“Is it time to get up?” I asked hours later, groping in the dark for my clock. “Is it raining out?”

“It’s 4 am. Go back to sleep,” Bom replied, and then padded out of the room.

I rolled over. Five more hours till I had to look like a happy camper. Five more till I had to plaster a smile on my face, telling Jae how glad I was that things had worked out with Jessica.

I turned over again and noticed the crack of light. Bom always sleepwalked to the bathroom in total darkness. But there was a light on now and it stayed on. And on.

I climbed out of the bed. “Bommie?”

I tapped on the bathroom door, and when she didn’t answer, opened it. She stood there with a towel wrapped around her, shivering and staring at her nightgown in the sink. The faucet dripped, dripped, dripped on the blood.

“It’s okay, Bommie,” I said. “It’s okay. I’ll get help.”

**

The big window in the hospital waiting room looked east. I had watched the sun come up, and then watched the cars turning into the hospital driveway, a few at first, followed by a steady stream just before 7 am. Breakfast smells rose from the cafeteria making me nauseous, but at 8 am I went downstairs with my parents. The 3 of us sat in a plastic chairs, poking at the stuff on our trays, each hoping the others would eat.

My mother reached across the table. “Bom is going to be all right,” she said to me. “She’s tough. She’s learned how to be tough from you.”

We threw away the food and went back upstairs. It was the first time I had ever seen my parents holding hands.

As eight-thirty my father telephoned Top to say I wasn’t coming to work. I couldn’t speak to him. I felt as if my voice was down in my stomach.

Later a nurse came for my parents. I stared out the east window some more. I started thinking about Siwon. I imagines him saying good morning to his wife, smiling at her, kissing her, and cheerfully heading off to teach a summer course. He had no idea what Bom was going through. The sun was getting high now.

My father returned and touched me on the arm.

“Dara,” he said gently, “Bom wants to see you.”

I don’t remember who told me, or if anybody did, but I knew before I entered her room that she had miscarried. I knew corn-muncher was gone.

“Bommie?”

She was propped on pillows with the sheets pulled up under her arms, her face turned toward the window. I didn’t know whether to walk around to the other side of the bed or stay where I was, allowing her to keep her face turned away from me.

It was too late to tell her I had planned to teach corn-muncher to throw and catch. It was too late to say I was going to be Super-Aunt, and she wouldn’t be raising corn-muncher alone.

“I’m sorry.”

She didn’t respond.

“I’m sorry about corn-muncher…And I love you, Bommie, for what it’s worth.”

For a moment, she didn’t stir. Then I saw her close her eyes, squeezing them tight.

She turned to me. “Funny thing…it’s worth everything.”

I put my arms around her and held her. Or maybe Bom held me. Somehow, between the 2 of us, we had the strength to sit upright.

“You know,” I said a few minutes later, struggling to speak clearly through the tears, “this is looking way too pretty. Let’s climb under your hospital bed and throw a temper tantrum.”

She opened as if she would laugh, and then she sobbed against my shoulder.

At noontime, the doctor released her.

It felt strange to be back in our bedroom, strange that it was just the 2 of us. Corn-muncher had become a presence even to me; I could hardly imagine what it was like for Bom having carried the baby.

As soon as she was asleep, I tiptoed over to the bookshelves and moved Top’s mama and baby panda bear out of sight. I left the kids’ cards, so Bom wouldn’t notice what I had done. She slept through the afternoon, while my parent and I took turns staying with her.

Top called at the end of the camp day. I told him the news. He said the third-graders had made Bom something and asked whether he should bring it over or wait until I returned to camp. There were only 2 days of camp left, and I was planning to go to work the next morning, but I told him to come over if he liked. I didn’t