The bed felt empty without Jongin in it but it couldn’t be helped that he had to be up early to go to training and he wanted to get home before it was too late. I settled with just sleeping in one of his shirts and not really caring about the rest of my clothes since I lived alone anyways.

I sighed as I recalled last night and his promise, my voice sounded a bit deeper than usual but I didn’t really think about it as much as I was thinking about how cold my bed felt and how cold I felt now that the fall season was kicking in and it was slowly getting colder and colder outside.

Finally I worked up the strength to get up and walk towards the bathroom to take a shower. I took off his shirt and turned to look at myself in the mirror and literally screamed.

My long black hair was not cut short but that wasn’t why I was screaming as loudly as I was.

I was completely flat-chested! And I did not want to check the bottom part of me.

“W-What happened to me?” That same deep voice sounded from my throat and all I wanted to do was go back to sleep and hope to god that this was all just a nightmare and I would wake up perfectly normal in just a few minutes of shock.

But then the few minutes left and I was still standing, , in my bathroom staring at my short hair in the mirror and the change in my facial shape. Should I tell Jongin? Should I tell anyone for that matter? Somehow I changed into a boy overnight!

After about twenty straight minutes of freaking out while taking a shower, trying to find fitting clothes and just settling with the clothes that Jongin sometimes leaves over at my house, and sat down on my couch to calm myself down. I really had to think and I had to think fast. I knew I had all day before Jongin got home, but I still didn’t want to chance him coming back to my apartment to find a strange random boy in his girlfriend’s apartment.

So I had to make a decision, maybe not one of my most ‘smart’ ideas, but something that I knew would work and I knew someone who I could tell who wouldn’t freak out the second she found out. My best friend from High School, Eunhee. I texted her immediately asking her to come over and telling her it was urgent. We haven’t really talked much since we graduated, I blame Jongin, so I really hoped she got the memo and understood that I needed her.

Now all that was left to do was wait and hope to god that I can find a way to convince her that her best friend just turned into a boy overnight.

It didn’t go as smoothly as I had hoped. Her first reaction was to scream and point at finger at me. “Who are you? What are you doing in Jae’s house? Oh my god!” She screamed even more and freaked out. “You aren’t some sort of right? Oh my god what if you have already killed her and she is dead in the room and I have to somehow escape to tell Jongin that his one and only love is dead!”

She really should have been lucky that I wasn’t some that had killed Jaehi because with enough time she took talking about it I could have easily walked over to her and knocked her out! “Eunhee! It’s me! I’m Jaehi!” I caught her at the right time too because she was about to get into an offensive stance that probably would have knocked me out.

She didn’t believe me for a second though so I had to continue, “No really! We’re best friends and have been since our second year of middle school! Remember you comforted me when I got rejected by the most popular kid in school!” I could remember that day clearly and I know it was a silly reason to trust her so much, but everyone else was making fun of me that day and she was the only one who balled her little hand into a fist and started yelling at everyone to stop. She even bought me ice cream after school in hopes of making me feel better.

I might have lost the chance of dating the most popular kid in school, but I think I’d chose my best friend any day.

“I can’t believe it.” She muttered but still lowered her stance and looked at me hoping to find some similar look that could make her honestly believe it was me. It was hard to tell now since my entire face shape seemed different and my hair has never been this short before.

“You also hate onions, you had a crush on Jongin for a month but the said it was okay for me to date him after you found out how much he liked me.” I explained myself further and finally she looked like a cross between relieved and confused.

“I don’t know how to take this exactly, but you’re telling the truth. The thing is, you’re definitely a boy, and there is no denying that.” She walked closer to me and took her time almost in fear that maybe I was lying to her and that I was ready to kidnap her and destroy her life.

Once she was close enough to whisper she looked down and blushed, “Have you checked down there yet?” She pointed almost shamelessly to my crotch area and I immediately lit up a bright red and shook my head vigorously.

All throughout High School if there was anyone more experienced than Choi Eunhee than I obviously never met them because she was by far the most ually active. She had five boyfriends through High School and I knew for sure she went all of the way with at least two of them. A lot of people judged her for it and she actually got made fun of a lot through our three years. People called her a , a and someone who was easy to get in bed with. I didn’t think that was the case, but then again only I really knew the real Choi Eunhee. A delicate, fragile but strong girl who had a lot of issues growing up with the term called ‘love’.

I, on the other hand, was a bit more innocent throughout High School and only dated Jongin and that literally was because he wouldn’t take no for an answer and he was lucky that he got the chance with me. We only barely went all of the way right after graduation, only because we wanted to wait until we were ‘adults’ and who made clear smart decisions.

“So let’s have a look then!” She smirked and I honestly shouldn’t have let her get so close because the second she shouted that she lunged for me but luckily my reflexes were  faster than hers and I was able to take a large step back to dodge her attack. After that I proceeded to make a high pitched girly scream and bolted for the bathroom as the only form of protection that I could think of at the moment.

“Oh come on, you’re a boy now so why not stare at yourself ?” She pounded on the door while laughing at my dilemma. I knew she was the right person to call in this sort of situation, but I kind of forgot how curious she was and how little amounts of personal space she actually had with me.

However, she did raise a good point. A point I did not really want to think about. How was I supposed to go to the bathroom without blushing? How was I supposed to change clothes without feeling awkward?

And speaking of clothes the only boy clothes I owned were the very few articles of clothing that Jongin left here in case he stayed the night and needed some clothes for the next day. And I was lucky to be around his measurements or else I would be completely screwed.

“Why me?” I moaned in frustration and pushed myself against the bathroom wall. It took all of my strength to not slide down and just cry at the situation I was in. I tried to ignore the loud protests from Eunhee still pounding on the door, but it was a hopeless fight and I knew I was going to need her help.

So finally I opened the door and before she could say anything immediately said, “You need to help me.”

Her fist that had been about to hit the door once more slowly went to her side and she finally looked completely calm. “Jaehi, we’ve been best friends for so long and you’ve helped me through so much when I really needed you, so obviously I’ll always repay the favor in any way I can.” She smiled softly at me and stepped forward to bring me into a hug.

In a family of just my parents and I, I always wanted to have a sister, someone who I could talk to about my day and giggle about boys to. In Eunhee’s case she wanted a sister as well because she grew up with a smart older brother Eunjo and a younger brother Seungjo. She had the knowledge of what boys went through in life while I did not, and right now that is one thing that can be very helpful in my case.

There was no way I wanted to tell Jongin this, not only would he not believe me but I was sure if he found out his girlfriend is now his boyfriend he wouldn’t want too much to do with me. His whole speech about ‘falling in love with my soul’ was probably just his way of cheering me up last night since I didn’t make the audition.

“So you’ll help me?” I asked once more to make sure. She smiled brightly this time and nodded.

“Yup! It’s time to turn Jaehi into a boy that people will believe is a boy.” She giggled at her own sentence but tried to be really serious about the situation. It was still a hard thing for her to believe that her best friend turned into a boy, but at least now she fully believed that I was indeed who I said I was.

I walked over to the couch finally and just sat in silence. Eunhee looked like she was trying to think of some things that we could do basing most of her knowledge off of her brothers.

Finally after a long period of time went by a sudden ringing sounded out through my apartment and I knew this was a bad sign because the only person who ever called me around this time was Jongin.

Eunhee dived for the phone before I even could think to just ignore it and she answered it with as happy of a tone as she could muster up.

“Hello?”

“Uh, no she went out—“

“No, it’s fine—“

“Seriously dude stop! Once she gets back she promised me a girls night because we haven’t seen each other since graduation thanks to who?”

“That’s right!” She yelled into the phone and hung up. I looked completely confused at this whole situation but I started to piecing things together as Jongin wanting to talk to me and not being very happy that I didn’t answer my phone.

“So what did he say exactly?” I asked out of pure curiosity.

“He wanted to talk to you, I said you went out so he said he was going to come over during his break from training, I said it was fine and when he interrupted and said he was coming over anyways I pretty much told him to stop and we’re having our own night.” She explained as simply as possible and I knew he wouldn’t try to call again for the rest of the night—because he was actually a little afraid of Eunhee.

“That won’t work for long.” I sighed knowing that he was going to grow impatient and want to see me. This was only going to hold him off for about a day or so, after that he might just bust in through the door and take me away from Eunhee.

The problem is he’d be taking a ‘complete stranger’ away and not Lee Jaehi.

He was going to want an explanation and that was the one thing I could not provide him. I’ve already decided that I was going to keep this a secret from him, I’ve already decided that there were only a few people who can know about this and it happened to be the Choi family.

“What do I do?” I asked Eunhee and she just sighed already knowing what I needed to do.

The problem was I didn’t want to do what she was going to say.

“You’re either going to have to think of some amazing plan or break up with him.”

I had braced myself for that solution but still hearing it from Eunhee was too much and I ended up on my knees with my hands covering my face holding myself back from crying. There had to be another way. I didn’t want to lose him, I never wanted to lose him.

He wormed his way into my heart and there was no way I was letting go of him.

Pretending to be a boy was easy, learn the ways of how they act and dress and work more with making my voice more regular, but dealing with Jongin was the hard part. I didn’t want to tell him and I didn’t want to lose him.

“Maybe I can tell him I had to go somewhere for a while.” I suggested and lifted my head up. “And can’t contact him besides texting.”

Eunhee looked hesitant at first but after seeing the convincing look in my eyes she sighed and smiled. “If you’re convincing enough it might work.”

Now here came Eunhee’s favorite part of the day. After Eunhee contacted her brothers for some information about ‘boys’ and some tips that could be useful she grabbed a hold of my hand and dragged me all around Seoul looking for anything to make it more convincing that I have always been a boy and never have been a girl.

I barely had any boy’s clothing besides what Jongin had left behind so I quickly dressed myself in whatever worked and we left to go shopping. I didn’t have the most money to be spending on clothes but we managed to pick out some fashionable clothes for cheap prices by checking around and Eunhee arguing with the store’s clerk every once in a while.

The next day we stayed mostly inside my apartment with Eunhee telling me certain things that boys seemed to do. So far I still couldn’t look down when I went to the bathroom and taking a shower was the weirdest thing in the world. The mornings were the worst for me for certain reasons that I’ve only known because of how Jongin would be in the morning, but I just took a shower to get rid of it and so far it worked out pretty well.

By the third day I felt confident that I could act like a boy out in public and be believable (and not gay looking) and it was that day that I decided it was time to tell Jongin that I couldn’t reach him. I convinced him that I had left the city to go to a training program to better myself, but it was a strict program that didn’t like us using our phones besides texting.

By sheer luck he believed me completely and told me to try my hardest and that he’d miss me. We ended our conversation with ‘I love you’ and I held on to my phone with a sigh. How was I ever going to live without him?

It was then that I decided to do something dramatic! Eunhee seemed hesitant about my plan but allowed me to go through with it in the end saying that I was far too convincing (and hot as a boy) to say no.

I was going to audition to SM Entertainment once more! But this time not as Lee Jaehi, but as Lee Sungjae! I distinctly remembered them saying they were looking mainly for boys as trainees so I had more of a chance of getting in than before. And I just had to try, if I got in then I could train alongside Jongin as a friend and stay close to him even if it only meant him seeing me as a boy and not as his girlfriend.

I didn’t want to change my name too much so I went with something simple and kept a part of my name already knowing that even if they were similar there was no way that Jongin would know it was me.

And let me tell you changing one’s identity is one of the hardest things to do and if not for Eunhee’s brother I would not have been able to pull this off. Eunjo, her smart older brother, happened to work for the social security  services of Seoul and was able to configure a fake number for me to use that would show up in the database. He registered me under my family name as a distant cousin and gave me some basic background information that they might look into if I were selected for the trainee program.

After that was settled I went out and bought a whole new phone on my plan so that I could keep my old number but also have a new phone number to use for Sungjae. And lastly I cancelled my apartment’s lease and paid the deposit that I owed for leaving early. I didn’t want Jongin coming over at any point and seeing me as a boy, I just didn’t want to risk it.

Finally Eunhee suggested that we moved in together so that I could have a new place to stay (and so she could get away from her family).

It was final now. I wasn’t Lee Jaehi anymore. I was Lee Sungjae and if I were to stay like this for the rest of my life at least I knew I was establishing myself well.