2009

“APOLLO, HWAITING!”

 

Jerking their heads backwards as they jumped in their seats, the six girls cast their startled eyes towards the direction of the door. Leeteuk, Donghae, Eunhyuk and Kyuhyun had burst into the small room that the members of Apollo were residing in, surprising them with their loud shout of encouragement. Laughing heartily at the shocked expressions on the girls’ faces, they moved into the room with a devilish glint in their eyes.

 

“Oppa! You gave me a scare!”

 

“Oh! I was surprised!”

 

“I almost had a heart attack!”

 

“Why are you guys here?”

 

“What’s this?”

 

The girls exclaimed simultaneously as they admonished the four men for sneaking up on them in that manner.

 

“We were rehearsing our dance in the practice room upstairs and decided to drop by to give you all some moral support during our short break.”

 

Donghae explained when he realized that the others were still busy sniggering over the success of their mischievous antics. The room became brighter and cheerier with the entrance of the four men. Leeteuk’s unique laughter was especially prominent as it resonated within the small room.

 

Flashing his trademarked dimple at Hyunae who was seated on another armchair right beside Sunjung, Leeteuk squeezed in between the two chairs and plopped down on the arm of the one that his best friend in Apollo was seated in.

 

“You should have taken a look at your expression just now…”

 

He choked out, doubling over once more in laughter, ignoring the mock glare that Sunjung sent him.   He draped a companionable arm around the shoulder of the leader of Apollo, refusing to budge when she made a half-hearted attempt to shove him off the chair in return for laughing at her. 

 

Busy teasing his good friend, Leeteuk failed to notice the blush that was rising up Hyunae’s face due to the close proximity the two were in. It was one of the few times she had ever been this close to him. Heaving out a small sigh, she looked upon the easy camaraderie that he shared with Sunjung in envy. 

 

Will there be a day where we could tease each other like this too?

 

“Hyung! What do you think your arm is doing!”

 

Kyuhyun’s protest broke her reverie as his sharp eyes caught sight of the arm that was hanging loosely around his girlfriend’s shoulder. Hurrying forward, he plucked it up and fling it outwards, nudging his leader forcefully from his seat. He too, squeezed into the tight space between the two arm chairs and wriggled onto the arm of Sunjung’s chair, determined that he would be the only guy who would have his arms around Sunjung.

 

“Yah, yah, yah! Is this the way you treat your hyung?”

 

Leeteuk burst out indignantly as he was rudely shoved aside by the maknae of his group.

 

“Is this the way you treat your dongsaeng’s girlfriend?”

 

Kyuhyun shot back as he wrapped his arm around the embarrassed Sunjung.

 

“Yah, she was hyung’s friend before she became your girlfriend…”

 

Focused on the argument with Kyuhyun, Leeteuk failed to notice that he had seated himself onto the arm of Hyunae’s armchair. However, that absent gesture had become the center of Hyunae’s focus. She could feel her heartbeat accelerating at a dangerous rate. The playful banter between the two men became a drone in the background as her mind went blank at the even closer distance she now shared with Leeteuk. She had never been this close with him in the many years that they had known each other.  He was near enough that she could feel the heat that his body was radiating. One small tilt of her head and she would have come into contact with his back. Frozen in her seat, she was conflicted.

 

Should I move closer to him, or further away?

 

While she secretly wanted to move closer, she was aware of all the other people who were present in the room. Looking upwards, she met Donghae’s gaze and she felt her face flamed at the knowing look he sent her. Self preservation instincts kicking in, she cleared self consciously and subtly inched away, moving to the other side of her chair. Hyunae had no wish to bear the brunt of their teasing after this. Fanning herself with her hand discreetly, she tried to get her emotions under control, willing her raging heartbeat to slow down.

 

Though gratified with the Super Junior members for dropping by and offering them their moral support, Apollo could not afford to be distracted. This was the day where all the members would get another shot at their dream. The hiatus that they were forced on for the most part of the past year was finally coming to an end. Apollo would be making a comeback with this new album that they were going to record on this very day. This marked the start of a new beginning for them all and they were eager to present their best to everyone through this new album.

 

“So how’s the recording coming along?”

 

Leeteuk asked in general as he glanced around the room, an encouraging smile on his face.

 

“Oppa, we haven’t even stepped into the recording studio yet!”

 

Jinah laughed as she gestured to the room they were currently in.

 

“We were discussing the details of the songs and how we should portray them when you guys came in.”

 

Hyojung added as she pointed to the pieces of paper that was scattered all over the small coffee table the six armchairs were surrounding. Small words were scribbled all over them as each member made their notes on what they should be wary of while singing their parts. Their seriousness in the making of this album could be seen through the meticulous way they were going through every single word of each song. 

 

“What’s the genre of your main hit gonna b—“

 

The rest of Eunhyuk’s words were covered by the loud slam of the door. Turning around simultaneously, everyone set their gazes on the enraged man whom had burst into the room. He had flung opened the door so hard that its side crashed against the wall, resulting in the loud slamming sound.

 

“Manager oppa, wha---“

 

Sunjung stood up tentatively, brushing aside the arm that Kyuhyun had laid upon her shoulder. It was rare for their manager to be this angry. However, before she could even complete the sentence, the manager had marched over to them and threw a stack of newspapers onto the coffee table.

 

“What were you doing as a leader?”

 

He hollered at Sunjung as he pointed accusingly at the newspapers that had landed on the table with a loud smack. Bewildered, Sunjung glanced down uncertainly at the papers in question. Her eyes widened in horror at the words that were printed in huge fonts on the front page.

 

Apollo’s Kim Soo-Hei and actor Bae Chong-Ho bringing their love child for a checkup.

 

Apollo’s Kim Soo-Hei and actor Bae Chong-Ho’s affair not yet over with?

 

Apollo’s Kim Soo-Hei and actor Bae Chong-Ho with their love child.

 

All the different newspapers had the same picture on their front page. It was a photograph of Soohei with Bae Chongho and a child that looked not even a month old. Staggering back at the jarring news, Sunjung sank back heavily into the armchair.

 

Apollo was once again in trouble.

 

Leaning forward to grab one of the many sets of newspapers with trembling hands, she forced herself to read the entire article. Her mind was in a whirl. Her grip on it tightened as the content of what was written in it sank in. The article had revealed that Soohei had actually given birth to a baby two months ago- a baby that she had conceived with the actor Bae Chongho. The author of the article then went to state that Soohei and Chongho had never broken contact with each other, claiming that they were still seeing each other in secret. Photos, though murky ones, were also provided by the journalist as evidence of the continuation of the extramarital affair.

 

Closing her eyes to the words on the paper, Sunjung fought to maintain her control on her slippery temper. After all the pain she had gone through to fight for Soohei, to protect her place in the band, the defiant member still went ahead and did something detrimental to the band. Apparently she had not learnt from the scandal about a year ago. The sacrifice that everyone had made for her the past year was done in vain. She was completely unappreciative of the fact that they had sacrificed a year of their time just so to stand by her. The year of no activities at all had been demoralising for everyone in the band and finally, when they were allowed another chance at a comeback, Soohei created a brand new scandal.

 

Utter silence filled the room as everyone stared down at the newspapers.

 

“What have you done?”

 

Hyojung whispered in abhorrence as the enormity of the situation sank into her. Her soft words broke the stunned silence and as one, the other five girls turned their eyes on Soohei.

 

“I thought you two had broken up already?”

 

Minhee enunciated each word through gritted teeth, her softly spoken words was unable to mask her anger at the entire situation.

 

“What happened to your promise that you would steer clear of him from then onwards?”

 

Her voice rising in volume despite her attempt at keeping her calm, she sent a glare towards Soohei. Unable to withstand the censuring stares from all of her members, Soohei broke down in tears.

 

“I’m sorry! I didn’t expect this to happen again! I just couldn’t forget him! Besides, he is the father of Kwang-Sun…”

 

She sobbed as she bowed her head down in guilt at the trouble she had caused the band once again. Furthermore, the mention of her son’s name caused her to weep even harder, her shoulders hitching with her huge sobs. However, unlike the previous time, her bawling was met with stony silence.

 

She had gone too far this time.

 

Knowing that the recording session today was going to be a definite flop, Sunjung plucked her cap off her head and ran a frustrated hand through her hair. Even though she knew the other members were still glaring accusingly at Soohei, Sunjung was unable to dredge out any sense of pity for the girl. She was far too disappointed with her to feel any semblance of sympathy.

 

Sunjung’s uncharacteristic behaviour caught the eyes of both Kyuhyun and Leeteuk whom were silently observing the exchange. They were incredulous to see her treating her treasured hair in such a careless manner. It was a well known fact amongst them that once Sunjung had styled her hair, no one was allowed to touch it, not even Kyuhyun. Now, she had not only messed up her meticulously styled hair, but also left it out in the open in view of everyone. This extremely out of the norm behaviour exposed the turmoil in both her heart and mind.

 

“Sunjung, Lee Soo Man seonsaengnim wants to see you in his office. Now.”

 

The manager’s hostile tone increased the two men’s concern with regards to the quiet Sunjung. She was sure to receive an ear blasting for not keeping her member in line. Besides, after the previous scandal, it was her who had fought tooth and nail to keep Soohei in the band. She had only managed to save Soohei’s position as an Apollo member by promising that such incidents would not happen again. Now that an entire new scandal was shocking the Korean citizens, Sunjung had a lot to answer for.

 

“Oppa, I think you guys should go back first… We’ll have to… Settle this somehow…”

 

She murmured softly to Kyuhyun, gesturing vaguely at the other members who seemed rooted to their seats, their furious gazes never leaving Soohei. If looks could kill, she would have died a million times by then.

 

Exchanging alarmed looks, Leeteuk and Kyuhyun stared at the markedly reserved Sunjung, their worry for her apparent in their eyes. They had no doubt that her sense of loyalty towards her members would force her to take responsibility for the entire incident, and that was what that worried them the most. With one being her good pal and the other her boyfriend, they both knew that it was useless for them to comfort her at this juncture. She had withdrawn deep into herself and would reject all attempts at consolation.

 

Soohei’s unthinking action had just devastated Sunjung’s world once again.

 

Helpless to do anything else, they could only nod mutely to her request. Following them out woodenly, Sunjung glanced back at the tensed situation in the room and heaved a heavy sigh.

 

“Hyunae ah, take charge here for a little while alrights? I’m going upstairs to speak with Lee Soo Man seonsaengnim…”

 

Understanding the subtle nuance of the mandate, she nodded solemnly back at her leader, assuring her that she would follow her decree to the letter. It was essential that the members themselves do not break out into fights before the company decided what to do with the band. It might make matters even worse if word of their fight reached the ears of the top management. Dredging up a small smile to show her gratitude, Sunjung left the room with their incensed manager at her heels, his face as black as thunder.

 

Will unnie be fine with facing Lee Soo Man seonsaengnim alone?

 

“Don’t worry, I’ll go up to wait for her. I’ll see what help I can offer her. Make sure that there’s no more trouble from Apollo in the mean time.”

 

The last to leave the room, Leeteuk assured Hyunae with a comforting smile when he noticed her gazing after the retreating back of her leader. Giving him a slight nod in respond, she watched him hurrying over to the three waiting men outside the room before splitting up with them, with him hastening his pace in the direction in which Sunjung had left in.

 

While Hyunae’s worry with regards to her leader was assuaged slightly with Leeteuk there to support her in the battle against the top management, the strife here was just beginning.

 

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

 

Jinah shrieked at Soohei the moment the door of their room closed behind Leeteuk. Wincing at the vehemence in her tone, Hyunae glanced over at the infuriated girl. Tasked with controlling the situation at hand, she tried to alleviate the tense atmosphere in the room.

 

“Screaming at her won’t solve the problem, Jin-ah. Let’s wait for Sunjung unnie to come back first shall we?”

 

“Why must you do this to us again?”

 

Her attempt failed miserably as her words were ignored and Hyojung took part in the argument that was brewing amongst the members.

 

“I still love him with all my heart… He promised me that he would seek a divorce from his wife after the scandal dies down.”

 

Soohei wailed miserably as she continued to weep at the anger that was directed at her.

 

“Apollo had barely recovered from the scandal. We’re finally going to make our comeback after a year of hiatus and you’re doing this to us again?”

 

Hyojung snapped in return at the pleading look that Soohei casted around the room. No one in the room was able to sympathise with her plight this time round. They had forgiven her once and this time round, she had committed the exact same mistake. What was worse was that it rendered their previous sacrifice for her utterly meaningless. It was the worst form of betrayal from her.

 

“But… I love him… I can’t live without him…”

 

“Why do you always think only of yourself? What about us? What about Sunjung unnie that fought so hard for you?”

 

Even Minhee who seldom chose to involve herself spoke up, her cool tone barely concealing her ire.

 

“Then what about Kwang-Sun? What am I going to answer my son when he asked me who his father is when he grows up? I have to think about Kwang-Sun too!”

 

Before Minhee could blister Soohei’s ears at the self-righteousness in her tone, she was cut off by Hyunae’s gentle nudge.

 

“Remember what Sunjung unnie and Leeteuk oppa said? We’re not to fight amongst ourselves. We’re already in enough trouble as it is…”

 

Catching the small shake of Hyunae’s head as she tried to defuse the strained atmosphere with her soothing tone, Minhee huffed out a breath of annoyance and held her tongue. The one thing she hated most was the lack of ability to admit one’s wrongdoings. Instead of using her excuses to justify her actions, Soohei should have apologised sincerely to each of the member who will be dragged down by the new scandal. Unable to face her without blowing up, Minhee turned her chair around, back facing Soohei, staring at the walls stonily. 

 

 “I’m sure that Sunjung unnie will be able to persuade Lee Soo Man seonsaengnim… She was able to convince him to give us another chance the last time, and I’m sure she can do it again.”

 

Staring incredulously at Soohei, Hyunae could not believe her ears. From the corner of her eyes, she could see Hyojung and Jinah gaping at her words and Minhee swivelling her head round to glare at Soohei’s insensitivity.

 

Even though Sunjung did not utter a single word of complain or tiredness all this time, they all knew that she had put in a lot of effort and spent many sleepless nights during the previous scandal. Their responsible leader had worked herself nearly to death in trying to clear up the mess that Soohei had created and here she was, sitting nonchalantly in her armchair, feeling that it was a must for Sunjung to do that. She could have taken the easy way out, accepting the company’s decision to expel Soohei from the band, but yet she had chosen the hard route, fighting hard to protect her. However, it was obvious that her hard work was not appreciated.

 

“Do you know how selfish you are? Why must unnie always clean up your messes for you? It is not her obligation to do so. Do you think it’s easy being the leader? Why can’t you consider others’ feelings for once?”

 

Hyunae retorted as her tight leash on her temper broke. It had been Soohei’s fortune that Sunjung was such a responsible and caring leader. Otherwise, she would have long been taken out from the band. Expression stormy, she pushed herself out of her seat, too angry to remain seated. Hyunae strode over to the far end of the room, deciding to distance herself from Soohei before she lost whatever slippery grasp she had over her temper. Mindful of the fact that she was supposed to monitor the situation, she grounded her teeth tightly to prevent herself from saying another word. She did not want to say anything that she would regret later on.  

 

The room had fallen into heavy silence at the sudden outburst from Hyunae. It had shocked everyone when she had yelled out furiously at Soohei. It was just too out of character for her as she had always assumed the role of the peace maker in the band. Even though they had seen her angry and irritated before, it was nothing compared to this. She had never once blown up at anyone in this manner.  It was the first time they had seen her this enraged. Her death glare still had not left Soohei’s face.

 

Stunned into silence, the rest of the members lowered their heads and averted their gazes from the direction Hyunae was in. Minhee turned her head back towards the wall while Hyojung and Jinah pretended to take interest in their phones. Terrified by the fierce stare that was boring into her, Soohei bent her head down and continued to shed tears silently. Understanding the volatility of the situation, no one dared to utter a single sound.

 

This was what greeted the exhausted Sunjung when she entered the room after the meeting with their CEO. Halting in her tracks suddenly at the tense atmosphere in the room, she studied the subdued members in curiosity. Casting a careful gaze around the room, her sharp eyes missing no details, she threw out a question to the room in general.

 

“What’s going on here?”

 

Receiving no replies, she glanced mildly from the enraged Hyunae at one corner of the room to the quietly sobbing Soohei at the other corner.

 

What in the world had gotten Hyunae this angry?

 

Understanding Hyunae better than anyone else, she knew how difficult it was to irk her to such an extent.

 

If looks could kill, Soohei would have died a million times.

 

What else had Soohei done?

 

“Minhee, tell me what’s wrong.”

 

Zooming in on their maknae who was staring stoically at the wall, she directed the question towards Minhee. If not for the direness of their situation, she would have found her antic amusing. Only Minhee would prefer looking at the wall than at someone who had annoyed her.

 

“She refuses to admit her wrong. Other than excuses, I detect no hint of apology nor guilt in her tone. Apparently, she feels that she did nothing wrong.”

 

Taking off her glasses with a tired sigh, Sunjung rubbed the bridge of her nose tiredly. She did not have to be a genius to figure out who the “she” Minhee was referring to. Knowing all her members’ personalities, she was unfazed at the news. Soohei had always been the one who was more self-centred and inconsiderate towards the others. There was more than once when Sunjung had to step in to resolve quarrels between her and the other members. With everyone furious with her, Sunjung was not surprised that Soohei would be in her defensive mode.

 

“Well, whatever that it is, let’s just let it drop for now… Hyunae ah, just… calm down okay?”

 

Leaning against the door with a heavy sigh, Sunjung put her glasses back on wearily, her mind racing with the words that Lee Soo Man seonsaengnim had told her firmly.

 

It’s either Apollo be disbanded or we accept the fact that Soohei would be expelled from the group. Lee Soo Man seonsaengnim was adamant that there would be no more chances given to Soohei.

 

Her head aching at the thought of the decision that she would have to convey to their manager by tomorrow morning, Sunjung felt helpless. She was not even able to say a single word in Soohei’s defence during the meeting. The CEO was bound and determined to see Soohei punished for her continuous misconducts. Rubbing her temples absently as the familiar throbbing began once again in her temples, she cut Hyojung and Jinah off when the duo attempted to speak. Sunjung was not ready to tell them about Lee Soo Man seonsaengnim’s decision.

 

 “We’re all too emotional now for any discussions to take place. We’ll talk about this later on. For now, let’s just go back to the dorms. Today’s recording is cancelled.”

 

Ignoring their protests, she pivoted around and left the room, forcing the rest of the members to follow her. Her heart heavy, she listened to the sound of their heavy footsteps echoing around the empty hallway that they had stepped into. Will this be the last time they would walk this familiar hallway together as a band, as Apollo?

 

How am I supposed to tell them that we will all be placed on indefinite hiatus if we don’t accept the company’s decision to expel Soohei from Apollo? Or even if we agreed to it, the band will still be placed on hiatus?

 

The trip back was made in heavy silence as the horde of reporters began hounding them the moment they stepped out of their company. Unable to make any comments, all they could do was to smile politely at the dozens of lights flashing in their eyes and maintained their silence regardless of the degrading questions that were thrown towards them.

 

The nightmare had begun once more.

 

While they were dropped off at their dorms, the company van continued on with Soohei in it as she was taken back to her parents’ house in a different part of the city. She had been living there since her son was still young and needed her constant attention. Besides, the company would never allow her to bring her son into the dorm.

 

Trudging back towards their respective dorms, Sunjung debated over what to do with regards to the ultimatum that was given to them. Not telling them the decision the company made now was merely postponing the inevitable. However, she was reluctant to inform them at this current juncture as everyone was still furious over the trouble Soohei had caused once again. It would be unfair to her. 

 

When it was night time, Sunjung knew she could delay it no further. Picking up the phone, she dialled the number to Hyojung and Jinah’s dorm, asking them to come over. Then, she summoned the napping Hyunae and Minhee out to the living room. Gathering together on their dining table, Sunjung finally mustered her courage and told them the CEO’s ultimatum. Silence reigned in the room as the four of them absorbed the words in shock. Even though they knew the management would be enraged, they never expected it to be this bad.

 

“Even though it may sound selfish, but I would say we agree to their decision. At least Apollo would not be disbanded.”

 

Hyojung said firmly after pondering over the options for quite a while. Though she looked determined, the long while she took to decide told Sunjung that it was not an easy decision for her.

 

“I second unnie’s opinion.”

 

Jinah raised her hand hesitantly as she murmured her words in a soft voice.

 

“So we have two votes for going along with the company’s decision. What about you, Minhee and Hyunae?”

 

“I agree with Hyojung unnie. Regardless of whether we disband or stay together, the company is highly unlikely to allow Soohei unnie to make a comeback. This sort of scandal will remain in the audience’s minds for a very long time, even after it had died down, her image would be ruined in their hearts. It would be hard for her to continue as an artiste in the future. Besides, we had already wasted one year. An artiste’s lifespan is extremely short, with new competitors springing up every few weeks or so. All of us cannot afford to waste anymore time. At least without Soohei unnie, we still have a chance at comeback as the company might not put us on hiatus for too long.”

 

The usually logical Minhee reasoned as she noticed the indecisive looks on both Sunjung and Hyunae’s faces. She knew that the two of them would have a hard time making this decision as they were both too soft hearted. It was especially true for Sunjung as she felt extremely torn in between protecting the band, or protecting Soohei.

 

Heaving out a small sigh, Sunjung bowed her head down as she felt a sense of guilt welling up in her. Exchanging a look of helplessness with Hyunae, she closed her eyes briefly in sorrow at what she had to do the next morning.

 

“Well, since there is already three votes for, the majority had decided and I will inform the management of our decision tomorrow…”

 

I’m sorry Soohei. I’m sorry.