She was just like a noona to him, he would always think to himself. Just a noona. No more, no less. Whenever seeing her on shows, he would always resist the urge to do something more than just a simple hello. He once asked his hyung what he should do, and his hyung gave a suggestion saying to get down on his knees and confessing his undying love to Sooyoung on a live show. Yeah, something like that.

What could he expect anyway? They were hardly even considered acquaintances, since they saw each other probably a few times per year only. He had no longer harboured hope that Sooyoung would like him, and he was perfectly contented with viewing Sooyoung’s fancams and pictures. Until he saw her again.

Myungsoo didn’t know if it was purely coincidence or what, but on a snowy night, while he was on his way to eat supper, he saw her shivering in the cold, eyes on her watch, as if waiting for someone. Biting his lip, he hesitated whether or not to make his way over, then he met Sooyoung’s gaze accidentally. She looked beautiful, which sounded ironic since she was shivering badly as flakes of snow covered her hair and her lips were blue. He nodded his head towards her awkwardly, mentally cursing himself for being such a coward. Picking his courage, he spoke, and was relieved when his voice didn’t sound like a dying dolphin.

“Hi Sooyoung-sshi, why are you out at this late hour?”

“Ahh, I’m out to eat supper!” she gave him a cute smile which left him blushing furiously.

“A-Alone?”

She pouted slightly, then said, “Yeah… None of the girls wanted to go out in this snowy day,” then she looked at me and said excitedly, “I was going to wait for one of my friends to come, but since its late, how about I eat with you and tell her there’s no need to come! I felt bad anyway, asking my friend to come out at such a late hour just to watch me eat…”

Myungsoo swore his heart could jump out any second. His dream girl asking him to eat with him! Is it a dream? He forced himself not to squeal as he replied, “S-Sure! I would love that!” and was thankful he had gave her a wink as he saw her blush.

She was his noona.

“Myungsoo-ah, you wanna eat cup noodles or chicken?”

At that moment, he felt a spark of hope in his heart that maybe she could be more than just a noona.

As they settled for both cup noodles and chicken, Myungsoo said, “Sooyoung noona, ah.. can I call you that?”

“Of course!” She replied with full.

Adorable.

“Life is full of surprises isn’t it? I never thought I would ever be able to eat with you noona,”

She chuckled, “Yeah, I know,” then she looked into his eyes and smiled, “You never know what could happen,”

Zelo never thought he would fall for her. But whenever he saw SNSD performing, his eyes would always stray towards her. Her long legs, so perfect, and he would think how it would feel under his hands. Her flowing and shiny hair, alongside with her adorable face. How could he not fall for her? He tried to ignore that warmth in his heart whenever she smiled at him, because he knew it was impossible. She was probably in a relationship with Siwon. They were so compatible. He sighed. Why did he have to fall in love with someone he could never have?

He thought he would get over it. Or, a better explanation, he tried to think he would get over it. That this was plainly infatuation. But when he again saw her on the TV, he couldn’t help but glue his eyes on her and stare at her, his throat dry. He didn’t like falling in love. He didn’t like falling in love with a noona. A person he hadn’t even talked to before. He wanted to get over her. Badly.

One day he was in the mall. Disguised of course. He didn’t want to be crowded by his beloved fans since he had came to the mall to take his mind off Sooyoung. He liked malls. There were many stores and weird little things he could look at to keep his mind occupied. He spent around three hours in the mall before deciding to grab a snack in the food court and then going home. He wasn’t supposed to be out for so long since he was an idol, and even though he hadn’t really cared at first, now, as it was getting later, he became nervous, as if someone would spot him. Suddenly he felt someone bump into him, since that person was falling, his first instinct was to help her up, which was exactly what he did. His left hand on her waist, right hand on her shoulder as he pulled her towards him; yes, an incredibly uncomfortable posture for the both of them.  

Could it get anymore awkward.

Yes, it could.

There, in his arms, was SNSD’s Sooyoung.

He watched her blink confusingly, “Z-Zelo..?”

Then her eyes widened and she whispered, “Zelo its you! For a minute I thought I would get recognized! Thank goodness!”

He bit his lip and tried not to inhale the scent of her hair as he said, “Yeah, its nice to see you too Sooyoung-sshi,”

He never wanted to go home so much. Just when he was trying to forget her, there was she again.

He let go of her and ignored the loss of her warmth. He cleared his throat when he saw Sooyoung staring at him weirdly. “What?” he said, trying to look annoyed and not flustered. She smiled and said, “Nothing, just wanted to say thanks! By the way you can call me Sooyoung noona,” that sincere smile took his breath away. He swallowed audibly and muttered, “Sooyoung.. noona,”

She was his noona.

She grinned at his response and said, “Nice to meet you too Zelo-ah!” and chuckled.

He then realized that actually, his heart had never regretted falling for her.

Slowly, he smiled.

What can you do when you know you’re not good enough for her? Nothing. So get over her already.

That’s what Changjo always told himself. It was bull, really, since there was no way he wasn’t good enough for her. Yet he knew he was still not good enough.

“Why?” the others used to ask. He would just smile back at them.

Whenever he saw Sooyoung, that’s when he wished he was older. Just old enough to be older than Sooyoung. It was just him being typically insecure. That’s all. he hadn’t spoken to her often, since they hadn’t really seen each other often, and every night he would stay up late watching videos of her. He loved everything about her. He wished there could be something more, yet another part of him would be urging him to let go of this hopeless fantasy of love. The contradiction was killing him. he didn’t know what he wanted anymore.

Perhaps he could have really let go if he wanted to. But the truth was he didn’t want to let go. He couldn’t stand the fact not seeing her face on his laptop for even one day. Some thought he was obsessed with her, even, but it wasn’t. Or maybe he didn’t know the truth himself.

He saw her one day, rehearsing for their dance. She was always great at dancing. She was perfect. Way too perfect. He couldn’t help but smile when he saw her being dorky with Hyoyeon and the others.

He knew this was wrong. He shouldn’t be fantasying over someone he couldn’t have. But he still kept his hope deep inside him, hoping that one day, they could come true. He tried to smile charmingly as Sooyoung came closer towards the area he was in. Then Sooyoung caught his glance and smiled politely at him. He smiled back, and he groaned inwardly because he knew how awkward his smile was. Did Sooyoung catch on anything? Did she feel his gazes? Some part of him wanted her to know, some didn’t. He was just that contradictive. He was deep in his thoughts when someone tapped him on his shoulder, and he jumped, “Oh, sorry if I scared you, Changjo-sshi!”

“Oh its okay Sooyoung noona---“ he paused. The way he called her was too natural. He blushed furiously.  “Umm…” she laughed, then, and he was confused. “Its okay Changjo-ah, I don’t mind! You don’t mind me calling you Changjo-ah don’t you?”

Biting his lip, he replied, “Of course,”

His heart was about to burst any minute now. He never felt so happy in his life before.

She was his noona.

Ever since that day, they started being closer and although everytime he called Sooyoung noona, he would feel a slight clench of his heart, he accepted the fact. He was now content, because he never thought they would be able to be like how they were now.