A/N: First of all, I'm so sorry about the delay, guys. I've been so busy with work. I finally got time to write and belted out like 5000 words in one go XD I'm sorry if this . I tried my best and I hope it won't disappoint you.

Junjin does not see hide nor hair of Andy for six days following the experiment the younger had wanted to try with him. There had been no group practices during those days, mostly for the benefit of the members to tie up their solo work before coming together for their last rehearsals and commencing their Asia tour. It is not uncommon for them to go even longer periods of time without contacting each other, but the longer Andy's silence draws out, the deeper Junjin's anxiety grows.

Just when he had thought that things had taken a turn for the better between Andy and himself, Fate had  turned itself around. It feels like they have gone right back to square one. He is back to fretting, back to feeling numb with fear ... back to wondering just what the hell Andy is thinking, feeling towards him...

Only, this time, it somehow feels much worse than before.

He has lost count of how many times his finger has hovered over the call button of his phone, eyes locked on the glowing name of the one man who has become the very ban of his existence. However, every time he nearly gives into the whim, Junjin is assaulted with the memory of Andy's nervous eyes drawing nearer to him, the sensual feel of his hot breath mingling with Junjin's own as Andy brings Junjin to the very brink of his undoing, and then Andy's face in the shadows of his car when it was all over, how he had avoided looking at him  - and Junjin just cannot bring himself to do it. He puts the phone down and walks around the room, trying to clear his head, and it becomes a vicious cycle that repeats every time he comes close to losing his mind, desperate to hear from the other man again.

In a corner of his mind, there is a voice filled with disgust that scorns him for how pathetic he has become, how low he has sunk. At these times, he longs for the old Junjin to come back, so that he can laugh at himself and actually get over this and move on with his life, unscathed. He is starting to scare himself - or if he has already been scared before, then he is pretty darn terrified now.

And perhaps, that is what scares him even more: the fact that he can barely recognise himself now. He looks in the mirror and sees a face he has seen thousands of times day and night, but it is no longer familiar to him.

Sometimes, he hates Andy for that. For reducing him to this, whatever this is.

Mostly, he just hates himself. If only he had never ... and he stops his train of thought right there, because there is no end to that vicious cycle.

And so Junjin goes on like that, waiting for Andy and feeling like he is just existing merely for the sake of existing, but still no Andy comes to him to relieve him of this pain of waiting for something Junjin does not even know.

In a way, Andy can be cruel like that, Junjin thinks to himself once.

~***~

One evening, Dongwan spontaneously invites him out for dinner and drinks. Junjin is glad for the distraction from the monotony of the recent days and accepts his hyung's offer. But the thoughts still continue to bother him and he takes the opportunity  to nonchalently ask Dongwan whether he has heard from the maknae lately.

Dongwan shrugs a shoulder as he briskly flips the strips of beef over the hot grill. 'Not much. I think he's doing some last minute clean ups with his groups before we kick off the tour.'

Junjin nods vaguely, carefully keeping his face void of emotion as he pours out more soju for them.

Dongwan is not fooled though. He shoots his dongsaeng a long look across the table. 'If you're so worried, why don't you ask him yourself, Jinne?'

Junjin is a little shocked and Dongwan shakes his head with a sigh.

'C'mon, Jin-ah. Everyone knows something's up between you two. It's the most obvious thing next to the sun! We just don't talk about it to your faces because you're both grown men and we assume you have enough balls to sort it out for yourselves.'

If the topic was not so nerve-wrecking for Junjin, he would have rolled his eyes and called out on the typical two-hour-Dongwan-lecture that is prominently on the horizon of their conversation. Spend enough time with the man and you can just sense it coming, like a change in the wind hailing an impending storm.

He does not want to hear it though. He does not want to endure listening to his hyung going on and on about how he and Andy are friends and that they should just sort this all out over a bottle of soju or a punch in the face like men, while not knowing a single thing about what is actually wrong between them. So, Junjin cuts Dongwan's follow up line short with a sharp,

'I know that, hyung. But we're not in a fight or anything, OK.'

Dongwan looks skeptical. 'Really? Funny, because that time you screwed up in the practice room, we could've cut the tension between you two with a knife.'

Junjin groans a little. Trust Dongwan to bring up all the unwanted memories at all the wrong times. He wishes that he had just not brought Andy up at all.

'Can we just have dinner?'

This time, Dongwan looks a little apologetic. 'Yeah. I'm sorry about that, Jinnie. I didn't mean to push it...'

Junjin wordlessly begins to eat, stuffing the cooked beef pieces into his mouth straight off the grill. They are a little burnt now, having been neglected during their talk.

'I'm just worried about you two. We all are,' adds Dongwan, his voice very soft, before ending that conversation. Neither of them brings up the topic of Andy again for the rest of the night.

As they leave the small restaurant later, Dongwan asks lightly, 'You're coming to Hyesung's place tomorrow, right?'

'For what?' Junjin asks, puzzled. Tomorrow is Saturday and he does not remember having anything scheduled with Hyesung.

The older man scrutinises him carefully. There is a hint of worry in his voice as he replies slowly, 'Minwoo and Eric were talking about throwing a get together for us tomorrow at Hyesung's. About a week ago, after our latest practice. To celebrate our album's success and tour beginning ... remember?'

It takes a few moments, but the memory finally clicks into place. Junjin's face clears. 'Oh yeah ... that ...' He had entirely forgotten about the party they are supposed to have. He can remember why now: Eric had discussed that plan with them the very day Andy had invited Junjin over for dinner.

And then everything else.

The worry has spread from Dongwan's voice to his expression now. 'Choongjae, are you sure you're all right?'

'Yeah, yeah,' he says quickly. 'It just ... I forgot. I had a lot on my mind.'

The older man's eyes are still piercing through him. 'Clearly...'

Junjin can guess what Dongwan must be thinking now. He flashes his hyung a practised smile, promises to meet up with them all at Hyesung's the next day, and quickly walks off down the pavement before Dongwan can ask him any more disconcerting questions.

It is not until he is halfway to the bus stop that the true dilemma of tomorrow's gathering occurs to him:

After nearly a solid week, he will come face-to-face with Andy again.

~***~

Junjin does, indeed, come face-to-face with Andy the next day.

Literally face-to-face.

Life's jokes on him are not even funny anymore.

Hyesung had called him when he was nearly at the apartment block and complained over the phone how "the rest of these hopeless idiots" had forgotten to bring the most important thing for a party - beer. Junjin had internally face-palmed and asked whether Hyesung did not have any alcohol in the house - because really, who would want to turn around and go shopping right when they were almost at a party - but Hyesung had irritably reminded how he had only agreed to lend his place for their shenanigans under the condition that they get the food and drinks.

'Besides, I only have a couple bottles of soju. And I already have my contribution of food here. Eric was supposed to bring the beer.'

'Then make Eric hyung go -!' Junjin had barely finished retorting when, on the other side, Eric apparently wrestled the phone away from Hyesung. With disconcerting aegyo, the eldest of them began to beg Junjin to please go buy the beer for hyung, do hyung this favour just once, hyung will pay, but be back as soon as possible, hyung needs beer now~

Junjin had stilled for a second, eyebrow cocked, then snapped his phone shut without bothering to reply and stomped off to find the nearest store. (Eric had probably downed Hyesung's soju bottles already to be doing that sort of skin-crawling cutesiness at s.)

If that was not irritating enough, Eric and Minwoo - both of them sounding already tipsy, figures - obnoxiously called him up thrice while he was at the store, and giggled manically over the phone at him to "furry the huck up, dood!"

Junjin had figured that actually getting to Hyesung's with the beer as soon as possible would be an easier way of getting them both off his back rather than trying to endure their drunken ing over the phone.

And that is how he ends up running full pelt back to the apartment even with his arms full - ignoring more ringing of his phone - and hastily knocks at Hyesung's door with his foot.

The door opens almost immediately and Junjin rushes to go inside, fully intending to throw the cans of beer at his hyungs' stupid faces - ten points to him if he can smack them on the forehead, twenty on the nose, and fifty on their giggling mouths -  but he is struggling with the weight of the beer packs and his foot catches on the threshold. With an undignified yelp, Junjin falls over face first, right into the person that opened the door for him.

Beer cans spill everywhere and all Junjin can register in the next few seconds are pain, the loss of breath from his lungs and a familiar pair of dark eyes boring into his own from mere inches away, mirroring his shock.

And right then and there, Junjin decides that life has made him its eternal .

~***~

Of course the rest of the idiots find the scene of Junjin sprawled all over Andy absolutely hilarious.

With a whoop of 'Dog pile!' Minwoo drunkenly launches himself directly on top of the two younger men, crushing them even closer together. In the background, the laughter from the rest grows even more boisterous.

Junjin curses, or at least tries to; the sudden additional weight on him leaves him winded and he is hyperaware of the man underneath him. It is hard to avoid looking at Andy, especially not when Junjin is shy of two centimetres from accidentally kissing him (and that in itself is a taboo thought at the moment). Andy meets his eyes momentarily and then looks away, settling his gaze somewhere around Junjin's jawbone. Apart from the obvious pain and general discomfort of being the base of the impromptu human pile, his expression is hard to read.

Isn't it always?

It is Hyesung who finally takes pity on them. Effectively preventing Dongwan and Eric from joining the pile by giving two swift jabs to their sides, he walks forward and hauls Minwoo off their youngest ones.

'C'mon, let them breathe. Are you two hurt?' Concern creeps into his voice, taking over the previous amusement.

Junjin allows himself one more second to look down at Andy, to feel him and taste his hot breath on the tip of his tongue. Till then, he has not even realised that Andy's hands had been on his sides the whole time, trying to keep his weight off. Junjin snatches himself away, trying to ignore the strange searing feeling inside him at the fact that Andy is still refusing to meet his eyes.

'A little bit,' he answers Hyesung's question a couple of beats too late. 'But nothing big, I'm OK.'

'Andy?' Hyesung prompts their maknae as he lends a hand to pull him up.

Andy gets up with a wince. 'I just got rugby piled by two of our heaviest pigs, what do you think?' Despite his sardonic tone, he flashes a mocking grin at Hyesung and Minwoo.

Eric and Dongwan almost collapse to the floor at his comment, and nearly end up howling when Minwoo lets out a high pitched screech of 'ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT?!'.

Hyesung, on the other hand, visibly relaxes. 'You're clearly not hurt, then,' He snorts. 'If you can still bully your hyungs in that state...'

'Yah, yah, yah, he called me fat,' Minwoo complains, elbowing Hyesung out of the way. 'Are we seriously letting this go? Choongjae, come on, back me up here! He called you fat, too!'

Junjin wordlessly kneels down to gather up the beers he dropped. It is grating on his nerves, how Andy is blatantly ignoring him and he is in no mood to humour Minwoo.

'I got your beer,' he says flatly. On impulse, he chucks one of the cans at Eric and, to his surprise, it strikes him directly on his laughing mouth.

Huh. Fifty points to Park Choongjae.

'Yah, what did you do that for?!'

The beginnings of a smile form on his face and Junjin throws another can at Minwoo who scrambles to catch it before it smacks him as well. With a chuckle, he drawls at Eric, 'Pay up, hyung. You were supposed to buy this .'

Still arguing and bickering, they all pick up the cans of beer Junjin dropped and carry them inside to the living room, where Dongwan has already set up the TV and video games. The whole time, Junjin follows the movements of their youngest member out of the corner of his eyes; there is still no acknowledgement whatsoever from him.

He sighs to himself. This will be a long night and he can see no end to his frustrations or answers to his questions.

~***~

A Shinhwa party often goes something like this:

Singing old songs, drinking, video games, making fun of your fellow members, random dance offs, drinking, spontaneous wrestling (usually kick-started by Dongwan or Minwoo), singing more songs, video game competitions to see who can kick Eric and Andy's asses (no one can, mostly), reminiscing about old times (and hence more teasing and chucking of cushions at each other) and drinking.

Not necessarily in that order.

Nor limited to just those mentioned above.

They are rambunctious and loud and, of course, at some point, true hunger kicks in and the heaps of junk food they have already consumed do nothing to satiate it. This is the point where the pestering starts.

'Please, Andy-yah,' Dongwan looks pleadingly at the younger man, trying his best to bring out the kicked puppy face and failing horrifically at it. Being drunk off his is not helping his case, either. 'Just a little bit? Please?'

'No,' Andy deadpans. He is one of the few, along with Hyesung and Junjin, who is still relatively sober. Hyesung, because he did not drink much to ensure that they do not trash his house (too much), and Andy and Junjin because they are still better than their hyungs at holding their liquor.

'Why not?' Minwoo grumbles. 'I'm seriously hungry.'

'Because I came to enjoy a party, not be a bloody chef. And we've already had food.'

'That was hours ago!' Dongwan is still trying to use aegyo, struggling to make cutsey faces at the maknae. Junjin, sitting on an armchair opposite him, wishes he would stop, though it is kind of funny. Funny as in that-face-will-later-come-to-haunt-you-in-your-nightmares funny.

'Hyung, you can cook, too. Why don't you cook something for us if you're that hungry?'

'My cooking does not taste half as good as yours,' Dongwan replies obstinately. He is no longer even paying attention to the video game he was playing with Eric, despite that fact that Eric's character is currently beating him to a pulp on the TV screen.

'Then let's just order something.'

'That's gonna take so long~ I need food now~'

The pestering goes on back and forth for a few more rounds before Hyesung finally loses patience and gets up. 'Ugh, enough already! Just shut up. I'll go and make some ramyun for us.'

There is silence for a moment - even Eric puts down his controller and whirls around to gape at Hyesung - before everyone reacts to this announcement as one:

'NO!'

Hyesung's jaw drops. 'What, what? It's just ramyun!'

Again, 'NO!'

'Get your back down!' adds Minwoo and bodily yanks Hyesung back to his seat.

'What the hell!' Hyesung's eyes widen when Andy quickly gets up and mutters in a resigned voice,

'Fine, guess I'll have to cook it, then.'

'What - seriously? You all hate my cooking this much?' The effeminate man looks torn between hurt and offended. 'Like, Andy is willing to cook as long as it prevents me from doing it?'

Andy hurries to soothe him. 'No, no, it's just ...' He looks around for support, wondering how to phrase what everyone else is thinking. 'Hyung, it's just that ... you get a little ... carried away.'

Hyesung looks confused for a moment. Then his eyes narrow. 'Is this about the sesame oil?'

'And the sesame seeds,' Minwoo pipes up helpfully.

'You tend to go a little overboard with the sesame, hyung,' Andy says as gently as he can, putting a kind smile on his face.

'Yeah.' Junjin nods, deciding to help out s with the task of calming down their can't-cook-for- mother figure. 'What we're trying to say, hyung, is that you can take it easy and just chill. We've already invaded your home today.'

'And we don't want to pay the price for that by choking on seeds or drowning in oil,' adds Eric tactlessly. Junjin has to bite down on his tongue. He can almost hear Andy mentally face palming.

'It's ramyun!' Hyesung bursts out, glaring at Eric. 'I can make freaking ramyun without using sesame!'

Eric gives him a look. 'No, you can't,' he states flatly.

Hyesung looks ready to explode, but then deflates. '...no, I can't.'

Eric turns back to his game, having made his point. Dongwan and Minwoo slowly begin to laugh (after making sure that the Hyesung time-bomb has been defused).

'OK then. So Andy will cook,' says the latter. He grins hugely. 'Wow, guys, I wish I could say we actually had this all planned out, I would be so proud. We got Andy to make food for us!'

Andy kicks Minwoo on the way to the kitchen. 'Ow!'

Junjin leans back in his chair, watching the scene unfold in front of him with a small smile. Honestly, if he lets himself forget everything that has happened in the past few months, he can actually fool himself into thinking that everything right now is totally normal. He is so used to this, seeing the way they pick on each other, bully each other, and have fun together. How the older ones try to tease and manipulate their beloved maknae, and how Andy retaliates in that unique way of his, blending kindness with vengeance. For a moment, he can almost believe that nothing has changed between them.

But then he remembers that, even just now, he himself had not been a part of that normalcy. Not really. Junjin had been the bystander, simply observing from the sidelines while Andy and the rest of Shinhwa were being themselves ... while Andy was being himself with the Shinhwa that no longer included Junjin...

Not for Andy, anyway.

He did not even look at him.

Junjin remains frozen for several seconds, suddenly overwhelmed with all the thoughts he has been trying to keep controlled, the feelings he has kept bottled ... but not anymore. He is exhausted with the effort of it. And he is angry ... but not at himself.

It surprises him, but for the first time, he realises that his anger right now is directed towards the one person he never thought he would be angry at over this.

Junjin turns his head and looks at the open door of the kitchen. He can hear Andy inside, the sounds of pots and the crinkle of ramyun packets. It takes all his willpower not to go storming in after him. They are in Hyesung's house; it would not do to create a scene here. This is something they need to deal with privately.

However, that still does not mean they should not even acknowledge each other, Junjin thinks bitterly to himself when Andy brings out the ramyun pot several minutes later and completely ignores his existence even when Junjin takes the pains to firmly sit right next to Andy. While the other members happily gather around and begin helping themselves to the food, Junjin turns and deliberately stares at Andy, fueling his anger and frustration through his eyes, daring - almost pleading - Andy to look back at him even just once.

Just one look - one sign that things between them can still be OK.

Andy can tell what he is doing, Junjin knows. He can see how Andy's shoulders tense, how his grip tightens on his chopsticks, and how his eyes almost dart at Junjin but Andy does not allow himself to give into the instinct. He can hear Andy's breath hitching softly in his throat when Junjin leans over him, too close for comfort, to get at some of the kimchi Hyesung brought from his fridge. He can see Andy's back stiffen when their elbows and arms brush together every so often while they eat.

Andy bloody well knows and he is doing everything in his power to pretend he does not.

Junjin has never felt so angry with the younger man before.

The rest of his friends are full of praises for Andy's marvellous (sesame-lacking) cooking. Junjin alone loses his appetite.

~***~

Deep into Sunday morning, the members finally begin to discuss sleeping arrangements - but before that, a more important decision needed to be made. The task of who gets to wash the pot and dishes is decided - in true Shinhwa style - with a game of rock-paper-scissors.

Two minutes later, poor Andy finds himself standing in front of an overflowing sink while his hyungs roll around the sitting room floor, guffawing outrageously at his sad fate.

As expected, the kitchen is soon filled with angry yells from the maknae, complaining about how he should not have to do the dishes when he freaking cooked for them. Minwoo replies to this with a singsong, 'Nobody told you to participate in the rock-paper game, idiot! But you did, and you lost. it up.'

The obscene swearing from the kitchen goes down in volume, but continues in a long low stream. Still chortling, the rest of the members go back to discussing sleeping arrangements.

'I have a couple of futons,' Hyesung is saying. 'Minwoo, Dongwan, Jin and Andy can share them in the sitting room.'

'What about me?' demands Eric.

'You live right next door,' Hyesung drawls airily. 'Go home to your own bed and sleep.'

Junjin snorts to himself and steps back to watch the inevitable argument. And sure enough,

'The hell, you're kicking me out?'

'I only have two futons! If you want to sleep on the sofa, then by all means -'

'I have a better idea, why don't I sleep in your bed instead?'

'Excuse you, Mun Junghyuk, that is my bed!'

'I never said I'd sleep on your bed by myself. It's freaking king-sized.'

Hyesung sputters. 'Wha- you - ugh, no way! No. Way. I'm not letting you sleep with me. You're a creep. No ing way.'

'You'd let Junjin or Minwoo or And-'

'They're not creepy like you. Ugh, don't even think abou - YAH, KIM DONGWAN, GET OUT OF MY ROOM!'

Junjin and Minwoo burst out laughing as Eric and Hyesung give chase to Dongwan who has taken the opportunity to bag Hyesung's bed for himself.

'Yeah, they're not coming out of there anytime soon,' Minwoo grins.

Junjin raises an eyebrow. 'I bet you fifty grand that Hyesung hyung kicks out both of them.'

Minwoo grins. 'I'll take that bet. Eric and Dongwan can be ridiculously persuasive. That bed of Pilkyo's is huge. I bet they'd squeeze in somehow.'

Junjin chuckles. 'It's been years since we slept like that, all of us together.'

'Yeah,' Minwoo says with a look of nostalgia that disappears in three seconds. 'But I'm too damn tired tonight. No way I'm sharing with anyone. I'm taking that futon for myself.' And he goes to do just that.

It takes a moment for Junjin to realise what that means. His jaw drops. 'Wait, hyung! Wait, I ...'

Minwoo grins wolfishly at him as he makes his way to the guest bathroom. 'If you don't wanna share the second futon with Andy, then take it for yourself before he finishes up in the kitchen, Jinnie. He can take the sofa.'

Junjin is still troubled several minutes later, after Minwoo has crashed in his futon at one end of the sitting room. There is no way in hell he is going to share a damn futon with Andy - not with how they are now, anyway. But he knows all too well Andy should not sleep on the sofa, either. Sofas are not good for your back - and Andy already has enough of those problems.

It is while he is lost in these thoughts that he realises the apartment has fallen silent. Apart from the sound of Andy still cleaning up in the kitchen, there is nothing else to be heard. Minwoo is asleep, and judging from the silence in Hyesung's room, they are asleep by now as well (damn, he has to give fifty thousand won to Minwoo in the morning now). It then occurs to him that this is the only private moment he can have with Andy anytime soon. With the way Andy has been acting all night, he obviously will not approach Junjin or give him a chance to go to Andy after this weekend is over.

Junjin cannot allow that. He has been wrecked with fear and uncertainty for too long. He cannot live like this anymore. He needs to know.

~***~

Andy has stopped cursing by the time Junjin enters the kitchen, but it is still with a kind of vengeance that he wipes the sponge zealously over the plates in the sink. There are only a few left.

His back is turned to Junjin and he does not realise he has company until Junjin softly says his name.

Andy nearly drops the plate.

His back is ramrod straight and his eyes guarded when he turns around to face the other man. Very carefully, he puts down the plate on the counter beside him.

'What are you doing here? I'm fine, I don't need help-'

'We need to talk, Sunho.' Junjin uses his real name, slow and deliberate on his tongue, and heavy with implication. Andy falters.

'It's late, go to sleep,' he mumbles, turning back to the sink. 'We have our last rehearsals starting up soon before the tour, you need to rest -'

'Didn't you hear me?' Junjin strides forward and, with a hand on the shoulder, spins Andy around. 'We need to talk. Really talk.'

Andy shakes free, avoiding his eyes again. His lips are pressed tight in a thin line. 'Not now, I'm tired.' And, to Junjin's disbelief, he drops the sponge back in the sink and begins to walk out of the kitchen.

Junjin cannot stop himself. 'You're so full of , you know that!'

Andy stops dead.

'What was it that you said to me? You wanted things to go back to the way they were? You wanted us to act normal with each other? You made me promise I wouldn't push you away again!'

Andy remains frozen in place. With a snarl, Junjin begins pacing back and forth. 'You're such a ing hypocrite, Lee Sunho! You said all those things and yet, tonight you're the one who did the exact opposite to me. Why? Is it because of that ing kiss? The kiss that you started?' His voice increases in volume, his eyes growing more agitated. 'What point were you trying to make to me? What am I supposed to think? Whatever message you're trying to drill into me, look me in the eyes and say it to my face-'

He stops talking when Andy turns to face him, the furious fire inside suddenly dying out. Junjin stares at Andy, at the dark hollow eyes gazing into his own and the slight tremble of his lips. Even now, he cannot read Andy, but the sight shocks him because he has never seen Andy looking so conflicted, so torn between emotions and lost for words. His hands, hanging loosely by his sides, are shaking.

'Andy...' Junjin whispers, unaware of the worry that tinges his voice.

Andy exhales shakily, but this time, he does not look away from Junjin. It takes several seconds, but finally he speaks, a worrying tremor to his voice, 'I'm sorry, Jin...'

Junjin takes a step forward, the anxiety growing within him. 'Andy ... please, just ... talk to me. I want to understand...'

With a shake of the head, Andy steps away from him again. 'How can I make you understand? I don't understand myself in the first place.'

'Understand what?' Junjin keeps on advancing, afraid that Andy keeps backing away; it feels like a physical foreshadowing of Junjin about to lose this man, this precious friend of his, forever. He cannot, will not, let that happen. 'Andy, please stop. Stay ... stay and talk to me.'

'I don't know!' Andy bursts out. 'I don't know myself. I don't understand anything. I'm confused and with you, I'm even more lost.'

'Is this about that night?' Junjin asks desperately. From the stricken look on Andy's face, he knows he hit the jackpot. 'It is, isn't it? Andy ... Sunho ... please. It - it doesn't have to mean anything. You don't have to think about it. It was just an experiment -' He is rambling now, saying whatever came to mind, anything - just to keep Andy with him. His heart is pounding in his chest now, filled with the terror that this friendship is lost. 'Just forget about what happened that night, you don't have to feel weird because of that. It doesn't mean anything. I told you I want you as my friend, that's all I want, nothing more...'

Andy's back hits the wall and Junjin takes the chance to grasp his shoulders, afraid that he may run away. He carefully keeps Andy at arm’s length as far away as possible, understanding how much discomfort the situation must be causing him; but he cannot let go.

Because if he lets go now ... he does not think there will be anything left to save. It will all disappear.

Andy has dropped his gaze and Junjin repeats his last words, 'I want you as my friend, Andy. That's all I beg of you. I promised you last time that I won't burden you with any of my feeli - with anything else, except our friendship. I don't want us to lose what we have... please...'

The younger man finally looks up and it seems to Junjin that his eyes bore a hole through his into Junjin's very soul. Junjin whispers one last time, almost broken, 'That night doesn't mean anything ... not a thing...'

Andy raises his chin. The look in his eyes has changed; it takes the other man aback. 'That kiss really meant nothing to you...?' He asks quietly and his voice is suddenly lower, deeper. The sound of it chills Junjin's blood.

He does not see it coming. Andy's hands are suddenly in his hair, pulling him down and his mind goes blank as, once more, he finds himself driven to the brink of his own undoing by Andy's lips covering his own. Faster than he can process, Andy spins them around so that Junjin is trapped against the wall. He can feel their hearts beating a wild rhythm together as Andy parts Junjin's lips with his own, with a fierceness that was not there the first time they had done this.

Junjin's knees almost buckle when Andy forces his tongue inside his mouth. There is an unexpected desperation in the way Andy kisses him tonight, and biting until Junjin thinks he may die from the pleasure; and his lips and tongue are demanding as he ravages Junjin's mouth - demanding a response, one that Junjin gives. Just like that night in the car, he finds himself pulling Andy close, pressing himself against the other man and kissing him with a sensual passion that rivals Andy's.

It is short this time around. Andy pulls away, freeing his bottom lip from the trap of Junjin's teeth and Junjin makes a soft mewl of disappointment at the loss of contact. Andy remains pressed against him, his heavy breathing washing over Junjin's aching lips, and he gazes up at the taller man with those dark eyes of his and asks lowly,

'Did that really mean nothing?'

And suddenly Junjin remembers where they are and why they are here and he does not know how to answer. Andy's eyes are a mixture of unreadable emotions, but he does not look away and Junjin trembles a little under the heavy gaze.

'It doesn't have to mean anything,' he finally mumbles. The words sound ridiculous to his own ears, especially after what has just happened; after he has felt the raw searching passion and desperation behind Andy's unexpected kiss.

'It doesn't have to...?' Andy repeats dully.

'Not if you don't want it to.' Somehow, speaking those words hurt his heart, but they are true. He still remembers the promise he made Andy, that he will never push his feelings onto him. That all he wants them to be are friends, just like they used to be. 'Nothing has to change...'

Andy looks up at him, and the look on his face is the same one Junjin saw minutes earlier: the conflicted, haunted eyes, torn every which way by feelings he cannot name.

'But that's the problem, Choongjae,' Andy whispers. His name sends a shiver through Junjin. 'That's the thing that I don't understand, the thing I've been trying to figure out for the past week...'

'What are you saying?' Junjin is almost afraid to know the answer.

Andy's mouth tightens. 'Something changed, Choongjae.'

Junjin is shocked into silence.

'Something changed that night. It ... I don't know. Somehow, it does mean something ... to me.'

Junjin drops his arms from around Andy. His heart seems to have completely stopped. He does not know what to think and he just stares at the man in front of him; this conflicted, confused man that is tearing him apart with fear and hope.

'And ... what are you going to do?'

There is silence for a long minute. And then, 'I ... I don't know ... I still don't understand, I'm so confused. But...'

But?

'... Choongjae ... I - I think I want to ... to ... try it again ... with you...'

A/N: Eheheehehehehehehehe yeahhh ... /bangs head on table/ You can blame this chapter on this awful cold I'm having? XD

Please do comment, I really appreciate feedback :D (And I'll reply to those I haven't replied to yet T^T I'm so sorry, guys, just been so busy)