Have you ever had a dream that felt so real? So real that you’re not even sure if it was a segment of your dreamland wonders or a fraction of reality? 

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It was 4:30 in the morning when Byunghun forced himself to get out of bed. He usually wakes up at exactly 5:00 AM, when the sky is still dark and the sun is still hiding, but being his paranoid self who can’t help but over-think everything, he got up earlier than usual and silently got dressed and gathered his belongings. Waking up early had become a daily routine of his. It was his way of making sure no one could approach him when he wasn’t aware of it, and it was his way of protecting himself. Byunghun took out a post-it from his backpack and began writing a note to thank Chanhee for letting him stay and that he left early without saying bye because he didn’t want to wake him up. Because Byunghun was so focused on writing the note, he yelped and tumbled to the ground when someone suddenly touched his shoulder and spoke, 

“Ah...why are you up so early? It’s not even five in the morning…” Chanhee, still barely awake, mumbled as he lowered himself to the floor where Byunghun was. 

“D-Don’t- Don’t come ne-near me!” Byunghun’s voice broke in panic and screamed, “Get away from me! Don’t touch me!”

Byunghun’s reaction shocked Chanhee, and Chanhee figured something must have happened while he was still asleep, so he backed up a few steps to give Byunghun some space, 

“Hey, are you alright? Don’t worry, it’s just me, Chanhee.”

Byunghun, however, did the opposite of calming down and instead his whole body started to shake uncontrollably. It seemed to Chanhee that Byunghun was having some sort of panic attack, and Chanhee obviously couldn’t leave Byunghun and do nothing about it. 

“Byunghun, can you hear me? Try to take deep breaths,” Chanhee held Byunghun’s shoulders, trying his best not to panic himself, but Byunghun only stared back with emptiness in his eyes as his entire body continued to tremble without control.

“Byunghun! Please answer me!” tears began to well up Chanhee eyes when Byunghun showed no response, “Byunghun! Byunghun, please!”

Chanhee kept calling the same name over and over, but it was as if the name didn’t belong to its owner because Byunghun didn’t respond to his own name. For someone who’s normally good at handling all kinds of situations the best way possible, this one in particular was an exception. He who usually displayed a calm demeanor was too lost to focus. He who usually comes up with the best solution couldn’t stop himself from worrying and panicking. Why of all situations was this one different? The reason was obvious, but Chanhee had not allowed himself to realize it just yet; The situation involved Byunghun. He wanted Byunghun to be okay. He couldn’t stand seeing Byunghun go through so much pain. He just wanted to help, but he didn’t know how. Just when Chanhee found his cellphone and was about to call the ambulance, Byunghun, who was crouching at the corner of the room, stopped trembling. Chanhee dropped everything and ran towards Byunghun in a split second. He sat Byunghun’s limp body up against the wall and supported him by the shoulders. 

“Byunghun…” Chanhee couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down his face any longer, “Can you hear me? It’s me, Chanhee, Lee Chanhee. I’m so sorry…please forgive me.”

“Why are you sorry? Please don’t be sorry,” Byunghun’s breathing was heavy, but he forced himself to to talk, hoping to calm Chanhee down and reassure him that everything was alright now. 

“But how could I not be! I should have called the ambulance or anyone sooner! What if someone worse happened to you...how…what...I couldn’t...”

Teardrops stained the old, wooden floors...

“You know, no one ever stayed by my side when this happened in the past, and you did, so I want to thank you for that.”

Sobs filled the silence of the room...

“This was all my fault...I’m so sorry for letting this happen...”

Hands wiped away escaping tears...

“I’m fine, I really am. Now, stop crying little boy,” Byunghun let out a tired but unforced chuckle. 

“Hey, that’s my line. Only I get to call you that,”Chanhee whined and immediately broke into a smile.

I mean, how could he not when he yearned to see Byunghun’s sweet smile and to hear Byunghun’s pure yet shy laughter every single day?

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