You Seem So Strong
Believe Me
We were allowed back at school the following week. Undoubtedly, we were stared at by our peers. All that went through the halls as we passed them were whispers. I could tell all the attention made Taemin uncomfortable; he wasn't used to being in the center of things like I was. I always whispered to him to ignore them and he tried his hardest to do so.
When we had to part ways at the end of every day, I would kiss him and tell him to be strong. I let him know that I was just a phone call away if he needed me. People eventually stopped giving us so much attention and went about their lives as they had been before we got suspended.
As I left school with Taemin one afternoon, there was a group of guys in the student parking lot gathered by my car. I knew what was about to happen. I knew it was time for me to take action. He hadn't looked up from his novel to notice the guys. I dramatically snatched my hand out of his and stopped walking.
"Walk home," I told Taemin coldly.
"Huh?" He was obviously confused.
"Walk home," I said more slowly and started pushing him in the opposite direction of the parking lot.
He grabbed my wrist, panicking. "What's wrong? What did I do?" The worry in his voice was killing me.
"Please just go home," I half begged. "I'll explain tomorrow, I promise."
He reluctantly agreed. I kissed him as a sort of act of defiance because I knew all those guys were watching me and waiting. I watched him cross the street, heading home. I took a deep breath before going to my car with my head held high.
"You're in my way," I stated to the people blocking my door.
Jonghyun, standing at the front of the crowd, grabbed the collar of my shirt and threw my to the ground. I got back up quickly and all hell broke loose. I was doing fine handling just Jonghyun, but then his cronies decided to jump in and help. The last thing I remembered before blacking out was being curled up on the concrete, alone and coughing up blood.
I awoke in that same spot, except it was nighttime and my car was gone. I walked a few blocks to my mom's apartment building. I went in to find that she wasn't home. I got in my bed, too exhausted to do anything else, but I couldn't go to sleep. I stayed awake until seven the next morning.
I got ready for school and then headed out without breakfast; strangely enough, I wasn't hungry. I walked to school that morning and searched for Taemin until the bell rang to go to class. I went to his first class to check whether he was here or not. I decided to skip school when I saw that he wasn't in class.
I walked to Taemin's house and climbed in his room through his window like I always did. I saw him laying in bed and assumed he must've been sick. I crawled into bed with him and put my arm around his waist. I made sure not to wake him.
After some time, Taemin woke up. He woke up crying for me.
"I'm here, love," I told him. "Please don't cry."
He sat up in bed and ran his fingers through his hair. He cried harder and called for me louder. I didn't understand; I was right there beside him.
"Taemin," I called him and grabbed his wrist.
He slammed his fists down at his sides and screamed. "Why did you leave me, Key?" He asked. "I need you!"
"I don't understand!" I yelled. "What's going on, Taemin? Look at me!" I commanded.
He curled up into a ball beside me and sobbed. I couldn't figure out why he was ignoring. Couldn't he feel me touching him and trying to comfort him? He pulled a crumpled up newspaper article from under his pillow and held it in his trembling hand. My breath caught in my throat when I read the headline.
Local Highschool Student Killed
Underneath was my yearbook picture. I began to read the article beside the picture.
17 year old Kim Kibum was found dead last night in the parking lot of Rainier High School. He had recieved many blows to his face, ribs, and other vital body parts. Many of the hits taken were fatal.
After watching footage from the parking lot security camera, it was revealed that a group of eight boys had waited for Kibum at his car. The leader of this group seemed to be Kim Jonghyun whose father is currently a respected government official in Seoul.
Taemin's tears falling onto the paper prevented me from reading any further. I sat staring, trying to comprehend what was going on. I was dead. That's why Taemin couldn't see or hear me. That's why he couldn't feel me trying to comfort him.
I got up from my spot on the bed and left out of the open window. I watched the sun rise and set at least twice while I wandered around Seoul before making my way back to Taemin's house. Just like before I left, Taemin was still in his bed crying. I took my position beside him and cried right along with him. I had failed Taemin, and that was the last thing I wanted to do. I had spent so much time reassuring him that everything would be alright, but look at what happened.
Taemin's mother brought him some tea that was supposed to help him sleep. Apparently he had been up since he got the news. He stared at the cup and just held it in his lap. The droopy look in his eyes told me he was sleepy, but he was fighting it for some reason. I placed my arm around his shoulder.
"Why won't you drink your tea, Taemin?"
He just shook his head. "I can't go to sleep. I have to wait for Kibum."
Didn't he understand I wasn't coming back. I was dead, and that was it. There was no point I'm waiting for me anymore. I could feel anger building up inside of me. He might as well start moving on to someone new right now.
"Lee Taemin if you don't drink that tea right now, I swear," I started to threaten him, but stopped when he put the cup to his lips.
I smiled triumphantly and laid back on Taemin's pillow with my arms stretched out. Taemin had calmed down some, and his sobbing turned to sniffling. I watched him rubbing his eyes and yawning. He laid on my arm and started to fall asleep. I sighed sadly and just watched the boy beside me. I hadn't even gotten to say goodbye.
"I love you, Taemin. I love you so much." I said and kissed his forehead.
A smile appeared on the boy's face while he slept and he snuggled closer to me. I could feel myself deteriorating, but I smiled too because as I faded away, the last thing I saw was a peaceful Taemin.
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