Half as much
Depression"Depression" Taeyeon told me. "That's my diagnostic ." she added.
I was speechless, my mind was blank. "Taeyeon, that's..."
"A disease, Tiffany." she cut me off. "And it has no cure."
I frowned after hearing her last sentence. The way she said it, the expression on her face, that bitter smile, like she felt sorry for herself. I wanted to say a lot of things at that moment, but I didn't know exactly what, so I went closer to her and just pulled her into a hug, as if I could take away all her by doing sonething as simple as that. I wished I could, because that was all I wanted.
My lips captured hers and we shared a long kiss, which I hoped would make her feel all the love I felt for her. She looked at me with those oh-so-in-love eyes, and she convinced me that I could make her happy.
And it was like that for a while. But eventually, things changed. And then, at some point, nothing was ever enough anymore. Or everything was too much.
Every time there was a problem, her life . Every time she did something wrong, she was useless. And there I was, trying to make her see herself the way I still see her... beautiful.
Each time, Taeyeon repeated how nothing in her life was ever good enough. And I was a part of her life. I was there, holding her in my embrace, suffering at hearing her cry. But she was not hugging me back.
I felt so incapable, powerless, useless, just like she felt. Because it was me who was supposed to make her happy. I wanted to make her feel better, I wanted us to be happy together. But she only wanted me to be happy. And I had never felt lonelier.
We were sitting on her couch, alone, me on one corner and Taeyeon on the other, in silence and not looking at each other, hearing the rain falling over the roof and rolling down the windows, just like tears were rolling down our cheeks. There was nothing left, we had nothing left. We were heading to an abysm, and at that moment, we knew we were right about to fall down. Suddenly, Taeyeon turned to look at me, and she whispered ever so softly.
"I just want you to be happy, Tiffany."
I looked at her, silent, admiring her beautiful face once more. I stood up, headed to the exit, and I walked away, not looking back.
I had walked out of the darkness she had leaded me into. And I was finally going to please her about something: being happy.
I only wanted to be able to make Taeyeon love herself at least half as much as I loved her. But I finally realized, no love will ever be enough to fill the emptiness of someone who doesn't love themselves.
~
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A/N: Hope you liked it <3 That's another story based on personal experiences. My ex girlfriend was kind of depressive and that's how the turned out. Lol. I know probably you don't care so just ignore this and... leave a comment! Please? <3 Hope all of you have a great day/night or whatever time of the day you're currently living (?)
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