A/N: for sam (aka chibigurl116)

 

 

“If you ever leave me, baby,

Leave some morphine at my door

'Cause it would take a whole lot of medication

To realize what we used to have,

We don't have it anymore.”

You grip the edge of the closet door, fighting the urge to turn off the song.

“There's no religion that could save me

No matter how long my knees are on the floor

So keep in mind all the sacrifices I'm makin'

To keep you by my side

To keep you from walkin' out the door.”

(Flashback)

"The lyrics are cheesy," you claim.

He laughs when you push them away. Sitting down next to you, he grabs the paper and reads:

"'Cause there'll be no sunlight if I lose you, baby. There'll be no clear skies if I lose you, baby.'" He pauses to grin at you. "What do you see in the lyrics?"

"Some idiot who doesn't actually try to save their relationship. All he does is sing about how much he'd hate it when she leaves," you reply.

He takes your hand. "What I see is a guy helplessly in love with a girl he'd hate to lose but doesn't feel like he deserves her."

"And that makes him sad." You watch his eyes.

"Just like the clouds, my eyes will do the same, if you walk away. Everyday it'll rain, rain, rain," he sings quietly.

(Flashback ends)

“I'll never be your mother's favorite

Your daddy can't even look me in the eye

Ooh, if I was in their shoes, I'd be doing the same thing

Sayin' "There goes my little girl

Walkin' with that troublesome guy””

You almost skip the song. Your iPod lies close to you. All you'd have to do is reach over.

(Flashback)

"Why do you insist on seeing him?" Your mom asks loudly.

"Because I love him and he lo-"

"You think he actually loves you?" she asks incredulously. "All you are to him is just another fan. He's going to leave you when the next pretty girl gives him enough attention. He will never love you."

(Flashback end)

“But they're just afraid of something they can't understand

Ooh, but little darlin' watch me change their minds

Yeah for you I'll try, I'll try, I'll try, I'll try

I'll pick up these broken pieces 'til I'm bleeding

If that'll make you mine”

A small tear escapes you and you brush it away. No, you promised you wouldn't cry anymore.

(Flashback)

"Take care of her for me," your father says, coughing weakly.

"I will. You don't have to worry. Just rest." You muffle a sob at his words.

Your dad takes a shuddering breath. His last.

(Flashback end)

“Oh, don't you say (don't you say) goodbye (goodbye),

Don't you say (don't you say) goodbye (goodbye)

I'll pick up these broken pieces 'til I'm bleeding

If that'll make it right”

You glare at the picture of the two of you. It was taken on the day he sang this song in the studio. His arms were wrapped around you. You were laughing. He was smiling. Happy. That's what you both were once upon a time.

“'Cause there'll be no sunlight

If I lose you, baby

There'll be no clear skies

If I lose you, baby

And just like the clouds

My eyes will do the same, if you walk away

Everyday it'll rain, rain, rain”

"You left," you whisper.

Why?

You sift through his letters. Taking out the last one, you trace his goodbye at the end.

"Love you always," you murmur. "Hanbyul."

You know he didn't have a choice, couldn't stop the illness from taking him. He's gone now. And there is nothing you can do.