Luhan steps in the room unhappily, walking a little stiffly because his back aches too much. He curses Sehun for having nightmares and curses himself more for being too sympathetic to the young boy. He had rapped the door in such an insistent manner that even Yi Xing, the sound sleeper, mumbled for Luhan to open the door to let the young boy in. His forehead was beaded with sweat and he was close to tears. Luhan’s soft heart gives in and he fell asleep with his arms around Sehun because he figured the young boy needs at least that much.

Back in the practice room, a crowd is visibly huddling and speaking excitedly to a short boy in the center of it all. Luhan peers through the spaces between Chanyeol and Jongin. The boy…the boy is breathtakingly beautiful. He takes Luhan by surprise. Luhan had always thought beauty is something of grandeur…of gorgeousness, that sort. But that boy isn’t beautiful because he glows. Sure he does, but not in that way, Luhan thinks to himself. He finds that he smiles without having to reach too deep in his heart. The boy is beautiful because he’s…pure. He’s the pure kind of beauty, the one that Luhan understood and captured the moment he saw him. The kind that melts the heart and leaves you speechless, not ever wanting to let your eyes wander away from his face.

“Hyung, let’s go get bubble tea,” Sehun’s face appears out of the blue, blocking Luhan’s view of the new boy. A little irritated, Luhan purses his lips and shifts to the side a little, peeking over Sehun’s broad shoulders.

“You haven’t met Baekhyun-hyung?”

“Not yet. What’s his story?” Luhan asks, sounding a little disinterested only because he still feels airy and jittery with the thought of holding hands with the new star.

“Nothing weird. Casted when noona Junhee saw him singing in a contest or something, but I like him,” he shrugs, indifferent. Luhan sighs unhappily and Sehun senses his favorite hyung’s mood so he takes Luhan’s hand in his and drags him to the chattering circle.

“Baekhyun-hyung, Luhan-hyung wants to meet you,” Sehun announces loudly, to which the boy stares at Luhan strangely and Luhan feels a little uncomfortable. Everyone is looking at them expectantly so Luhan shakes off Sehun’s hands and walks forward and holds his hands up.

“My name is Luhan, nice to meet you,” Luhan recites and he regrets the way it sounds so boring. Baekhyun grins and looks straight into Luhan’s doe-like eyes that countless people praised for but he felt like they cannot compare to Baekhyun’s warm shade of brown.

“Byun Baekhyun. You are beautiful, hyung,” he gushes warmly, his eyes lighting up.

This will be the start of something beautiful, Luhan crosses his finger secretly behind his back, hoping Sehun won’t notice. Baekhyun’s hand is warm and soft as it lingers, a little too long, in Luhan’s own ordinary hand.

No one noticed. Except the two boys, who look away awkwardly. Both missed the stolen over-the-shoulder looks they exchanged without the other one knowing.

---

Baekhyun is the polar opposite of Luhan, he finds. He does not approve of Baekhyun’s habit of skinship. He doesn’t like the way Baekhyun siddles up close to Chanyeol and Jongin a lot. He hates the way Baekhyun lets Jongin looks at him. It’s too intimate, Luhan decides. Luhan isn’t comfortable with the idea of intimacy.

“Ge? Are you listening?” Yi Xing’s gentle voice with his thick Changsha accent interrupts Luhan’s daydream and he cringes.

“Yi Xing, we need to practice Korean,” Luhan reminds him kindly and Yi Xing stares down at the untouched food on his tray. Luhan feels like he just missed an important talk with Yi Xing so he sighs guiltily.

“Hey Yi Xing? Let’s work on your song tonight,” he suggests, in mandarin, and Yi Xing’s dull eyes lights up with a dimpled smile to accompany them. Luhan loves the way Yi Xing makes him feel like his hero every time. It’s not hard to cheer him up, despite the many troubling thoughts he has.

“Thank you, hyung,” Yi Xing says slowly, in awkward Korean and Luhan laughs.

When Yi Xing starts taking spoonfuls of his fried rice, Luhan risks a longing look to the table across them, where Baekhyun laughs loudly next to Chanyeol, letting his head lean on the latter.

Luhan loves Yi Xing but he feels strangely jealous of the ones sitting next to Baekhyun.

---

Baekhyun waves lightly to Luhan, trying to be as casual as possible, when he saw Luhan’s unmistakable stare to his way. He smiles too, but it seems like he wasted one. Luhan is deep in conversation with Yi Xing and he ignores Baekhyun. His hand falls limp and he pretends to not be affected but a little part of him withered.

“Who are you waving to? Luhan?” Jongin whispers lowly to him, a knowing smile plastered on the younger boy’s face. Baekhyun stabs the piece of chicken on his plate with the cheap plastic fork, almost breaking the utensil.

“No one…No one,” he forces a smile and it feels real, but Jongin’s sympathetic smile tells him it’s fooling anyone but Jongin. Baekhyun ignores it but feels guilty immediately. He tips the remaining rice on his plate onto Jongin’s plate because he thought the younger boy could use more food. Baekhyun’s appetite is long gone.

Baekhyun learns from experience that being ignored hurts. Being ignored by Luhan hurts…a lot.

---

Once, Baekhyun finds Luhan alone, sitting cross-legged and focused on the Rubik’s cube in hand. He works slowly, unlike all the other times he solved it quick as lightning, cheered by the rest of them. It’s like Luhan is using the cube as some sort of thinking therapy. The younger boy flops down next to him and sighs audibly.

“Hyung, why do you keep solving that thing over and over again?”

Luhan looks up, a little startled by his appearance. He had been thinking, long and hard about…things. He will not admit to himself that Baekhyun was one of the things.

“It’s fun. And it helps me think calmly,” Luhan chuckles and with a final twist, all nine sides are solved. Baekhyun whistles in awe, not ashamed of his childish amazement. Luhan laughs and twists them in different direction again, restarting the puzzle. He tosses it to Baekhyun, who catches it, looking incredulous.

“Me?”

“Yeah, you,” Luhan grins and scoots closer to Baekhyun, waiting for him to start doing something but Baekhyun only weighs the object in his hands, running his long and slender fingers over the scratched surfaces, studying each defect like they all have their own story to tell– a fall to the grass floor, a scrape from a book or a blunt stump from being thrown around too much. Luhan watches Baekhyun intently, and he feels like Baekhyun is slowly prying into his private life. Strangely, he doesn’t mind.

“Here, I shouldn’t be playing with this,” Baekhyun hands it back to Luhan with a smile and Luhan shakes his head, pushing it back to Baekhyun.

“I will teach you. I’ll tell you it’s story,” he offers him and Baekhyun accepts the challenge. He lets Luhan’s hands guide his own, working slowly with each side. Baekhyun learns the tricks and the algorithm soon enough. And he learns about Luhan’s first girlfriend who gave him the cube. He learns about Luhan’s impatience, that he learned to keep under control with the help of the cube. He learns about Luhan’s kind heart. He learns about the tiny crook on Luhan’s thumb, that he says he doesn’t like but Baekhyun finds it quirky.

When they finish, it looks beautiful. Luhan looks satisfied and Baekhyun looks proud.

“Your ex-girlfriend would be proud of how much you love this cube,” Baekhyun jokes. He hands the cube back to Luhan but he refuses the second time.

“No, she’ll be happy if she knew how I taught someone like you. Keep it for now, Baekhyuna,” he says. Baekhyun opens his mouth to protest but Luhan stands up and pats his pants so invisible dust particles fall out.

“Practice hard for me, okay? I’ll test you next time. Then maybe you can get one of your own so we can race each other,” Luhan grins and walks away, leaving Baekhyun dumbstruck as he clutches the cube like it’s a precious newborn.

“For sure,” he says to himself and stares at the cube, wondering just how much history of Luhan it holds. Baekhyun wants to know them all.

Maybe someday. Today’s just the beginning. One step at a time, Baekhyun, he reminds himself. Baby steps.

---

When did Luhan start dreaming about Baekhyun? He never got to know but it wouldn’t help if he knew anyway. Luhan sits idly under the shade of the umbrella, outside his regular café. He takes a sip of the bittersweet mocha coffee and sets his drink down. The sun’s glare stings but Luhan is covered up enough to protect his pale skin and to hide from possible fans. Their managers forbid them from going out without at least enough layers of clothing or accessories to make themselves undetectable. Even as trainees, they have a substantial number of admirers already. Luhan happens to have an exceptionally higher number than some of the others.

“Hey, thinking of him again?” Minseok takes up the seat across him. He leans back and stretches, yawning as he relishes their free hour of rest. He flashes a grin at his best friend and Luhan clears his throat, looking at Minseok intently.

“What do you mean?” He denies, convincingly but Minseok sneers.

“Luhan, you have to watch your body language, man,” he chuckles and sips on cold, iced lemon tea. Almost all the ice has completely melted. Luhan wonders if the diluted drink will still taste sweet but Minseok hardly cares about anything he eats or drink anyway.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he replies, avoiding Minseok’s studying eyes. He gets a little creeped out by how his friend seems to know everything when Luhan is such a private person.

“Sure. But what do you think of him though? I’d like to know,” he asks casually and Luhan finds himself stuck in a tangle of web. What is he supposed to say?

Baekhyun is nice. I like him.

Baekhyun is okay. He’s a friendly guy.

Baekhyun’s cute.

Baekhyun is beautiful.

I wish I can talk to him more. I wish we can go out together and just…have a drink together like this.

I wish…I wish…I know how Baekhyun feels about me. Because I don’t know how I feel about him.

“He’s a good boy,” Luhan says curtly, frustrated with his own mental battle. Luhan is confused. And Minseok can see it clear as day, as the boy furrows his brows and looks in the distance, unaware that really…he is looking for answers too far away when they are so obviously just right there.

“Don’t look too far, Han. I think he has a thing going on for you too,” Minseok says as he gets up, deciding that his friend needs his time alone. Luhan whips his head to the direction of Minseok strolling away, dumping the half-empty cup of drink to the nearest trashcan. Maybe it really isn’t sweet enough then.

“Did he say anything about me?” Luhan calls out, despite the unfriendly stares of passer-bys. Minseok just laughs and Luhan hurries up to catch up with his friend.

He must know what Byun Baekhyun said about him.

---

“Hyung? What does…What’s Luhan like?” Baekhyun asks Minseok shyly. They don’t talk too much, between the eleven other boys that each one usually interacts with. Small talks maybe, but never anything that goes beyond ‘You can use the bathroom now’.

Minseok stares at the smiling younger boy, wearing his bare heart on his sleeve for Minseok to see, to dissect and to analyze.

“He’s…one of a kind,” Minseok replies, not knowing how else to describe his friend, who can’t stand people (except for Sehun) on his bed, dislikes skinship (for the most part), kind, yet ignorant. Baekhyun looks at Minseok with a look that plainly says ‘Is that the best you can do?’

“What is it to you?” Minseok prods him and Baekhyun pokes him back, eliciting a bubbly laugh from the boy. Baekhyun grins. Minseok isn’t as serious as he thought he was.

“I…Nothing. I just feel like, you know,” he shifts uncomfortably. Minseok grins wickedly.

“Do you like him? You guys just met though…You should definitely talk to him a lot more. Although sometimes Luhan doesn’t really like talking,” Minseok adds as an afterthought. Baekhyun’s cheeks are positively turning red.

“N-No, I don’t like him like that….yet. I don’t know,” he whines and buries his face in his thick bundle of jacket and Minseok pats his back sympathetically.

“I don’t know,” Baekhyun repeats, his voice muffled. Minseok thinks it’s silly. He wouldn’t have asked Minseok if he didn’t know.

“I think you do,” Minseok adds in a low voice, and Baekhyun can deny it all he wants but somewhere deep in his brain, something clicks. He does know.

---

Breaks from their practice sessions start to feel like golden opportunities. It’s when they aren’t separated in their dorm and when Baekhyun can freely mingle with whoever he wants to without being watched. He walks over to Luhan and watches the older boy staring at Sehun’s laugh, captivated.

“Hyung.”

“Yeah Sehun?” He replies without looking. Baekhyun is taken aback. Something hurts inside and he can’t tell where. It feels heavy in his chest. His throat closes up and he finds it difficult to say the next few words.

“I’m right here, you know, but I guess I should be somewhere else,” Baekhyun croaks and Luhan gasps, looking up at Baekhyun, walking away. He walks away with purpose in his steps. Luhan sees him tuck something in the pocket of his jacket. It falls with the weight of gravity.

It looks like a cube. His cube.

Luhan has never felt more sorry for such a simple slip-up in his entire life. Never.