The car ride back to my apartment was silent. Jongin took the initiative to drive me back home after what happened at the restaurant earlier. I was definitely still in shocked and loss for words.Felt like a complete mess, I began to broke down silently and tears started rolling down my face. Jongin knew I was tearing up and I could sense from my side eye-views that he kept glancing at me. Feeling embarrassed, I decided to keep looking out the car window hoping that I can reach home as soon as possible.

"Jongin ah.. thanks for the ride back home. You don't have to walk me up to my apartment."

"Oh no, it's okay ______, please let me at least walk up to your apartment at least.."

Without further ado, I sighed and nodded side ways, hinting Jongin to come up with me.

After unlocking my apartment door, I looked up to Jongin and thanked him again. But part of me doesn't want to be alone that night. 

"Jongin.. do you want to come inside? Maybe.. have a drink with me or something?"

"Right... you okay about that? I mean, I'm fine with it but if you need someone to talk to, rant to, cry to, I'm here.."

I gave him my half-hearted smile and asked him to come inside my apartment. Tossing my apartment keys to my kitchen table, I brought out 2 wine glass and a bottle of white wine. I need to have a drink tonight. I saw Jongin looking around my apartment while I brought out the drinks to the living room. Sighing, Jongin caught me and helped out with the drinks. My drinking tolerance level is somehow neutral, unless if I'm feeling down or stress or anything like that, I can go overboard with my alcohol intake. The taste of the white wine gulping down my throat is a beautiful feeling. I took a deep breath and began speaking out my mind. Jongin looked and listened to me carefully, with a focus expression. I began telling him how I met Junmyeon, fell in love and got engaged. I didn't even realized I was smiling painfully and tears started to fall down again. Jongin came close to me and wiped my tears away with his thumbs. That moment, I feel like the world's stupidest person ever. Why do I still hoping? Why do I still think about that jerk? After that incident at the restaurant, I mentally keep telling myself this is it. I stared at my engagement ring with my tears dropping at the ring. Do I still wan