Fourth Memory
Airplane [LayHan Version]
Come with me…
The lights are blurring together, the feeling in his fingertips are going numb yet a tingling sensation is shooting throughout.
Airplane…
The airplane. Where is it? Is it still in his hands? He can’t lose it. It has his wishes, hopes, dreams and memories in it.
Love…
Yixing. Where’s Yixing right now? Is he here still?
The lights start to fade… a memory appears. One that’s much more recent.
The two lovers were together and were quickly approaching their second year anniversary. Love is the plane that they were flying and it had enough fuel to go around the world more than 1000 times. They headed off to college, and despite being busy and in separate colleges they were lucky to be close enough to visit each other frequently. Luhan opened up his heart to Yixing and Yixing felt that nothing could ever get better than the moments he shared with his boyfriend. Albeit, except, perhaps marriage to make them official partners. But it’s two days short of two years. I mean, who’s hurrying right?
Things couldn’t get any better, and as Luhan got ready for a date night the two had planned he felt himself losing his balance. The boy gripped onto the nearby dresser as a means to hold himself up.
That’s strange…
Looking at himself in the mirror he realized maybe something was off. He seemed a little paler… maybe?
Luhan shook his head as if to tell himself that he was imagining things and quickly resumed to getting ready. Yixing had said to be comfortably clothed and he followed his guidelines. Soon after, he heard the doorbell ring, but before Luhan went downstairs to let his boyfriend in, he continued with the ritual he started once they first started to date. Walking over to where he now kept all of the paper airplanes they made, he picks up the one that’s most dearest to his heart and smiles.
He reads over the words.
“Luhan, I like thin-"
He pauses, blinks and then shakes his head. The words seemed a little jumbled up. Did he really just do that? Well. Then again. That can be normal right? He reads again.
"Luhan, I think like you.” Smiling, he chuckles softly and sets it down before standing up to head down the stairs.
Wave of uneasiness.
Slight numbness in the legs.
Slip of a foot.
Falling.
As an instinct he grabs onto the railing of the stairs, takes a deep breath and shakes his head again.
He can’t be sick.
He hasn’t been coughing or anything.
He walks down and opens the door for his boyfriend, who stands there with flowers and leans forward to peck his lips. He pauses for a second and whispers for only him to hear.
"You look handsome, as always."
His lips softly brush upon his, the two sharing a sweet and short kiss, not wanting to make it very public around his family.
Luhan smiles as they part and takes the younger boy's hand before turning back to say his farewell to his mother that is smiling upon her son and how much he's grown up.
They walk out together and head to the curb where Yixing's car lies.
"So, where are we going?" Luhan tilts his head, smiling.
"Well. I wanted to take us back to a place that is special to us. And... I sort of..." He paused momentarily. Luhan looked upon his boyfriend and tilted his head more. He was worried, was Yixing nervous? The older boy moved in to peck his cheek softly, watching as the younger boy turned a little pink and chuckled nervously.
"I made us food. I mean, I'm not a good cook... but.. "
Luhan chuckled softly and hugged him. "I think it's splendid. And your cooking is great, so no complaints. Okay?" Yixing laughed and nodded, smiling as he opened the door for the older boy, letting him in before going around onto his side, starting up the car and then starting to drive away.
The two talked and joked around in the car, singing loudly to the radio and chuckled as they both would start to sing lazily to amuse the other. A wave of uneasiness came over Luhan who felt himself feeling off balanced. Instinctively, he leaned his head against the window for support and closed his eyes. Moments later a warm hand took a hold of his.
"You okay love?"
Luhan opened his eyes to look over at the comforting man next to him. He smiled and nodded, watching Yixing's worried features calm down immensely. Luhan's eyes scanned over his boyfriend's features as he started to play over their first meeting. He realized it was their anniversary in a few days and smiled to himself at the thought of how they've grown as individuals and as a couple.
The car drove for a not too much longer, coming upon a field that was a special place for both of them. It was where they used to fly their airplanes and was a favorite place to return to for the couple if they found time. This day was no exception and Luhan smiled at the thought. It was always a favorite spot for him, a relaxing spot where they could enjoy each other's company without interruptions.
As the car pulled to a stop, he opens the door and goes to step out, feeling his legs being slightly numb and tingling.
They must have fallen asleep.
He moves them only to be greeted with pins and needles. Standing and slowly moving while smiling, Luhan opens the back door to help take out the food and notices the guitar lying on the back seat, smiling he looks up at Yixing who realized the older boy saw it and smiles.
"I have a song I want to play for you."
Luhan chuckled and couldn't help but have his smile widen. The older boy loved to listen to the younger's guitar playing and even more to his sweet and soft voice. Grabbing the picnic basket and the blanket, he closes the door and waits for Yixing to come around with the guitar case, wrapping his arm around Luhan as he leads them over to a spot on the field.
Setting the basket and guitar down the couple set down the blanket and started to take out the food.
"Wow... you've really out done yourself." Luhan chuckles and picks up a small box that's wrapped.
What is this?
Is it for him?
He holds it up to Yixing, tilting his head. A smile plays across Yixing's lips before he moves his gaze downwards before taking it.
"Later. This is for later. For now, let's just enjoy our company, okay?"
The older boy blinks, nods and smiles before setting the box down.
Their date continues. An anniversary event of some sort. Yixing plays a song on the guitar. As he strums, he sings sweetly for the boy he loves who joins in at the end, humming lightly. The melody floats along the wind and as the night time draws near, they decide to do a paper airplane to commemorate the event.
Luhan watched quietly as Yixing folded the piece of paper into a paper airplane. He smiles.
Suddenly.
Dizzy.
Uneasy.
Eyes flutter.
He sways.
Falls over.
Numb.
"Luhan! Lu... han..." The sound fades away.
Yixing panicked as he saw his love fall over, dropping his guitar and catching him in his arms. Calling Luhan's name he quickly picks him up and does the only thing he knows to do - bring him to the hospital. Grabbing the small wrapped box, he sticks it in his pocket before standing, walking carefully over to the car. Opening the passenger car door, he slides him in, buckling the boy in. Panick stricken, he rushes to the other side and starts the engine, quickly taking off towards the hospital.
"." Frantically searching through his pockets he searched for his cell phone, finding it shortly after he calls the hopsital.
"Please... please. My boyfriend. He's.. he fainted... I.." Lip biting as to help hold back tears. "I don't know what to do but I'll be there soon... Please. You have to help him. "
As he's pulling up into the hospital, he quickly finds a spot to park, leaving his four ways on. Running to the other side he takes the limp boy into his arms and tries not to shed a tear as he frantically brings him into the hospital.
"Please... Help!"
A nurse at the reception desks calls overhead for some asssistance and suddenly rushes of people come out. The boy is taken from his arms and put on a stretcher, moving away from him.
And as he tries to follow? Arms pull him back.
Screams.
Tears.
Helplessness.
Yixing clenches his fist and falls to his knees.
Helpless.
Soon he finds himself standing up and sitting on the nearby chairs in the lobby. He's frustrated, angered, but mostly worried and nervous. The boy he loves is away from him. He was held back from seeing him and all he can think is how much he wants to see his smile, feel his touch, know he's okay. Immediately, Yixing thinks of Luhan's family and knows he needs to call them. Taking out his cellphone, he calls his boyfriend's home phone and starts to tell his mother what's going on when suddenly a doctor comes up and asks to talk to him. He bids farewell to the woman on the other end of the phone before getting up, walking over to the doctor.
"Are you the boy that was with Mr. Lu Han?" The doctor's face didn't give away any indication of if there was good or bad news.
The nervous boy nodded. "Yes, I'm his boyfriend. Zhang Yixing. How is he?"
"Did you contact his parents? How much of his medical history do you know? Does he have any vitamin deficiencies? Perhaps heart problems? Was he acting strange today per chance?"
Stuttering and nervous the boy answers. "N-not much." His fist clenches lightly. "I don't know much about Luhan's medical history, as far as I know. He doesn't have any heart problems or vitamin deficiences..."
He pauses and thinks. "But he was acting a bit strange. I thought maybe he had a headache, but he didn't compain about it. He was just resting his head on the side of my car.
The doctor takes a moment, going over the new information and nods before speaking.
"You can go back to see him, he's still unconscious but should awake soon. However, I would like to keep him for testing. Nobody faints like that without a reason."
Almost immediately the boy took off in the direction he saw them pushing the stretcher that had his boyfriend on it. He notices a nurse and heads in to see Luhan lying peacefully on the hospital bed, he walks over, takes his hand and sits in the nearby chair.
The nurse walks out.
The boy sighs and speaks up softly.
"Luhan. I love you. We'll get through this, you just have to pull through, whatever this is."
A few hours later the older boy's eyes flutter open and a barrage of questions fill the room. The doctor explains that he wants to run a few tests on him, and he agrees to stay in the hospital until further notice.
But then - time passes. Blood tests were run, symptoms were drawn. The younger boy loses track of time. He barely leaves his boyfriend's side, they even have allowed him to sleep there at times. Perhaps a day or two have passed when the doctor tells them that Luhan has a vitamin B12 deficiency and a thing called pernicious anemia.
"It's not dangerous persay. But, we just have to make sure that it hasn't affected other parts of the body. Considering your young age, we should have nothing to worry about, you'll just have to take vitamin supplements for the remainder of your life. Not a big deal though." The doctor smiled and Yixing let out a sigh of relief. He was going to be fine.
"So... am I allowed to leave... or..?"
Yixing noticed the falter in the doctor's smile as he responded. "No, not yet. You'll have to stay until we've seen if it affected the other parts of your body. I'll be back to check in with you in a few hours." As the doctor excused himself, so did Yixing, following him out.
"Sir. May I ask you a question?" The doctor turned back and nodded.
"Sure thing. What's bothering you?"
Yixing couldn't help but voice his observations. The faltering smile the doctor had, the vague diagnosis. If Luhan should be fine, why is he here? Couldn't his family physician take care of this. He hoped to be answered with something around the lines of that Luhan would be okay and that the doctor had just had a long day.
But then, a sigh.
The doctor sighed and spoke up.
"The truth is... Usually we only find this,perhaps, through other methods. Things like... depression or fatigue. But.."
The older man paused.
Yixing felt his heart drop.
"We found this through him fainting. I'm afraid that I'm more worried that somehow he has a more serious version of this and it can prove fatal if not treated properly or in time. If it's already affected his heart or perhaps even his digestive system...well... let's just hope that's not the case."
Yixing stared at the doctor, trying to process everything. "Is there anything I can do? Please. I love this man with all my heart."
The doctor shook his head. "Just let us run our tests and pray, that's all I can tell you. Pernicious anemia isn't a death sentence unless somehow we caught it too late."
As the doctor turned away from Yixing, he couldn't help but feel a wave of despair pass over him. Trodding back to Luhan's room he felt the box in his pocket. What was he to do if he lost the man he was going to ask to marry him?
Two days ago he was going to ask Lu Han for his hand in marriage and now he doesn't know how much longer he'll have. He shook his head, reprimanding himself for thinking so negatively.
He'll have a long life. I'm sure of it.
He has to.
Yixing looks in to see him asleep again, and he smiles softly.
"You have to pull through for me..."
But things don't always go how we want them to.
The doctor's couldn't keep it a secret from Yixing that in all actuality the worst case scenario had turned out to be true. The anemia had somehow managed to affect his heart and they were worried that he would go into heart failure so they wanted to keep him in the hospital for a little longer before they could figure out how to handle everything.
When it came time to tell Luhan, Yixing couldn't help but watch as the fear in his eyes became apparent. Luhan was afraid. The older boy knew that if they were right he probably didn't have too long to live and instantly he turned to Yixing who only shook his head.
Luhan spoke up softly.
"May I go to the garden... please?"
Yixing nodded, getting a wheelchair and helped him into it, pushing ho, along, through the doors to the garden.
"Yixing... we need to talk." He could hear the sorrow in his boyfriend's voice and paused, nervously, before sitting on the bench next to him, taking the boy's hands in his.
Yixing smiles, Luhan bites his lip.
"I love you Yixing. I do.. With all my heart." Luhan pauses as tears start to flood down his face.
Tears of sadness, of despair, of regret.
"But... I can't... keep you here if I'm going to die. I don't want to have you watch me die."
Yixing couldn't help but to stop breathing for a second. Those words hurt his heart. However, he couldn't agree to this.
The younger boy shook his head and took a breath.
"You're not going to die Luhan. And I'm going to be here every step of the way. I actually.." The younger boy pauses and takes out the box that he always carries with him now. "I want to ask you something. Something I was going to ask the night of our picnic."
He takes a breath and then slides off of the bench to get onto one knee, opening the box to show a ring.
"Lu Han. I love you more than anything in this universe and I can't think of anyone I would want to spend any amount of time with more than you, and especially the rest of our lives. To grow old and to be happy together. We'll get through this and we'll have happiness. So please... would you... Lu Han, may I have your hand in marriage, to be eternal partners?"
Luhan cries.
Yixing doesn't know if it's in sadness or happiness.
Finally, the older boy speaks.
"Are you sure? What if-"
The younger boy shakes his head. "I'm sure. There's no what if's love."
Luhan nods, crying more.
Now Yixing's sure.
Tears of happiness.
But also sadness.
And worry.
He slides the ring onto his boyfriend's finger and they share a sweet kiss.
"I love you Yixing."
"I love you more Luhan."
A moment of smiles before he speaks.
"Come with me Luhan. Let's go fly an airplane together with our hopes and wishes. Okay, love?"
Luhan smiles.
The memory fades.
Darkness.
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