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designer's note: It has it's problems, but overall, it's a great story! 
 

Valekissme 

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my blood is cold as ice

 

 

 

Title: 4/5

- The title didn't really catch me at first but I grew to like it as I read your story. The title really fit in with the story and it was really meaningful in the end.

Aesthetic Appeal: 6/10

- The poster’s simple and needs more details.

Description/Foreword: 3/10

- Alright lets get down to business! First of all, you need to fix your description. It didn't make sense at all. I know English is not your first language and I also took that into consideration, but it would still be nice if you attempt to rewrite your description again. I had to re-read the description several times to understand what you were trying to say. This is what I got out of your description: The main character’s name is Deunghae, she works at a company called InterLab and she receives challenging missions as her work. Second of all, the whole purpose of a description and foreword is to let the readers know what they are about to read. It’s supposed to tell them if it’s interesting enough for them to continue. Your description and foreword aren't that interesting in my opinion.

Characterization/Details: 10/20

- Your characters were very dull throughout the story. There weren't vivid descriptions of your characters and you need to portray their personalities better. If you didn't include a character chart, I probably wouldn’t know what Deunghae or Hyerim look like.

Plot: 20/20

- This is probably the best segment of your story. I love your plot! I like how you intrigue the readers with Deunghae's nightmares and the mysterious Mr. Park. I was dying to know why Deunghae had all these nightmares and who the stalker was. I wish you could tell me more about InterLab though. Overall the layout of your story was awesome! I love the ending! I will be looking forward to reading your sequel. ^^

Flow: 10/10

The story pace was fine. It wasn't too fast or too slow.

Originality:10/10

- "My Blood is Cold as Ice" reminds me of those spy stories. They have to complete challenging missions and cope with their feelings and problem on their own. I had read something similar to your story before, but I don't really care much about the originality because I believe this is your own ideas and imaginations that you work hard to put together as a story.

ETC: 10/15

- I am not a grammar person myself. In fact,I am pretty sure there are some grammar mistakes in this review. However, there is just way too many grammar mistakes in your story. I recommend going to a Beta Shop and ask them to correct your mistakes. I also saw spelling mistakes and some of the sentences just didn’t make sense at all. I really did enjoy reading your story and sorry for any harsh comments. I advise you to consider my comments more than the score. Sometime I can be too harsh or too generous with the number.

73/100

~BabyJAnne

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