YOUR POV

I continued to sob despite all pain in my body. Everyone was gone and I had no one to talk to. November wouldn't be home until tomorrow, and my family had dispersed themselves and I was left alone. Depression clouded my brain and soon enough I was sitting in the truck feeling numb. I started the engine and drove to the edge of town. Here there was an old railroad bridge that plunged right into the river. I got of the truck and started walking towards the bridge before I could process anything.

As I stood at the edge of the bridge starring down into the dark loomy water, every horrible memory went racing through my mind. The fire, my brother, the beatings, I never belonged, murderer. I screamed in frustration. Then a low ache in my right temple started; faint, but enough to sense something was happening.

I pushed the feeling aside and stared down into the waves.

Just one jump...

I leaned onto my tip-toes and then rocked back. I wasn't ready. I could never be ready for what my mind wanted me to do. Could never be ready for depression to finally push me over the edge.

Skye don't!

"Jiyong I'm so scared. I don't want to do this, but I can't live with him here. He's going to kill me." I sobbed.

Skye you can stop him. Fight back. Tell someone. Please don't do this Skye. You have a whole life ahead of you.

"It hurts Jiyong. My body is in pain. My heart hurts. I can't do this."

Get in the car and drive away Skye. I need you to drive away. Think about your dad.

"What does he care? You think he'd notice when his daughter slips into the deep end? You'd think he would notice the bruises my brother gave me, or how afraid I am of him. But he just doesn't."

Think about November. She's not even here. She'd get home and half to prepare for a funeral! Think about this Skye. This isn't what you want. Get in the car and drive away.

At the mention of November I broke out into ugly sobs. My only friend and I had almost left her all alone. He was right. This isn't what I want, but I couldn't go back to that house with him there. He'd kill me anyway. There seemed to be no better way out.

Get in the car Skye.

I looked longfully down into the river. Deep and dark as it was, I thought I saw the bottom. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. The wind blew and made my tears dry to my face. I inhaled deeply and opened my eyes again. The trees shifted in their fall colors and the river flowed swiftly. Somewhere in the background I heard a singing bird, and all of a sudden the world seemed beautiful again.

I stepped away from the ledge and walked the tracks back to my truck.

Skye?

Yeah.

Are you ok?

I think I will be.

What about your...

I don't know yet, but I'll figure it out.

I pushed back tears, because even though the world seemed beautiful now, I knew the dangers that waited at home. There was still much to deal with, and I had a feeling the whole that I found myself in today, isn't a whole you get out of easily. I've heard that depression is like being swallowed by an ocean. I understand that now. I may find my way off the ocean floor, but there's still thousands of feet ahead of me before I'm out of the water.

I got in the truck and began driving towards home.

Thank you for coming today. I don't like to admit it, but I do need you.

I'll always come for you when you need me.

I smiled despite the heaviness in my heart and drove all the way home with Jiyong humming in my mind.

As I pulled into the driveway, I noticed I was still alone. I walked into the stables and did my chores while conversing occasionally with the man in my head and constantly telling myself that I was crazy.

Once I finished I saddled up Twilight and gallopped out of the barn.

You ride horses?

You can acces any part of my brain, yet you didn't know that?

He laughed and kept silent as I rode towards the one place that I dreaded. Even as I neared the hill I didn't falter. I knew where I had to go to find the answers that I needed. I still had hours of daylight to sit and find the answers. Once the barn came into view, I allowed Twilight to meander around the field as a took a seat on the side of the hill.

Is this where your mom died?

I nodded.

It wasn't your fault you know.

At those words a memory long forgotten popped into my mind.

"Skye sweety, look what I made you." My mother said.

I took the card from her hand and read aloud.

"Darling Skye I love you so.

You are the sunset and the sunrise.

You are the rain and the rainbow.

In times of darkness remember the rainbow after the rain,

The sunrise after the night,

and no matter what,

the Skye always shines somewhere."

I remember now. My mother had written me a poem after she had found me crying in bed. Even though I hadn't told her why, she must have known that it was something serious. After reading the poem I had hugged for an hour. I put in a box for safe keeping. A box that is now underneath my bed collecting dust, I recall.

That was beautiful.

It sounded so faint, but it reminded me that I wasn't alone with my thoughts.

"I need November. She'd know what to do."

Where is she?

"She's at a college visit. She won't be back until tomorrow." Just then I heard galloping from behind me. I turned and expected to see Twilight going crazy, but I saw November unmounting her horse. I stood up and walked over to her.

"Why are you here? I thought you weren't coming home until tomorrow?" I asked.

"Something urgent came up..." November said in a distant voice.

"What's wrong?"

"Listen, I didn't mean to. I told my parents I wanted to come today, and when they asked why I just... I told them about your brother."