PART I

"What is it like?" he whisphered to Jongin.

"What's what like?" Jongin whisphered back.

It took a moment before Sehun processed the words, although it came up to his mouth unintentionally.

"Being abandoned? You know, before we even met?" Jongin's smile faded, pushing himself away a little on Sehun's earlobes.

"Depends," was all he had to say. The memory of his mother came rushing through him like waves on tsunami's.

"How come it depends?" Sehun asked stubbornly. They had an agreement not to push this topic, but somehow his curiosity was non stop and wasn't easily ignored. Staring at his boyfriend, Jongin looked at Sehun's lips with great lust.

"Does is really matter?" Jongin asked, trying to ignore his lust over his boyfriend's sweet lips. That was his way of forgetting.

"Yeah, I guess so. But, hey! Tell me..."

Staring at the quarter moon, Jongin snapped back to his senses. "Well, to tell you the truth, because I love you, being abandoned depends upon the person being abandoned. If it's in my condition, well, I lived in to that. I easily slip the problem away because I have a job, an apartment to pay, and food to eat. Sometimes it really helps me forget. It's amazing really, how simple things can help you forget the things that hurts you the most," Jongin explained, tugging his boyfriend closer to him.

"I guess that make sense," Sehun said, closing the topic away with a kiss on Jongin's lips. They stayed like that until Sehun got himself knocked of by his gaze; the cold summer air teasing him more, making him sleep.

Brushing Sehun's colorful hair, Jongin can't help but to think of the man he just met this morning. The thought was powerful; it was hard not to think of it due to the eyes that marks into his mind. 

Laying Sehun's head onto his lap, he gazed at his beautiful boyfriend. 

Tears dropped onto Sehun's cheeks. It took a moment for Jongin to realize that the tears were his. He was losing him, and they have nothing to do but to live their relationship to the fullest. 

Pity washed over Jongin's mind as he told himself to be brave. 

But then the thought of being abandoned visited him once again.

Once Sehun leaves him, can he still be braver like he used to be?

Now that the probability of Sehun's death is out of his hands...

He just couldn't afford to think more.