I smiled at him, smiling as much as I could. He was still putting clothes in his suitcase, folding them carefully. He probably felt my gaze on him because he turned his head, smiling with the same intensity than me.

 

-Don't worry Hyukjae, he told me. I'll be back before you even know it.

-I know. I'll miss you.

 

He smiled and walked up to me, hugging me tightly. I answer it, hiding my nose in his hair. He kissed my forehead before heading back to his suitcase, finishing it up before closing it firmly and putting it on the ground.

 

-I'm only leaving only tomorrow morning, though, he said. Wanna stay for the night?

-Yeah.

 

Donghae was leaving to study in a college he wanted to go to for a long time, and it just happened we started dating a month before he received his letter of acceptance. It had been hard for him to tell me about it, scared of what my reaction would be. Even if I was genuinely happy for him, the day of his departure was still hard to accept. I didn't want to hold him back, I knew he wanted this. I was scared, though. I didn't want him to forget about me.

 

He pulled me toward his bed, made me climb on it and lay on his side. I did the same, smiling a little more frankly.

 

-Don't worry, Hyukjae.

-I'll miss you.

-I'll miss you too. A lot.

 

He kissed my forehead again, then my nose, then, tenderly, my lips. I answered it as lovingly as I could, trying to show I much I loved him in one kiss. We were holding hands, staying close to one another. He smiled.

 

-Will you come to the airport with me, he asked me softly.

-Sure.

 

He left the next day, giving me a big hug while promising he would call me when he would be able to. I nodded and told him I loved him. Seeing him leave was hard, but I still smiled. I was scared, so scared.

 

Donghae had always been more popular than me. While I was good looking, enough to have a few ex-boyfriends, he was beyond gorgeous. He had his good share of ex-lovers too, and though I almost knew nothing of him, never talked to him before, I confessed a few weeks after his last relationship ended. That confession had been my first, and though I did love all of those before him, I've never been this nervous around someone before. My confession had been so horrible, me stuttering so, I still wonder how he understood what I had said.

 

I mentally slapped myself for being that incompetent. I was avoiding looking at him, still embarrassed by the way I had told him I was in love with him for a while now and if he could, even if he had been through a break up not so long ago, give me a chance. Feeling dumb, I shook my head and smiled, laughing it up.

 

-I...I'm sorry, I'll...I'll just leave now, I said.

 

I turned around and was about to run away when he grabbed my arm and pulled me back lightly, enough to stop me and make his head appear next to mine. I started to blush, still looking down.

 

-Hey! Wait for me to answer!

 

He turned me slightly and lowered his head so I was able to see his smile.

 

-I'd be happy to “give you a chance”, like you said. What about Saturday?

-Yea...yeah!

-Can you give me your number?

 

I nodded quickly and gave it to him, writing it in his cellphone. He then asked me my cellphone and added his own number, smiling before giving it back to me.

 

-See you Saturday then, Hyukjae!

 

And he started to date me. Not only did he gave me a chance, he was the one to ask a second date. He said he loved talking with me, and though it took a little more than two dates to officially go out together, even today, I still can't believe he didn't think I was lame or something. He was so popular, handsome and sweet, I was so scared for him to be away. Maybe he'll leave me for someone better? Maybe he'll find out I'm not that great and leave me? It can happen, he is so much more than I thought I deserved.

 

It has been a month now since Donghae left and it is getting hard on me. I knew he would be too busy to call a lot, but I had almost no news of him. I was pretty much wondering around most nights, wondering if he was okay, if he was happy where he was, and mostly, if he thought of me sometimes. My worries from the first day he left only became worst, only hearing from him through e-mails he would send me sometimes.

 

A picture of him was hanging on the fridge, one I took myself without him noticing at first. I missed him so much. Seeing him sitting on the couch of my apartment, looking through my DVDs to watch one together made my loneliness come back in a rush, and without thinking, I walked to my room, grabbed the phone, jumped on my bed and called the number of his residence, where he was living during his studies. They transfered me to his room. One ring. Two. Three. Voicemail.

 

-Hello! You reached Lee Donghae, but I'm not here for the moment. Please leave a message and I'll call you as soon as I can!

 

Feeling stupid to call, I hung up and threw the phone further away on my bed. I sighed. I missed him so much. I missed his smiles, his laughter, his eyes, his lips, his voice...everything. It was so hard to forget him, even for a moment, and the less I heard about him, the more I was lonely and the more I wanted to rush into the first airplane and see him.

 

The phone started ringing.

 

-Hello?

-Hyukkie? It's me!

-H...Hae!

 

I sounded so desperate and happy to hear him through the phone, he chuckled lightly.

 

-You just called, right?

-Well...I...I just...

-I'm sorry I missed it, I just came back from class. So much is happening, I'm having a hard time to keep my time under control. I think I'm getting the hang of it now, so I'm going to keep some time everyday just to call you.

 

I grabbed the closest pillow and hugged it, smiling foolishly only because it was his voice.

 

-I miss you, I said without thinking.

-Me too. I really wanted to call you so many times, but I know you are working hard too and I didn't want to wake you up in the middle of the night only for a little call.

-I don't care. You can call whenever you feel like it. Even in the middle of the night.

 

He chuckled again. I hold on to my pillow even harder.

 

-Of course you would say that. You are too sweet for your own good, Hyukkie.

-I love you. I miss you.

-And I love you and miss you too. So much.

-How is school?

-Great! It's hard, but in a good way. It's really challenging and I love it. I wish I could show you around, I'm sure you would love it too.

 

There was some noise in the background, then a voice. I tensed up, afraid. The voice was male, and sounded so incredible. It was soothing, low and perfect. Why...

 

-Who are you talking to, Donghae, asked the unknown voice.

-Go away, I'm talking to my boyfriend. Never heard of privacy?

 

A big smile appeared on my face.

 

-Who was that?

-An idiot from one of my classes. Just happened he's sharing the apartment with me. Cost less. Sadly for me, he brings in a girl almost everyday. I...I didn't want you to hear them doing...their stuff.

-I can hear you.

-Don't care. Leave me alone, I want to talk with my boyfriend in peace!

 

There was some more noise, like if someone was being kicked out, and then Hyukjae's voice again.

 

-I'm so sorry about that.

-It's okay. I love you.

-I love you too, and I miss you so much. Can you tell me about your day? I...I really want to hear you.

-Sure!

 

He listened to me, then we started to talk about nothing and everything until I told him he was getting really late and he should go to sleep. I heard him sigh.

 

-I don't wanna hang up, he said, probably pouting. Mind talking until one of us fall asleep?

-No, not at all.

-You are so incredible. I love you so much.

 

He fell asleep before me, his breathing before regular after a little while. I still talked a moment, telling him how much I loved him and missed him, then hung up. It hadn't been two minutes and I was already missing him even more.

 

I woke up the next day with a text message on my cellphone from him, telling me I was the best and that he loved me.

 

I couldn't stop smiling the whole day.

 

Time passed by, and though he did call more often than before, he was incredibly busy, and during the first year, it was getting harder for me to believe he would come back. Why would he? He had friends, he was studying what he always wanted to do, and most importantly, he was happy. He loved that place, I knew it. The more it was going on, the more I was losing hope. His few calls would make me happy, but I was so scared. He always had been popular, what if he fell for someone else? What if he gets annoyed of this long distance relationship? What if he couldn't handle this kind of relationship?

 

I missed him so much. I was lonely. I couldn't bear losing him.

 

It's not like I didn't get my share of temptation. I did go out a few times with friends, and yes, some guys hit on me, but I never gave in to my loneliness. I love Donghae too much. I can't do this to him, even if he never comes back. Unless he tells me he doesn't want me anymore, I'm never going to betray him.

 

His first year was done. He sent me a e-mail telling me the day and the hour of his flight, telling me he was coming back for summer. That day, unfortunately for me, my boss decided to make me work longer, making me late to greet him at the airport. The moment I was free, I left and ran there, since it wasn't that far away, not caring about the pouring rain. I only wanted to see him, I just wanted him to be in front of me and tell me he missed me. I just wanted to see him so badly.

 

I stopped in front midway from the airport, seeing Donghae standing there, under a light pole, completely drenched. He waved to me, smiling brightly. I ran up to him, happy it was raining since I couldn't stop myself from crying at that point.

 

He caught me once I reached him, hugging him so tightly, I probably was making it hard for him to breathe. I was sobbing and smiling.

 

-I'm...I'm sorry! I...I was just...I didn't mean...I didn't want to be late...

-It's okay, Hyukkie. Don't cry. You were working overtime again, right?

 

I sniffed and nodded, hiding my face against in the crook of his neck. I shouldn't be crying, what kind of crybaby am I?

 

-Hae...I missed you so much...

-I know.

-I love you.

-I know. I love you too. I missed you too. Let's go before we both catch a cold, okay?

 

I nodded again. He grabbed my hand and pulled me forward. We were both completely wet, the water going through our clothes, and probably were going to be completely sick the next day, but I didn't care. I couldn't care less. Donghae was back, next to me, and he was holding my hand, his fingers crossing mines.

 

-How was the flight, I asked.

-Fine. I didn't sleep much.

-Aren't you tired now?

-A little.

-Let's go to my place, then, since it's closer. You can sleep over if you want.

-Sure, I would love to.

 

There was silence after this, but not an awkward one. It was a comfortable one. I wasn't alone anymore, Donghae was next to me. I was still ready for the worst, in a way, my I still couldn't believe he was back. I wasn't weird, it didn't seem like he was gone for what seemed forever. It was like he never left.

 

But a question was burning my tongue, and though I was scared to ask, I needed to know.

 

We were still a few minutes away from my apartment. We were walking slowly, for some reason.

 

-Hae?

-Yeah?

-...When...When will you go back?

 

He stopped, not letting go of my hand. Actually, he was holding on tighter. He looked at me right in the eyes, looking serious. All my worries came back, rushing through my head.

 

-I'm...I'm going to study here starting next year.

 

Uhn?

 

-It was too hard to be so far away from everything I always knew. It was great, I'm happy I did it, but I couldn't handle another year.

 

My heart was beating in my chest, so loudly I though he could hear it. He let go of his suitcase and pulled me closer, hugging me softly.

 

-To be really honest, I missed you so much, it was hard to think about anything else. I love you so much. Not being to see you smile and laugh was too hard. I missed you.

-I love you, I said with a broken voice.

-I love you too. I'm not leaving without you ever again.

 

He gently kissed my forehead, then my nose, and then my lips, showing me how much he had missed me and how much he loved me. Some droplets of rain were falling from his cheeks to my neck, but I didn't care.

 

I loved him so much.

 

And he loved me back as much. Maybe, without me really noticing, even a little bit more.

 

 

 

 

 

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Hyukkie, you dummy.

well, I hope you liked it~