C H A P T E R 2 [B]

“Y-you… you are that L-lee Donghae?” Hyukjae asked with his eyes blinking repeatedly, as if not completely believing that the beauty in front of him is Lee Donghae – his arm-chair-pen-pal buddy.

Beauty, yes, as soon as Hyukjae saw Siwon and the teen beside him, he felt shivers ran on his body and his heart started to beat erratically, as if it’s going to break Hyukjae’s chest into pieces like how a fragile glass does. His palms were sweating, and so as his body and he felt cold, actually.

The blonde felt himself loss for words as he saw the brunette. It was like his appearance caught his heart at first sight; it’s as if love at first sight was absolutely correct.

But Hyukjae thought, who wouldn’t be caught by Donghae’s dazzling beauty? He thought that it’s a normal reaction, no biggie – but his actions were rather overreacting, and it tells the otherwise.

The brunette is well, naturally brown-haired with this pair of captivating, deep, round eyes that was full of colors. You will find yourself lost as you stared at it, and it will be hard to stop fixing a gaze on it. Donghae has this cute brows – which were furrowed the moment he saw him – probably because of confusion.

The brunette teen was actually checking him out – Hyukjae assumed – judging by those eyes that was boring holes at him, in any part of his body. The blonde felt his legs started to become wobbly as Donghae his lips. The brunette looked so luscious and y yet cute at the same time – Hyukjae had to restrain himself from tackling this guy to the floor with kisses and bites. This cuteness side of Donghae just- it never goes away, like, it’s literally always there, whenever, wherever.

Donghae nodded, with a smile that lit up everything in Hyukjae’s perspective. “Yes, and you’re Hyukjae-ssi, right?” Because it will be embarrassing to the highest energy level of an element if not.

The called teen of course, had to act civilized; but he doesn’t trust his voice at that moment so all he could give is just another nod.

Now Hyukjae knows why Donghae often calls himself perfect.

-

Spending the day blackmailing Siwon was surely fun, and to think that the weird guy was like ‘Oh, I’ll give you money, just please, don’t eat me!’, pity his poor soul. The tallest teen did treated Donghae five extra large fries on McDonalds, and the latter couldn’t be any more happy. Hyukjae, on the other hand, had bought about three to four shopping bags full of clothes. Donghae took a note that Hyukjae is a very fashionista type. He’s picky when it comes to clothes, and he, in fact, likes the branded ones! Though Donghae guessed that the blonde liked Adidas the most, often talks bout Adidas made him think so.

Is he planning to take fashion designing on college?

Donghae and Hyukjae eventually got a long in the middle of their shopping. The funny talks, the cocky acts, the you-should-try-this-dress moments, the serious talks about family and other facts about themselves that they haven’t shared to the other when it’s still the exchanging-letters-through-arm-chairs era. Both were fun to be with; Hyukjae and his sometimes-funny-but-sometimes-not jokes, Donghae, the one who always laugh whether the joke is corny or not. The blonde felt himself glad because someone finally gets the humor of him, unlike his bastard of a best friend named Cho Kyuhyun who did nothing but to make fun of him.

Siwon actually felt like he’s a super duper big third wheel – which was a fact, and so he decided to leave the two to themselves – so far, the greatest idea he had came up. The weird teen bid a good bye to the two, and both showed him their gratitude to Siwon for the treat by giving him a bro-hug and a thank you.

Thinking that it’s still early to leave the mall, because it’s still three in the afternoon and they still got three hours before night arrives. Hyukjae suggested for them to watch a movie and Donghae happily accepted the suggestion. The skinny teen decided to watch the popular horror movie titled ‘Insidious 2’; he isn’t a fan of horror movies and he even sometimes get scared of them but there’s just this tingling feeling inside him telling that you should watch a horror movie so Donghae could cling and hug you for the whole two hours. And the blonde being the obedient boy he is, obeyed his what he think is his conscience.

But instead of Donghae hugging him to death, it seems like the world turned upside down as Hyukjae found himself clinging to Donghae’s arm like the monkey he is and he couldn’t help but to do ear-breaking screams.

-

At the end of the day, the blonde teen apologized to the brunette one, feeling ashamed of his acts on the cinema. How could he act so uncivilized – as if he was a boy living on the mountains who just got down and saw an undeniably scary horror movie. Donghae just laughed and shrugged everything, and he however found Hyukjae adorable – but of course he didn’t said that. Even though it’s fine for Donghae, everything is just way too girly! And to think that he’s not a girl and that he’s supposed to act manly even added to the frustration he felt. Well, there’s no other one to blame other than Hyukjae himself. Who chose the movie?

Hyukjae.

The teen could feel himself banging his own head on the headboard of his bed until his skull started to feel the pain and so he has to stop acting stupid.

Hyuk grabbed his cellphone, unlocking it and typed a message to Donghae.

To: Donghae

From: Hyukjae

Hey! I’m really really sorry for earlier. I hope you didn’t find me annoying ugh, why am I so gay. But seriously, sorry.

Donghae’s phone audibly vibrated in his nightstand. He picked it and saw a message from Hyukjae. The teen couldn’t help but the chuckle again. Why was even Hyukjae giving a big deal over the clingy him? In fact, Donghae found it the other way round from the way Hyukjae thought, and he liked it, very much – but just the hug, not the movie because he was also, in fact, got too scared to break that it broke the record of the amount of terrifying chills when he watched that horror movie he himself doesn't want to remember the title, and lastly he doesn't like the ear-piercing screams. Okay, so Donghae liked how Hyukjae’s high-pitched voice sounded but not the way how it totally killed his eardrums. He has to remind himself again to visit the ENT doctor tomorrow.

-

Two days had passed way too long, as if those days were rocks that weren’t able to be carried away by the wind. It’s just that when you’re excited for something, the day rarely passes by. Though it’s finally Monday now – meaning there will be notes again, and Donghae.

Hyukjae agitatedly jumped out of the bed, ate his breakfast way too fast than the usual and his mom had to remind him to slow down because he might choke on his own food. His usual thirty-minute baths became fifteen, and the one-hour styling of himself became fifteen as well. He couldn’t help but to feel excited, now that he already knew who’s Donghae, and what he looks like.

In the middle of walking from their house to school, Hyukjae thought:

Will we still pass notes by the armchair like how we did in the past?

­Of course, talking in person is more convenient than exchanging letters through armchairs, but Hyukjae will definitely miss the feeling of waiting for a reply, the feeling of anticipating what the other person will write back, and the feeling of being happily distracted on his Social Studies class.

Hyukjae arrived in class, and it was quite surprising that he got late for five minutes! Damn it. He moved way faster than how he usually did and all he had got is a fuming ugly old teacher in front of him. Hyukjae almost placed his earphones back if it wasn’t for the fact that it’ll be rude and it will add to the grudge this teacher feel for him. How could this man just blabber nonsense things over and over again. Hyukjae felt his eyes rolling in sarcasm themselves.

“I’m sorry. It will never happen again Mr. Kim.” He mumbled and dashed to his seat.

Hyukjae took his pen out as the male teacher started on re-capping their lesson last Wednesday. No, Hyukjae won’t take notes – it’ll be a miracle if that happened. He will just simply write a message to Donghae on the armchair like how he usually does.

^❝Hey, it’s really nice meeting you although it was quite unexpected. You’re indeed attractive like how you usually tell me but sorry, I’m more attractive. Hehe Anyway, I would like to apologize again for my attitude on the cinema last Saturday! Oh god, it’s so embarrassing! Should we hang out this weekend as well so it could serve as my apology? Don’t worry, my treat!^❞

As far as Hyukjae knows, he is a stingy guy who doesn’t like sharing anything. But, is he that desperate to hang out with Donghae? It’s not like the other will complain if he will have to use his own money, but- just, why? Sharing is not fun for Hyukjae, and he wonders why he treats Donghae differently. It’s like Donghae can use his money anytime, and he wouldn’t be able to be angry at the brunette.

He doesn’t like to share, but why is it different with Donghae?

Oohh, why is he even giving a damn about it? He just wants to treat a special person he met under (also) special circumstances, no biggie.

No biggie.

-

On Monday, Hyukjae had met Donghae again after their Social Studies class as he saw the brunette’s class waiting outside. Both gave their hi(s) and talked for five minutes until Hyukjae realized that he was, again, late for his next class. Hyukjae raced, fastening his pace (that rhymed). Donghae burst into a series of dying laughs because Hyukjae’s face was absolutely ridiculous and something to laugh for, derp like how internet obsessed bastards say.

On Tuesday, the blonde had read Donghae’s reply to his note and like what he expected, Donghae agreed to hang-out with him. They met each other again after the bell rang and Donghae has to tell Hyukjae that he should stop apologizing because it’s really nothing (and he liked it, in fact). The skinny teen gave him a shy chuckle with his cheeks blushing, and Donghae thought it’s somewhat kind of adorable to the extreme level. Due to shyness, Hyukjae bid good bye to him immediately and ran for his life on his next class, forgetting the fact that he wants to invite Donghae for lunch.

On Wednesday, Hyukjae had pasted a piece of paper on his forehead, with text written in his messy handwriting just to remind himself that he must invite Donghae for lunch. The teen, nevertheless, remembered. Donghae agreed and oh, the disaster Hyukjae went into when the brunette finally met Kyuhyun. Both had get along with each other, to the point that Kyuhyun announced that Donghae was his favorite hyung all over the cafeteria! And then there’s our poor Siwon who was the reason why they unexpectedly met, pouting in all his mighty lips could because his angel isn’t even acknowledging that he was there.

Weekend came, and so as other weekends until it’s finally winter. Those weekend hang-outs became their habit of them already but usually, they will just spend their time in Donghae’s or Hyukjae’s house, watching a movie, doing assignment together or just plainly fooling around like the idiots they are. However, in the middle of those hangouts, Hyukjae felt something new, a new sensation, a new feeling. Those were the shivers when Donghae touches him, the abrupt beating of his heart, the feeling of his stomach twisting, the feeling of just kissing or hugging Donghae and say that he’s perfect in every other way whenever the brunette is fixing himself in front of the mirror.

Is it possible that I like Donghae?

Maybe, maybe I do.

-

Hyukjae slid his hands on the pockets of is jeans as he felt them freezing because of the temperature outside. He blamed himself for forgetting to bring his mittens when he decided to buy stuffs in the mall.

It was the 21^st of December, Christmas Eve was nearing, and Hyukjae decided that he should give Donghae a gift even if the other wouldn’t bother to give one. He just wants to see Donghae’s eyes glimmer and for those lips to stretch in the biggest, most beautiful grin he could ever see. It’s just priceless when Donghae was happy! And Hyukjae couldn’t be even more glad if he was the reason why Donghae is happy.

He already accepted the fact that he likes Donghae, but not something deeper than just a like. He couldn’t find the courage to confess though and all he could do is to hiss at himself and utter that he’s such a big wimp. Nobody knows, even Kyuhyun, just Hyukjae himself and only him.

The blonde browsed stuffs that Donghae will like inside the toy store. Of all the stores, why in a toy store, right? Well basically, even though Donghae is already and eighteen-year-old, he still happened to be somewhat a child at heart and still gapes over toys but most likely, action figures were the ones he likes the most.

Hyukjae remembered Donghae saying something about Iron Man. Donghae is a die-hard fan of the said hero, but he couldn’t just find an action figure of it and he was really disappointed and so he told Hyukjae about it – it’s not like Hyukjae doesn’t know a single thing about Donghae. In the small time span they are together, both had managed to tell everything that happened and are currently happening to them – except that Hyukjae was keeping one single secret from Donghae.

It’s unfair that he couldn’t tell the latter about his feelings, that he couldn’t voice it out but what if Donghae suddenly avoids him?

Donghae isn’t like that! He screamed on his mind as he closed his eyes, grasping on his clothes as he saw his own imagination of Donghae kicking him, staring at him in a weird manner, as if showing that he doesn’t like Hyukjae a bit, even as a friend.

Hyukjae chuckles and thought that he was just a big pathetic bastard. However, his eyes grew wide as he saw a worker on the toy store carrying an Iron Man action figure, placing it on a rack. The blonde beamed a smile, but not that big, and walked through the section to where the worker placed it. As soon as he was in front of the action figure placed inside a box, he immediately gave a hold on it, afraid that someone might take the one and only Iron Man action figure he had saw. Hyukjae gave the toy a tight hug as he carried it till he reached the cashier.

Smiling, he asked the female worker, “Can you please wrap it up for me?”

Much to his liking, she nodded and asked Hyukjae what color he would like to use. Remembering that Donghae likes blue, he mumbled the said color and the cashier started wrapping the toy. Cutting a few parts of the wrapper here and there, taping this and that, and placing a cute ribbon with curls on the edges finished everything. She handed it to the teen and Hyukjae mumbled a ‘thank you’, skipping outside the toy store afterwards.

-

Hyukjae reached home by afternoon after plenty struggles with the snow and the chills it gave. He placed his shoes (that practically looked like a snow-shoe) in the rack before dusting his hands off. The blonde reached the sofa and laid there as his parents greeted him while they continued on sipping on their coffees. The teen greeted them back and then placed the gift under the Christmas tree.

Hyukjae jolted out of the sofa as soon as he heard a phone ringing. Realizing that it was his, he grabbed it from his pocket and fixed a gaze on the caller’s name.

It’s Donghae.

And of course, Hyukjae answered.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Hyukkie.”

The called person could feel his heart racing again, fighting the urge to smile so big as he heard the nickname from the boy he likes the most, but nonetheless, he failed. The usual shivers started running through his body, and Hyukjae had to refrain from sounding like a complete idiot to Donghae, so as much as it was hard to speak without a stutter, he did. “Yes? Why did you called?”

He could hear a groan on the other line and the boy immediately guessed that Donghae must have forgot something again. He chuckled as Donghae started to speak again. “I forgot to tell you something,” Another groan followed, “I forgot to tell you that my family will be here in Mokpo starting from today till the 27^th. So… we couldn’t spend Christmas Eve together. I’m actually disappointed because you are really excited to spend Christmas with me, but… we’re already here,” Hyukjae heard a sigh, “I’m very sorry, Hyukkie! Let’s just spend New Year with each other, okay? And do you want a gift? I know you want! Come on, say it to me and I’ll give it to you.”

With that, Hyukjae’s heart shattered along with his mood.

He stared at the gift wrapped with blue covers, depressed.

"H-Hyukie?"

"No, don't even bother to give me one. Have fun, bye!" The blonde replied and hanged up.

And to think that I even bothered to buy him a gift today and this is… this is all I could get.

Hyukjae let himself fall on the sofa, grabbing a pillow as he covered his face with it, giving muffled growls. His previous jolly mood came down, as if he himself was the winter. It’s as if the season itself was portraying his emotion at that day, or maybe the emotion he will feel for the whole week. Like the winter, his inner self felt cold, empty, as if there’s no other colors he could see or feel other than white. The winter never smiled, and so Hyukjae guessed he will do for the following days.

Why am I even acting like this? It’s really disappointing, and I blame myself for hoping too much but, well, it can serve as his New Year gift instead.

-

December 24.

Christmas Eve.

Hyukjae felt a small breeze of winter hit him as the blankets fell on the bed. He woke up, still not getting to his senses as soon as the cold feeling started to crept on him. The blonde rubbed his eyes for several times, looking at the clock on the night stand beside him afterwards with his slightly swollen eyes.

9:53 A.M | 24-12-13

He grumbled, realizing the fact that it was already Christmas Eve, and Donghae is not there to celebrate with him.

Hyukjae rolled on the bed, finally reaching the edge but he still continued on rolling and fell with a loud yelp from him. He let a dramatic sob escape his lips. All of the things he imagined he will do with Donghae – like going on a small (friendly) date, exchanging gifts, eating with whoever’s family (his or Donghae’s), a sweet talk as they watch the fire on the chimney while it gives them the necessary heat, him and Donghae spending the night together, falling asleep on each other’s arms or he might also find the courage to confess.

All of his hopes were crashed.

And as Hyukjae continues to be a drama king, his phone rang and of course, the kind him answered though he didn’t bothered to look at the caller ID.

“Hello.” He mumbled in a hoarse voice, feeling a pain in his throat that usually happens to him every morning.

“Hyukkie!” Oh, it’s him.

“H-hae?”

“It’s already Christmas Eve. I’m really sorry, Hyukkie.”

Hyukjae smiled, knowing that the brunette on the other line was pouting. Donghae was really childish at some times – or more like always – but nevertheless, Hyukjae liked that side of him. It gives him the feels to ruffle the younger’s hair and kiss him on the cheek just to tell him that he’s very cute. Donghae is perfect in every aspect of him you could look at, even his flaws are perfect – or maybe Hyukjae is the only one of found them perfect. Donghae is perfect as always, and Hyukjae tries to find the reason how Donghae could be like that. It’s unfair that Donghae was perfect in everything he do, that he was perfect even if he has a drool stain on his cheek or even if his face looks oily sometimes, though Hyukjae liked Donghae being defined as a perfection, very much.

Grasping tightly on his phone as he started to shiver, Hyukjae placed the blankets back on his body as he replied, “It’s fine, Hae. You yourself even told me that you’re going to make up for this on New Year, right?”

“B-but… You said… You said I shouldn’t bother to find for a gift…”

Hyukjae huffed. “Hey, you do know that I’m a little hypocrite sometimes,” He stated as he stretched his left arm and legs, a normal morning routine. “And besides, who wouldn’t want a gift.” The blonde chuckled right after finishing his speech.

“So, what would you like as a gift?”

“Anything.” I will like anything that will come from you, even if it’s just a piece of candy.

“Hyukkie!” Donghae whined and the skinny teen could hear a foot stomping on the other line.

“I’m serious. You can give me anything. It’s the thought that counts anyway.”

“Fine.” Donghae mumbled, defeated and bid good bye to Hyukjae when his mom called him for a help on the foods.

“Bye. I hope you wouldn’t give the kitchen a disaster to clean.”

“I’m not that terrible in cooking!”

“Yes, whatever you say, bye.”

-

Most of his family members came, from cousins to aunties and uncles, to grandmas and grandpas, and to his relatives who were been missing in action for so long. Sora, Hyukjae’s sister, was also there. She’s on her last year of college and goes on a dorm so she rarely gets home. Hyukjae missed her, a lot, because Sora used to be his closest buddy, best friend, and his best sister ever – it’s not like he has another sister anyway. College just made the woman very busy and so as soon as Hyukjae saw her stepping inside their house, he immediately ran over and jumped on his sister with a loud ‘Sora noona!’, tackling her with hugs on the floor.

The woman who definitely looks like the girl version of Hyukjae laughed and hugged her brother back.  “Hey Hyukjae, I know that you missed me a lot and I missed you too of course but please, get off me. You aren’t that light anymore.” She whispered and made Hyukjae back to his senses, finally getting off his older sister.

“Noona.” The young teen wailed as he pouted. Donghae’s sickness was really… rubbing on him.

“Oh god Hyukjae, please don’t give me that face.” Sora uttered with a grimace, dusting her clothes off. “Anyway, when did you dyed your hair like that?”

Hyukjae grinned and with an obvious blithe on his tone, he replied, “Since my senior year started! Does it look good?”

The elder scrunched her nose and rubbed it as she looked at Hyukjae with a playful scowl. “You actually looked like a light bulb, a thin, walking light bulb.”

“Noona! How could you!”

“I’m just saying the truth. Ooh, hi mom, hi dad.” The raven-haired woman waved to her parents before giving them a very tight hug, silently saying that she missed them for so long.

“It’s been months? Or maybe years when we saw you. How are you, my baby girl?”

“Dad! I told you to stop calling me like that when I entered high school!”

“But you will always be our baby girl.” Duk Boon, their mom, gave her the usual tender smile. The smile that gives both of them warmth, and Sora definitely missed it.

Sora tried to hide her embarrassment with a grimace and said, “Fine, fine, fine.”

The blonde which was left beside started to laugh and pointed at his sister. “Baby girl. Hehe, baby girl. Hi, baby girl.”

“Shut up, monkey face.”

-

Sora and Hyukjae laid on the bed together, both were staring at the ceiling. It was silent, but after a few minutes, the female spoke.

“Are you dating someone?”

Hyukjae blushed just by the mention of ‘someone’ and Donghae’s face started to show in his head. He closed his eyes and tried to savor the endearing look of the person he’s having a (big) crush at.

“Let me guess,” Sora gave a short pause. “You’re not dating but you had set your eyes on someone right? Right?” She asked in glee.

Hyukjae finally opened his eyes and looked at his sister, giving her a small nod as a deeper shade of red continued on creeping on his face.

“So tell me about him.”

The teen snapped out of his little fantasies and abruptly sat up. “How did you know?” He cried.

“Come on, Hyuk. I know that you’re gay since we’re little kids. You know, the Barbie dolls and Disney Princesses stuffs.”

“B-but… You just forced me to play with you!”

“Oh Hyukjae, I know you liked playing with dolls.”

“Noona.” Hyukjae said with his stern tone and Sora already knew that she should stop by now or else, Hyukjae would have been raging again like what happened when she managed to steal her brother’s well-loved strawberry milk when she’s still in high school. The younger didn’t talked to her for two weeks and Sora had to even kneel in front of him just so Hyukjae will forgive her.

“Okay, I’ll stop. Just tell me things about him.”

And it goes on and on and on, with Hyukjae telling her the list of what Donghae could be, how, how he looks like, how he acts, what are his attitudes, positive or not, what’s Donghae’s family’s status. He didn’t left a single fact about Donghae untold. Even the brunette’s weird liking for toys especially to Iron Man and his obsession to fries weren’t left out. How did they met and knew each other under seriously, very special circumstances. Both even wondered, was the whole thing just a coincidence? Or was fate really did a good role to them? Because the way how they met personally is extraordinary! Maybe just a little though.

“Are you sure you just like him?” Sora asked out of the blue right just after a plenty minutes of silence invaded the room.

Hyukjae’s face made a grimace as he raised one of his eyebrows. “Yes of course. It couldn’t be any deeper than that.”

“But… the way how you talked… how you elaborated all the things about him… how you explained him to me tells me otherwise.”

“But Sora noona, love is really-“

“What do you feel when you’re with him?”

“Uhh… I-I…” Hyukjae stuttered. “I-I… there’s an unfamiliar feeling inside me at first but I eventually got used to it, though it’s still kind of… weird.”

“What feeling? How come it’s weird?”

“Well, it’s just normal for my heart to race so fast when I’m with him because he’s my crush, right? My heart always do when I’m with him. My stomach churns and my body shivers when he touches me. I found it easy to stutter when I’m talking to him sometimes and when our eyes will lock for a moment, my world will stop and I will feel like a frozen cold ice, that all I wish is for that moment to never stop, that for him to never look away and so I could just- Oh god, this is normal because he’s my crush right?” Hyukjae finished with a nervous chuckle, hoping that Sora will nod and agree like the usual.

But what frightened him the most is when Sora absentmindedly shook her head and whispered, “Damn, you are so in love.”

OMG GUYS PLS SMACK FOR TAKING A MONTH TO UPDATE THIS. LOL I'M SORRYYYYYYY! I SHOULD NEVER EVER REALLY SAY I'LL UPDATE ASAP LMAO;;; I hope you guys liked this update!♥ And should I still discuss things with you? Well, obviously, Hyukjae's in love <3333

Anyway, I also want to apologize for my rant earlier bec I was just really pissed to that person lol but I finally calmed down u_u

And another, SS5 Manila. Do I even have to remind you people HAHAHA Just got excited whenever I'm watching the VCR of both SS4 and SS5 bec HELL. I'M GOING TO SEE THIS NEXT MONTH JASHJAHAJDHJA LOL OKAY I SHOULD STOP.

Talk to me on twitter. Hehe I'm kinda being uh whatever ;A;

Comments are very appreciated! ^^