CAMPBELLism

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Description

 

In a world where everything seems to be impossible, two persons changed their destiny. The eye of the hawks are watching but they managed to be free. They made their destiny. For LOVE is the answer to conquer this all.

Foreword

This is inspired by Campbell himself who wrote "The Power of Myth" and I really love the book. I am encouraging you to read that one.

 

Be warned. I am not a good writer. I made this originally for my friend pasta- as a 2012 Christmas gift. I am not going to post other stories if nobody give me the response that I want. I love critiques and suggestions. My room is open for those.

 

Do not plagiarized. I do not own the characters, they are meant to be a part of this story. This is for fan fiction purpose only.

Do not post this to other sites, please tell me if you see one. Thank you.

 

XOXO

Author's Thoughts
Crispa
I am bored and sleepy and sometimes it is the reason why I write. Critiquing poems is not that easy, I am challenging you to try doing it before midnight.
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Comments

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xxxiG-DARAGONxxi #1
Chapter 1: KYAAAAAAAH!
Pasta- #2
Chapter 1: And it was cute and worthy to be called fluff. heck, it's fluff in every way. lol. And just so you know, I love the ending since it's cute and I can imagine them just doing that.

Thank you for sharing this. You should publicize this because who knows, people could offer a different perspective on this fic. Hurhur.

P.S: Sorryyyy bb, it took a week to comment on this because your master is busy fangirling over bbq. Mehehe. Love you. Write more. <3
Pasta- #3
Chapter 1: Sometimes, it still feels awkward to read this 'fluff' because you know in real life, it doesn't seem to be 'your thing' (lol) but knowing that this was supposed to be mine and bbq's is kind of overwhelming. lol, okay moving on.

I think that one of your strengths is dialogue. I liked the exchange of lines between your characters and I think it's a good thing because the lines are what actually improves a story (well for me). Conversation with boring lines makes a specific part of the story dull. So I say that you maintain it and don't explain everything through convos. Let the reader figure it out. ;)

On the other hand, there are few parts that are confusing because the situation is not fully explained. I get the idea of wanting to maintain the mystery but sometimes we get too absorbed in trying to conceal things (and wanting to let the reader figure things out) that we reveal too little that can cause confusion. For example, the chant (I thought it was like a fanchant or smth (hehe), maybe you can describe what kind of chant it is?); the part where Dara said she 'moved on' (maybe you can add to the line the reason why she has to move on and from where, without actually revealing much?); and the part when she said 'after what you did', (you can also be particular on what did he do that made her upset - like she's blaming him because of her hormones, or because he made her preggy, or was it because he attended the show, smth like that haha). You should add more description to support your dialogue. Hihi

In terms of grammar, I don't think there are major problems on that. Just take note of the tenses and parallelism. :)

I like your reference to Campbell in explaining what marriage is and your characters' stand on it. [But just to be safe, you can put a note on the end of the story to mention from whom the (italicized)lines came from.] Because of it, you lend us, your readers a new perspective on marriage which you supported through the ending of the story. tbc
purple_bee #4
Chapter 1: Aigoo! So cute!
mitchai3667 #5
Chapter 1: nice..plz do not stop writing awesome story!!spread the awesomeness.. ^^
haeroma #6
Chapter 1: wow.. awsome!
codenameclumsy #7
Chapter 1: Unexpected. I thought they were fighting or what. Cute one, really. I like it :)
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