La-la-la-la lightless ~

The song blasted through my earphones and I could faintly hear it from the background. The sound of raindrops entered the room, soon turning into a heavy downpour. And I was beginning to get cold. So stupid of me to wear shorts tonight. Ugh.

Sighing, I turned my head to look at the clock.

2:34AM. Great.

I reached out to pull up the blanket over me and made sure I was warm enough. I leaned my back against the bed's railing, closing my eyes. I don't know why, but tonight seems to be the hardest night to pass through.

Loads of things are running in my head like a movie on fast forward. From my life, my parents, my friends.... I shuddered at the thought. My friends.

I had one particular close friend though. I still remember his name, which was Kyung. Yeah. Park Kyung.

We were nine back then in New Zealand. We met when he sat beside me in a random rollercoaster ride. From then on, we became friends. Eventually, we got even closer when we entered the same high school and college together.

Yeah, you guessed it. I had a bit of the tomboyish side in me. I loved weird things and adrenaline makes me do the craziest things. In which, my parents would never understand.

They gave me everything they got, from useless gifts that I don't even need. Just because they're millionaires.

Whenever I showed the tough side of me to fellow relatives or their friends, they'd continue blabbering on how I should have the proper etiquette of a girl.

But I didn't give a damn. Because Kyung loves me just like that. Well yeah, I do have decent girl clothes. Occasionally, I'd use to steal some of Kyung's hoodies and huge t-shirts, but he didn't mind.

I used to call Kyung a cucumber because he had a long face, and I'd never forget how he'd frown cutely or poke me in the ribs whenever I call him that. In which he'd call me an idiot after that.

Wherever I go, it's always the same. The girls in the schools were either spoilt rich brats.. or nerds. The troublemakers who loves to pick catfights all the time but run like dogs whenever discipline masters walk down the hallway. Not forgetting the major flirts. All of them didn't want to be my friend because of how I am and how I'm always around Kyung.

I didn't mind if they talked behind my back or do things to me, because Kyung would always be there before them. He'd protect me from anything, including the smallest things. He was always there whenever I needed someone.

He'd never fail to do that. And I was thankful for such a friend and soon, over the years, I began developing actual feelings for him. I remained silent because I knew it'd affect our friendship. Plus I didn't want that.

Till I couldn't take it anymore. So what did I do?

I waited for the right time.

Until graduation day. Which is practically the worst day of my life.

He had told me his parents wanted to send him off somewhere, but Kyung didn't exactly tell me where. And just like that, he left me to survive for myself. Day by day, I had the little hope in me whenever I leave him text messages or voicemails.

All of them came crashing down when he didn't even reply to one at all.

Months passed. My phone stayed silent. No texts nor calls from him. You can pretty much say I went crazy at first. From all the crying and depression taking over, leaving me fragile inside.

Till a fateful day came and I gave up on everything.

Yeap.

I finally got over him. It hit me pretty hard, but I did it for the best.

On my 20th birthday, I had planned to leave New Zealand for good. My parents didn't give a damn as they didn't even bother to ask me on where I was going. All they know is business. Business, business, business. They're rarely at home and leave me with the stupid maids that barely even spit a word.

Did I tell you my parents had the highest expectations of me? They forbid me from doing all the things I wanted to do. They pushed me to study law in university, but I refused. That's where I endured it for so long and I finally got sick of it.

So yeah. Here I am, in Seoul.

I work in a small cafeteria just a few blocks down from mine. This was a good distraction from everything. Even though I wanted a better job, but I was happy enough.

Pain begins to seep in my head. I rubbed my temples, hoping to ease the pain.

I had been thinking too much tonight.

I frowned at the thought of having a morning shift tomorrow.

Time to hit the sack.

I switched off the small Rilakkuma lamp beside me and fell asleep.