~one year later~

Sehun was laying in his and his boyfriend’s shared room when he heard the front door slam shut. Instantly Sehun sprung to life and scrambled off the bed.

No, it’s too early for him to be back.

He glanced at his watch for confirmation, but even without that he knew he hadn’t been gone for more than two and a half hours. He ran out of the room, heart sinking when he saw what he didn’t want to, but at the same time had expected with such an early arrival home.

There, standing two metres in front of him was Luhan, red and blotchy as tears ran down his face like a stream during a flood.

“Lu, are you-“

The Chinese didn’t give Sehun the chance to finish, rushing past him and slamming their bedroom door shut. Sehun heard the click of the lock, and ran his fingers worriedly through his hair.

He knew this would happen, Luhan knew this would happen.

Sehun shouldn’t have let Luhan go, and Luhan shouldn’t have gone, at least, he should have let Sehun go with him, even if they’d had to pretend to just be friends.

He stared at the door for a good while, wondering just what happened to make him react this badly when really he was just trying to deny what must have.

Luhan seemed so broken.

Sehun lightly knocked on the door, before sliding down and sitting up against the wall beside it. He knew Luhan well enough to know that he’d just want to be alone for a while; he’d open up eventually, and when he did, Sehun would be there waiting for him.

Luhan stood on the other side of the door, sleeves tear-soaked as he remembered everything that happened in the past few hours. The names, the disappointed faces, it all hurt so much and every word that he replayed in his head just made him angrier and angrier until he felt like he was going to explode.

He should have listened to Sehun, he was far too different to their standards to show up, yet he did anyway. He didn’t even want to go, but he went and now he was wondering why he ever felt the obligation. He knew with one slip of the tongue he wouldn’t be welcome. That tongue had slipped and wow, had he expected correctly, but even the pre-knowledge didn’t foresee that it’d hurt this much.

Luhan stumbled blindly into the attached bathroom, grabbing the first razor he saw. All he could think of was how he needed, desperately, some form of release.

But then he thought about Sehun. Sehun, who if the door was open, would have already ripped the razor out of his grip. Sehun, who would have started crying harder than Luhan was just because he’d even considered hurting himself. Sehun, who most of the time he felt was the only beacon of light to get him out of the endless black ocean. Sehun, who’d done so much for him and loved him so much in such a short amount of time.

Sehun, who was less than ten metres away from him, waiting for him to open up.

Luhan threw the razor across the room, and he realised it wasn’t his one.

This only made him cry even harder.

Sehun wasn’t sure how long he sat outside the door, heart clenching as he heard the cries of his boyfriend through the walls. He could only hope he wasn’t doing anything to hurt himself. Eventually, Luhan’s sobs quietened, and all Sehun could hear was the feint sound of hiccups and sniffs through the door. Taking a breath, he stood up and knocked on the door once again.

“Lu, come on. Open up.” he said softly, hoping for a response.

He could hear shuffling, and then ten seconds later the door opened up, before Luhan nearly jumped on Sehun, smashing his lips on the younger’s as he wrapped his arms around his neck. Sehun immediately responded, arms wrapping around his waist.

Sehun could only remember two times where Luhan’s desperation compared to this, and if the pain in his chest was bad enough, he couldn’t even think of what the others would be. Thus, Sehun kissed back with just as much, if not more force. He needed Luhan to know he was there. 

Luhan pulled away, gasping for air.

“Sehun,” he gripped onto the fabric of Sehun’s shirt, “Just tell me, please,” he gasped, “I need to know you love me, I need to know that someone loves me.”

Sehun pulled back. “Of course I love you, of course.” He leant down to capture Luhan’s lips in a kiss, and found this time that Luhan was much calmer. Unsurely, Sehun pulled back so their foreheads were resting against each other. “Lu, tell me what happened.”

Not bothering to put up a fight, Luhan rested his head in the space between Sehun’s shoulder and neck. His arms curled around the younger’s neck and Sehun lifted him up, his legs instantly wrapping around the Korean’s waist.

Sehun carried Luhan over to the bed, gently placing him down and sitting down on the edge as Luhan scuttled backwards to the headboard, back resting against the wood.

Before Sehun could even mention it, Luhan answered the question running through his mind, and started on the others, too.

“I didn’t do it. I was going to, it was so tempting, I wanted to so ing much, but then I remembered you, and I couldn’t. I can’t stand the thought of you being disappointed in me too.” Luhan’s head was hung. “Why didn’t I listen to you, Sehun? Why did I ing go?” he asked, gripping the sleeves of his jumper.

Sehun stayed quiet, knowing that Luhan was nowhere near finished.

“They know, they ing know. My ing useless filter-“

“Don’t-“ Sehun interrupted, “-talk about something I love like that.”

Luhan bit his lip, trying to force back tears.

“Why- why can’t they love me? Why can’t they love me like they love my sister?”

“You’re not your sister, Lu-“

“Sometimes I ing wish I was!” the older exploded, fists clenched, digging into the mattress. “She can give my parents grandchildren, she can make them happy. She has a high paying job and some of the highest ranking contacts in the country. I’m ing nothing compared to her, I’m nothing. My parents already made it clear she was the favourite, but now they’re not even trying. They probably already ing knew and were waiting for the confirmation to finally get rid of me forever.”

“Baby, what did they say-“

“Worthless, they said I’m worthless.”

Sehun’s heart broke another time.

“Sometimes I think they’re ing right, too. I mean, look at me. I’m not exceptionally smart, I don’t have a high paying job, and I’m not studying to become a ing lawyer or doctor.”

Sehun grabbed Luhan’s hand.

“You’re not worthless,” he whispered, not sure if he could speak any louder, “You’re everything to me.”

“How? How am I?” Luhan pulled his sleeves up, revealing the scars that were long healed, but hadn’t yet faded. “There’s nothing of worth about me, look, look at these scars. Ugly, they’re ugly. I’m ugly, how can you love someone like me?”

“Stop-” Sehun swallowed, voice cracking. “Stop talking about something I love like that.”

Luhan’s eyes widened as he noticed that Sehun’s were full of tears. The Chinese fell silent as his boyfriend blinked them away, and realized again that this wasn’t just affecting him.

Once he’d regained his composure, Sehun stood up, taking Luhan’s hand and Luhan following until they were in front of the full length mirror. He silently took Luhan’s jumper off, discarding it on the floor, before unbuckling Luhan’s belt and slipping his jeans down, Luhan stepping out because he didn’t really know what else to do. Luhan looked at Sehun in confusion, before the latter beckoned for him to look in the mirror.

“When you look in the mirror, what do you see?  Honestly.”

Luhan's response was faster than what made him comfortable. “Ugly, I see ugly. I see scars and the scars are ugly.”

Sehun took Luhan’s right arm, placing kisses along his wrist where the scars were, two for each.

Luhan felt his eyes start to well up.

Sehun continued pressing kisses against his other arm, before picking him up and placing him on the bed. Before Luhan could react, Sehun crawled over him, leaning down and kissing the scars on his stomach.

Silent tears were now streaming down Luhan's face.

"When I look at you... Ask me what I think when I look at you."

"What-" Luhan sniffed, "What do you see when you look at me?"

Sehun looked into Luhan's eyes.

"I see... I see my boyfriend. I see pale skin and sharp features." Sehun trailed his thumb over Luhan's jawline. "I see curious eyes, and soft lips that I just want always want to kiss," Sehun gave Luhan a light peck. "Soft lips which spread into one of my favorite things in the world when you laugh." Sehun was now straddling Luhan, using his fingers to upturn the corner of the Chinese's mouth. “When I see you, Luhan, I see my whole world. I see the most beautiful person I’ve ever known, and I see everything that is important to me.”

Luhan looked away from the others gaze. “I’m not beautiful, Sehun. I’m ugly. Look at my scars, they’re ugly. How can you like someone like this? How can you love all of me when I have these?”

“Look at me,” Sehun asked, Luhan not giving in until the third time. “Because those scars are a part of you. Why you have them hurts and I don’t like it, but I can’t hate them because they’re a part of you. They’re not ugly because they’re a part of you, and they’re not imperfections because you don’t have any...”

Luhan emitted a dry laugh. “No imperfections? ing look at me, Sehun. I’m a goldmine.”

Sehun looked desperate now, like he needed Luhan to listen to him. “You’re wrong. Tell me, tell me what else you don’t like, what you don’t see as perfect?”

“Why are you doing this?” Luhan whined. There was too much going on through his head and Sehun was being too nice and he just didn’t know what was-

“I want to know everything about you, Lu. I want to know what you don’t like so I can show you how beautiful you really are.”

“Th-there’s no use.”

Sehun asked, eyes glistening. “Please, just do it for me. Please? Don’t argue with me.”

Luhan sighed, he couldn’t deny Sehun, ever.  

“…I don’t like my skin, it’s too pale.”

Sehun leant down, pressing kisses to the skin on his neck, talking against it. “I think it’s pretty, and it suits you. I like your skin, and I like the way ours are kind of similar but they also contrast a bit. I’m paler than you, Luhan. Do you think I’m too pale?”

“No…” Luhan mumbled, “It suits you, but mine doesn’t suit-”

“No arguments, remember?”

Luhan shut his mouth. Sehun stopped kissing and smiled. Luhan’s heart rate increased that tiny bit more.

 “…I don’t like my tummy fat, there’s too much.”

Sehun lightly poked Luhan’s stomach. “Tummy fat, what are you talking about?” the Korean leant down, placing kisses over his boyfriend’s abdominals and making him squirm slightly. “You basically have abs, Lu. Your stomach is toned, it’s y.”

Luhan was finding it hard to answer, his self-conscious being too much. What if Sehun realized what he was now?

But then Sehun, he was doing this for Sehun.

“…My thighs, they’re too chubby. They should be skinnier.”

Sehun moved down. “I think your thighs are perfect,” he confessed, kissing the insides. Sehun had done this in other situations, but it wasn’t ually implied today. Luhan couldn’t stop himself from shivering. “They’re healthy so there isn’t a gap, there’s enough there for me to bite,” he said, grazing his teeth along them, “They look amazing in jeans, but I think they look better like this.”

Damn, it wasn’t ual, Sehun wasn’t starting anything, but Luhan could not stop the waves of pleasure going through his body. Through what he was doing, but also what he was saying.

Luhan wasn’t the sort to accept compliments, but he needed to learn to love himself, and he didn’t know any other way how.

“…My mouth, I don’t like it. My bottom teeth are misaligned and I have a scar on my bottom lip.”

Sehun moved up and brushed his lips against Luhan’s, “Your mouth, it’s one of my favorite things about you. It’s where your voice comes out, one of my favorite things in the world. It’s where I can kiss you and you can kiss me back. Your lips are soft and they’re the perfect shape, even with the scar. They’re mesmerizing, and the perfect color. Your teeth might be misaligned at the bottom, but I have to admit,” Sehun began to blush, looking down at Luhan’s chest instead of his eyes, “I think it’s kind of hot. Plus, not many people know about it except me; it’s my limited access and it’s special.” Sehun leant down and kissed Luhan, the latter’s arms going around the younger’s neck. Sehun pushed down, deepening it slightly but making no move for anything that weren’t lips. He pulled back, so that his forehead was resting against the Chinese’s, lips just centimeters apart. “Your mouth is perfect, you’re perfect, Luhan.”

“I’m not- I’m not perfect.”

“You’re perfect for me, you make me happy, and you make so many people around you happy.”

Luhan moved back so he was against the headboard, legs crossed and Sehun kneeling in front of himself.

“Not my parents, I didn’t make them happy, I didn’t make them proud.”

Sehun took Luhan’s hands in his own, kissing his knuckles one by one.

“Well they don’t deserve you, don’t bring them up anymore. Forget about them.”

“I wish I could, but I can’t. They’re my parents, Sehun. They’re the reason I’m here.”

“And I’m thankful to them for that, but I’m not thankful for what they’ve put you through.”

“I can’t pretend they don’t exist.”

“I’m not telling you to do that, I just- don’t go running back to them because they’re your parents. They’ve hurt you this badly and they have to be the ones to apologize. If they don’t they’re not worth it, and you haven’t wasted your time.”

“Sehun, I-“

 Sehun’s face was the most serious Luhan had ever seen it. “Don’t let them hurt you more. Don’t let them convince you that you’re not the beautiful person you are, that you’re not worth anything, because they are so wrong. You are worth everything, and don’t you ever think otherwise. Don’t you dare ever think of hurting yourself again because you are the most important thing to me and I don’t care if it’s selfish, but I don’t know how I’d ever live without you. I need you, Luhan, can’t you see? Everything you don’t like about yourself is just another reason why I love you, why you’re so special. You’re not worthless, you’re not ugly. You’re perfect and you’re beautiful. I love you, I love you so much, and I will not stop until you get the love you deserve.” 

Luhan could see that Sehun meant every word by the way his bottom lips trembled and his eyes filled with such determination. He didn’t know what to say anymore, instead opting to lean forward and curl his arms around Sehun, enveloping him in a hug.

“Thank you,” he whispered, “I love you so much.”

Sehun turned his head and kissed his temple.

“I love you too, you know I do.”

Luhan smiled, cuddling just a bit tighter. “Yeah, do.”

“What happens when you go back?”

“What do you mean what happens? I’ll go back.”

Luhan wriggled slightly in Sehun’s hold, his back up against the younger’s chest.

“What happens to us?”

Sehun sighed, he wasn’t due to go home in nearly a year.

“That’s your choice. I’ve been thinking and of course I want you to come back with me-“

“Yes.” Luhan cut Sehun off, “I want to come with you.”

“- but I don’t want to ask you to do that.”

“Sehun, of course I want to go with you.”

Luhan felt Sehun pull him a little bit tighter.

“It’s a big thing, baby. Your whole life is here.”

“That’s true, but that’s only because you’re here.”

Sehun laughed, “Cheesy. But really, are you sure?”

“Of course, what am I meant to miss?”

Sehun rolled his eyes, “Your life, your friends? It’s going to be hard, Lu.”

“They can deal,” Luhan replied, set in his decision. “Plus, you are my life, remember?”

Sehun bit the older boy’s shoulder. “Stop it.”

Luhan laughed, “What, it’s true! You say you want me to come with you and then try to convince me to stay. Make up your mind.”

“Of course I want you to come with me,” Sehun huffed, and Luhan didn’t need to see him to know he was pouting. “I’m just thinking about you. It’s a big decision and a huge change, I want you to know what you’re doing.”

“It doesn’t matter to me, Sehun. I’m happiest when I’m with you, you make me happy,” Sehun didn’t need to see Luhan to know he was red, “As long as you’re there, I’ll be fine. I need to get out of here anyway, China’s cramping my style.”

“You’re such a loser,” Sehun whined, burying his head in the space between Luhan’s neck and shoulder.

“I love you too. Good night, Sehunnie.”

“Luhan?”

“Yes, baby?

“If anyone ever tells you that you’re worthless, just remember that your body is worth over 45 million US dollars on the black market. That’s a whole lot of money.”

“Good night, Sehun."

 Authors Note 
Er so that's it. Slightly different to what I'm used to writing, hopefully it's okay. Tell me what you think in the comments!
Thank you to everyone that commented/upvoted/subscribed, I love you a lot and yeah you know who you are :3

Finally I've started writing a new fic, which you guys can find here.
I've been wanting to write it for ages and ages so yeah, I'm hoping it'll turn out well :D It's meant to be comedy, not like this one okay ^^

I don't really have much else to say, so I hope you all enjoyed, and hopefully I'll see you all at my next story ^u^

Stay cool, guys ;)