July 5^th 2013

Breaking News

  “Exo’s main rapper Park Chan-yeo got killed by a crazy Saesang-fan while trying to go home after ending his schedule. More information coming up as soon as possible, don’t go anywhere.”

   I stayed frozen there looking at the screen ‘no’ was all I could think. Tears falling one after the other. I could barely breath. After a good 10 minutes the news came back on.

Note: Play this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGtJ-71L9RU

News:

“As you can see fans have gathered around the hospital entrance, not believing what has happened tonight. No one can.”

  ‘Snap out of it Linda’ I told my self. I quickly got up and put my shoes on. Still wearing my pajamas I ran to the hospital, with endless tears dropping from my eyes.

  As soon as I got there I saw fans gathering up crying. Holding signs with Chanyeols face on it. The security guard was telling everyone to leave that they couldn’t stay because they were covering the entrance.

  When he said that all the fans quietly separated in two leaving space for people to go in. None of them wanted anyone to get hurt because of them. They just wanted to be there for Chanyeol, even if they never meet him, even if he didn’t know them.

  I was one of them. I sat down on the floor quietly like everyone else. No one said a word the whole night, some fans fell asleep, some stayed awake trying to process what had happened.

  I was one of them that didn’t sleep the whole night. ‘How can such a sweet soul …have left this world ….so soon?’

   The sun was rising and I finally couldn’t take it anymore. I got up and started screaming “20! He was only 20 years old!” I sobbed “ He still had his whole life ahead! How could someone kill such a good person!” My legs feel weak and I dropped to the floor.

   The other fans wanted to confer me but they were to sad to do so.

    I couldn’t believe how many tears I still had to give. I cried and cried crunching up like a rock on the floor.

  About an hour later latter I finally stopped and bowed on the floor facing the hospital “I  know that where ever you are, it’s a good place because you’re a good person. You are really loved, trust me”

  I got up and bowed 90 degree. “ rest in peace”

  With that I went back home. The home I lived by myself. Hello my name is Linda Park and I’m a 19 years old student. I live in a small apartment in Seoul. I moved here by myself from Busan.

 Note: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zps2CNjhEEM

The first time I walked down the streets last year in the beginning of April I saw an angle. I couldn’t believe my eyes, a creature so beautiful.  I felt like time stopped right there and then.

  He didn’t see me, but I saw him.

  A few days after I found out he was an Exo member, a new rookie group. I immediately became his number one fan.

  I couldn’t afford buying things like their calendar, agenda, pen, necklace, ect. 

  On my birthday though Jun 30. I saved up money and bought a Chanyoel necklace, which I never take off.

  I wasn’t a Saesang-fan, more like a quite, almost poor fan.

  All my live I felt that fan girls were ridicules when they said they were in love with some of their favorite idols. But Chanyoel made me change my mind

  I thought ‘you’re just a big fan that’s it. Fan love, no more’. I never felt real love in my life so I’m not sure if what I feel is love but I just know that Chanyoel is the only person that I ever met that can make me happy just by looking at him, just by listening his voice, just by being alive…….

   ‘Now what am I suppose to do?’ I asked myself sitting on the couch facing the window. Without realizing I fell asleep.

In the dream:

I was standing in front of a coffee shop in the middle of the day. Sun shining just like the first time I saw Chanyoel. I saw him, he looked so real and alive. My eyes watered up as I kneel down in the middle of the crowded side walk while stile looking at him.

  He came close to me, looking at me straight in the eyes. “Are you okay?” He asked. I cupped his cheek with my hand, I always wonder how it would have felt. He smiled at me. “How?” I asked and he gave me a confused look “How can something so awful happen to such an innocent person?” He grabbed my hand taking it off his cheek and lifting me up making me stand up.

  “Nothing awful has happened to me. I’m a healthy boy” He said smiling. I wanted to cry all over again when he said that, knowing it was a dream.

   Suddenly everyone disappeared and I was alone on the sidewalk.

   I heard a voice that seemed to be coming from the sky. “ Love is the greatest thing. Your love in specific will do great things in the future. Just don’t miss the opportunity when it comes to you, and choose your moves wisely”

  I woke up and it was night time already.

  I got out to the balcony looking at the sky. “Are you there Chanyoel? Are you alright?” I said knowing I wouldn’t get an answer.

  As I was still looking at the sky I saw a shooting star. I quickly closed my eyes and put my hands together. “Please shooting star. Bring back Chanyoel.” I thought back to the Saesang-fan. If he wasn’t an idol he wouldn’t have died” Oh please shooting star, bring him back to life as a normal person.”