guhh so sorry for the long hiatus ;; college dropkicked my freetime like nothing else.. but expect another update over winter break! thanks to all old and new subscribers and commenters~ your comments keep me going!!

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dating jongdae is even better than kyungsoo imagined.

kyungsoo doesn't know how he managed, when his only contact with jongdae was to watch him from across the street or from 500 meters away through window glass, or hearing the sounds of his daily routine through the wall that separates their apartments.

it doesn't compare to being in the same room with him, being able to watch the miniscule movements of his throat flex as he swallows or chest rise as his lungs expand.

his eyelashes are long and look pretty when they flutter and blink. there’s a certain brand of shampoo that kyungsoo’s sensitive to now. it’s raspberry scented and the intoxicating smell of it clinging to jongdae’s hair is almost always on his mind. the way that his name sounds coming from jongdae’s mouth is one of the best things in kyungsoo’s life.

he’s done his best to get their relationship past the hiccup of their first meeting, and be a normal boyfriend. the effort seems to be successful, because jongdae doesn’t faint when kyungsoo’s around anymore.

sometimes it feels like even the arm’s length of distance usually between them now is too wide a canyon. he wants to touch jongdae until he’s more familiar with him than his own body, until their nervous systems are connected, because the man’s skin is electric and addicting. he wants to crack open jongdae’s brain and examine every part of it; dig around until he knows what makes him smile, makes him cry, makes his toes curl with pleasure.

he wants to possess jongdae, every part of him, and never let go, because he’ll never need anything or anyone else besides kyungsoo.

but it’s definitely too early to tell jongdae this. he doesn’t want to scare him off by being too forward again. it’s alright, because kyungsoo can be very patient when it’s necessary.

romantic comedy training comes in handy. he starts by greeting jongdae in the hallway every morning as he’s going to class, with a coffee and a muffin if he looks more pressed than usual. more flowers, too, roses this time.

after the second week, when jongdae stops turning so pale when they’re alone together, and kyungsoo asks him out to a movie, confident that this is a Normal Date Thing. his palms still get clammy like they never do when he’s stalking or killing. jongdae agrees, still looking jumpy. it’s alright, because it’s still early and jongdae probably still needs some time to get used to dating again.

(kyungsoo knows the names and addresses of all of jongdae’s exes, especially the ones that broke his heart. jongdae asked him not to kill them, but he still keeps the information, just in case.)

it goes well. they see some kind of action movie that kyungsoo doesn’t remember the name or the plot of, because he spends the entire first act working up the courage to put his arm around jongdae’s shoulders, and the rest of the movie being acutely aware of his body warmth.

the only small issue that kyungsoo has with the whole thing (and it is very small, in the grand scheme of things) is that he doesn’t get to touch jongdae as much as he wants to. besides the times when kyungsoo feels confident enough to touch jongdae casually, they haven’t had much physical contact.

kissing, for one. kyungsoo wants to kiss jongdae until both their mouths are numb but jongdae flinches whenever he tries to touch his face and kyungsoo doesn’t push it. he won’t lie, it is frustrating, but he’s sure that now that jongdae is more comfortable with him, and knows he’s not such a bad guy, he’ll open up when he feels ready for it.

kyungsoo just needs to wait, and jongdae is worth waiting for.