Leeteuk took a deep breath as his body started to shake with anxiety.

 

“When you first told me about how your family would react to your pregnancy Seong Mi-ah, my heart ached for you. No one should have to live in fear of being rejected. Which is why I felt a really special connection to you,” started Leeteuk slowly.

 

“Because the two of you are married?” she asked sadly, still crushed by the news.

 

“Uh, well partly. We’ve been married for a few years now, so we’ve felt our fair share of resentment from others. But in the last year and a half, it’s been worse because we’ve been trying…” Leeteuk said, pausing to try and gain his composure.

 

Kangin wrapped his arm around Leeteuk and placed his forehead to his temple.

 

“It’s okay baby, just take a deep breath. And remember, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” whispered Kangin.

 

Leeteuk shook his head, trying to calm his nerves.

 

“It’s been worse because…we want to start a family,” he said finally.

 

He looked into Seong Mi’s eyes as she began to process what he had said.

 

“So…you want my baby?” she asked shaking her head in confusion.

 

“Well, yes, we wanted to discuss with you the possibility of adopting your son,” he finally admitted.

 

“…okay, so you thought by just buying me a hot chocolate and having a twenty minute conversation, I would just hand him over?” she asked sitting up.

 

“No, he didn’t mean it that way,” said Kangin firmly as he looked at her.

 

“I don’t even know the two of you. H—how could you just assume this would even be okay?” she said getting louder.

 

“We didn’t assume anything. You told him that you were planning to give your son up for adoption from the very beginning. What kind of relationship where you hoping for with the parents when you said you didn’t want any part in selecting them?!” Kangin asked, now getting agitated.

 

“Well I never thought that it would happen this way. I never thought that—that—

 

“What? That two men would be the ones to raise him? Is that what’s bothering you so much?” asked Leeteuk softly.

 

Seong Mi looked down.

 

“No, it’s not that,” she mumbled.

 

“There’s no need to lie,” said Leeteuk dishearteningly. “You wouldn’t be the first person.”

 

Seong Mi held her belly, rubbing it softly. It was the first time Leeteuk or Kangin had ever seen her really acknowledge the fact that she was pregnant in a loving way.

 

“Look, Seong Mi-ah. No one is forcing you to give up your son. Leeteuk just hoped that maybe you’d be willing to do this if you saw that we were kind people. But if it’s not what you want for your child, we’ll just have to accept it,” said Kangin standing. “It was nice meeting you, I wish you the best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy and schooling. But if this is the way you feel about the situation, we’ll have to leave you now.”

 

Seong Mi was  silent.

 

“Come on Teuk-ah,” said Kangin holding out his hand.

 

Leeteuk was really frustrated that she had yet to say anything, so he took Kangin’s hand as he stood up. But when Kangin started to walk away, Leeteuk stopped him.

 

“Just wait a second,” he said to Kangin before stepping closer to Seong Mi’s bed.

 

Much like the first time they met, Seong Mi was not able to look him in the eye.

 

“Just please promise me one thing,” he said solemnly. “I understand you might not care what happens to your son after you leave him. But do yourself a favor. At least choose a man and woman that will care for him, and love and nurture him, like he was their own. There are a lot of careless people out there and I’d hate to think he’d end up in one of their homes, all because his mother was too careless herself to seek what was best for him.”

 

Without waiting for a response, Leeteuk looked at Kangin who gave him a soft nod and then they walked away.

 

“Leeteuk-ssi…” she said softly, finally looking up, but they were already gone.

 

                                                            ~~~

 

The days following Seong Mi’s hospital visit left Kangin feeling very uneasy. The first couple of days Leeteuk was beyond devastated, which was something he knew how to handle. But after that, a strange calm came over Leeteuk, and it was almost as if he had moved on. He wasn’t exactly his cheerful self, but Kangin had no choice but to take his quietness as serenity.

 

“Teuk, how are you feeling?” asked Kangin that morning at breakfast.

 

Leeteuk looked up from his plate and shook his head.

 

“I’m fine Kanginnie, why wouldn’t I be?”

 

He settled back into his meal as Kangin watched him with a small frown.

 

“Please don’t do this Teuk,” he finally sighed rubbing his temple.

 

“Do what?” asked Leeteuk with a sigh as he sat down his chopsticks and spoon.

 

“This! This thing where you act like nothing happened. I hate seeing you depressed and crying, but at least that’s more of a human reaction. You’ve been like a robot for two days now. And I don’t like it!” said Kangin slamming his fist on the table.

 

“What do you want from me? I’m trying the best I can to deal with this. You tell me to be sad, and then you get frustrated when I cry. You tell me to be strong , and then you get angry when I’m stoic. I don’t know how to be—I’m angry, I’m sad, I’m frustrated! Does that answer your question?!” asked Leeteuk standing up from the table and walking over to the living room to collapse onto the couch.

 

Kangin rested his head in his hands.

 

To be honest, he almost hated Seong-Mi now. Leeteuk’s entire personality had seemed to change and he didn’t know what that was going to mean for them as a couple. But he did know one thing, that he couldn’t abandon him in his time of greatest need.

 

He stood up and walked into the living room, sitting down in front of Leeteuk’s body, and resting his head near Leeteuk’s.

 

It was quiet for a few moments as Kangin stared at Leeteuk, while Leeteuk sat with his eyes focused on the window.

 

“I just want you to be happy again Teuk,” he said softly as Leeteuk finally looked into his eyes.  “I just want you to find peace in knowing that maybe…it could just be the two of us, and that could be okay. I can make you happy again baby, I promise. And I wont stop until I do.”
 

A renegade tear rolled across the bridge of Leeteuk’s nose as he sniffled.

 

“I want that too,” he whispered.

 

“Then how about after breakfast, we go take a walk by the river, at our favorite spot?” asked Kangin with a smile.

 

Leeteuk nodded and Kangin inched forward to plant a gentle kiss on his lips.

 

                                                            ~~~

 

The cool breeze felt good against Leeteuk’s skin. He closed his eyes as he leaned closer to Kangin, who in turn tightened his hold on Leeteuk’s waist.

 

“I miss these walks,” said Leeteuk with a small smile.

 

“It is nice to be back here again, especially now that the weather is warmer,” agreed Kangin as they slowly walked along the path next to the river.

 

“Maybe we should move closer to the ocean, then we can feel this all the time,” said Leeteuk dreamily.

 

“Would you really like that?” asked Kangin.

 

“Maybe…but I don’t think I could leave Seoul. It holds too many of my memories for me to ever really say goodbye,” said Leeteuk shaking his head.

 

“That’s true. Seoul has always been and will hopefully always be our home,” said Kangin planting a kiss on his cheek.

 

They walked along a little farther, enjoying each other, the cool breeze and their conversation when Leeteuk’s phone started vibrating.

 

When he pulled it out, he was beyond shocked.

 

“Who is it?” asked Kangin looking down at the number.

 

“Seong Mi,” said Leeteuk looking at him.

 

“Don’t answer it Teuk,” he said with an obvious tone.

 

Leeteuk sighed, his thumb hovering over the accept call button.

 

“Teuk,” said Kangin pausing. “What ever it is that she could possibly want isn’t important now. Don’t drag yourself back in when you’ve come this far.”

 

“I hear what you're saying. But not knowing would kill me Kangin-ah,” said Leeteuk softly.

 

Kangin broke away with a sigh and put his hands on his head, gazing at the water as Leeteuk accepted the call.

 

“Seong Mi-ah? Is everything okay?” asked Leeteuk dryly.

 

“I’m fine Leeteuk-ssi, how are you?”

 

“I’m okay. I’m taking a walk now with my husband. Is there something that you needed?”

 

Seong Mi took a deep breath.

 

“I need to talk to you.”

 

“About what?” asked Leeteuk staring at Kangin’s back.

 

“Adopting my son,” she said softly.

 

Leeteuk swallowed hard.

 

“What did you say?”

 

“…I want to talk to you about your offer to adopt my son,” she said a little louder.

 

“Wh—what is it that you want to discuss?” asked Leeteuk, a little confused.

 

“I really don’t know if I can do this over the phone. Can you meet me?”

 

Leeteuk put his hand to his forehead.

 

“Seong Mi-ah, listen, you’ve put me and my husband through a lot of turmoil over the past couple of weeks. Everything in our lives has been altered because of you. I don’t know that I’m prepared to start all of this again.”

 

“I understand and I’m sorry Leeteuk-ssi. I just need you to know that the way I acted…it wasn’t because you’re married to a man. It was because you’re married to Kangin op…Kangin-ssi.”

 

“What?” asked Leeteuk, now completely confused.

 

“I don’t mind that you're gay. It’s just that…I guess I was a little jealous that you were married to Kangin-ssi. He’s so handsome, and I was a little heartbroken to know he was in love with you. …it’s really stupid and childish and I’m sorry. It’s just that my hormones are going crazy, and seeing how loving, and strong he is…I knew he’d be a perfect father. And after thinking about how nurturing and gentle you are, I realized you’d be perfect parents. So I want you to be my baby’s parents.”

 

Leeteuk covered his mouth with his hand as he crouched down to the ground. He felt like he couldn’t breathe.

 

“So, I would like to talk to you more about it, if you're still interested. But if you're not, I understand,” said Seong Mi.

 

“Where….where are you?” he breathed out shakily, making Kangin turn around.

 

“I can meet you at the same café as the first time we met,” she suggested.

 

“Okay, that’s fine,” he said softly as Kangin knelt down beside him.

 

“See you soon Leeteuk-ssi,” she said and then she hung up.

 

“What’s going on? What did she say?” asked Kangin when Leeteuk pulled the phone away from his ear.

 

Leeteuk leaned his head on Kangin’s shoulder and let out a loud sob.

 

“Baby, what did she say?” tried Kangin again as he wrapped his arms around Leeteuk’s body.

 

After a few more moments, Leeteuk was able to pull away. His face was the familiar shade of pink it had been for days and soaked with the same tears, but something was different, and Kangin could see it.

 

“Teuk,” he said cupping Leeteuk’s face, “what did she say?”

 

“She wants us to adopt her son,” he said with a weak smile.

 

“What?!” asked Kangin shaking his head in disbelief.

 

“She said she wants us to be her son’s parents,” Leeteuk said with a small laugh.

 

Kangin sat there in disbelief as Leeteuk laughed again, throwing his arms around Kangin’s neck, making them topple over onto the dirt path.

 

“We’re going to be parents?” asked Kangin still in shock.

 

When he felt Leeteuk nod excitedly, a small smile appeared on his lips, growing bigger with every second as Leeteuk continued laughing with joy.