Its been a week since hyung confessed his feelings for me, we haven't really talked about that incidient. And tried to act as naturally as we can.

Though I can't deny the fact that he started acting weird around me like not sitting beside me like the usual and he avoids moments when we're about to be left alone. I thought that this thing called 'heart' that  was beating furiously,  breaking my ribcage whenever i'm with hyung. Is this love? Or maybe like I said.

I'm literally sick? Well, confused as I am right now with my feelings that felt like utter concern for hyung which was a brotherly love not romantic love right? And whenever I refuse to say its that kind of  love I feel for him  a pang hits my heart and making me think that maybe not.

 Better get some inspirations from this  emotions and start composing.

I pulled out my lyric notebook in my drawer and started scribbling some words.

(Italic)

I'm sorry

Were both hurting -scratch that- and out hearts are bruised from longing

Not enough for you

Used to blue tears, blue sorrow

"Ah," tears started to from at the edge of my eyes and slowly it rolled down my cheeks. Touching my face. I wonder why, why am I crying? Why do I feel this way? Why is my heart hurting this much?

"WAE???!!!!!!" Dropping my hand down in the desk and crying myself out with reasons that I can't explain at all.

After an hour of crying my eyes are now all puffy and red.

Looking down on my notebook where some unfinished lyrics left and tear marks on the paper  of were i was writing awhile ago.

'Okay, jiyong, finish this' I mentally talked to myself and started getting on my work.

Singing my blue

The love that I have sent away with the floating clouds To let you know

That I feel the same for you

' Do I love you? Seunghyun? Do I feel the same way for you'

Tapping my pen on the table, slowly closing my tired eyes and engaging myself to  feel and to  find the beat for this song.

Indulging my self as mixed emotions devours me. Saddness took over yet a slight calmness and joy can be felt. Confused. Lost. That is what I am right now.

No words can comfort me

It's'cowardly but i'm hiding cauese i'm not good enough for you

Once these tears dry up, I will moistly remember my love

Even in my dreams

‘ should start fixing the lyrics now and go to teddy hyung to get some help for the beat’ I muttered to myself and continued to rearrange the lyrics

Blue

The winter had passed
And the spring has come
We have withered
And our hearts are bruised from longing

(i’m singing my blues)
Used to the blue tears, blue sorrow
(i’m singing my blues)
The love that i have sent away with the floating clouds, oh oh

Under the same sky, at different places
Because you and i are dangerous
I am leaving you
One letter difference from ‘nim’^
It’s cowardly but i’m hiding because i’m not good enough
Cruel breakup is like the end of the road of love
No words can comfort me
Perhaps my lifetime’s last melodrama
Now its final curtain is coming down

I was born and i met you
And i have loved you to death
My cold heart that has been dyed blue
Even with my eyes closed, i can’t feel you

The winter had passed
And the spring has come
We have withered
And our hearts are bruised from longing

(i’m singing my blues)
Used to the blue tears, blue sorrow
(i’m singing my blues)
The love that i have sent away with the floating clouds, oh oh

I feel like my heart has stopped beating
You and i, frozen there, after a war
Trauma, that has been carved in my head
Once these tears dry up, i will moistly remember my love
I’m neither painful nor lonely
Happiness is all self-talk
I can’t stand something more complicated
It’s no big deal, i don’t care
Inevitable wandering, people come and go

I was born and i met you
And i have loved you to death
My cold heart that has been dyed blue
Even if you have left, i’m still here

(i’m singing my blues)
Used to the blue tears, blue sorrow
(i’m singing my blues)
The love that i have sent away with the floating clouds, oh oh

Again tonight, underneath that blue moonlight
I will probably fall asleep alone
Even in my dreams, i look for you
And wander around while singing this song

(i’m singing my blues)
Used to the blue tears, blue sorrow
(i’m singing my blues)
The love that i have sent away with the floating clouds, oh oh

(i’m singing my blues)
Used to the blue tears, blue sorrow
(i’m singing my blues)
The love that i have sent away with the floating clouds, oh oh

Am I falling inlove over you? ‘ jiyong, admit it.. you feel the same for him’ smile went across my face when I finally know what this stupid heart longs for. I cant believe it. I fell inlove with Choi seunghyun. A bingu.

A/N: hi sorry for the ling update, anyways..the lyrics is all credits to bigbang :)