“Finally.  What took you so long, I’ve been waiting since morning.”

His second question wakes me from my thoughts and I say, “Oh, uh, I just thought I’d let you get some rest, Hyung.  I know how tired you’ve been lately and I figured you could use some down time alone.”

He shifts so he’s lying on his back and slowly opens his eyes.  Dark eyes with the depth of black holes and kindness to match look up at me.

“And, so?  Since when would my wanting down time mean you couldn’t be there?  I want time alone, but that doesn’t include you,” he says simply.

I’m still so unused to his directness when it comes to his feelings for me.  He’s always been straightforward with those closest to him, and I was no different, except when it came to that one topic.  Now, just recently, after years of actions which spoke louder than his words, we’d finally gotten to this place.  It was exactly what I wanted to hear, without my knowing it.  A hint of a smile crosses my lips, and my eyes look down to find his own.

“Ah, right.  I let myself in earlier and found you on the couch asleep with the tv still on.  Hyung, you have to be careful, you could have hurt your neck sleeping like that,” I say because I have no clue how else to respond.

He frowns slightly but doesn’t say anything.  Instead he nudges his head upward repeatedly, silently.  I’m confused as to what he wants, when I realize my hands are still in his hair.  He wants me to continue running my hands in his hair?  I wordlessly comply and hope that I’ve guessed right.

I must have because his frown eases somewhat before he says, “It’s your fault, I fell asleep waiting for you to come.  I got out of bed early thinking we’d spend the day together, but must have dozed off before I could call to ask where you were.  I think I got distracted by a Pororo commercial and the song lulled me to sleep.”

I’m amused at his explanation, but guilt passes over my face as I hate to do anything that disappoints him, which he sees right away.

“But, you’re here now.  And because of you, I’ve woken up in the best way I have in quite a while.  It feels so good, thank you, Daesungah,” he immediately adds with a smile.

A blush on my cheeks betrays how pleased I am that I’ve made him happy.  I continue his hair, letting my fingers lightly scratch his scalp.  He hums in appreciation, and I find myself wanting to do anything else that would coax that sound from him again.  His bluntness must be rubbing off on me because I find one thought stuck in my throat.

“Hyung, what was the other good way that last woke you up?”  I replay the words in my head, they seemed to make less sense, but I can tell he understands exactly what I was saying.  It’s his turn to blush, and he moves to get up, but I’m not letting him get away that easily.  I use my hands to keep him in place, and he glances up at me with embarrassed panic written across his features.  I mimic a look he’s given me a thousand times and raise an eyebrow down at him. 

He takes a deep breath and reaches for my left hand which he holds to his chest as he answers, “Well, uh, it was a couple of weeks ago, a dream that woke me up.”  His eyes closed, he continues, “It was just a regular day at home.  Nothing special, I was just walking from room to room.  Except it was our home, and I could see little pieces of our life together.  There were frames with pictures of our friends and family with us.  I remember walking past the door and seeing both our shoes cluttering the entryway.  There were two phone chargers on the dresser, right next to bottles of our favorite colognes.  The closet was stuffed with our clothes – your sweatpants and my jackets.  And then, I walked into the living room and saw you in the balcony.  You turned to face me and you looked different.  Older and so-“

“That’s what woke you up?  What I look like in ten years?” I couldn’t help it, my pride over my skin care triggered a reaction that somehow trumped the crazy beating of my heart.

“No!  I woke up because you looked different, but not just older.  You looked so happy, so content.  You looked at me and you smiled a smile no one has ever given me before, not even my mom.  But, you weren’t doing anything in particular, it was just something you were used to.  I woke up because I realized I was the reason for that smile.  I woke up with a smile on my face that rivalled yours, and that is saying something,” he virtually pushes the words out of his mouth and stares at me hesitantly.

I have so many bursts of thoughts and exclamations in my mind, I don’t even know how to react.  So I do the first thing that comes to mind and bend down and kiss him. 

It’s soft, innocent, surprising, wonderful. 

It’s the first time.  

It couldn’t be more perfect.