<< Changmin's P.O.V >>

Chae-rin?

Lee Chae-rin?

CL?

I felt my heart beat uncontrollably. I felt guilty - No! Worse than guilty. Even guilty was an understatement. I felt my entire being tremble.

She came...

She saw me marry someone else... and I didn't even know...

She objected the whole thing... and I still didn't know...

She returned the necklace...

I felt a pang in my heart. I always hurt her... always.. But she'd always forgive and smile no matter what.

Stupid girl, I found myself thinking with a bitter laugh. She always smiled no matter how hurt she was. Maybe no one else noticed but I did. When I hurt her really bad she'd tell me it was okay, smile and dissapear for a while.. probably to cry. Did I make her cry again?

Of course I did!

I mentally banged my head on the cold tar of the road.

She would've beat me up if she's managed to control her tears. I laughed bitterly. She would've done a whole lot more than that...

<< FLASHBACK >>

We were sitting near the beach, arms around each other.. tightly wrapped to keep each other warm. Or maybe that had just been an excuse to hold her.

" When I grow up I'll do anything for you! " she had squealed brightly.

" Anything? " I had teased.

She nodded brightly. She could be so 'bad' yet so 'innocent'. So 'smart' yet so 'dumb'. But over all that her naivety won hands down! It exasperated me, dumbfounded me but made her all the more endearing.

I sighed.

" I want a huge mansion! " I said teasingly.

Her eyes glew. " Where? "

" Uhh... " I began. Not the reaction I'd expected so I rubbed my chin and said, " In America? "

" Where in America? " she asked brightly.

" LA, " I replied.

" What else? " she asked brightly.

I laughed.

" I want to live with you of course.. " I said pulling her close to me, into a hug.

" Are you happy? " she asked me in a voice so sweet I couldn't help but hold her tighter.

" Of course I am, " I whispered to her. But the romantic atmosphere fell apart when she suddenly pushed me away and laughed in my face with a very childish temperament. " Whaaat? "

" H.A.P.P.Y - Having A Pregnancy Per Year! " she squealed before running into the sand.

I chased after as we ran laughed like maniacs. Finally I tackled her and we ended up rolling in the sand.

" No, I am not happy, " I said smilingly.

" But if you're not happy Chae-rin's not happy... " she had pouted.

" Whaaat? You want 10 kids? " I exclaimed.

" Only 10... " she had pouted. " You're going to break up with me after 10 years... "

" No, " I cooed, " We'll be together for a hundred years! "

" A hundred kids? " she exclaimed with a look of horror on her face. " I prefer puppies... "

" Okay! We'll live in a huge mansion in LA with a 100 puppies! " I said to her with a smile.

I chuckled as her face lighted up. She might have been immature, naive, silly and idealistic, but maybe that's why I liked her. She completed me. What I wasn't, she was. What she wasn't, I was. Like two pieces to a puzzle.

I held her tight as we lay in the sand.

" You know... " she said all of a sudden. " You're parents are probably going to marry you off to some rich chick.. "

I didn't reply. An uncomfortable silence followed. One filled with knowing and understanding. Reality and brutality.

" What would you do if that happened? " I managed to choke out.

" Hmmm..." she said with a crease in her brow. " If the whole thing was against your will I'd beat the girl up. If you tried to stop me I'd beat you up too. And if you'd permitted i'd just beat you up. "

She smiled.

How could she smile after having said something so menacingly, I thought. And that made me smile too.

" Really? " I asked while stiffling my laughter. She always threatened to hit people, it just didn't work on me. For some reason, she'd never actually hit - ME. And I knew she wouldn't.

" Hmm... it depends, " she said without breaking her smile. " But whatever I do, I'll make sure it hurts.. "

" Ouch, " I commented teasingly.

"... but I'll still love you, " she had added with a smile.

I hugged her and we stayed there in the sand till sunset.

Well, she kept her promise.

It hurt... really bad.

And what made it feel even worse was the fact that I deserved it.

And what made it feel like agony was wondering if she'd keep the second half of her promise...

After all I put her through did she still love me?

On my knees on the cold tar road, I cried for the first time in years. For so long I'd been following Chae-rin's motto - "Tears are a sign of weakness".

Tonight, I thought. Just tonight.

With that last thought I broke down and cried, and then... nothing.

I out.