan emitted a frustrated sigh. “You’re supposed to be able to read me so well, Lee Minwoo! Well, read me now!”

Minwoo stared at him for a few seconds, then his eyes widened like saucers.

“…Ya, so you…?” He could merely whisper in shock. Dongwan didn’t reply and instead moved towards the door, throwing it wide open.

“…Here’s the door. You’re free to run out at any point.”

Without saying anything, Minwoo quietly composed himself and walked towards the door slowly. Dongwan’s heart fell; but of course, what other reaction did he expect? He was probably appalled with him right now. Countless scenarios ran through his head as he tried to find an explanation about their… err… conflict to the other members, when Minwoo suddenly stopped in front of him. The next moments transpired so fast that he didn’t even have time to react.

Minwoo reached forward, grabbing the back of Dongwan’s neck as he closed the distance between them. Dongwan could feel the other’s unshaved stubble tickle his upper lip, as it finally clicked a few seconds later.

Minwoo was kissing him.

“Well, why did you have to be so difficult and didn’t just say so before?” Minwoo mumbled when he pulled away, his hot breath still blowing directly onto Dongwan’s lips.  “You had me all worried here thinking you’d never feel the same way.”

For a minute, Dongwan stood speechless, his mind still not quite registering what exactly had happened. All his worries from back then… dissipated just like that? This wasn’t some cruel joke being played on him, right? He wasn’t dreaming, right?

Minwoo’s clear, joking voice answered all his doubts and questions. “Am I wrong or what? Because if I’m wrong, I’m gonna go jump off a bridge now, thanks.”

Dongwan couldn’t help but smile. “… And here I thought you could read me like an open book. Turns out, you couldn’t read me at all since the very start, could you?”

“Nah, I just ignored all the telltale signs, I guess. If I couldn’t read you at all, do you think I would have risked a kiss?”

“You call that a kiss? That’s what you usually do to the other members.”

“Are you challenging me right now?”

Dongwan’s eyes lit mischievously. “Yes.”

“Then…” Minwoo grabbed the other man’s hand, intertwining their hands and leading him away from the door and into the apartment. “Let me show you what I can really do.”

“Make good hangover soup?” Dongwan joked as he allowed himself to be led. Minwoo merely chuckled.

“Don’t ruin the mood!”

Dongwan could only smile as the bedroom door clicked shut behind them. Suddenly, his head didn’t feel so bad anymore.

______

A/N: Bulk Update Masterlist

LOL first WooDong ever. I don't even know. xD Based his drunk personality on Shinhwa accounts, and yada yada yada. I don't even know how to explain myself. I was actually planning a completely different thing for this, but somehow it just ended up like this while I was writing it, so yeah. xD I hope you guys enjoy it though, and that's the end of the bulk update! :D