“You’re not even gonna spend Christmas with me?”
 

Seohyun leaned on the balcony railing, scanning the panorama of an endless meadow of tiled roofs and ageless buildings. Poinsettias speckled across the balconies of apartments across the street, forming scarlet clouds that floated along the white stone walls from top to bottom. It was like a painting waiting to be executed, all the delicate features of the scenery waiting to have themselves mimicked by the stiffness of acrylic paint. Suho leaned on the railing next to her and made an effort to see what she was seeing. He only saw concrete and flowers. 
 

“I wish I could spend Christmas with you,” she confessed, “but they really want me before then. Way before then.”
 

“December is tomorrow, Seo. Do you really have to leave so soon?”
 

She sighed and watched her misty breath dissipate into the frigid air. “I have to. It’s part of the job now.”
 

Seohyun turned to her friend and gave him another melancholy smile. It had been days - maybe even weeks - since she last gave him a genuine smile. The cheerful friend he once knew had disappeared. It was as if everything in her life had turned into lackluster monochrome, a far leap from her once colorful days garnished with the vibrance of life. 
 

“Seo,” he continued, “are you sure this is what you want to do? Do you really want to have this career?”
 

She fiddled with the snow sitting comfortably on the railing’s ridges. The warmth from her hands gave way to the freezing steel that lay underneath. “It’s such a blessing to have a job like this, Suho. I’m lucky to have it. So many other people in the world would kill to be where I am today, so I’m not going to take it for granted. Since I’m here, I might as well continue on.”
 

“But Seo, does this job make you happy?”
 

Seohyun stopped playing with her hands and examined her frostbitten fingers. Her white skin faded out to pink at the ends of her fingertips, cheerfully numbed by the cold. The ends of her dainty fingers were blushing, but they couldn’t feel anything. She couldn’t feel anything. She couldn’t answer his question.
 

She turned to go inside, the warmth of the room enveloping around her, bringing her in for a toasty embrace. The balcony doors closed shut, and Suho’s footsteps trailed behind her. They both sat on the couch, opposite of each other, and stared off into different corners of the room. The ticking of the clock threatened to explode from the overwhelming silence.
 

Suho sprawled on the couch like he usually did; Seohyun hugged herself tightly under the cozy throw blanket and fuzzy socks. She felt apologetic to him. After all he had given to her in the past year, she would be leaving the face of the Earth with just the snap of a finger and out of his life - at least for awhile.
 

She would miss it all. Homemade meals, early morning wakeup calls, late night chats, driving through the city together, waking up the neighbors with their constant laughter - she would miss all of that. Nothing in the world was more enjoyable than her time with Suho. Nothing compared. 
 

“Two days, huh?”
 

Seohyun looked over to him. He stared up at the ceiling. “Unfortunately.”
 

“When will you come back?”
 

“I don’t know.”
 

Suho sighed. He swung his legs over and sat up, eyes moving towards her. “Did you ever find that thing you came here looking for?”
 

She looked down, unsure of what to say. “I thought I did...but I guess I didn’t.”
 

“If you don’t mind me asking, what were you looking for exactly?”
 

Seohyun smiled at him. “I don’t even know anymore.”
 

She got up, trailing the blanket along the floor with her hand like a child. Once she got to the foot of the stairs, Suho got up as well. She watched him walk across the floor and into his room, gently shutting the door behind him. Suho was more hurt than she was about plans to work abroad, and seeing him in pain tore at her heart and made it difficult to breathe. Seohyun’s gasps became more definite as she struggled for air from under her sudden rush of tears. 
 

She stared wide-eyed at her blurry perception of the room. She didn’t know why she was crying so hard. Guilty, yes. Sad, yes. But to let loose all of these emotions so dramatically all of a sudden - Seohyun didn’t know why. She let go of the blanket, letting it fall to the wooden floor, and rushed over to the foyer. Grabbing her scarlet coat and leather boots, she put them on in a bemused frenzy, not bothering to wipe away the tears that streaked across her pale face. 
 

There were too many thoughts running about in her head - too many worries, too many fears. If she couldn’t deal with them now, she had to clear them out somehow. Seohyun wanted time to herself - time to rethink, time to be. She needed to go somewhere where time stood still and where reality was nothing but a figment of the imagination. 

 

______________________________________________________________________________________

La Seine’s inky waters sliced through the winter wonderland Paris appeared to  be at that moment, white engulfing every wall, every rooftop, every sidewalk, and every street. A blanket of untouched snow covered everything around Seohyun, so crisp, so pure and untainted. She strolled over to the corner of a pathway standing over the dark river below, sitting herself down on the bed of ice crystals. Her scarlet coat made her look like a lonely, blooming poppy springing up from the snow in the middle of winter. 
 

Although she was near the heart of Paris, all the clamorous noises of city life were at a far-off distance from her. It was a secluded place, just the serenity of winter and herself left alone in each other’s silence. Seohyun’s legs were growing numb from the snow, but she was too enchanted with the beauty of the city from her little corner of La Seine to even notice. She almost didn’t notice the sound of shoes scuffing against the frozen sidewalk behind her, nearing with each step.
 

“Excuse me, mademoiselle,” the voice interrupted her thoughts, “but you might get sick if you sit in the snow like that.”
 

Seohyun didn’t move for a few seconds, too engrossed in the wintery wonderland of lights before her. She turned to look at whoever was speaking, searching for a pair of eyes to meet hers.
 

She inhaled the frosty air sharply. “You...Sehun, is that you?”
 

“Wow.” Sehun was just as surprised as she was. “You really have a knack for running into people you already know.”
 

“Is that a compliment?” she half-smiled.
 

Sehun passed the border between concrete and snow, reaching out his hand to her. “Come on, get up. You might get sick like that.”
 

Staring at his hand and then up into his eyes, she hesitated, but nevertheless took his hand. He pulled her up and stood by as she patted the snow off of her scarlet red coat. They shared a smile, but the smile wasn’t genuine like before.
 

“Sehun-”
 

“Let’s make it easier for both of us,” he interjected. Seohyun closed and waited for him to continue. “I know you have questions for me, so let’s forget the formalities, okay? Let’s go to a warmer place. Let’s talk there.”
 

She nodded, a bit taken aback by his bluntness. Seohyun wasn’t expecting it to be this easy for her, but she would count this as a blessing for now. Sehun walked ahead, leaving her to trail behind him step by step. Their shoes scraped and scuffed against the icy walkway, little flurries floating down around them so delicately with charm. They turned a corner, and at that corner stood a familiar little cafe; the cafe they had had their first meeting at; the cafe where their friendship had begun not too long ago. 
 

The warm scent of coffee gushed out and crashed into them as they opened the front doors. Although they had only been there once before, it already had an air of familiarity that was homey and welcoming, pleasant to the atmosphere. The two walked up to the familiar counter, ordered their familiar lattes, and sat down in that familiar spot in the corner of the room.
 

“Where do we even start?” Sehun joked, half choking on his drink. “Is there even a starting point? Everything’s such a jumbled-up mess.”
 

His lightheartedness made her smile. “I guess it is.”
 

Seohyun had pushed Luhan back and away from her thoughts ever since that night. But now, he was coming back in, no different from before. She had expected to feel malice towards him, but there was none to offer. Rather, it was disappointment she felt - that and a tinge of curiosity still lingering around.
 

Luhan had been her mirror. Not in a sense that he had reflected her exactly, but in the sense that he had showed her what she couldn’t see for herself. He had reflected back the beauty he saw within her, the refinement, the elegance: things Seohyun herself had never seen before. And she had seen him for who he was as well, and she could have looked at him for an eternity. 
 

But that mirror had shattered into pieces.
 

Sehun stared at her then took another sip. “It’s up to you - where you want to start that is.”
 

Seohyun’s nails tapped her cup in a sort of melody. “I guess I’ll just start from the beginning...chronologically.”
 

He nodded. “Shoot.”
 

“I can ask anything?”
 

“Anything. No hesitation. No lies,” he said simply. “Everything.”
 

“There was this once...I was in the company building. There were two women talking about him, saying that he doesn’t do his job - that he rejects offers to write stories and what not. It’s a trivial matter, really, but I was just curious as to why they talked about him that way, insulting him actually.”
 

“I’ve said this before, but Luhan is kind of a wandering soul,” Sehun explained. “He writes what he wants when he wants. But actually, that’s not entirely true.”
 

“Is there something the matter?”
 

“Not really, but I must tell you that he has more than one job. How many - I don’t know, but he does have a few. All of them are jobs for writing, whether they be editorials or articles or whatever. It’s not that Luhan never wanted to do some of those offers, it’s just that he doesn’t have time to do everything.”
 

“I see,” Seohyun nodded. “Why so many, though?”
 

Sehun rubbed his neck. “Luhan isn’t really...in a good financial position per se. Paris isn’t the cheapest city, and being a writer doesn’t exactly bring lots of bread on the table.”
 

“He’s the only one that works then,” she clarified the fact to herself. “What of his family? Do they not work?”
 

“It’s just him and his mom. Although, his mom isn’t fit to work right now. His father, well...”
 

Seohyun tilted her head to the side, watching Sehun trail off with his mouth agape. He wasn’t hesitating to answer; she could tell. Rather, he couldn’t find the right words, so he was searching for them somewhere amidst the room.
 

“Don’t be too shocked, mademoiselle,” Sehun warned. “But I’m going to tell you something not many people know.”
 

“Is it that much of a secret?” Seohyun implored. “If it’s something I shouldn’t know, don’t push yourself, Sehun.”
 

“No, no,” he shook his head. “Not many people know only because Luhan hasn’t told anybody. He’s a stubborn peanut - that guy. It’s not anything I shouldn’t tell, it’s just something Luhan doesn’t tell. Why - I don’t know.”
 

“Well, go on,” Seohyun encouraged with hesitation at the tip of her tongue. “I guess.”
 

He nodded with big eyes. “Luhan’s father is actually Suho’s uncle.”
 

She held her breath, trying to absorb the words that had come out of his mouth. “Luhan...and Suho...are cousins?”
 

“That’s correct.”
 

“The man who was editor-in-chief for the company before Suho...the man who had passed down that same job to Suho...that man? Really?”
 

Sehun nodded. “That guy.”
 

“This isn’t some kind of joke, right? You’re not lying to me?”
 

“I’m an honest man,” Sehun smiled. “I wouldn’t lie to you, mademoiselle.”
 

“Well, this just opens a new world of questions, Sehun. I’m afraid we might be here all day.”
 

“Then we’ll be here all day.” He pushed his empty cup to the side, watching streaks of coffee form from its spilled remnants. “Ask away.”

______________________________________________________________________________________
 

He was illegitimate, to put it simply. Luhan was. His parents had an affair, those short romantic flings that just kinda happen amidst the hustle and bustle of Paris life. But once an actual child was on the line, his father went up and left. He simply couldn't have the mere existence of an illegitimate child ruin his reputation, his career; he left the woman he had loved along with the son he had never loved in their own hands, debts and all. The man who Luhan never came to call his father had already been married at the time to another woman. That woman never knew what had happened. 
 

Luhan grew up fighting to live comfortably, having to pay for his father’s debts and care for his mother’s needs. It wasn’t easy; although, it never was easy for him. So to see his mother grow old in such a pitiful state - he hated the man who he should’ve called his father. Luhan grew a loathing for him, he who had thrown away his life as well as his mother’s simply because he was ashamed and embarrassed. 
 

And then what of Suho? Well, Luhan watched out for him. Once his cousin had arrived in the city a few years ago, he made sure that he wouldn’t have a hard time living here. Suho was his only family besides his own mother, so he was important to him despite the fact that Luhan himself was a complete stranger. Luhan didn’t want anything terrible to happen to his family, so he took measures into his own hands.
 

“So, this is where that story comes in,” Seohyun interjected Sehun’s lengthy explanation to let him breathe.
 

“What story?” Sehun raised an eyebrow.
 

“Didn’t Suho have a girlfriend? He never told me about it, but I just heard-”
 

“Oh, yeah!” he pointed a finger in the air. “That stupid Luhan. What an idiot.”
 

Seohyun waited for him to continue. “So what’s the story behind that?”
 

“She was a conniving woman,” he expressed with a certain distaste in his tone. “Her eyes weren’t set on love but on fortune. All she wanted was the money.”
 

Seohyun sighed, remembering that there truly were people who only had such intentions in this world. Sehun went on to explain that Luhan had found out that the woman was only in it for the money after overhearing a phone call of hers while he was on the job. He didn’t want to break the news to Suho, fearing that it would be too harsh to say it to his face, so he did the unthinkable. Luhan made her fall in love with him. 
 

However, it didn’t end as well as he had hoped. Luhan managed to trick the woman, saying that he was rich, only for a week or so until she blatantly left him when she found the hots for another victim. All Suho ever knew, on the other hand, was that the girl he had loved had left him for Luhan, and that was it. His once bright smile had disappeared for years, breaking Luhan’s heart in the process. He regretted plotting the unlikely demise of Suho’s love life and happiness; he had never planned for that to happen. All Luhan had wanted was for the leeching woman to leave his family alone. 
 

“And as for you,” Sehun said, “he did the same exact thing the last time you saw him - that night at the party.”
 

Seohyun stared directly at him, not sure what to say. “What do you mean?”
 

“What I mean is this,” he began. “He lied to protect you. He does that stupid thing all the time - thinking that lying will bring good to people. What an idiot. He loves you, mademoiselle, okay? But he lied to you to ‘protect’ you or whatever he said that night.”
 

There was a pause. Sehun searched Seohyun’s face for any type of reaction, but she just stared down in a daze. There was a glimmer of hope shining within her now, a hope that Luhan really could return her feelings. But that little gleam was crushed in a second from all the thoughts that had already clouded her hopeless mind ever since that night at Versailles.
 

Sehun cleared his throat. “He loves you, mademoiselle. He really does.”
 

“If he truly loved me, he wouldn’t have hurt me.”
 

He was taken aback by her nonchalant bluntness. “He really does. I swear.”
 

“If he loves me,” she continued, “he would be honest and brave enough to say it to me personally. I’m tired, Sehun. I’m tired of chasing after him. I tried - I really did, but a person can only persevere so much until they finally give up. I’m at that breaking point. I’m sorry. I tried.”
 

“I know you tried, and that’s why I want you to know how important you are to Luhan.”
 

Seohyun looked up, eyes hesitant and mood wavering. 
 

“I never thought Luhan would fall in love ever, but he did. You’re the only person he’s ever come to love, not even as an infatuation, mademoiselle, but truly and purely love itself. I’ve never seen him go so insane over one person before.”
 

“Sehun-”
 

“He mopes around everyday. Everyday he’s done this since that night, so weeks really, weeks. Do you know how annoying that is? He complains and sits on the couch rubbing his temples, sighing, groaning, pacing around - it’s as if his life was over if no one knew any better. Mademoiselle, please, I’m begging you.”
 

His voice was cracking, so Seohyun took his hand to calm him down. His hands were cold, but hers were warm. The contrast made the situation that much more chilling and tense. 
 

“I’m begging you,” he continued after steadying his voice, “just to see him. Say something. Please.”
 

Seohyun rubbed the back of his palms before letting go of her grasp. “Sehun. I’ll be leaving in two days. My mind’s already set, and I know Luhan is probably beginning to understand the situation, too. I don’t want to make this any more unbearable than he does or you do.”
 

Sehun was at a loss for words. He had given his all to try and persuade her, but she was just as stubborn as Luhan was. He sighed, nodded his head, and leaned back against his chair.
 

“I’m sorry, Sehun. But I won’t be seeing Luhan again.” She stood up, wrapped her scarf snuggly around her neck, and sighed one last time. “I guess...this is goodbye to you.”
 

He looked up, eyes sad and heartbreaking, and nodded. “You were a good friend to me. Thanks.”
 

“No,” she shook her head. “Thank you. I guess...I’ll see you in time.”
 

She took him in one last time, analyzing his features, the way he looked, the memories retained inside that cafe. It was goodbye, a reluctant goodbye to say the least. She made her way to the exit, stepping out with a gush of frigid air enveloping her with her first step to the outside. Only time would tell when she would come back there - if she would ever come back there - to that cozy little cafe where she got to know and enjoy the company of the wonderful friend called Sehun Oh.
 

______________________________________________________________________________________

Snow flitted down from the sky, sprinkling rooftops and windows and streets like powdered sugar. The city looked charming and humble before its lights would turn on and shower the city with a sense of glamor and exuberance.
 

In fact, lights began to appear one by one, gradually and then before anyone knew it all at once, fanning out across the city all the way to its outskirts. Seohyun loved that part of the city; it was compelling and mystique.
 

While looking through her drawers, a spot of leather caught her eye, buried beneath a pile of magazines and books. She pulled it out from underneath and blew excess dust off of it. Seohyun was surprised to see her own self surprised. It was her notebook, how she could have forgotten - she didn’t know. It had been awhile since her last poem entry, not even remembering what her last one was. All the poems that were meant to preserve memories had been conserved for much too long it had seemed.
 

She stuffed it in her purse and took one final look at her room, at her bed, her beautiful desk that sat before the window, and at the magnificent view of the city that her window always seemed to offer. Her room was spotless, so clean that it was as if she had never resided here for any time at all. It was as if she had never even lived in this city. Pulling her luggage along, she walked out of the room. 
 

“All packed up, Seo?” Suho called from the living room.
 

“Yeah,” Seohyun replied, walking in dressed up and ready to go. She patted her signature scarlet coat. “I’m ready.”

A/N:

Sorry for the longest wait I've ever given. I'm kinda beating myself up over it. With the end of a semester comes a truckload of tests and projects. I'm so sorry for having you all wait for too long! Hopefully this chapter answered a lot of the questions that have been running around in your head for awhile now.

I don't know if many of you have noticed, but Sehun is the only one who calls Seohyun "mademoiselle". Isn't that adorable? ^^

I know this chapter was a lot to digest, so if you have any questions, feel free to ask me!

Please comment below, and don't worry! I'll update much sooner this time ^^