We all know how great our amazing friends can be all the time.  Well mine are insane all the time.  There’s Kim Junmyeon who we call Suho, the owner of the Café XOXO and my boss, his childhood best friend Kim Hyoyeon, a well-known fashion designer who started her career at a young age, Do Kyungsoo also known as D.O., the head chef at the café, his two assistants Kim Jongin aka Kai and Byun Baekhyun, and Park Chanyeol and Oh Sehun the annoying severs of the cafe.  These jerks absolutely believe that I would find no one to marry at the rate I’m going, and most likely die alone.  I’m only twenty-one and I won’t die alone.  I’ll die with my forty cats that I don’t have …yet. 

“Where’s Rain?” Suho asked around.  “Rain! Rain!  RAIN!” I was hiding under the counter.  The whole entire day I’ve been avoiding him.  He was talking about a blind date for me earlier.  Last time I went on one, I accidently spilt wine on him then set him on fire.  Don’t ask how, I’m capable of many unbelievable things.

He went to the kitchen looking for me.  D.O., Baekhyun, and Kai came up to the front counter discussing the menu.  Since I was under the counter they didn’t see me so one of them stepped on my hand, “OWW!!”  I yelped and jolted up hitting my head on the counter.

They all shrieked in unison, jumping away from the counter.  Kai ducked his head under to give me an amazed look.  “Rain?  What the hell are you doing under there?” he asked.

“I’m hiding.” They looked at each other, and then turned back to me.

“Why are you hiding?” D.O. asked with a brow raised.

“I’m hiding from Suho don’t tell him I’m under here.”

“Oh yeah, we have something to tell you!” Baekhyun sang completely ignoring my statement.

“How would you like-” Kai didn’t get to finish due to Suho screaming my name.

“Shhh!  I’m not here!” I went back to hiding and they gave me the ‘ok’ sign.

“Have you guys seen Rain?”

“Yep!  She’s down here!”  Those bastards!  Suho came around the corner and I scurried to the other end and ran for the door.

“Rain you come back here!” he hollered.  I was almost out the door when I ran into the infamous Kim Hyoyeon.  Why?  I was so close to being safe.  I hate my life.

“Where are you going Rain?” asked Hyoyeon.

“Well, I was attempting an escape, but it was foiled by you.  So thank you Hyoyeon.”

“Oh, well my pleasure!  And I happen to have good news for you.” She gave me that creepy look so I knew it wasn’t good.  Maybe I can jump through the window.  That wouldn’t be too safe though…

“I’ve set you up with a blind date!  How exciting!”  I’ll do it.  As I made an attempt through the window someone grabbed the back of my shirt pulling me back.  I was so close again!

“You’ve set her up with a blind date?  I did too!” Suho exclaimed.  I hate all of you.

“Wait!  We set her on a blind date!”  D.O., Kai, and Baekhyun came running over.  Great now I have three blind dates.

“Hey guys what’s all the excitement?” Chanyeol asked as he walked over with Sehun.

“Our little Rain here has three blind dates!”  Hyoyeon shouted while clapping.

“No way, we set her up too!”  Sehun jumped excitedly. 

“What time did you guys set up these blind dates?”  I asked.  I just won’t show.

“Eight o’clock here!” they all yelled in unison.  Really?  Wow, the gods hate me.

“We’ll just set four different tables for her and she’ll spend fifteen minutes at one table, fifteen minutes at the next, another fifteen minutes after, and then start over again.  It’ll be like speed dating!”  Suho said and the others agreed to it.

“How bout I just not go to any of them.  You know I hate blind dates!” I exclaimed.

“What’s so wrong with blind dates?  It’s not like we set you up with horrid looking men.” Hyoyeon tried rationalizing with me.

“It’s not necessarily how they look it’s more of what’s wrong with them as a person.”

“Elaborate.” Demanded Baekhyun.

“Well, one.  They are completely self-absorbed.  Two, they are really desperate.  Three, they have too much of a loud personality.  Or four, they want to make a o!”

“Just go on the dates and you may actually like them!” oh Chanyeol you don’t know how many I went on to see if I ‘may actually like them’.

“And you can’t say no because I already designed your dress and have your hair and make-up stylist at my place ready for you.” Hyoyeon said crossing her arms giving me the ‘I don’t care what you want, you’re going’ look.

“Why would you design a dress and get a hair and make-up stylist for me?”

“I wanted to make a pretty dress that would go with that pretty tan you got when you went to visit your Aunt in the States.”  She said patting my cheeks as I stared at her in disbelief.

“Great!  So Hyoyeon, you take her to get ready, while we make this the most romantic dinner ever!” Suho clasped his hands together with sparkles in his eyes.

“Alright let’s do this!” Sehun and Baekhyun high fived one another as Chanyeol jumped up and down from excitement. 

“Really guys, I just want to go home and sleep.” I protested.

“Rain is gonna find a man!  Rain is gonna find a man!” Hyoyeon sang swaying her hips and the boys followed in action.

“I would really just rather die.”

“Who knows she may even lose her flower!” Baekhyun shouted, as Sehun and Chanyeol grabbed each one of my arms dragging me out behind Hyoyeon.

I shook my head vigorously, “But I dun wanna lose my flower!”

Most women love being pampered, but I absolutely hate it.  The idea of people touching and pulling me is so bothering.  I just don’t like to be touched period.  Unfortunately, Hyoyeon doesn’t understand that.  Now I have a bunch of people pulling and yanking me.  Is this really necessary?

“Hyoyeon, I thought you said you just had a hairstylist and a make-up artist.”

“Oh well, I wanted you to get a pedi-medi too.  Your feet really need it, dear.”

“Oh how sweat of you.”  I’ll kill her.

“You’re almost done!  You’re already a beautiful girl, but every man is going to bow down to you when we’re through right team?”  They all cheered and high fived each other like they just made a great accomplishment or something.  What’s wrong with these people…?

It was fifteen minutes till eight when we got back to the café.  They had a red carpet set up.  Most likely it was Baekhyun’s idea.  I came in with a deep crimson red waterfall dress.  The top is corseted and it has black flowerily gem designs on them.  My accessories are also black and my hair was in a curly ponytail with my side bangs framing my face.

“Holy smokes!  Rain you were beautiful before but now you’re gorgeous!”  Suho exclaimed as the others nodded vigorously.

“Yeah they did wonders to your oily skin and even out your complexion really well.”  Kai had to add his two cents.

“I was worried I was going to have to fix your eyeliner.  Do you want me to show you how to put it on?  I mean you were still pretty, but you had quite a lot of flaws.”  If only looks could kill, cause Baekhyun would be dead by now.

Chanyeol was nodding his head in agreement with Baekhyun and gestured to his teeth, “Also your teeth is beginning to yellow.”  I hate you so much right now.

 “Oh, Rain!  That color goes wonderful with your tan!  You’re beautiful!” complimented Sehun.  “How do you feel?”

“I’ve never felt so beautiful in my whole entire life.”

“Really?!” They asked in unison.

“Noooo!  I feel like a complete idiot!  Who the hell wears a prom dress to a speed/blind date?”  I yelled flailing my arms.

“But you actually look like woman.”  D.O. stated so innocently.

“I’m leaving.”  I began walking the other way when Suho grabbed my elbow pulling me back.  “Why can’t you guys take my feelings in consideration?!”

“Rain.  Rain.  This has nothing to do with you.  We made this one of our life’s goals, and you can bet the bags under your eyes that we are going to accomplish it!” 

“I’m sorry Sehun I didn’t realize it was one of your goals in life.  It was inconsiderate of me.” I said sarcastically, but he just patted my back saying, “It’s ok just don’t do it again.”

“Ok enough talking!”  Suho you are way too excited about this sir.

Kai and Baekhyun shoved me in the back kitchen to wait for the arrivals of my dates.  I sat on a chair throwing sugar packets at them as they tried catching them in cups.  I couldn’t help but ponder the thought that I must be really hopeless if they devoted their lives to me finding a man.  Does my life that much that everyone around me notices it, but me?  What am I talking about?  I have a great life!  I have great friends who worry about my well-being, and the greatest Aunt in the world who would move mountains for me.  Sure I don’t have friends outside of work and my Aunt is a control freak, I lost my parents and grandparents at a young age, and my first love practically ed slapped me in the face, and……and wow my life does .

“This really is a waste of time guys.”  I stopped chunking the sugar packets at them and they both gave me a worried look.

“You don’t know that.  What if it works out?”  Baekhyun tried reasoning.

“But I don’t like blind dates.”

“So you like men don’t you?” he retorted.  Wait; maybe if I say I’m gay they may leave me alone.  “No.  No I don’t.”

“You’re lying.”

“No, really I hate them all.  I love the ies.”

“That’s cool I have lesbian friends.  I’ll call them up.”

“No!  Kai no!  I’m lying!  No need to do that.”  I held my hand on my chest like I was going to have a heart attack. 

Suho came in with a huge smile on his face.  “They are ready for you my dear.”  He ushered me out, “Now we set the tables up with wine and food already.  Sehun will be keeping time and Chanyeol will lead you to your next date.  Remember dear, make them work for it.”

“What?!”  He handed me to Chanyeol who sat me across a nice looking gentleman.

“Rain this is Roh Jihoon.  Roh Jihoon this is our lovely Rain.  I’ll leave you two alone.”  He began walking away, “Sehun!  Start the time!”

“I got you bro!”

“I’m so sorry my friends are a bit eccentric and I think they all may have a mental disorder.”  I glanced at their direction and they were all creeping behind the counter and the only thing visible was their head.  They all had creepy looks on their faces, especially Chanyeol.  He had his big creepy smile on with one eye squinted. 

“They seem normal to me and by the way you look lovely.” Jihoon complimented.

“Thank you.  You look really handsome.” Awww he seems nice and humble.

“Oh I know I am.  I mean look at me I’m gorgeous.”  And there it goes out the window.  “Look even your friends are drooling over me from behind the counter.  My beauty just can’t be contained.”  How bout I contain you in a box and send you down the Han River?

“You’re a one of a kind aren’t you?”  Just give him a smile and change the conversation.

“Oh yes, I’m practically a black pearl!  I’m rich, intelligent, handsome, have a bod of a god, and have I shown you my hair flip? *inserts Shrek’s Prince Charming slow mode hair flip* Dazzling isn’t it?”….what?

“Um, yes it’s quite lovely.”  I said with a sheepish smile.

“Wanna touch it?”

“Okay!  Sehun honey!  I’m pretty sure it’s been fifteen minutes.”  Please tell me it’s been fifteen minutes.

“Nope.  Not even close.” He said shaking his head.

“Let’s just say it was.”

“No, it’s only been-”

“Chanyeol come take me to the next table!”  Chanyeol came running to me leading me to the next table.  “Rain this is Kim Sunggyu.  Sunggyu this is Rain.” He yelled for Sehun to start the time again before he left.

“It’s very nice to meet-”

“I love you.”

“I’m sorry…what?”

“I love you!  Let’s get married!”

“Yeah let’s not.  Chanyeol!”

“I’ll wait for you!”  He said as I forced Chanyeol to take me away to the next one.

“Ok Rain this is Hwang Kwanghee.  Dude this is Rain…good luck bro.” he scurried off.

Hopefully this one won’t go to bad.  I opened my mouth to say hello but he beat me to the punch.

“Hi~~!  I’ve been super excited to meet you!  I literally had been thinking about this for the last twenty-four hours!  I like ducks!  Do you like ducks?!  Sheep are cool too, and they are so soft and fluffy!  World hunger is such a horrible thing.  There are so many trees being chopped down its horrible!  Those poor little mongooses that have no tree to live in!  Anyways I really like jokes!  Do you like jokes?  Wanna hear a funny one?!”

No!  I don’t want to hear one!  I can’t even hear myself think, “Uhhh…”

“So what concert cost forty-five cents?”

“….”

“50 cent featuring Nickelback! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA I’M SO FUNNY!  I’m funny right? Yes.  Yes I am!  Hahahaha!  I’m funny right?  Yes, I’m funny?  Tell me I’m funny!”  Yeah I’m just going to calmly and slowly move away to the last table now.

I seated myself across my last date and gave him a smile.  He gave me a cute smile back, “Rough night?” he asked.

“Yes very.”  I replied while nodding my head.

“Well, let’s try having a nice time.  I’m Park Jaebom, but you can call me Jay.”

“Hello Jay, my friends call me Rain.”

“Well, Rain I’m twenty-six and you are…”

“I’m twenty-one.”

“So I’m your oppa!”

A small smile crept on my face, “Yes, indeed you are.”

He began shuffling around and looked like he was thinking about something.  Should I run?  No, he seems normal.  I think he has a normal head on him…I think.

“So…question.”  He snapped me out of my train of thought.

“Yes?”

“I’m just going to be straight forward.  Am I going to get lucky tonight?”

“Excuse me?”

“Will I be able to wander the land down yonder?”

Before I could even answer a swarm of paparazzi came barging in flashing their cameras and video taking me.  Then Hyoyeon came up front telling them to take pictures of my good side and to video take my every move.  Suho and the boys came running over.

“Hyoyeon!  What the hell is this?!”  Asked Suho.

“I wanted to make sure that we would be able to remember this night, and she looked too pretty not to take photos of!”  She said with her hands on her hips as Suho shook his head.

“I’m not sorry to interrupt but I didn’t get my full fifteen minutes.”  Jihoon came over to the table.

“I didn’t either!”  hollered Kwanghee.

A shriek came out my mouth as Sunggyu latched himself on me.  He keeps repeating that he loves me.  “PLEASE TELL ME YOU LOVE ME!!”

“What’s with the cameras?” asked Jihoon.

“OMIGERD ARE WE MAKING A O?!”

“What?!  No Kwanghe-”

“Awww yeah!  About time!”  Jay jumped up taking off his shirt, as I threw Sunggyu off of me and ran to the door.

“Rain!  Where are you-”

“No we are done!  Sorry fellas it’s been nice and all but I’m going home.  No need to call me because I won’t call you.  And by the way I love you but you’re killing me.”  I took off running as they ran after me.  I finally lost them when I got on the bus, and drove off without them. 

My head was spinning, so I took a seat and covered my face.  Then I felt a tap on my shoulder, and I looked over to see who it was.  It was an old man who gave me a toothy smile.

“Would you like to go home with me tonight young lady?”  He asked wiggling his eyebrow.  Wow, my life does .