4 ☾ History
Shadow of Destiny
☾ Yo.Seob ☽
"Yoseob?" her voice reaches me again, awakening me from the day. "You can hear me, right?"
Heaving a sigh, I focus on the smallest amount of my power before opening my eyes, revealing myself in front of Hyunra. She looks relieved to see me even though she is feeling the heavy atmosphere now.
"Hyunra," I tilt my head slightly, letting my bang to move aside from covering my eyes. "What do I say about Individu in Erebus again?"
This is not the first time she called me after my detailed explanation two nights ago. Even though she always called my name in mind with all her might when she's alone, it still gives her disadvantage.
Hyunra absorbed the information pretty quick. In fact she asked me questions about things I had not explained to her.
Like how I became a Shadow if I was a human before or how L could stand alone without an Individu now. She also asked whether if a Shadow could disappear forever or not and if I also could create Erebus by myself like what L did.
I answered all of her questions patiently. She deserved to know the details. After all, it's me who was being careless, to forget that I should be more careful when total lunar eclipse happened.
Every Shadow is once a human. However I have no idea who the first Shadow is. I did research about it but haven't found the answer yet.
The answer of how I could become a Shadow is pretty simple. I fully recognized that I would die but I tried to refuse believing in it. To put it simple, I didn't want to acknowledge my death.
Therefore a cruel punishment is given to us, people who don't want to believe that we should be dead. We live as someone else's Shadow, carrying all memories we once had, and keep going on until our time come.
When is it? No one knows. Not even me.
It's just sometimes I noticed some Shadows I knew disappeared. They're not taken by the Shades. They just disappeared and replaced by other Shadows.
One said they were forgiven and released from the everlasting punishment so, one day, I will be free as well. Until that day, I just don't have a choice but to go on as a Shadow.
As for L's independent ability, I couldn't give her an answer yet. L hides his past very well that no Shadow can reveal it. I am no exception despite my deeper knowledge compared to other Shadows.
I answered her third question honestly, telling her that it is indeed possible for a Shadow to disappear. The first possibility is the sudden disappearance for no reason, probably because we serve our punishment well.
The second possibility is the Shade wins over us, taking our places as the original Shadows. What happen to the lost Shadows? Only the lost who know.
Of all her questions, the last one definitely caught me off guard. After telling her that I am also able to create the Erebus, she used her chances to make me appeared before her.
Just like now.
"I've told you that Erebus at daylight doesn't do good for Individu," I repeat my words to her. "When you're fully conscious in Erebus, except if it's total lunar eclipse at midnight time, it will take your energy twice than it should be."
Since the start, Erebus is not a Human Realm. It's Shadow Realm and meant only for Shadows. Besides creating Erebus in daylight will attract other Shadows or, even worse, Shades.
At first I just created it to make her sure that she's not losing her sanity, that my existence is real, and she should not let her heart waver about what is real or not.
I just didn't predict she would be paranoid.
Just a minute. Hyunra thinks, grinning awkwardly to me.
"You'll be just fine. I'll know if a Shade comes after you," I assure her. "Besides they usually come at night so-"
But that L came at noon! What if-
"He just came to give you, well, a greeting," I explain to her. "The moment our Encounter happened, your conscience increased and this, by all means, raised the alert to Shadow Realm and, of course, shades."
Hyunra gasps, covering . So all Shades will attack me?!
"Some will," I answer the unspoken questions. "But I can take care of them so-"
L too? But you said he's the strongest Shadow Thief! What w-
"Hyunra," I cut off her thought, closing my eyes for seconds. "I will be grateful if you can stop being paranoid in mind. You'll get tired just with those random thoughts."
"Blame me for being afraid then!" she finally voices out her anxiety. "I can't tell anyone! I can't seek for protection from police! How can I even protect myself so I can stop worrying?"
Noticing that she is slowly being short of breath, both because of the heavy atmosphere of daylight Erebus and panic, I walk closer to her, "You'll be alright, Hyunra."
But L said you couldn't even stop him before so-
I stop on my track when I read her thought just now. She also stops herself from continuing it, looking at me with wide eyes.
Later the apologetic words pop in her mind, "I don't- I'm sorry. I just happened to-"
"It's fine," I cut off her apology, looking at another direction. "It's a human nature to feel anxious with this kind of situation."
It's completely understandable. She feels insecure. No matter how detail and complete my explanation, she has not found any assurance that she will not lose her light, not after L mentioned about how I couldn't stop him before.
That part of my history is unchangeable.
The painful memory of L winning over me, taking over my Individu one hundred years ago still dwell within me. I still remember how torturing it is to lose your power to stay still with the Individu.
As much as I hate to say it, the only reason why I'm still exist now is because L spared my life or, to be exact, my existence.
He said I was an interesting Shadow and it would be such a shame if he lost me that fast. So he returned my Individu to me and took over another for himself.
It's not only the torturing pain I must handle till today. It's the fact that he made me indebted to him. I really hate it whenever I remember that night.
Even after so many Shades I could defeat, holding them back from taking over my Individu, it is true that I'm not sure if I can ever win from L.
"Yoseob...," Hyunra pulls my jacket sleeve, looking at me with apologetic gaze. "I'm really so... rry..."
She loses her strength, falling down on her knees. I catch her right on time before her head hits the floor, "Hyunra!"
"I got you," I hold her shoulder firmly, blaming myself for not pulling back earlier. "You'll be alright so stop calling after me in daylight. You can't take it, Hyunra."
I'm sorry, Yoseob.
This girl... "Forgiven. You are forgiven. Now I will leave, okay? You can call me again when it's night."
She gives me a weak smile and I lay her down carefully, letting go of her hand to erase the Erebus.
I close my eyes, letting her full conscience to return to herself as I go back to the corner of her consciousness.
Her warmth linger on my fingers and, even though for the rest of the daytime she really stops calling for me, the warmth doesn't leave.
The feeling I have been tried to lock for the past years surfaces again.
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