Secrets, Lies & Betrayal
Secrets, Lies & BetrayalChapter 2: Secrets, Lies, & Betrayal
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[A/N: YAY! An update lol Go easy on me okay? failed grammars, spelling and such aren't meant to be written and if found, ignore it. Hehehe thanks!]
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Secret
se·cret
/ˈsēkrit/
adjective
1. not known or seen or not meant to be known or seen by others.
noun
1. something that is kept or meant to be unknown or unseen by others.
Lies
/lī/
noun
1. an intentionally false statement
verb
1. tell a lie or lies; get oneself into or out of a situation by lying; (of a thing) present a false impression; be deceptive
Betrayal
treachery: an act of deliberate betrayal
treachery: betrayal of trust; deceptive action or nature
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When there are good things in life, there are also bad things in life. No matter how much we try to shake off the bad stuff, we can't. Sometimes it just sticks to us, like it's our fate. No matter how many good things that comes in our lives, there will always be at least one bad thing that happens.
And sometimes, it is us who chooses to go to that path.
We tend to keep secrets, because there are things in our life we don't want others to know.
We tend to tell a lie, because there are things in our life we aren't very proud of telling others.
And we tend to betray others because sometimes what we think is good for us, aren't really what's best for us.
This just tells us, that no matter how hard we try to avoid the bad stuff, we just can't.
Keeping secrets are inevitable...
Telling lies are unavoidable...
and
Betraying someone is a choice you must make...
Will all these bad things benefit me or you? Or will it only make our lives harder than it already is.
But that is how life work...
When there are good things, there are also the bad things.
-
Kwon Jiyong
I didn't want summer to end. It was hard to bid goodbye to the good weather of summer as fall arrived earlier than what we had expected. It's not that I'm not excited for school, its just school means less time with my girlfriend.
Sandara Park, how to even describe who I call the love of my life. It was all fate as I call it when we first met. You know the whole, me as the bad boy while she's the different kind of girl. The first time I saw her, she didn't try to get my attention like other girls would do.
She didn't flaunt a lot of skin, like what girls would do in this school even in the cold weather.
Dara didn't put much makeup like other girls would put on their faces.
She was different, the different kind of good.
Courting her was probably the biggest challenged that came to my life.
No scratch that, there are more things challenging in my life, I'm just choosing to ignore it.
I wanted to tell her what they are, but a part of me is stopping me from doing so.
Am I really ready to tell it all?
Am I really ready to bare my soul to her?
I mean meeting her, was probably the sweetest mistake that happened to my life.
But the secrets around me... will she be ready for it all?
Or will my secret shatter us?
And I'm not ready for that. At least not yet.
"Are you okay?" I stiffened as I felt her arms around my waist. Have I told you how unpredictable my girl is? Well she is, she doesn't like to do a lot of skinship around many people, but when there's not a lot of people, she tend to initiate it first.
And that's one of the things I love about her. She's unpredictable in many good ways.
"Yea," I held her hands and took them off my waist. I then turned around and there her beautiful face welcomed me. "Are you okay?"
"I asked you first," Dara smiled that breathtakingly beautiful smile at me. "Something is bothering you..."
"No," I tightly held her hands and placed them around my neck. "I'm just bummed that school started. We don't get to see each other much."
"Yah!" she giggled making me smile again. The soft sound of her voice, would always make my heart flutter. "We see each other everyday. I mean I wake up next to you. We go to school together and not even an hour pass we see each other again. And we go home together and sleep again... its like the same thing this summer except we have mroe to do."
"Yea, but being apart from you for an hour is a torture for me," I reasoned which she smiled to. "And every minute no scratch that every second we are apart, I miss you."
"Awwww..." she laughed softly. "Since when did my bad boy get all sweet."
"It's what you do to me," I winked at her making her laugh some more.
Our moments however were interrupted as my phone started ringing. I quickly whipped it out of my pocket and saw the name flashing on the screen. I quickly pressed the ignore button as panic came over me.
"Who was it?" I looked up and found Dara's curious eyes. "Why did you ignore it?"
"I didn't ignore it," I explained making her look puzzled. "I... I don't know the number so I muted the ringing."
"Is that so?" she uttered lowly making me nod.
"Don't worry, it's no one important," I said making her nod this time. "So shall we head to lunch?"
"Sure," she grabbed my hanging hand as I led her to the cafeteria.
I didn't want to think about it, but I can't help it. The call, I knew one of these days she'd call. She'd call to remind me something important. Something important I wanted to ignore.
But somehow, I can't avoid all these. I needed to face them one of these days. I needed to fight what I want in my own life. It's not hers, it's mine.
"Jiyong," Dara stopped walking making me stop as well. I turned to look at her and there she was looking at me curiously.
"What's wrong?" I asked making her look down at our entwined hands.
"You will end up cutting my blood circulation you know that," she teased as I found my hand holding onto hers too tightly. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. And slowly I loosened up my hold on her.
I'm not ready to let her go just yet...
At least not now.
"I'm sorry," I whispered making her worry once again.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Dara used her other hand and caressed my right cheek. I caught her hand and kissed it gently making the lines on her forehead ease. I then smiled and nodded.
"I'm just trying to think of a topic for Psych class," I lied making her look puzzled.
"Professor Kim already gave you an assignment?" she asked making me sigh like it was a real act.
"Yes babe, he did gave us an ASSignment already," I smirked making her giggled. "After all he's an ."
"Hey," Dara shook her head. "Stop worrying about it okay? You barely study anyway, and surprisingly you pass all your classes."
"Yah! That's because I'm smart!" I proudly said making her shake her head and tried her very best not to laugh.
"Come on smart guy let me feed you!" she grabbed my hand and led the way.
Have I told you how much I love this woman? Well if I haven't I do. I love her more than I love my motorcycle and my car. I love her more than my life.
And maybe this troubling thoughts in my head is probably not necessary after all I have her.
And Sandara Park is the only girl I need in my life. No one else even them.
-
Choi Seunghyun (TOP)
I feel shaky, jittery and my fingers I couldn't control it from tapping the table. I could feel my heart beating rapidly and the forming sweat all over my body sticks through my clothes. My mouth felt dry, my eyes seems watery and I just can't control anything today. I tried to keep myself normal so others wouldn't see that part of me.
A part of me that's been hidden for more than a year now.
I'm craving for it once again. It was a mistake. I didn't mean to do it again, but I found it suddenly. It was hidden so well behind my closet, that next thing I knew it was right in front of me. It was luring me in. It lured me in to do it again.
While Bom was out of town two weeks ago, I thought I'd help her out with our apartment. I tried cleaning it making it neat so she would be proud of me. And little did I know, my good deeds led me to bad stuff with the surprise I had found.
As I dug deeper into my grave, it was right there in front of me luring me to come in.
I took one and had lit it up and next thing I know it was heaven.
I felt like I was in heaven again like old times.
And that day was the start of my dark past that I thought I had left behind a year ago.
I swore to God, that once I was released from rehab that I wouldn't do it again.
But that one good deed I had done had led me to the bad stuff again.
And what's worst from that incident is that the girl who had been with me for so long had caught me red handed.
She had seen me at my worst again.
The shock in her face was nothing to me.
It was the disappointment on her beautiful face that got me panicking.
I knew that one of these days she'd get tired of taking care of me and would leave me.
Park Bom had seen the bad in me, and I know one of these days she'll really leave me which scares the hell out of me.
"We need to talk," my fingers stopped from tapping as I hear her voice. I looked up and found her face hard and I could baarely read her thoughts. My body shook for unknown reason and the sweat in my forehead got worst.
"Are...are you go...go...going to eat lunch first?" I didn't know why I was stuttering.
"No," Bom shook her head. "We need to go home. That's what we need to do."
"But what about your other classes?" I asked making her close her eyes for a second. I know she's trying her very best to be patient with me. I can see it from the lines on her forehead as she tried to ease them.
"Dara got it covered for me," she answered. Dara... her friend who knew my situation as well. Dara and her boyfriend Jiyong who is also my friend, had helped Bom get me to the right place a year ago. But realizing what just happened, tells me I just threw away that hope they had in me. "Let's just go."
"Bom," I stood up and grabbed her hand. "We can talk about it later. I don't want you to miss your classes for me."
Bom closed the gap between us and looked hard into my eyes, "I'm not doing this for me Top," she whispered. "I'm doing this for you."
"Wait...what for?" I asked confused.
"Do you really not know?" she asked me.
"What do...do you mean?" I buckled this time.
"You look ing dead Top," Bom murmured lowly hoping no one could hear our conversation. But the harshness in her voice was so distinct. "People in this school probably knows what's going on with you!"
I couldn't utter anything for a minute. I wanted to deny it, but I know what she meant. I can feel it in me. The signs of every ing withdrawal. Nothing in my head is cooperating after all, all I could think of is having more...more of the bad stuff.
"So just don't question anything else," she warned. "And just go home with me."
And as we were about to leave, the happy couple arrived. Both were happily together holding each other's hands. While Bom and I are far apart and cold. I knew deep down in me, I was destroying something that's worth keeping forever. It's my own flaw that will destroy us. My own choice that wil destroy what my girlfriend had given up to be with me. I know deep inside my head what I am destroying yet I remained mum about it.
"Are you two leaving?" Dara's voice broke my thoughts.
"Yea," Bom uttered first hoping to get away fast. "We have an emergency."
"Is everything alright?" Jiyong looked at Bom then at me. I looked away ignoring his eyes. But it was no secret to them. And based on the look on Bom's face, the two might have a clue on what was going on. "Hyung are you okay?"
"I'm okay," I shortly answered. "We gotta go. Sorry guys."
"It's okay," Dara nodded. She then gave Bom a hug which the girl stiffly returned. As far as I know, Dara might just have a clue on what's going on since she is good at detecting problems in people. "We'll just see you tomorrow okay?"
"I'll message you later," Bom said making Dara nod again.
"Take care," Jiyong said making me nod.
Going home, it would have been a nice thing right now. However going home in this atmosphere with Bom is not good. But somehow I have to face it. I have to face the fact that I'm hurting her even though she doesn't show it much.
"Bom," I called making her stop for second.
"Please Top," she turned looking at me sadly. "Just don't say anything right now."
In the end, I let her have it. I just nodded and followed her as we go home.
As we go home, partially broken from the lies that's in me.
-
Lee Seungri
I couldn't stop thinking about her. She was hard not to forget. I smiled unknowingly as I pictured her beautiful face. The moment I walked in my first class, I found her glowing in one area. She was dressed differently compare to the other girls in this school. Different meaning different good.
Maybe that's why I like her. She doesn't follow what others do in this school.
But anyway... let me tell you something about me.
So how the hell did a Lee Seungri get in, in one of a prestigious school?
Magic? Miracle? Well I'd like to think it's a miracle, but its not that. I know Jiyong hyung thought I got in because someone was sponsoring me... well that's mainly true. I was sponsored by someone. I should be thankful for it, and I am.
But sometimes, being sponsored means something else.
Kind of like, if someone does a favor you ask them to do, there is an expectation that you'd do something for them in the future in return. Did that make sense? And my situation sort of falls under that category. With my education being paid for, there's a repayment that my sponsor expects.
It's not just my life actually that depends on this whole sponsor thing. I have two other mouths to feed and support and I'm doing my very best to do the big brother duties. Even though a part of me is being degraded.
I liked it at first, but as time goes by I slowly realize that my life is nothing but a deep . But I vowed to myself and for the sake of my siblings, that I will work hard in school so I can get a decent jobin the future where I can support my brother and sister.
People think I live a luxurious life, when really my life has been nothing but a slumped.
There are things I have done that I'm not proud of, but I can't really do anything about it as it already happened.
"Yah!" I looked up and found Jiyong hyung and Dara noona looking at me curiously.
"Omo! Did Seungri found someone?" Dara noona said making me smile.
"You know me too well noona," I smirked making the girl laugh.
"Yah!" Jiyong butted in. "You came here to study!"
"You are no fun hyung," I teased making the guy glare. The two sat down across from me with their lunch in front of them. I gulped suddenly as I felt my stomach grumble. There I realized I haven't eaten anything since this morning.
"Are you eating?" Noona asked making me think for a minute. I know if I whip my wallet out, I'd find nothing since I've used the money I received from my wonderful sponsor to my siblings. I made sure that before I leave them in the hands of my greatful mother that they don't starve to death. So I had chosen to buy them food that to save it for myself. I had to make sure that before I leave for school my siblings get fed and taken care of.
"Ummm..." I bit my lips trying to make an excuse.
"Here," she pushed a sandwich towards me. "I bought an extra one since I know you'd be here."
"Ayyy," I know noona could see something in me. She actually teared up when I told her about my family back then, but that is all I can reveal to her. "Thank you noona."
"Here," Jiyong hyung tossed a soda at me. I caught it and smiled at him as well.
"Don't worry guys, its just today," I shyly explained making the two smile.
"I'm making pasta for dinner tonight," Dara noona muttered. "You can come by, I make quite a lot and another mouth to feed would be nice."
"If I know you're doing this for charity noona," I teased making her frown. "I'm teasing. I'll defnitely come by! I can't pass on your delicious pasta!"
"Sometimes Ri, I don't know what's going on in that thick head of yours," noona laughed making me smile. Even though behind my laugh is sadness. I didn't want anyone to know what was going on in my head. Jiyong hyung might have witness a few bad instances in my life, but there's no way I'd slipped this one out. "But I hope you know Jiyong and I are here for you."
"She's right panda," Jiyong hyung added.
"Oh you two stop it!" I faked a touched face even though I was really touched in the inside. "I know you'd be there for me, but I'm doing my best to be independent."
"Its just your first year," she said making me smile. "So take it slow okay? We're here for you."
"If you two insist," I smirked making them laugh.
"But really who's the girl?" Dara noona sure didn't let this one go. "I know that look when I see one."
"Noona, are you trying to pull a match making here?" I asked making her giggle.
But that's not what caught me off guard when I said that, it was the way Jiyong hyung was looking at Dara noona. His eyes, even in a guy's eyes I could see how they sparkle. Is that even possible? I guess when people say, if you're in love you can see it in their eyes.
Does that mean noona saw that in me? I can't be in love. I mean Lee Seungri doesn't do that. I could only offer girls something temporary after all my parents had proven how love doesn't always go the right way.
And I know I can never love someone, since I'm not the kind of guy.
To add my problem, I don't think any girl would want to be with me. I don't know how she will accept me when I can't even accept myself. I let my own doings ruin myself.
"So who is she?" Dara noona's voice echoed.
"Ummm Lee Chaerin," I uttered surprise making the two stop and look at me. "That's her name guys don't look at me like that. It's not like I intended to say my last name. Heck how many Lees are in this school."
"Whoa easy boy!" Jiyong chuckled. "We were just surprise you know her full name."
"Do you guys even listen to roll calls on the first days?" I asked making the two smile.
"Yea, if I'm interested in that person," Hyung turned to noona and smiled. Dara noona blushed which made me roll my eyes. I wanted to puke at that moment. See, that's what lovesick people do. They do stuff that definitely don't fit in me.
"You know panda, one day you'll experience love," Jiyong hyung added making me cough.
"Aigoo Riri you sure are still a kid," Noona giggled making me shake my head. "But I bet this Chaerin girl caught you off guard."
"Oh she did alright! Especially with her thick cat eyeliner," I explained. "And damn those high heels! She's the epitome of iness!"
"Pig!" Dara noona shakes her head this time.
"I'm just being a guy," I winked and next thing I know a chip flew right on my face. And as I looked at Jiyong hyung he was glaring hard at me. "Sorry! No winking!"
Dara noona just laughed. And next thing you know the two are back to being in their own world. As I see that, something inside me suddenly felt envious. I shook my head, and ignored whatever feeling that was. I know I can't love someone especially when I myself can't even love myself.
Sad...I know, but that's what my life is. Somehow I feel like I am betraying those people around me with the lies I have in me.
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Author's Note:
YES! I got an inspiration for this update! I wish my ideas would just keep coming. And my motivation to type too. I can feel that I'm slowly reviving the old writer in me lol. I just feel it!
But anyway thank you all for reading! I hope I can go through this one and make it short... I hope lol. Anyway tell me what you think about this update. Some are revealed as to what they are hiding and well some it remains mysterious right now. I love a few lines from Top's. Not that I can relate to it, but its so deep. LOL
So thank you all for reading! I hope to see you in the next update! Leave me some love okay? Thanks! ^_~
Love,
SeungsKa!
P.S.
How is this font for you guys? For some reason I love this font hehehe. I hope its okay for you since its different when I'm typing it on the computer. Let me know okay, and also the font size if its a bothersome. Heheheh Thanks!
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