“Hey! Yongguk!”

 

A voice came into Yongguk’s ears and he tried to block it out. His head felt like someone just took an axe and planted it in the middle of his skull. It hurt so badly.

 

“Ya! Bang Yongguk!”

 

The voice rang in his ears again like a thousand chimes ringing. Yongguk growled angrily at the person speaking but didn’t bother to open his eyes. What happened last night? He didn’t remember one single thing. He tried to recall what he did the night before but couldn’t concentrate because one second later a bucket of ice cold water was dumped on top of his head.

 

“AHHHHHHHHHH” Yongguk yelled out as his body shot up from the bed he was laying on.

 

His body was shivering and he was wide awake now. He looked around confused and furious but his eyes soften when it landed on a person standing on his left side. It was his best friend, Kim Himchan. Yongguk furrowed his eyebrows at Himchan and gave him a scowl.

 

“Why the heck did you do that? Are you crazy?” Yongguk asked Himchan.

 

The expression on Himchan’s face didn’t change one bit as he looked at Yongguk.

 

“So… you’re finally awake now.” Himchan smirked at him and set the bucket down on the side of the bed.

 

Yongguk grunted at Himchan but he didn’t care and handed a cup of cold water to Yongguk. Yongguk realized just how dry his throat was and devoured it all in one gulp. He then handed it back to Himchan and gave him a small thanks as he wiped some water running down his chin. Himchan nodded and put the glass back on the bedside table. Yongguk squinted his eyes at the bright light coming from bulb on the ceiling. His head seriously felt like it was going to explode.

 

“What happened last night?” he asked Himchan in a quiet voice.

 

“I was gonna asked you the same thing.” Himchan replied, “I came home last night just to see you on the front steps of my door. You were half asleep Yongguk, and your breath reeked of alcohol.”

 

Himchan sounded concerned which made Yongguk worry. If Himchan didn’t know what happened to him then how would he know? He might have done something stupid, really stupid. He wasn’t a good drinker and the only time he got drunk was in college. Last night could have been the second time and judging from the consequences from his first time, it wasn’t going to be pretty.

 

“You can try to remember later, don’t stress too much about it now because you’re still having a hangover. I mean how much trouble could you have gotten into right?” Himchan laughed which made Yongguk feel a slight bit more calm and sure of himself.

 

“Yeah you’re right.” Yongguk laughed but regretted because his head started to buzz again. He massaged his temples and let out a small “aish”.

 

“I bought you some hangover soup. It’s already cold so let me microwave it for you. Change out of those clothes and come downstairs.” Himchan said and left the room.

 

Yongguk felt so thankful that he had a friend like Himchan. What would he do if he didn’t have someone to help him out of these situations? However, Yongguk couldn’t help but think that he was forgetting something important. He tried to search for it but didn’t remember anything. He must have gotten really drunk last night.

 

“Damn…” Yongguk whispered to himself.

 

Yongguk slowly put his feet down onto the cold floor and tried to get himself up. He headed for the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes widen at the sight of himself.

 

He looked like a mess.

 

Yongguk looked at himself closely in the mirror not recognizing who he saw. It was like there was a completely different person staring back at him. What shocked him the most was the scar on his right cheek. He looked closer and saw that the blood had dried from the wound. He became even more curious when he took off his shirt and saw scratches on the upper part of his back. He stared at himself in the mirror bewildered that such a thing would happen to him. His hand touched the wound on his face and he hissed out in pain. He made sure to ask Himchan for some first aid later.

 

Yongguk stepped into the shower and let the hot water run down his back. He slowly ran his fingers through his wet hair and let his muscles relax. He closed his eyes and let out a small sigh.

 

“I’m never getting drunk again.”

 

When Yongguk changed into the clothes he borrowed from Himchan he noticed that the knuckles of his right hand was scratched and also had severe wounds on it. He quickly ran down the stairs and entered the kitchen where Himchan was.

 

“Do you have any first aid?” Yongguk asked him worriedly.

 

“Yeah, I just bought some this morning to take care of that would on your face.” Himchan said and quickly ran to get it. “Sit down. Let me treat it.” Himchan ordered and Yongguk obeyed immediately.

 

Since Himchan’s father used to be a doctor he was good with these kinds of things. Yongguk on the other hand knew nothing about medicine and treatments. Yongguk sat still as Himchan took out a cotton ball and pour some liquid on it. He slowly raised his hand closer to Yongguk’s cheek and Yongguk hissed when the cotton ball made contact with his wound.

 

“Stop being such a baby.” Himchan said in amusement. “This is what you get for making me lose my date last night.” Himchan smirked as he kept on dabbing the wound.

 

Yongguk smiled, “You bring home girls every night. How does one make a difference?”

 

“I felt a different connection with her all right? She could have been the one.” Himchan said sounding a bit offended.

 

Yongguk scoffed, “The one? Since when did Kim Himchan settle for one person? You were probably just going to dump her after you sleep with her.” 

 

Himchan purposely dabbed the cotton harder this time which made Yongguk cry out in pain. “Ow!” he could feel tears in the corner of his eye as he pulled his face away from Himchan’s hand. “What did you did that for?” Yongguk furrowed his eyebrow.

 

“Sit still, I’m trying to help you!” Himchan said not caring about Yongguk’s pain. He continued treating Yongguk’s wound and the room was filled with silence. After Himchan put a bandage on Yongguk’s face wound Yongguk showed him his knuckles. Himchan’s eyes widen but returned to normal after one second and he kept on working.

 

Yongguk felt a little uncomfortable with the silence until Himchan spoke up: “I’m not like that.” Yongguk looked at Himchan with confused eyes.

 

“Not like what?”

 

“I’m not a player like you think. I don’t treat women like trash like that.” Himchan said in a low voice. Yongguk was surprised when Himchan brought this topic up.

 

“I know, I’m sorry.” Yongguk said looking down at his hand. 

 

 

“I just envy you and Yoonhee, you guys are made for each other.” Himchan said and gave Yongguk a small smile.

 

Yongguk’s face stiffened and Himchan’s smile faded. “What’s wrong?” Himchan asked him. Yongguk’s face was still and his eyes widen when Himchan mentioned Yoonhee’s name. Yoonhee… Yoonhee… last night… anniversary… it was all coming back to him. The thing he was searching for all morning was now clear to him.

 

He remembered.

 

Yongguk stood up causing the chair he was sitting on to fall over which startled Himchan. The wound on his hand was still being treated but Yongguk didn’t care about it one bit. The only thing on his mind right now was Yoonhee, his lover.

 

“Hey what are you doing?” Himchan asked Yongguk as he put on his sneakers and a jacket.

 

“I… yesterday… I totally forgot…” Yongguk couldn’t get himself to make a proper sentence because he was panicking so badly. How could he forget about his and Yoonhee’s one year anniversary? How could he be so careless?  Yongguk wanted to punch himself in the face for how stupid he was being.

 

Little did he know things were way more complicated than him forgetting their date.

 

Himchan looked at Yongguk confused and lost.

 

“What are you murmuring about?” he asked Yongguk frustrated that he didn’t know what was going on. 

 

“I forgot my one year anniversary with Yoonhee last night!” Yongguk finally managed to spit out.  Himchan looked at Yongguk with wide shock eyes. 

 

“But… but you never forget anything when it comes to Yoonhee. How could you forget such a big event?” Himchan asked Yongguk in a loud voice which made Yongguk wince. 

 

“Aish be quiet…” Yongguk groaned. His hangover was still bothering him. “I don’t know what happened, how could I forget?” Yongguk furrowed his eyebrows. Himchan looked at him with obvious disappointment in his eyes.

 

“How can you be so careless Yongguk?! You worked so hard on your relationship with Yoonhee! She loves you!” Yongguk was hurt by Himchan’s sudden raise of voice but he couldn’t blame him. It was Yongguk’s fault after all.

 

 

“I have to go to her house to apologize right this moment.” Yongguk said as he exited Himchan’s house.

 

“Take my car, you won’t be able to run there you know.” Himchan called after him and threw Yongguk his car keys. Yongguk catched it in one swift movement and rushed to Himchan’s car.

 

“Thanks Himchan!”

 

As Himchan closed the door behind himself he sighed. “Yongguk… you fool.”

 

 

Yongguk quickly opened the car door and flopped on the driver’s seat. He hurriedly put the car keys in but his hand was shaking so bad he couldn’t get them in. “Damn it!” Yongguk cursed himself. When he finally started the car he stepped on the accelerator and drove as fast as he could. He needed to see Yoonhee, he needed to apologize to her. Yongguk took out his cellphone and dialled Yoonhee’s number. He put it next to his ear in hope that Yoonhee wouldn’t be mad at him and pick up.

 

“Please… pick up… pick up…” he pleaded into the phone but after two rings a beeping sound came and he was cut off. Yoonhee just hung up on him.

 

Yongguk looked at the phone in his hand with a heartbroken expression on his face. He couldn’t believe it, Yoonhee was so mad at him she hung up. Yongguk threw the phone on the seat beside him and kept on driving. He could feel his eyes getting watery and his heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest.

 

Yongguk was never a really emotional person but to have his lover hang up on him like that just broke his heart. He didn’t want to see Yoonhee mad, she was everything he had.

 

When Yongguk finally got to Yoonhee’s house he parked the car and quickly got out. He put the keys in the pockets of his jeans (or Himchan’s jeans) and ran inside the apartment building. Yongguk pressed the elevator button a million times but was too impatient to wait for it so he decided on the only thing he could do, he ran up the stairs. Yongguk knew it was crazy and stupid to run up 12 flights of stairs but he couldn’t take it. When he finally got to Yoonhee’s floor he was huffing and puffing his breath out.

 

Yongguk stood in front of Yoonhee’s door, number 1206. He straightened up and fixed his hair trying to make himself look at least presentable. He doubts it would make a difference when Yoonhee saw the bandage on his face though. Yongguk raised his left hand and rang the doorbell to Yoonhee’s apartment.

 

His heartbeat was going a thousand miles per hour and he could feel how nervous he was. Yongguk waited patiently for Yoonhee, 1 minute, 2 minutes, 5 minutes.

 

Where was she?

 

He rang the doorbell again thinking she didn’t hear it, and again, and again. 30 minutes has passed since Yongguk arrived at Yoonhee’s apartment and he was getting worried.

 

“Did she go out? It’s only 8 am where could she have gone?” Yongguk said with a hint of desperation in his voice.

 

He tried calling her again but no matter how hard he tried Yoonhee would always hang up. Yongguk knows for sure that Yoonhee is ignoring him on purpose.

 

“Yoonhee ah!” Yongguk yelled out in front of her door. “Please come out! I know you’re in there! Please let me explain.” Yongguk started pleading and begging for her but nothing, not one single sound.

 

After countless minutes of begging and countless complaints from the neighbours Yongguk’s hopes started to fade. He put his palm flat on Yoonhee’s door and his forehead met the surface of the door.

 

“Please Yoonhee, I’m begging you…” his voice started drifting off as Yongguk once again tried to stop the tears that are threatening to fall.

 

Yongguk slid down the door and sat there as he waited for Yoonhee to come. He closed his eyes and tried to remember what happened last night again. He remembered that it was the night Daehyun got a promotion and they went for a couple of drinks to celebrate. Yongguk denied them by saying he already had dinner plans with Yoonhee since it was their one year anniversary. He had dressed up in a suit just for that special occasion and in his pocket was the gift he was going to give to Yoonhee, a ring with her name on it. He had that ring especially made for Yoonhee. That’s how much he cares about her. Where the ring was right now though, he didn’t know. All he knew was that Youngjae had somehow convinced him to go for a drink with them and Yongguk agreed.

 

“Just one.” 

 

He remembered himself say. 

 

“Just one… Yongguk why are you so stupid?” Yongguk thought to himself as he gritted his teeth.

 

Yongguk didn’t remember what happened after he got drunk so he just assumed that he passed out somewhere and Daehyun brought him to Himchan’s house. That was the only explanation he could come up with.

 

On the other side of the door, Yoonhee stood there, sobbing silently into her hand. She has been standing there ever since Yongguk first knocked on her door and she never left the spot. She has been looking out the peephole every five minutes just to check if Yongguk was still there but never got the courage to open that door. After what happened last night, Yoonhee doesn’t even know if she should trust Yongguk anymore let alone be in the same room with him.

 

She looked out the peephole again wondering why it was so quiet all of the sudden. Maybe Yongguk has left already? When she looked out she didn’t see anyone and didn’t hear a sound that indicated Yongguk was still there. She sighed in relief.

 

He finally left.

 

But something inside of Yoonhee wished that he would have stayed there until she opened the door. Maybe Yongguk was sick of her? Maybe he didn’t wait because he didn’t care about her anymore. Well… it doesn’t matter now anyways. He was already gone. Yoonhee put her hand on the doorknob and turned it. She needed to go buy some breakfast.

 

On the other side of the door Yongguk felt a nudge on his back and he looked up. Yoonhee was finally opening the door! He stood up immediately and waited for Yoonhee to open it completely. When he saw her beautiful face he cried out in happiness and hugged her tightly.

 

“Yoonhee ah! Yoonhee ah I’m so glad you opened it! I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry I missed our date…” Yongguk said into Yoonhee’s ear as he embraced her tightly in his arms. He was so happy that she finally decided to open the door for him.

 

Yoonhee on the other hand was shocked and scared. She had no idea Yongguk was still here outside her door and what shocked her more was that he sounded like nothing happened yesterday. She wanted to push him away and slam the door in his face but couldn’t, the feeling of being in Yongguk’s hold was the best feeling in the world.

 

Yoonhee’s hands slowly travelled up Yongguk’s back and she was about the hug him back but she remembered something. A flash came through her mind.

 

She could see plates breaking, glass digging into her skin, slaps thrown at her from different directions.

 

She pulled away from Yongguk and pushed him off her harshly. She looked at him with frightened eyes that look like they were going to burst out in tears. Her heart started racing when she saw Yongguk’s face. The bandage on it must have been from her doing. She could see Yongguk’s shocked eyes staring straight back at her.

 

“Yoonhee ah, what’s wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?” Yongguk took a step closer to Yoonhee and she backed off from him immediately.

 

“No! Stay away!” she cried out.

 

Yongguk stood there with a stunned look on his face.

 

“Yoonhee ah… wait…” Yongguk reached his hand for Yoonhee but she ran into the apartment shutting the door violently behind her. Yoonhee thought she had shut it but Yongguk was fast enough to put his foot in the entrance and stopped her. Yongguk squeezed his eyes shut when he felt the pain from his foot.

 

“Yoonhee… please…” he tried to push his way into the apartment but Yoonhee wasn’t letting the door go.

 

“No! Go away! Leave me alone! Go! I don’t want to see you!” Yoonhee yelled out at Yongguk as tears streamed off her pale face. She was so scared of Yongguk that she couldn’t even look at him. The trust they had built the past year was already broken.

 

When Yoonhee’s powerful words hit Yongguk’s ears his eyes opened wider and wider. He knew that he had made a mistake by breaking their date but he didn’t know Yoonhee would be so upset. Why was she like this? He wanted to explain to her that it was his fault, he was stupid, and he broke his promise. He wanted her to forgive him, he wanted to tell her he loves her, he needed to tell her he loves her. But none of this was coming out of his mouth. Why? Yongguk didn’t know.

 

All he knew was that Yoonhee hated him right now.

 

“Yoonhee why are you being like this?” Yongguk asked her ignoring the screaming pain from his foot.

 

Yoonhee opened her blurry eyes and stared at the door in disbelief. Why was she being like this? How could Yongguk ask such a question? Has he seriously forgotten everything that happened last night? No, who could forget that awful night? Was he pretending to forget just to get her to forgive him? Yoonhee felt disgusted that she would think such a thing about her lover. Yongguk would never pretend to forget something like that… would he?

 

“Yoonhee, please stop this. Please let me talk to you.” Yongguk continued to plead.

 

Yoonhee gritted her teeth as the tears flow from her eyes. She had just stopped crying this morning and now even more tears were rolling down her cheeks.

 

She wanted to stop them from falling.

 

Drop

 

She wanted to forget about this whole thing.

 

Drop

 

She wanted to forget she ever even loved Yongguk.

 

Drop

 

 She wanted him…

 

Drop

 

…to disappear.

 

Yoonhee stopped pushing on the door and let go of the handle. Yongguk sighed out in relief that the pain from his foot was taken away. He slowly pushed the door open and saw Yoonhee’s face in tears.

 

Her eyes were bloodshot. It looked like she has been crying a lot. Her face was no longer filled with happiness, it was filled with sorrow. Sadness took over those beautiful brown eyes of hers. Her nose was red from all the crying. Yongguk remembered he used to hold Yoonhee’s face with both his hands and kiss her on the nose. “You’re the most beautiful girl in the world.” He remembered himself saying. Her cheeks were wet from the droplets of water falling from her eyes. One after one, tears just kept falling.

 

“Yoonhee…” Yongguk breathed and slowly raised his hand to wipe off her tears.

 

Yoonhee flinched but didn’t do anything. Yongguk’s warm hand brushed on her cheek as he wiped away the tear that had already fallen from her eye. She made small whimpering cries between her tears which broke Yongguk’s heart even more. He wanted to pull her into a hug again but was surprised when he felt a hand on his face.

 

“SMACK!”

 

Yongguk felt a sting on his right cheek and saw Yoonhee’s red palm. He knew exactly what just happened. Yoonhee had slapped him right across the face. When his eyes met hers again he could see something different in her eyes. It looked like anger, anger at him.

 

“Don’t ever show up in front of me again.” Yoonhee said in a cold voice.

 

Yongguk stood there frozen, not able to say anything. He took one step closer to Yoonhee and opened his mouth to say something but was pushed violently in the chest. He was pushed out into the hallway and the door slammed in his face. He stood there for a minute staring at the door of apartment number 126.

 

Yoonhee’s words rang in his mind over and over again.

 

“Don’t ever show up in front of me again.”

 

“Don’t ever show up in front of me again.” 

 

“Don’t ever show up in front of me again.” 

Did she really mean it? Did she really want him to disappear from her life?

 

“Choi Yoonhee… I can’t live without you.”

 

Yoonhee stood in front of the door crying. Her shoulders kept on shaking as she continued to pour her emotions out. So that was it, Yongguk was gone from her life, she said she never wanted to see him again. How stupid of her to do that but Yoonhee thought it was the right thing to do. She didn’t want to end up like her mom, bruised and hurt. No, Yoonhee was never going to end up like that. She promised herself she would never love again and she broke that promise. Now look what happens? How could she be so stupid? How could she be so blind?

 

She slumped down onto the apartment door crying. She lost track of time and space and didn’t even care that Yongguk still might be on the other side of the door. All she wanted to do now was cry until she didn’t have enough energy to cry. Who cares if she pasts out? Who cares if her eyes look bloodshot? Yongguk has hurt her and that she would never be able to love again.

 

In the corner of the door something flashed in the bright sunlight coming from the window. It was right next to where Yoonhee was sitting but she didn’t notice it due to her blurry vision. The object was small and barely noticeable. It was hiding behind the umbrella stand. It was a small golden ring. There was something imprinted on the inside of the ring.

 

It read: “Yoonhee I Love You”.