1.
“so Jinki-yah~this is cafetaria” the boy beside him chirpes.
Jinki’s first official friend in SM. His name is Kim Jonghyun, he is that easy going, friendly-type, loud, his laugh is rich and Jinki is comfortable to talk to him, forgets to feel nervous beside him. For days, he follows close behind him, marvels in awe at everything like a puppy (well, actually Jinki thinks Jonghyun is the one who resemble a puppy), goes to everywhere together and heading to the same vocal class. Jonghyun’s voice is way too beautiful so that Jinki feels like he would like to kidnap the voice, wraps it tightly inside a jar and keeps it in his room.
Jinki hums a bit with a nod, trailing his gaze on everything and everyone in the crowded room. A boy with red hair sings on the table pretends like he is holding a mini concert with sandwiches and tomatoes as audiences, two girls at the corner try to put something purple on their eyelashes, Jinki could smell chicken from there and his stomach grumbles as a respond. Jonghyun stops talking for a while and turns to facing him.
“Come on Jinki, let’s get some snacks”
“I’m on a diet, hyung. Let’s just leave” Jinki puffs his cheeck.
Jonghyun chuckles, but complieses nonetheless. They tip toes into piano room and plays some songs together, until Jinki is too hungry to sing anymore and falls asleep in Jonghyun’s shoulder. 30 minutes before midnight, Jonghyun grunts as he drags the sleeping boy to back into his room.
Jonghyun sneakes into their practice room whereas Jinki has been filling the new form from SM office 2 days later, he gasps in a shock rather dramatically and bows at Jinki like he’s a new demigod. Jinki raises an eyebrow at him until Kibum (the pretty and smartass, snarky boy who has same dance classes as they two) hits Jonghyun’s head and kindly mouths “pabbo” at him.
“I don’t know if Jinki hyung is older!” Jonghyun defends.
Jinki couldn’t help but laugh.

2.
“40 times per minutes”
“Oh really, I bet... it’s 50-something...”
“Guys...” Jinki sighs dramatically from his place lying on the floor after practicing, weaping sweats that drips from his temple. They have been staring at the newest trainee named Taemin who sits down across the room beside Kibum. He is adorable, with undeniablele cute, innocent facial expression and slim body. But the older boys have noticed Taemin’s habit of batting his eyelashes so often when he is nervous and make fun with it. And since he is nervous most of the time, he practically bats his lashes like tents time every minute.
“Come on, take your stopwatch and see who wins the bet” Jonghyun whispers through his teeth and shoves his friend in the stomach.
Kibum who beams at the new kid since his first arrival (due to his proclaimed-himself “weakness over everything cute” thing) is more than a little annoyed this time. He pulls Taemin around a bit before kicks Jonghyun’s sin without warning at the process.
“whaaaat!”Jonghyun yelps.
“We can heard you clearly, idiot”
“okaaaaay” Jonghyun mocks, but grinning nonetheless, arm raises to pinch Taemin’s cheek lightly. Letting the younger know he was just kidding.
Kibum narrows his eyes dangerously to him and his weird way to get closer to people before petting Taemin’s head affectionaly.
Kibum reminds Jinki of his umma, the oldest scoffs quietly, watching the scenes in front of him. He gets up and offers a hand to the youngest, his eyes form into cresent moon as Taemin reaches out his hand to be shaken with.
“Lee Jinki” he grins.
A smile flashes across Taemin’s feature (nervously, still) and that eyelashes flutter again.
“50 times!” Jonghyun yells to his friends across the room.
Kibum kicks his sin again.

3.
He tries his best not to stare at him that bluntly. He is all the girls has been dreaming of, Tall and slightly tanned body, pointed nose, warm smile but with some mischievous glint in his big big big big doe eyes, the eyes that now staring at Jinki’s brown ones across the table. He mentally curses Jonghyun who left him here in the middle of cafetaria, with this Choi Minho boy (yes he knows his name. Who doesn’t, anyway?).
The cafetaria is rather empty than usual, just some older trainees chatting in the corner. It’s few minutes after midnight when they finally finish the dance practice session. Jinki has been dragged by Jonghyun here to grab some late dinner. Yes, that Kim Jonghyun, the lucifer’s son who abandons him after his puppy eyes spotted Kibum sat on the café with Minho. Jinki looks around under his bang and sighs; Jonghyun is nowhere to be found. Well, maybe that is a good idea considering the urge in Jinki’s mind to shove his fork in the brain of Jonghyun once he get to see him. Jinki takes a peek with the corner of his eyes at Minho anxiously. The said boy is chewing his diner silently (chicken, 2 big slices of toast, apple, salad, and milk). Jinki frowns at his own tray (salad, salad, and milk) as he staring down at his chubby stomach, silently blaming it.
“Hey, Jinki hyung” Minho breaks the silence after a split minutes of hesitation, trying to shoo away the awkwardness that hanging between them. He smiles and Jinki’s mind dies a little inside.
“h-hi” Jinki mutters. Suddenly feels like he is sweating buckets.
“Hmm, where did Jonghyun hyung drag Kibum hyung go?”
“Um-“. Jinki chews his lips. Secretly scared his clumsiness will spoil the mood, or worse, ruin his chance to make a new friend. Or put it simple, ruin his chance to befriend Minho. The rational part of him that’s tucked back in some corner of his brain urging him to find a proper answer for that simple question quickly.
“Uh- can I have your chicken?-“
“...............”
His mind is not cooperating with him, obviously.
Jinki mutters something incoherent before runs out of the room with a speed of light, doesn’t bother to look back at the gaping Minho. He refuses to speak to the clueless Jonghyun for the next three days.

4.
Jinki doesn’t know. he maybe will never know. But long after his miserable attempt of escaping, even when giggly Kibum and smugly-faced Jonghyun back and settled back to the table 20 minutes later, Minho still has a difficulty to stop himself of mentally squealing “cuuuuuuuuuteeeeee” at Jinki’s flushing cheek.
“cuuuuuuuuuuteeeeeeeee”.
Stop, Choi Minho. He slaps himself in and groans patheticaly.
Kibum throws him an astonished look for the good ten minutes after that.

5.
Jinki is confidence enough of his voice. He used to think that way. But when the monthly report from SM is in his hand and the graphic of his progress forming the not so beautiful 0 point, he couldn’t think anything else except how his world seems tighten around his chest and he just can’t breath. Everything he does feels wrong. Everything seems to be getting on top of him.
6.
He remembers, His middle school teacher ever said privacy is one of the basic human rights. He agreed. But then he is there, curls up on the cold bathroom floor, tears refuse to stop flowing any soon, Jinki starts to ponder that maybe sometimes, sometimes, people build the wall inside their heart just to find someone who strong enough to break it.
It’s 3 months since his first arrival into SM. He’s making some friends now, friendly sunbaes and had even shaked his hand with dbsk Yunho once, but no one ever this close to him before, not except his parents. Minho’s hand is in his back, arm embosoms his body protectively, and fingers make a comforting circle in his back. Very little piece of Jinki’s sober-minded brain screaming with nervous agitation, forcing him to stop embarrasing himself further in front of Minho like this.
“it’s okay hyung. Hyung. It’s okay....”
Even more displeased with himself than before, Jinki sobs harder into Minho’s collarbone when the younger’s deep voice hits his ears.
Someone’s care. Someone’s actually care.
7.
“And Choi Minho, you are the rapper”
Minho almost doesn’t believe his ears. Jonghyun is soon sobbing in front of Lee Soo Man’s shii desk and Kibum is not better. Taemin grinning at them nervously, eyes twinkle with happiness and his fingers slowly clutching Kibum’s arm. He sees Jinki (it’s hyung—he is older, he reminds himself) staring at him with unblinking eyes and mouth hanging open like a fish. Minho’s face splits into wide grin and he lets Kibum gathers all of them to join in their first band mate hug. How cheesy it may sounds.
8.
He is the leader of a Korean rookie boy band called shinee now, he tells his parents. His mother’s smile that follows after his statement is teary and his father let out a surprised sigh before they give him a hug.
“Take care Jinki yah, my baby..” his mother whispers between the kisses. He nods and clutches their fingers hard before pulls away; the word is there in the tip of his tongue. He wants to say it so badly, but he is too afraid.
He knows his father is sneaking in his room that night, the last night he sleeps in his own bed before he’ll move to the dorm. He is faking a convincing snort as his dad inserts a set of medicine inside his suitcase. The middle-aged man’s shadow is oscillating in the dim of moon light. Calm, father-like, full of authority, and quiet like a gentleman he is. Jinki always sleeps in the dark, and at the moment he is grateful he does, because the tears flowing freely on is face is almost unable to be hidden.
Dad. He wants to say. Dad I’m sorry.
It’s a long time before he hears his father eases out from his room. Soon after click sound of the door echoes, he is gasping for lack of breath he doesn’t know he has been holding before. He knows by his heart how his dad wants him to be a businessman like him. His grade is far from bad and his father always says he’s his only child, his only treasure.
I’m sorry dad. He swallows back the words and tries to doss down. Just to fail as the remaining hours passes without any sleep.
Dad I’m sorry.
No word exchanged between them the next morning. But the smile in his dad’s face is absolutely sincere.
9.
“Jinki hyu—“ Minho pauses.
“o-onew hyung”
He is onew now. (People still don’t get used to his new name). And Minho is still Minho. It doesn’t matter; he just needs to hold the urge to call him mr.handsome flaming charisma in front of everyone.
Wait, what?
, you are so screwed, onew. He laughs at himself, in front of thousand of people.... In the middle of talk show.
“Uhm” he coughs into his mic in the attempt to burn down embarrassement. The MC looks at him questionally when eeverybody’s eyes are on him.
Later at the dorm, Jonghyun tells Taemin he is contemplating to make a song for Jinki hyung’s condition. Jinki wonders if Jonghyun would write some sappy love sick fanboy lyrics for him.
10.
Jonghyun is the voice. He likes to write lyrics, he makes beautiful song as well as his voice. Kibum is the personality. He is, no doubt, a tough guy, despite the fact that he has an unhealthy obsession towards girl band’s dance and behaving completely like his umma. Taemin is the movement. He doesn’t need to explain that, does he? That kid is simply precious. Minho is the look and gentleness, mature of his age, but still mischievous at some point. Even their sunbaes envy him.
And he is, Kibum and Jonghyun said on their hello baby scenes, a boy with some weird allergy. Sometimes he really wonders how Mr. Lee Soo Man’s brain works.

11.
No one knows, but he used to read that book every night under his comforter, memorizing its sentences in his head. Well, until the day other members find out and shove it into the base of litterbasket.
“Hyung, you don’t need that book. You know we love you right?” Kibum give him that ‘you’ve be gotta kidding me’ eyebrow and he is startled, eyes staring everything but four pair of eyes in front of him. Kibum is firm, but he is always honest. If he’s telling you that he likes you, then he likes you. If he’s telling you that he wants to kill you, then you need to find a bunker to hide soon.
“Oh, let’s play something! Hyung do you have the newest guitar hero game?” Jonghyun grins and lifts Jinki’s iPod off the bed.
Minho touches his long fingers into him for a bit and he smiles weakly, nods over the hyperactive lead singer and maknae who dominating his new gadget. Minho’s fingers are warm, bigger, it’s make him nervous as hell more than he’d care to admit. He wonders, as Minho’s hand is gone and his hand goes lonely, where he could find that important book named “we respect a funny leader” again.
12.
Number is just a number. Nothing more, nothing less. But when score board in front of him blinked 77 points at its screen while Minho’s score is just 37 at that silly basket game on their TV program, he knows how a number could change the Mr. flaming charisma to be Mr. Childish Sulking 5 years old.
The surprise is?
He likes that very rare side of Minho’s too.
13.
Everyone is tired. But as manager hyung rephrases his schedules of the day, a reality show at 7, mc-ing at 10, another SHINee talkshow at 1, performing at 5 with all of the members, rehearsal for his musical at 7 and midnight shoot until 6 in the morning....
He trails down the list to find some of “lunch” or “free time” or maybe “rest”.
He gets almost nothing.

14.
Somehow between I’m fine and thanks Minho-yah, Minho could find the please help me beg from Jinki. Maybe it just him, he doesn’t know, it’s not that it’s important though.
The important thing is a boy who has been piggybacked by his manager after strucked down by a lighting pole at their mubank stage has to be fine.
Taemin’s clutching his arm hard as both of them follow the manager, wandering away from tons of panicked fans. He barely notices when leeteuk motions to call soon woriedly from the stage.
Jinki hyung is fine, he tries to tell Taemin.
But his mom used to tell him not to lie.
The furious Jonghyun has an dangerously harsh argument with their manager after that, manager hyung is more than pissed out but whatever. It’s all worth it, he scoffs. at least now they can find word ‘rest’ in their schedulle.

15.
“Minho twisted his ankle” Jinki juts his lower lip as he nudges Kibum’s shirt and following him around the kitchen.
“Yes, hyung” the younger says patiently, grabs a napkin in the drawer over Jinki’s head.
“He jumped at that high blue box and fell and injured his ankle”
“I know” Kibum sighs heavily, deadpans at his called leader.
“I kind of stood behind you when he went home” he continues on his attempt to not spilling out the porridge he has been poured into a bowl, which is difficult because his hyung chooses that moment to behave as mature as a kindergarten.
“And his leg is hurt, he can’t move aro—“
“Hyung, if you aren’t stop being a pain in the and not just kiss or something....just talk to him okay. and i mean NOW”
Minho stops in the middle of halfway and can’t help but snorts in amusement. He has done nothing but lie down on his bed since his manager brought him home from dream team shoot. It was just some twisted limb and now he can’t moving his right leg without cringe in pain. Taemin has choosed the moment of his motionless stage to entertain him by showing his new cheerful dance in his room (or it was because the maknae’s still on sugar high, hard to know), Jonghyun distracts him with his psp he got from Kyuhyun to save him from boredom, Kibum was, much of his dismay, fussing over him and made sure he was comfortable, made him a cup refreshing warm tea and forcefully tucked him bed, but his Jinki hyung is the one who hasn’t approached him yet and he doesn’t know why he feels like sulking. He tries to swallow his dissapointment and just let it off. But Minho’s being Minho, can’t let his curiosity eat him and starts to sneak out of his room, restrain his weight upon his right arm along the wall to keep him from slipped.
“OHMYGOD MINHO WHY ARE YOU HERE! OHMYGOD” Jinki rushes at his side and shoves him back into his room imediately after he noticed the injured boy leaning on the doorway.
So the leader is practically babying him for the rest of the week. Accompanying him after the shoot, waving at him in the middle of dance practice that Minho just can watch because his leg doesn’t allow him to dance yet, pouting when Minho refuses to eat, pouting when Minho insists to actuate his leg more than necessary, sometimes Minho would do those things just because he wants to see that pout.
Minho would catch him staring at his leg with some of sad expression, eyes almost guilty, which is most likely the case. And Minho has no choice but smiling at him and reassuring the leader that he is alright. Because really, he is alright. He never knows injured could feel this good, though.
16.
It’s almost accidental, their first kiss is. It’s the first morning Minho’s able to walk without the cast and he coudn’t help but feels light and happy the first time he wakes up. He picks steps into the kitchen, the other members has been there as well, munching their breakfast or in Jonghyun’s case, snorting on his plate of kimchi jiggae. Jinki is sitting in his usual seat, drowsy eyes and mouth slightly parted, looks so adorable in that mussed brown hair. The rapper grabs an apple from the basket before pecks his hyung’s lips absentmindedly, almost unconciously, Says “good morning hyung” casually and sits on his chair, munching his first bite of apple completely unaware of the situation surrounding him.
10 seconds of deathly silence.
And then the kitchen’s bursting into an utter of chaotic mess, key yells dramatically something about inappropriate action to the minor which is almost unheard by Minho because Taemin is jumping from his chair to dance around them, hitting the kitchen counter with his spoon and singing the chorus of love like oxygen. Jonghyun laughs hard and splutters his kimchi everywhere at both Minho’s clueless expression and Jinki’s four shades of red’s face. It’s another few seconds later when Minho realizes what did just happened and his eyes widens.
Jinki is stunned by the kiss. Hell, that’s like his wildest imagination comes true. Because honestly, he is tired of not being able to show his affection towards Minho without questioning the other’s feeling. So instead of run like a coward, before the panicked Minho could reacts, or worse, regrets his action, Jinki locks his gaze into him. Silently waiting for explanation.
“Sorry hyung”
Minho doesn’t sound sorry at all.
Because despite the chaotic situation in the room and Jinki’s stunned expression, let’s say he could read Jinki well. And at the moment he could swear that Jinki’s eyes are sparkling. A very nice blush is blossoming on his cheecks and Minho thinks he couldn’t get enough of it.
Jonghyun is already gasping of the lack of oxygen when Taemin insists to sing the rest of the song loudly, Minho, ignoring them, decides that he likes the look in Jinki’s eyes so much, and yes, he is more than willing to do anything to keep the shine in those brown orbs.
17.
“One, two, three, four, and five...” he counts bruises he managed to get that day, brow slightly knits formed into a cute frown.
“One,” Minho kisses his bruised arm. “Two”, his right thumb, “three,” his pinky finger, “four,” his slightly swollen temple, “five..”And his knee. Slowly, tenderly, sweetly, like he is the most precious thing in his live. Jinki likes to think that way, well, delusional is legal though.
Minho looks up then looping his arms around the older’s waist, smiling at him, and it’s enough to make Jinki sighs at contentment and lays back once more with his famous eyes-crinkle at the edge- smile.
“Hyung” Minho pushes himself up onto his arm after quiet pause for a few minutes. He hears Jonghyun sings papa bear song from somewhere in the house. He likes to do that, mainly because key is annoyed by it.
“Yeah?” Jinki ducks his head from his comfy pillow, yawning.
“You know well that you don’t need to injure yourself to get some kiss-it-better from me right?”

18. We are shining shinee
Jinki cathes Kibum’s eyes and nods towards the door. atmosphere around them is chaotic, loud music dominated by Heechul who has been hitting the microphone with some rock songs that can be heard from across the ocean, definitely make people wondering whether the AB-type boy has finally proven the theory that too much hair dye could mess with the brain right. Some people are drunk, dancing, laughing, or simply chatting in the name of celebrating SM’s anniversary. Kibum frowns a moment, eyes searching, then after found what is missing, he reaches Taemin’s hand and makes them way out of the crowd. Jonghyun soon follows behind them, waving a goodbye towards Ryeowook. Jinki feels a tug on his arm and soon he’s welcoming big doe eyes of Minho. He grins and lets the younger boy lead him all the way.
He doesn’t know when it started, he tries not to think it strange how they can speak towards each other without words. When he starts calling their dorm a home, When he finally gets comfortable around them, knowing them by heart, or when the word ‘us’ doesn’t feel so foreign in his tongue. But later at the night, as a bloody corpse flashing on the screen and Kibum’s shriek could be heard through the whole room, as Jonghyun’s laugh muffles with the pillow Kibum has thrown to him, or as Taemin hides his popcorn under the blanket while munching it and refuses to give him any... Jinki realises he couldn’t be more grateful than that.
He tightens his grip on Minho’s hand on his stomach, resting his head on his broad chest. Minho gives him small peck on the cheek and he closes his eyes, smiles contently, simply listening to the younger’s calming heartbeat before his eyelids drop.