jongup POV- 

~don't leave me because I'm a stupid that can't live without you                   

Dont leave me because my heart will explode from that aching pain it's in. 

Don't leave me because I love you, I'm in love with you.~

this is a statement I'm repeating in my head while are science is going on. I'm planning to get up and just confess my love to him infront of this whole class, but I might faint from all the stares. 

He won't even look back at me anymore. I shift my eyes over to the cherry blossom tree outside our class window. I remember the many days I would look at his face and daydream that we would get married under a cherry blossom tree. While k. Will's "love blossoms" played we would kiss after our finishing vows. Then I would snap out of it and realize he never even spoke to me before.

 Falling in love with him started in third grade, and I feel like a idiot that I told him that...

8 years ago- 

"jonggie get up, you have shcool". My moms melodic voices hums over me while she soothingly shaked me awake.

"I'm sleeping with my eyes open umma". I whined, then turned over and pulled the blanket over my head. She sighed and walked off into the kitchen. 

"Alright moon jongup, but there's cookies in your lunch box"! She shouted from the bathroom, knowing that it would spark immediate glee out of me. I jumped out of my bed and went to the bathroom so she could wash me up and get me dressed.

standing by my front door I waited for my mom to get the rest of my backpack ready. We had just moved in a new neiborhood and I was not familiar with the kids around here. I knew where my elementary school was but, i had no friends. 

"Ok jonggie, this is your name tag you remember to tell anyone who asks. that you're moon jongup and you're in the third grade. ok"? 

I nodded in response then took my back pack swinging it around on my arms and walking off in the distance. "Bye mommy"!! I yelled she turned around and didn't hear me the first time. "Bye mommy"!! I yelled again louder. She looked out the door and replied.

"bye, watch where you're go-"! She yelled too late then I collided right into another big head kid like me. We both fell on our butts...

"ouch"!! The other child pouted while looking me in the eyes.

"I'm sorry" I responded helping him pick up his backpack. He grabbed it and smiled in return.

'"it's okay I was saying bye bye to my mommy" he studdered while standing up awkwardly. "She left i think..." He looked back in the direction he was walking in nd saw no one there. "Yeah she went home, what your name"! 

"Jongup, you"? 

"Youngjae, is my name my mom gave it to me". He smiled brightly showing his missing teeth.

"wow that's cool, um I have to go to school now". I avoided any other conversation with him so I could go to school, then he followed behind me.

"me too what school you go to"? He asked walking next to me. 

"I don't remember the name but it has one of those pretty trees in front of it". I responded unsurley.

"the cherry blossom tree"? He questioned.

"yeah, I think". 

"I go to that school too". He locked his arm in mine and ran up the street faster to the school. 

When we got to the shcool there were so many kids outside crowded by the breakfast line waiting for food. They all didnt get a lunch box like I did...

"hmm I guess this is my stop gotta get breakfast..." Youngjae's small body trailed off slowly and I grabbed him back afraid to be alone.

"no you can eat with me" I retorted guiding him to a empty table. Once we sat down i took out my lunch box and he immediately saw my box full of animal shaped cookies. His mouth opened in awe and his eyes potruded. 

"You're mama gave you cookies"? He asked wanting me to offer him some.

"yeah you want some"? I quickly poured some on his hand. He ate them and smiled.

"thank you, friend". He said while chomping on the sweets. I smiled back and ate with him, first day at a new school won't be so bad after all, or so I thought.

then SLAM a trio of taller boys stood in front of us one which who had slammed his backpack on the table.

"hey dummie"! One of them yelled at both of us. "Do you know who I am"? 

"Uh, no" I responded shyly 

"I'm bang yongguk, that's kim himchan my friend, and jung daehyun my other friend. We don't like you and we don't want you sit here...". 

"But we came here first"? Youngjae complained. Standing up.

"so"!! The other friend daehyun yelled at him. Making youngjae sit back down. "Y'all just sit down and listen to the man"!!! 

"I'm moon jongup, and I'm in the third grade"!!! I stood up Bodley. 

"Cool I'm in the third grade too" then a thinner framed boy holding a skateboard ran over to us smiling. "Ooh cookies can I have some"? He pointed to my lunch box. 

I grabbed some in my hand and he took them. And ate them, then I zipped my lunch pale up. 

"Junhong why do always have to be so nice" himchan asked him poking him and pouting. 

"You guys fourths graders leave them alone". He skated off into the shcool yard. For a minute it felt as if my life had a reason when I saw his face smile at me. It seemed like and angel giving me sign that this was destiny. This was love...

-:-

  that was the only time before 4 months that he spoke to me. After that I never spoke to him or his friends again they kept there distance. Youngjae was my only friend before he just moved a week ago. i almost went into shock seperating from my only friend in all of 16 years. I'll never be the same without him. 

 Also junhong's friends has always been bullies. Yongguk always pushed me into lockers, himchan always stole my clothes out of my gym locker. Daehyun just stole my food and ate it infront of me. 

Now in highshcool he just took the chance to speak to me. It's been 4 months since that happened and I'm officially sick of going over it in my head. 

Finally the bell rings and shcool is over for this year it's now summer break. He stands up walking out if the classroom. I want to go up to him and talk this out so we can be together again. Then it comes back to me why we're not speaking...

1 week ago- 

the bell rings and its time to leave shcool junhong didn't show up to shcool today. Though I figured he wouldn't have a problem with me stopping by his house. To check on him, usually never minds. I can't wait to just hug him again, I couldn't stand being away from him for just a day. 

Seeing him again will give me that bubbly feeling I had like the first time he called me his... "Boyfriend" in front of his friends they were so shocked. Even I couldn't breath for a moment. 

Now I'm walking his direction. Getting closer and closer to his house I stop by the park by the library. I get this sensation to look at the tree we had our first kiss under... Once looking my jaw drops from the sight. 

 My boyfriend junhong kissing yongguk... Under the cherry blossom tree. 

"Junhong"!!! I yelled furiously at him running over to them.

they stopped and junhong stood up facing me. "Jongup, wait I can explain"!! He held his hands out pleading for me to calm down.

"you told me you had the sniffles! I bought you chicken noodle soup and flowers"!!!!

"Jonggie I, I'm sorry, we were just moving so fast and I-- chicken noodle soup really"?

"Well I thought you needed it". My voice cracked because of the tears I couldn't hold back. Yongguk walked over to us.

"Jongup I explained to junhong how I always had a crush on him since he was in third grade". Yongguk exclaimed. 

"Third grade, really!!! Junhong I thought you loved me"???!?!? I whined loudly.

"no you loved me. I'm sorry but... I can't do this anymore. It's over"  he turned around and walked off. Dropping my back of chicken noodle soup and flowers. i grabbed him in hug, crying into his back.

"Don't leave me just tell me what I did wrong"? 

"Dude, you're doing it right now". Yongguk replied for him. 

Junhong pulled my arms off of him and walked with yongguk into the sunset... 

-:-

 That moment I will never forget... 

"Junhong"?? I called him from across the campus. 

He looked at me ready to walk over then his current boyfriend yongguk comes to him and puts his arm around his waist kissing him on the cheek. I still keep composure and walk to him...

"hey jongup" the love of my life says.

"hey uppie" yongguk half hearted replies. 

"What do you wanna say". Junhong barely makes out while yongguk is busy snuggling in his neck. 

"You guys make a cute couple, and... I ing hate you"!  

 I immediately walk off into the distance making my way to the bus stop home.

 I hold the tears as much as I can until the bus passes the park with the cherry blossom tree. The hot tears feels as if they're burning my face. And I look out the window at the blossoms flying in the wind... Waiting for this day to end. 

 

 

 

dear choi junhong

thanks for breaking my heart...