http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/64130/my-angel-yunjae-one-shot-jaeho-oneshot-sad-yunjae

-Story title- 3/5

I think you could have been a lot more creative with the title, it’s not very original, and I doubt I’d stop scrolling to read it based on the title. When it comes to titles, you can be as crazy and creative as you want, as long as it reflects the story in one way or another. However, it fits the storyline to a certain degree, but I have to say I find the title very boring. Also, you don't have to capitalize the word angel unless it's a proper noun.

-Poster- 5/5

I have to say that the poster looks amazing. However, there are a few things you could have changed to make it look even better. You could have edited the line that runs across the picture, and you could have placed your name in the bottom right corner. It can look distracting at times. What I love about the poster is that you can see the clear sadness/despair in the characters’ expressions. It looks beautiful and the background doesn’t look distracting at all. Good job!

-Description- 2/5

Your description is short and simple. You reveal that someone is leaving, without actually giving away who it is. However, the word sorry shouldn’t be capitalized.

-Forewords- 3/5

There really isn’t a lot to say about the forewords. Simple and you kept it short, which is just fine.

-Plot- 4/5

Your plot is not the most original one, but I can tell your story has been written with a lot of emotions. I was a little confused at first by Jaejoong’s words since I thought they were Yunho’s thoughts. I had to read it twice to understand, but once I did, it brought a sense of reality to your story. Since Jaejoong's death was so sudden, I would have liked for you to present us with a COD. With that said, this is the highlight of your work so far. You’re a great writer and I hope you keep up the good work.

-Characters- 5/5

We don’t get to learn a lot about Jaejoong’s character through himself, but we learn through Yunho. It’s obvious that they share a bond far stronger than what we can comprehend. Yunho’s character is warm and loving, though heartbroken. The hard decision of whether or not to keep living after your loved one has died has to be made and I think you portrayed if perfectly.

-Grammar- 4/5

When it comes to your grammar, there aren’t an awful lot of mistakes, so don’t worry. I know that English isn’t your first language, but your grammar isn’t that bad. Your biggest problems are punctuation, and the constant switching between past/present tense. Punctuation is crucial, no matter what. It can make or break your story.

-Writing- 4/5

You have a unique style of writing and it’s very enjoyable. Some of the sentences could have been rewritten, since some of them can be quite difficult and heavy to read.

Your minor mistakes aren’t that noticeable, unless you analyze the story. It doesn’t really affect the storyline, and your readers are still able to enjoy the story.

-Final thoughts- 3/4

I have to say that I really enjoyed your story. It felt real and your writing left me craving for more. I’m really impressed. I hope you will keep up the good work and I hope this review will help you. Reviews are meant to help you improve! Don’t forget that. Just keep in mind that I really liked this. I liked it a lot. Good job! I’ll definitely recommend it.

-Secrets thoughts- 5/5

I loved this part :  For new souls to be born... And others to be caught.

Final score : 37/50

Please ask if you have any questions or if there is something you would like me to explain.

Kim xx