Sometimes, I wonder if it would make the world better if I just died. I have little reason to stay, and the monster that’s haunting me was plenty of reason to let go out this world. I didn’t, though. I didn’t know why, but I can’t seem to find peace anywhere I go, not even with Tao, the only one who cared enough and protected me.

I avoided the places that Tao and I used to visit together in the late nights. I didn’t want to run the risk of accidentally meeting him. I didn’t know what would happen, what I might say, but I only just managed to put myself back together and I did not want to be shattered again. I told myself I should move on, and perhaps with time I would manage without him. But fate had other plans for me. For both of us.

A disharmony of shattering glass woke me up in the middle of the night. My room was dark and I couldn’t see anything. I tried to listen for some hint of what has happened, but I heard only the ragged sounds of my breathing. I turned toward the nightstand, fumbling with the lamplight.

Clawed hands grab me before I was able to light it. I managed little more than a surprised yelp before I was thrown down onto the bed. A slight weight landed on top of me, small and bony, with skin like parchment. It seemed like a harsh word and a heavy look might break it apart, but despite this impression, it was impossibly strong. I struggled against it, but I couldn’t knock myself free.

I gasped with fear, my heart thudding heavily inside my chest. The copper scent of stale blood filled my lungs, and I understood what has happened. The monster finally found me. And this time, Tao isn’t at my side to scare it off.

Panic seized me. I struggled wildly, to no avail. He straddled me, one bony knee on either side of my hips as he pulled my arms above my head to immobilize me. I thrashed against him but he won’t move, except to lower himself atop me, bringing his foul mouth to my throat.

His teeth pressed against my flesh, sharp points like pins dug deep into my throat. He bit, piercing me, and I screamed. There was no one to hear me, no one to stop this monster, but I screamed in hopes of rescue, until my throat went raw.

He ignored me like a cat ignoring the frightened protests of her captured rat. He greedily at the wound he made, and I felt my blood flowing out from me, leaving me hollow and weak. I continued to beat my fists against his shoulders, striking bones that ought to snap like twigs beneath my angry blows, but left bruises on my hands as if I was beating against hardened steel.

My kicks and punches ineffectual to begin with, weakened with each mouthful of my blood that he swallowed. It didn’t take long before I lacked the strength to struggle. My head spun with every attempt, and my limbs felt as if they were ten times heavier than they’re supposed to be. I stared up at the dark ceiling, vision blurred with tears that won’t shed.

He was drinking my life away, and there will be nothing left of me but a husk when he was done. I closed my eyes and hoped that the end will come swiftly. His bites hurt, and I just wanted the pain to stop. I was too weary to even startle when the screen door suddenly opened.

There was a moment where no one moved, not I nor the monster neither the intruder.