5 Final
By Your Side
Yixing seeks Jinri's arms for comfort as Jinri lets Yixing in on her heart again. It's not hard to fall back into the conformity of each other's company, it's not hard for Jinri to take Yixing back, even if he had pushed her away.
They sat in silence, side by side on the couch, and Jinri is not oblivious of the quick glances Yixing is giving her. He wasn't leaning on her shoulder and their bodies not touching.
"What is it?"
"You're really here." Yixing answers, it's like he's talking to himself than answering her question.
Jinri thinks she had always been here but Yixing is just too blind to see Unfortunately, Love makes people blind.
"I'm your bestfriend that's why." Jinri says instead, rolling her eyes at Yixing. That's the appropriate reason,
"I'm sorry." Yixing mumbles in a small voice, but Jinri heard it.
"For what?"
"For everything."
Jinri wonders if the apology includes him being sorry for breaking her heart. She doesn't want any apologies, it was like digging the remnants of the morbid past again so she forces up a smile on her face and asks Yixing to just treat her out to dinner sometime as compensation.
***
She plays the good bestfriend, picking up Yixing's broken heart and fixing it like a puzzle piece. The first few days, she spent cheering him up because Yixing is a wreck, this is undoubtedly the worst break up for him.
They're almost back to where they are before things went haywire, although they won't talk about Minah, because she is a complicated subject, and nothing good will come out from it.
Some times they go out with Chanyeol and Minseok, just like the old times. Though Minseok is giving her worried looks, a warning clearly, like this is all a dream, and she'll wake up one day, and everything is anywhere but fine, she tries to shut the thoughts away.
It's cold a Friday night and Jinri's at Yixing's place, they're watching Final Fantasy VII again. They're not really watching because they're catching up on Jinri's life, on whatever Yixing missed.
"I wonder why you still don't have a boyfriend." Yixing commented in the middle of their conversation, because Jinri mentioned that Yifan is just a close friend. "You must be picky."
The comment made her laugh "No I'm not picky." It's just that my choice is not even included in the options.
She ends up describing Yixing in vague definition, but her bestfriend must be too dense to recognize that it's him, hence he offered other names.
"Minseok hyung takes care of you. And he's pretty decent."
"You say you're comfortable with Yifan right? And he doesn't drink. And you also said he's perfect."
Yixing wouldn't get it, so Jinri gave up trying. She opts for the safe method.
"What about you? Is there any chance you'll fall for me?"
Yixing laughs, Jinri didn't think a laugh could be more torturous than that even coming from Yixing. The question is a serious one and she doesn't even find anything funny about it.
"There's a possibility that other people will fall for you. You're perfect in a distorted way." Jinri's face crunches at the word but Yixing smiles and continues." But I wont. I already love you but I think I won't fall for you. Why did you asked?"
"Nothing, just. Yifan. " she shrugs nonchalantly like her heart didn't just plummet into the depths of despair because Yixing just rejected her without him knowing. Even if he did say he loves her, it wasn't the love that she wants. Maybe he needs to apologize again. Then she thinks of Yifan, and his promise of being there when she needs him,and it's the first time that she wants to run like mad.
"Move back here with me?" Yixing suggests hopefully. "I missed my bestfriend."
The question is quite ridiculous, Jinri wants to laugh but she opts for a smile. Yixing just broke her heart and now he wants her back. Yixing could be cruel when he wants to. And as tempting as it seems, Jinri turned the offer down, because it's better for her that way, to build firewalls again blocking Yixing, and preventing him to break her again. She's afraid that Yixing would push her again when he find someone again. Moving back with him means allowing him to break her again and again.
'
"I couldn't stay under your wing forever. "
I'm not the one you need.
***
Yifan's good in keeping his promises, it was him who she runs into when someone whom she needs at that moment is the same person who she's running away from. Just as promise he knocks on Jinri's door, with a gallon of ice cream at hand.
"You might not receive any salary this month judging from the amount of deductions in the past" Yifan informs with a straight face holding up the plastic bag of ice cream, when a tear-stricken faced Jinri opened the door for him.
At times like this, she thinks Yifan is the luckiest thing that ever happened to her, and she's forever grateful to God for him. He's like the consolation she gets after losing the battle that she had been fighting all her life.
"Did you tell him the truth?" Yifan asks when they're both slumped on the couch and Jinri is busy shoving ice cream down . She shook her head, no.
"Then why did you tell me you're heartbroken? You chicken out on him again."
"No. No. I asked him." Jinri whines because she doesn't want to remember the scene again, but Yifan is staring at her to continue as it's his turn to eat ice cream. "And he blatantly told me that he won't fall for me." She starts dry-sobbing, tugging on Yifans sweater wailing "Wu Yifan. My heart! My poor heart." only stopping when he gave her a disgusted look.
"Maybe he needs someone to knock some sense into him." Yifan chimes looking at Jinri like she's the one he's trying to figure out.
Jinri's face lit up. "You're going to talk to him?"
"No. You wait for his enligtenment." Jinri's face fell. "Maybe you just need to wait, til his heart is fully mended, and you have to be there when the time comes."
---
the ice cream tub is empty and Jinri's head is now leaning comfortably on Yifan's shoulder and his arm snakes around her head gently patting her hair. They drown in comfortable silence until Jinri remembers to ask Yifan a question.
"Why are you always there for me?" She asks, Yifan's hand stops smoothing down her hair, not because it shocks him but because he's also pondering.
"Why? You don't like it?" Yifan retaliates resuming his handiwork.
"No. Just wondering. So answer my question please." Jinri places her hand on his knee and gave it a probing squeeze.
"Nothing. You're just too pathetic--Aw!" Yifan groans when Jinri jabs him on the stomach that he had to calm her down saying he'll be serious this time. "Well, you're my closest friend here, and I felt the need to protect you because I also learned to love you that's why. "
It didn't startled her, he really doesn't have to tell her, she just wants to hear it. She already knows and she loves Yifan in return. Jinri chuckles.
Love.
"Funny how you all tell me you love me, and yet you keep on hurting me." Beside him Yifan scoffs as he begs to disagree.
"Excuse me Ms. Choi. But when did I even hurt you?"
"Whenever I need to go home early cause I want to watch the live telecast of something but you prevent me from doing so because I need to work overtime?"
They both laugh in unison and Yifan whines because that is not a valid answer and Jinri is just refering to Yixing again and both of them stops talking until Yifan lets out a deep breath.
"They say the ones we end up hurting the worst are the ones we really love. "
Maybe Yifan is right, Jinri thinks, yixing did say he loves her but love could be so cruel at times. And maybe she just really needs to wait.
"I knew it!" Jinri exclaims exaggeratedly at Yifan,letting out feigned huffs of breath. "You don't love me. I knew it!"
The blond scowls in mock protest "That's out of question you ungrateful brat! I shouldn't have said that."
The banter goes on until they have nothing to say to each other. It's gratifying, Yifan's presence did brought her solace. The silence pushes Jinri to lean to Yifan and plant a feather-light kiss on his cheek.
"Thank you."
Their love for each other is different, it's the kind of love that doesn't hurt, it isn't painful.
***
This time, Jinri stays. She choose to remain beside Yixing, and they're back to their relationship long before. At some point, Jinri must have been waiting but maybe she really isn't.
They hang out more often than usual, at times Jinri would even sleep over at Yixing's apartment, she had long stopped to call it their apartment. Somehow, on Jinri's part, it wasn't that tormenting to be with Yixing even if he won't fall for her.
On a Friday night, they're in Yixing's room, she's plopped down on the bed as Yixing plays the guitar and starts singing again. At some point as she's busy staring at her bestfriend, she couldn't help but feel jealous to those girls who made Yixing cry. How special they are to make an angel cry and grieve for them? It was also tiring, how it was always her who picks up the broken pieces and fixes Yixing, only to have him smashed again by other people. If only Yixing would realize how hard it was for her than it is for him.
"What's wrong?" Yixing asks waking her from the deep thought, as he smoothens the creases on her forehead.
"I just realize something." She beams as It is not a big deal.
"Tell me what is it?" Yixing coaxes.
Jinri heaves a sigh. "I just feel tired, because I've done everything and yet you don't ever see me."
She hopes Yixing would understand.
"But you're all I see!" Yixing squints mouth twitching up into a smile before he proceed to cup her face and pinch her cheeks. Jinri almost face-palms because Yixing could be stupid at times. She doesn't mean it in a literal way.
The next time Yixing sings on stage, he's alone. It was voluntary since the bar allows some customers to sing at some days. Jinri remained seated beside Yifan as Minseok and Chanyeol cheers for their friend. She remembers how horrible watching Yixing perform in the past.
Yixing starts singing, keeping eye contact with her and it was then that Jinri realize, as he looks at her while he's on the stage, that maybe Yixing means it when he said that she's all he sees. Maybe this time it's Jinri's heart that he's trying to reach.
.fin.
***
A/N: done! :)))) but basically that's word vomit for you. :D haha. so i'd like to clarify that Kris and Sulli are really just close friends just like Harry and Hermione (sobs at the comparison) As much as i'd like them to end up together. i did promise to end it with Xingli or none at all. i wont be writing any sequel for this and this is really the end. i choose to end it here. ^^ the ending is quite vague and it doesn't really say that they end up together but it's a start. :D and even if it is not the ending that you're expecting, still thank you!
&& thank you for your comments. it was very much appreciated. i might continue writing my unfinished fics or write a new one since i have a plot again (YeY!) tho i'm not sure which pairing to use, i'm considering Chanlli or Kailli or Krisli. what do you think?
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