The entire drive back to the dorm was silent. The radio was obviously not a choice, and Kangin decided that he would let Donghae make the first move if he wanted to speak, but he never did. Instead, he stared gloomily out of the window.

 

When Kangin unlocked the front door to the dorm, Donghae dropped his bag and then just ran straight into his room.

 

“Donghae?” called out Kangin kicking off his shoes before following after him.

 

He walked over to the closed door and knocked.

 

There was no answer.

 

“Donghae-ah,” he said trying the door handle only to find it was locked. “Wha—Donghae! Open the door!”

 

There was no movement inside.

 

“Hae, you can’t lock yourself in here and just cry yourself to sleep! You don’t even now the truth yet! All of this is based off of what some DJ said and you’re letting it completely break you down! Come on, either you come out or unlock the door so that I can come in! Let’s just talk about it some more!”

 

There was still silence.

 

“Fine, but I’m calling Hyukjae and I’m telling him to come down here as soon as possible. You will talk to him, I’ll see to that,” said Kangin pulling out his phone.

 

As he waited for Eunhyuk to answer his phone he realized the rest of the dorm was incredibly quiet. All of the other members must have already left for their weekend plans or gone out for dinner.

 

He sighed as he got Eunhyuk’s voicemail.

 

Hanging up he looked at the door again.

 

“Donghae-ah…please don’t do this to yourself,” he sighed softly.

 

Finally convinced that Donghae was not going to emerge from his room anytime soon, Kangin put his hand on the door.

 

“I’m going down to the studio to look for Hyuk, okay? If you need anything, just call me, all right?”

 

He took his silence for a yes and then walked back over to put his shoes on.

 

When the door closed with a lock, Donghae finally closed his eyes. He was laying down on his bed with his knees drawn close to his chest as the tears in his eyes finally released themselves once again.  This time, comforted by the isolation of the dorm, he didn’t hold back.

 

How could Hyukkie do this to me…I thought he loved me…you don’t do this to someone you love…all of these years were just…all of the touches…the smiles…did they really mean nothing to him…once I can forgive…but twice…what am I supposed to do…

 

He wasn’t sure how long he had been laying there when his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a door chime.

 

Opening his eyes, he frowned because his vision was still blurry. As he blinked, residual tears cascaded down the bridge of his nose, ending as small stains on his sheets.

 

He swallowed hard, frowning at the burning he felt in his throat.

 

Putting his hands to his face, he rolled over onto his back, exhaling deeply as he tried to erase the evidence of his tears.

 

But it wasn’t until he heard his name called out by that familiar voice, that voice that in one day had promised both pleasure and pain, that his entire body went rigid.

 

“Donghae!”

 

Eunhyuk kicked off his shoes and quickly scanned the apartment. His mind was racing with anger, adrenaline and sadness at the events that had unfolded today. But right now he had just one goal: to find Donghae.

 

“Hae!” he cried again walking over to their room when he saw no sign of him in the rest of the apartment.

 

When he tried the handle he found that it was locked.

 

“Hae, baby, I know you're in there! Let me in please, we need to talk!” said Eunhyuk jiggling the handle, his voice shaky from nerves.

 

Donghae glanced towards the door and then rolled back over to his side, shaking his head into the pillow.

 

“Hae…Kangin hyung called me. He told me what happened…I can’t believe you thought any of that garbage was true for even a second. You know me Hae…I love you,” said Eunhyuk placing his head on the door.

 

Donghae squeezed his eyes shut, trying to focus on anything else other than Eunhyuk’s words.

 

“Baby please, I can’t do this through the door. I need to see you, to know that you're alright, said Eunhyuk backing away and trying the handle again.

 

“Just go away,” Donghae mumbled.

 

“Hae?!” Eunhyuk called out bringing his ear to the door.

 

When he didn’t hear anything else he suddenly grew more determined.

 

“Hae please open this door now or—or I’m going to break it down!” said Eunhyuk banging his fist on it.

 

Donghae jumped at the sound of the bang.

 

Before he had time to decide if he was bluffing or not, Eunhyuk threw his body against the door, making it rattle.

 

Afraid that he might actually break it down and hurt himself, Donghae quickly scrambled off of the bed and unlocked the door.

 

Hearing the click, Eunhyuk immediately opened the door and stepped in.

 

When he saw Donghae standing there with tear stained cheeks, he rushed forward and cupped his face.

 

“Hae, are you okay? Kangin hyung told me you took it really hard. I just want you to know that—

 

Donghae brought his hands to cover Eunhyuk’s before he pulled them away from his face and walked back over to the bed with his head low.

 

He was exhausted from crying, and it had genuinely felt good to be held by him, but his emotions refused to let him enjoy the moment.

 

Eunhyuk paused and watched him with a frown.

 

“Hae, why wont you let me hold you?” he asked, with a tinge of hurt laced in his voice.

 

 “Why are you apologizing? It’s not necessary,” Donghae said calmly as he shook his head.

 

“Well—I know that hearing this hurt you, and I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” Eunhyuk said gently sitting beside Donghae on the bed, confused with his eerie tone.

 

“I’m fine.  Really, don’t worry about it. So uh, I heard that the date is set for October 15^th, right? That’s a perfect day, so easy for all of us to remember. Do I have you to thank for that or her?” asked Donghae with a weak smile.

 

Eunhyuk frowned.

 

“Hae, stop it—what are you talking about? Ji Eun and I are not getting married, so you can stop with this ‘fine’ act, alright? I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry, I don’t know what else I can say right now, said Eunhyuk helplessly.

 

“I’m sorry too. I was hoping you would have asked me to be your best man. But wait, what am I saying, I’m sure her dongsaeng would have been the best man, right? I guess I can only hope that I would have even been invited,” said Donghae with sad eyes.

 

“Hae,” whispered Eunhyuk shaking his head, his own nose and cheeks turning pink.

 

Unable to take the pain he felt any longer, Donghae broke down into breathless sobs, his head falling into his hands.

 

Eunhyuk’s frame broke down watching Donghae bawl beside him. He reached out, trying to pull Donghae into his arms but was quickly rejected.

 

“No! Don’t touch me!” shouted Donghae standing up and moving to the corner of the room, out of Eunhyuk’s reach.

 

‘Hae why are you doing this?” asked Eunhyuk. “Didn’t you hear anything I’ve said. None of it’s true—

 

“How did it start?”

 

“I don’t know—some fan must have just wrote something on a message board—

 

“Do you love her?”

 

Eunhyuk paused, unsure of what he just heard.

 

“What did you say?”

 

“You heard me,” mumbled Donghae.

 

“No I don’t think so. Because I know you would never ask me something like that. We both know exactly what the answer to that question is.”

 

“I don’t think I know anymore,” shrugged Donghae.

 

Eunhyuk his lips as he scratched the back of his head.

 

“You really think that she and I are a couple Hae? That we’ve been sneaking behind your back all this time. Is that really what you think?”

 

Donghae was quiet.

 

“Answer me!”  yelled Eunhyuk stepping closer to Donghae.

 

“I don’t care! That’s not the point!” said Donghae, exasperated.

 

‘Then what is?! Don’t stand here being numb! Tell me how you feel! I need to hear it!”

 

“Why?! Isn’t it obvious? What difference does me saying the words make?! It doesn’t change how I feel—

 

 Because just standing here and seeing you cry makes me feel so helpless. You won’t let me hold you—you won’t even say my name! You’ve completely cut me off from everything and it’s not fair to you or me! Just please Hae I need you to be honest with me. I know you’re hurting, so don’t keep it bottled up inside!” said Eunhyuk, tears now coming down his cheeks.

 

“What am I supposed to think when I hear something like that?! I was so angry and embarrassed! It’s the second time Hyuk! The first time was bad enough with you half together in bed, but now marriage?!”

 

“I’ve apologized a million times for that photo Hae—I’m still apologizing for it, every day! I know I made a mistake, but I would never make the same one again! I know how you feel about her, that’s why I’ve barely seen her since. But I can’t apologize for this one Hae, because nothing happened! It’s all a lie! You have to believe me!” pleaded Eunhyuk walking closer to Donghae until he was standing before him.

 

Donghae looked down.

 

While he was comforted with how adamant Eunhyuk was about denying this wholeheartedly, he still was overwhelmed with the thought of loosing him.

 

“What is it Hae, I know it has to be more than just something you heard on the radio,” said Eunhyuk softly as he reached out to touch Donghae’s cheek.

 

He was shocked when Donghae finally stepped forward and hugged him tightly.

 

“Tell me Hae, it’s okay, just tell me what has you so scared,” he whispered as he felt Donghae’s body trembling in his arms.

 

It was minutes before Donghae found the strength to voice what he was feeling.

 

“I was so scared that there was a chance I was finally loosing you,” he mumbled.

 

“My sweet baby Hae, why would you ever think that?” he asked his hair.

 

“I always feel that way. Every day Hyukkie. You're everything to me and I’m so scared that one day you’re going to either find someone else or get tired of how clingy I am or—

“Hae, listen to me,” said Eunhyuk pulling away so that he could look into Donghae’s eyes. “That will never…never happen.”

 

“I think it’s my fault,” said Donghae softly.

 

“What is?” asked Eunhyuk pulling him to sit on the bed.

 

“Why I’m so upset…you’re my best friend Hyukkie—

 

“You're mine too Hae—

 

“No, let me finish,” pleaded Donghae and Eunhyuk nodded.

 

“I don’t know when it happened, but for as long as I can remember, I’ve been caught up in loving you. I know you always joke about our skinship, but for me, it’s just so much more than that. I have to touch you…kiss you…hold you…it brings a peace to me that I can’t describe. You’re like oxygen for me, and I can’t…I don’t know how I could function without you there. When you grab my hand, or even just stand next to me…it’s like I feel shivers running up and down my spine. And I’m just lost in my own world wondering when the next moment we’ll have together will happen.”

 

Eunhyuk took his hands as he watched Donghae continue.

 

“My favorite part of every day is waking up in your arms. That first smile you give me…it just…” Donghae smiled to himself as Eunhyuk the back of his head. “You have no idea what your smile does to me.”

 

“Tell me Hae, I want to know,” he said gently with a smile.

 

 “It just makes everything better Hyuk. All of the small things you do, things you probably don’t even realize, are like magnified in my heart, and that’s what makes the thought of loosing you hurt so much. What’s going to happen if you aren’t there to smile at me, or take my hand, or watch me from the corner of your eye? I hope I never have to find out. But even if you did leave…I just know that I’d wait a lifetime for you to come back.”

 

Donghae finally looked over at Eunhyuk who was wiping the tears from his eyes.

 

“I’m sorry,” whispered Donghae hugging him.

 

“No Hae, I’m sorry. I feel like I’ve failed you!” said Eunhyuk hiding his face in Donghae’s neck.

 

“That’s impossible Hyukkie.”

 

“You put so much faith in me to not hurt you and look what I’ve done. How is that not failure? This is the second time her name has brought you to tears and I promised the first time that it would never happen again—what kind of boyfriend am I?”

 

Donghae could only hold him as it was Eunhyuk’s turn to sob now.

 

“What are we supposed to do now?” asked Donghae softly.

 

“We have to go,” Eunhyuk finally said, as he pulled away from Donghae’s embrace.

 

“What? Go where?” asked Donghae frowning.

 

“Our plans for the weekend, we have to go,” said Eunhyuk looking at the clock in the room.

 

“Hyukkie maybe we should just forget it, I don’t think I want to go anymore,” said Donghae shaking his head.

 

“Hae please, we need to get out of Seoul, we need to get away from this. It’s only going to get worse before it gets better,” said Eunhyuk taking Donghae’s face in his hands again, “ let’s just go to the mountains, hide ourselves away, and move on past this. Please, please, please.”
 

Donghae smiled at his eagerness and then he nodded, “okay.”