Hello everyone!

It's been exactly six months since I closed Round Eleven for judging and I want to sincerely apologize for the radio silence on my end. And I also want express how sorry I am that I still haven't delivered the results for Round Eleven yet, even though it's been so long. I usually do not take this long to judge and I'm beating myself over writing this update without the round's results ready as well.

To put it lightly...it's been rough. The pandemic upended everyone's lives and I am no exception to that. A lot of life plans were put on hold. A lot of frustration, sadness, and anger built up during the 15 months of quarantine. I've done a lot of self-reflection in order to figure out how I'm going to move forward in my career while still balancing my family and my friends. I still don't have the answer to that, as I've let my friendships fall to the wayside especially. I honestly have not spoken to any of my IRL friends for most of 2021, because things in my personal life have snowballed these past few months in particular.

There was a medical emergency in my family that was unrelated to COVID-19 and it was, to put it bluntly, absolutely terrifying. I don't feel comfortable going into the exact details, especially since it doesn't pertain to my personal medical history, but something like this has never happened to my family before and I had to re-evaluate a lot of my priorities as well as my complex emotions towards my family members. I've had a very turbulent relationship with my family for over a decade, but this emergency came on the heels of an equally terrifying change that may take place and I just kind of fell apart emotionally. But because of the medical emergency, I did not have the luxury to just shut off my brain like I wanted to. There was no time to wallow in my sadness. So I pushed myself to take on more responsibilities, both around the house and financially, while trying to develop healthier relationships by not holding onto my sadness and anger from the past. I'm currently juggling a full-time job and two freelance positions while also taking classes, so I'm left with next-to-no free time for myself. It's been incredibly taxing these past months, but necessary to live a life that has as few regrets as possible.

Soon after the medical emergency, my uncle died.

This also comes soon after my grandfather died.

That side of the family is still reeling from these events. My grandfather's death was sadly expected due to the various health problems he developed in the last few years of his life. But my uncle was relatively young and had so much left to experience. And because of the pandemic, we're unable to visit my aunt and cousins to support them during this devastating time. And for myself, personally, I've always been very sensitive to death. Especially after my best friend's father died several years ago. Since then, without fail, there have been deaths of people close to me every other year. And 2021 is no exception to this unfortunate trend.

Typing this out feels...really strange for me. I don't like to talk about the deaths that have happened in my personal life, online or in person. And I will be removing this update post once I reveal the results for Round Eleven. But I felt that I owed you all an explanation. You all have been waiting so patiently and I promise that I will finish the judging for Round Eleven soon. I have 1/3rd of the entries left to properly read through. I just need to set aside time for it that doesn't involve me sacrificing my sleep, because that's one facet of my life I'm trying to improve. I am notorious for going multiple days without sleep, a terrible lifestyle that I developed in high school and university, and I can no longer constantly pull all-nighters anymore for my own health and sanity. But it's important to me that I thoroughly read every entry, because you all have put so much effort into writing these stories and I want to honor that effort by extending the same courtesy to you. And the entries I've read so far are fantastic, so I know deciding the top three will be a fun challenge. However, I just need a little more time, so I humbly ask for your continued patience. <3

I will make sure this prolonged judging fiasco does not ever happen again in future rounds. This writing contest means the absolute world to me and it's very important to me that I deliver what's promised to you, because you all deserve the best and I have sorely failed you this time around. So for that, I sincerely apologize again.

If you have sent me any PMs, I promise I am not purposely ignoring you because I don't like you or I think your message isn't worth responding to. I simply don't have the energy or emotional capacity to carry conversations outside of answering short questions right now. My IRL friends are probably wondering why I've disappeared off the face of the earth as well, so that's another thing I need to resolve once I'm not mentally exhausted. They have no idea what's been happening and I don't know how much I feel comfortable revealing, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Anyway, once again, I want to reiterate my heartfelt appreciation for your patience and my sincere apologies for not being able to deliver results in a timely manner. The next time this contest is updated, I will have the Round Eleven winners page posted.

Thank you so much, everyone <3 I hope you all are well :)

"I'm still here. It's not the end."