It's Never Too Late [1SHOT]
Description
An hour has passed since I lied down on my bed, closing my eyes shut. I shifted and shifted, trying to find the perfect position that would allow sleep to over come me. But still, I found no hint of drowsiness.
It's weird for me to be still in this state after Jonghyun and Sek yung decided to be just friends. I thought I will finally be getting the sleep that I have been deprived of for the last 10 months, to continue those dreams that stopped short due to the relationship that so publicly broke as many hearts as it can, including yours truly. But, just like the last 10 months, sleep is still against me, an anti-Key. It feels like something is still amiss. Something clicked but another unclicked and was..lost. It bore a hole deeper than the one it replaced.
Feeling suddenly thirsty at the thought, I opened my eyes and stood up, heading for the door. As I did, the light coming from the gap between the door and the floor caught my attention. I smiled to myself, knowing exactly who was behind the wall. I guess old habits does die hard.
I headed to the kitchen, to where Jinki was. He was holding a cup of coffee while sitting on one of the chairs that lined the edges of the dining table. He was staring intently on nothing in particular, just as if he was observing the air.
He looked at me when I appeared in his peripheral vision.He stared at my face, searching for who-knows-what. After about a minute or so, he returned to his previous business, spacing out once again.
What the hell was that about?
I walked towards where the glasses were and got one. I opened the fridge, which was directly behind him, fetched the pitcher and half-filled my glass. I looked at the back of his head before closing the door of the fridge, hoping clues will pop out and explain this behavior.
Of course, none went through.
I sat down on the chair directly across him, cutting his line of vision so he was unwillingly staring at me instead. I put down my drink and squinted at him. He didn't move nor did he made any noise. He just looked back at me silently.
This is so not him. Normally, he would smile at me brightly, making me wonder that maybe he is the Sun on Earth. He would always ask me why I couldn't sleep eventhough he is fully aware of what or who the reason is. He would usually stand behind me and massage my shoulders, telling me to calm down which was so damn effective, by the way.
I don't know why today is different, though. As far as I know, there was nothing really special about today. Well, except for the news of the break up, it was an empty leaf.
We stayed in that position for about 2 minutes, probably longer, before he blinked causing me to mimic him, realizing that water was beginning to play along the edges of my eyes.
"I won." I told him, a smile plastered on my Almighty face. His expression turned questioning, raising his right eyebrow.
"Wasn't this a staring contest?" I asked jokingly, trying to lift this solemn mood. He swayed his head side-to-side, ignoring my efforts.
My smile faltered into a frown.
"What's wrong with you, Jinki?" I asked, finally pissed. His gaze softened and turned apologetic before looking down at his hand on the table. I guess trying to hide his face which will quickly give away the lie. "Sorry. It's nothing, really."
"Reserve that lie for the rest, Lee Jinki. That won't work on me. So shoot." I said sternly. I never liked people lying to my face especially when I caught them red-handed.
He remained in his position, not uttering anything. Completely statue-like, looks included. He stayed like that for what seemed like eternity. Sleepiness threatening to creep up upon me in each and every second being dragged into silence.
"Fine. Have fun keeping that to yourself." I said, wrapping my voice in sarcasm, my patience all used up and battered. I stood up and turned for the door to one of the bedrooms, leaving him with his coffee and my untouched, half-filled glass.
"Are you happy?" He asked suddenly, stopping me on my tracks. I turned to face him. He had 2 pink blushes on either of his cheeks but his eyes were filled with determination.
"Wh-what?" I stuttered, immediately cursing myself for doing so.
He stood up and made 3 strides to stand in front of me, his face only inches from mine. He looked down at me, once again burning me with his stare, making my heart bang in its cage. He leaned forward, loosing the gap between our noses, breathing the air as one. He again leaned forward, this time erasing the gap between our lips. I closed my eyes, feeling his soft lips moving against mine, innocent butperfect. It was not a kiss filled with lust. Instead, it was embarked with a feeling like...love. I opened my eyes wide with realization as it hit me.I broke the kiss gently, wanting to question him but he was faster in finding his voice.
"I'm sorry, really. I know I shouldn't have done that but it was the only way to show you how much I care and love you because despite my efforts, you never seemed aware of me and my feelings' presence." He said with sincerity all over the words. Surprisingly, what he said didn't shock me. It was like I was waiting for this.
"Why only now?" I asked with a hoarse voice, regretting not drinking the water on the table earlier. My heart still working hard on trying to be normal.
He took one deep breath before answering my question. "I have been trying to tell you all those nights that we were alone but each and every chance I got was crushed by your love for him despite him having a girlfriend."
He was right. I was always talking about my love and my broken heart. I even remember myself crying in Jinki's arms several times only to wake up in my bed the next morning. There were even nights when I return home drunk, finding Jinki waiting for me with his sleepy eyes. He would make chicken soup for me the next day for my hangover.I'm sure there are a lot more of his martyrdom for me but unfortunately, my retention was limited.
"Sorry." I mumbled guiltily.
"No. If somebody needs to apologize, that would be me. I know I am too late. With Jonghyun's break-up with Sek yung, the possibility of you and him is at the peak--at the peak of coming true and at the peak of my fear. Thinking of you being with him scares me like hell. It held me clumsier, more reckless. The only solution I see is to confess, giving you the choice." A parade of emotions followed each of his words. I didn't know what to say. My mind was so busy buzzing that Jinki could probably hear it.
"Please say something, you're killing me with the silence." He practically begged.
"So...are trying to ask me on spot? As in now?" I finally found my voice. Thank God for will.
"Not really, I just wanted to confess for now. I'll be waiting when the time comes that you're ready. But Key, please don't take too long. You might find me one day, out of my mind, and all that will be your fault." He said seriously.
"Okaaaay." I said awkwardly, looking at my feet.
"Key?" I looked up at him again. He cupped my face in his palms, holding my gaze right in place. The contact and proximity making my heart race a million miles. "Please don't get awkward around me." He whispered fanning me with his breath. He removed his hands from my face, giving my heart the privilege of having a normal heartbeat again. "Goodnight." He smiled and entered the door to his bedroom shared with Jonghyun.
So that night was not meant for sleeping but procrastinating. I can't imagine I spent my entire night thinking about his question.
"Are you happy?"
Well, guess what? You just made me. (:
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© Rhaine
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