"Let me take care of your wound first, Changmin ah," said Junsu immediately upon entering the maknae’s room, “We can talk later.”

With that, he dragged Changmin to the bathroom and the tap, placing Changmin's palm beneath the running water to wash the debris away from his wound site.

"It hurts, hyung," whined Changmin as he struggled futilely to release his palm from Junsu’s grip, “Let me go.”

Holding Changmin’s palm firmly in his hands, Junsu carefully extracted the pieces of broken glass that were embedded in the wounds, ignoring Changmin’s words of protests.

"It is okay, Changmin ah. The pain’s only temporary,” Junsu reassured Changmin, smiling comfortingly at him as he did so, “It’ll soon be gone and your palm will be fine in no time. You are gonna be alright, you hear me?”

Changmin turned away then, unable to bear the hopeful smile that Junsu wore on his face.

“No,” he muttered, eyes staring at the bathroom tiles that were laid systematically on the ground, “I’m never gonna be alright. I’m never gonna be okay.”

“Changmin ah,” Junsu whispered, unable to bear the resigned look on Changmin’s face, “Hyung’s here. You can tell me anything you want. Please. Don’t say it as though all hope is lost.”

Looking up to Junsu’s tearful gaze of plea, Changmin sighed, the tears falling from his eyes.

“My head hurts, hyung, and my heart hurts too. Every time I close my eyes, all I see is Yunho hyung’s lone shadow that was casted on the walls of our dorm as I walked away from him. I should never have abandoned him, Junsu hyung! Now the guilt’s eating me up inside and there is nothing I can do about it.”

“Changmin…”

“How could I even do that, Junsu hyung? How could that thought even cross my mind?” Changmin continued, heedless of Junsu’s interruption, “I can still remember the utter look of loss and hopelessness on his face, hyung. I can still remember him apologising to me as he did that famous 90 degrees bow he usually gives to his seniors. I can still remember everything! No matter how hard I try, I can’t forget! I can’t forget the fact that I, Shim Changmin, let him down at the moment that he needed me the most!”

“Changmin, it isn’t your fault,” Junsu placated Changmin, “You didn’t know what was going on. You were too shocked to react right?”

“You don’t understand,” Changmin stressed, “You didn’t see Yunho hyung’s state of mind when you three left the company. He was insane, hyung! He wanted to die! He even wrote a suicide letter once. It hurt him so much hyung, it hurt him so bad he couldn’t think of anything else besides the pain he was feeling. And yet I… I…”

Changmin choked on his sobs, his hands clutching Junsu’s as they both sank to their knees on the bathroom floor, Junsu gripping onto him tight.

"…Mianhae Yunho hyung. Mianhae.” Changmin apologised repeatedly as he struggled to speak with his trembling voice, the tears clogging up his throat, “I should have dragged you along with me at that time. I should have comforted you, holding you close to me. I should have stayed with you and be there for you. I should never have left you!”

“I should have done all the things that you done for me all these years we’ve been together as a team. You never let me down. You’re always there to support me. Yet, this is how I repay you. This is how I… I-i…” Changmin started to sob once more as his body began shaking uncontrollably.

“Mianhae, Yunho hyung, mianhae. It’s my entire fault. It’s me who deserves to be abandoned. It’s me who deserves to die. You’ve been so good to me. You… Mianhae, Yunho hyung… It’s all because of me. It’s all me.”

"Changmin ah, Changmin ah, get a hold on yourself, Changmin ah!" Junsu panicked, the tears flowing down his cheeks as he watched on helplessly while Changmin continued berating himself.

"I should have taken him with me and forced him if necessary. I should never have left him there alone in that crap of a company. I should have rescued him from that hellhole! Why was I so angry at that time? Why did I let that anger overwhelm me? I understood Yunho hyung the most out of all. I was there with him throughout. Why did I abandon him now? Why? Why?" Changmin continued to rant; his voice shaking because of his cries.

"Ssssshhhh, calm down Changmin ah. Calm down," Junsu hugged Changmin as he gently led the maknae out of the bathroom and settled him on his bed, sitting next to him with an arm around his shoulder.

"I can’t, Junsu hyung. I can’t go on and pretend like this isn’t getting into me. I can’t do it.”

“Changmin ah,” Junsu comforted, giving Changmin’s shoulders a light squeeze, “Come on. You can do this. I know you can. You’re stronger than you think.”

“It’s not a matter of being strong, hyung, it’s a matter of admitting that I’m a douchebag and an ungrateful ingrate! I was angry at him the last time we met, hyung. I lost my temper at him. I questioned him. I drilled him. I did not even attempt to see things from his view. What a jerk have I been?”

“Changmin ah, I’m sure Yunho hyung understands-”

“But what if he doesn’t?” Changmin interrupted Junsu midway, “What if I never get a chance to apologise to him ever again? What if I never see him again? His last memory of me was me storming away from him in anger, hyung, of all the times we spent together, of all the past we used to share, it had to be that stinking memory, the taint on my soul I can never cleanse. Why am I so stupid?”

“Changmin ah, please, it’s not over yet. We’ll find Yunho hyung. We’ll reunite our band once more. We can do it! Have faith in ourselves.”

“Why must I be angry at that time, hyung?” Changmin plunged on as though he did not hear Junsu’s encouragement, “Why did I ruin the last moment we had together? Why do I keep making the same foolish mistakes again and again? Why am I always doing things I know I will regret doing later? Why am I always disappointing others and myself? Why?”

Hugging Changmin in a snug embrace, Junsu’s tears ran down his face like a broken tap as Changmin continued berating himself in the background. Junsu did not know what to do anymore. He was trying his best to sooth Changmin but the maknae was not even listening to him. He could not stand looking at his cheerful and talkative maknae in such a depressed state but he did not know what he could even do to help him. He did not know what would make Changmin feel better. Tightening his arms around the maknae, Junsu cried alongside Changmin. The feeling of helplessness was coming over him and for the first time in his life, Junsu truly felt the weight of being Changmin’s ‘hyung’. Changmin was hurting and he should be making him feel better but Junsu realised then and there that it was the first time that he had ever seen Changmin breaking down in his whole entire life, and so Junsu had no idea what to do about the crying maknae in his arms. Cursing himself in his heart, Junsu prayed that his embrace would at least help take some of Changmin’s pain away or at least reassure the maknae that he was not alone in this. Looking at the ceiling above their heads, Junsu sighed. Somehow, he knew, if it was Yunho in his place, he definitely would have known what to do and reassure the maknae that his worries were unfounded.

Finally, after crying for a whole half an hour, Changmin’s eyes gradually grew tired and he fell into a deep slumber after a mid-curse about his own stupidity. Junsu tucked Changmin in his bed with a smile. The maknae was finally resting again. Tidying the blanket, and pulling it till it reached Changmin’s chin, Junsu then unlocked the door and walked downstairs, prepared to answer an endless bout of questions by  Jaejoong and Yoochun. Sure enough, the pair was still sitting in the living room and waiting for his arrival. Giving them a wan smile, Junsu sat on the couch, heaving a huge sigh as he did so. Next to him, Jaejoong sat. Though he appeared calm on the outside, Junsu knew he was anything but that. The frown on his forehead was proof of that.

"How was Changmin?" Jaejoong fired away the moment Junsu’s touched the skin of the couch, “Is he alright?”

"Yes, Jaejoong hyung. He’s fine now. I tucked him into bed a few minutes before. I just hope that with a good night’s rest he will be much calmer in the morning," answered Junsu.

"What happened inside?" asked Yoochun without opening his eyes as he rested his head on the arms of the couch, “What’s all that noise we’re hearing?”

"He broke down once more while I was cleaning his wound. He kept blaming himself for not taking Yunho out from the company with him. He also kept apologizing and mentioning Yunho hyung's name."

"What else did he say?" Jaejoong questioned, full of curiosity after hearing his other half name's being mentioned.

"He said the last thing he did to Yunho hyung was getting angry at him and he regretted that so much,” Junsu sighed, “I wonder what really happened,".

"Well, we have no way of knowing till Changmin opens up. In any case, let's just take a rest for today, and we'll see if Changmin wants to share anything with us tomorrow." Jaejoong concluded as he rolled into a more comfortable position, preparing himself for bed as neither of the trio wanted to leave the couch tonight. They were all too tired to move their bodies and the couch was an appealing offer they could not reject.

The night passed by swiftly as Jaejoong, Yoochun, and Junsu slept on the couch throughout. Morning soon arrived and the sunlight shone in, reflecting on all three sleeping participants in the living room. Junsu was the first person who woke up. Smelling the aroma of deliciously cooked food coming from the kitchen, he quickly shook Jaejoong's and Yoochun's body awake, thrilled yet fearful of the identity of the cook in their kitchen.

"What is it, Junsu yah? Did something happen to Changmin?" Jaejoong jumped out of his place, rubbing his sleepy eyes as he blinked them furiously, trying to keep himself awake and alert.

"No, nothing of that sort,” Junsu replied quickly, “more importantly, don't you smell it, hyung? The delicious aroma of food coming from the kitchen... Aren’t you curious as to who is actually cooking all these food?"

“Food?” Jaejoong questioned, his face puzzled as he scratched his head, “You mean the smell?”

Junsu nodded, confirming Jaejoong’s question. Seeing Jaejoong’s and Junsu’s blur faces, Yoochun inwardly suppressed a chuckle. They were really not morning persons were they?

"Hang on guys,” Yoochun announced as he got up from the couch, “stay here and wait. I’ll just go and check the identity of our mystery cook"

With that Yoochun got up and went to the kitchen, determined to find the culprit behind this mystery. He had the shock of his life.

"Chang, Changmin ah…” Yoochun gasped, his mouth hanging wide open for flies to enter.

He didn’t expect he would see Changmin leaving his room, much less cooking in the kitchen.

"Ah, morning Yoochun hyung," greeted Changmin upon noticing his shell shocked hyung, his face beaming with joy, "Are you okay there?"

Yoochun still couldn't get over his shock. Standing there still as a statue, he made no attempt to move, his eyes boring into Changmin’s back with every single movement the maknae made.

"I'm sorry for last night," continued Changmin, ignoring Yoochun’s unrelenting gaze, “I promise I’ll tell you everything from now on, but before that, do you think you can call Jaejoong hyung and Junsu hyung here? Breakfast is ready,"

Bewildered by Changmin’s blatant honesty, Yoochun blinked a few more times before he recovered himself and strode off, calling Junsu’s and Jaejoong’s names as he did so.

“Finally,” Yoochun thought to himself as he left the kitchen with Changmin setting up the table behind him, “Finally Changmin’s gonna say the truth of what happened many years back.”

Squelching the foreboding feeling in his heart, Yoochun ploughed on, unaware that this was just the beginning of one huge disaster.