Jaehwan

                 ‘I swear to god that if you so much as touch a hair on Heechul’s head I will find a way to make you disappear without a trace, all of you’ I spat, fingers digging into the soft flesh of Junho’s shoulder as he laughed. The horrible stench of smoke filling my lungs as put his face close to mine, ‘It’s always been a little of mine to destroy pretty things and Princess is just so damn easy, practically broken already. I’m just giving him the extra push Jaehwan. You should join in cause as soon as that little ray of hope disappears from his eyes he’s as good as dead. He won’t care who he’s with or what he does and I’ll get a fair deal for something as pretty as him. Might earn a few and maybe’ Jaehwan smirked, ‘get a go of the princess myself’. I felt my stomach sink as his word rotted their way into my brain. I shjoved him harder against the wall, anger boiling in my veins as I tremled. The image of a pale and sobbing Heechul popping into my mind, his small frame shaking against mine on the sofa of his dorm as he cried out for everything to stop, for the pain to go away. ‘I won’t let you hurt him, I won’t let you destroy or touch him. Kim Heechul is an innocent man that deserves respect, especially from scum like you. Back off before you get hurt’  I growled, slamming him so his head hit the wall as he grimaced in pain but that dirty smirk never left his face. ‘I’m going to take Kim Heechul and I’m going to ruin him until there is nothing left of the man you teasure so much. I will ruin him, bruise him, strip him of all that pride until he’s a mess. You’re being discharged in two months Jaehwan, he has another five. Nobody will protect him once you’re gone and then? Then he’s mine and I’ll make sure her knows that’

Kyuhyun

        I curled up, sniffling as the tears dried on my cheeks, the pain in my stomach making me cough and gag painfully as I buried myself into the covers. The neiztenz comments running through my head on repeat as I forced myself to not get up and eat. ‘All he does is eat’ ‘his cheeks have swelled so much omg’ ‘look at how his clothes are so baggy, it’s cause he’s hiding his fat’ ‘he used to be so handsome but now he’s just fat. Ewwwwww’. I pressed my shaking hands to my ears, as if it’d stop the replay; take away the noise of their jeers and comments. Even if they were just faceless, nameless people on the Internet their words dug deeper then knives. They cut through the tiny shreds of self-esteem I’d managed to clasp onto when Heechul had left. The small shreds of hope that told me I was good enough, that it wasn’t because I became undesirable but no, with the words in front of me there was no more denying that I wasn’t good enough. If they could see it from photographs and interviews on their computer and TV screens, what does Heechul think looking at me in real life? Maybe the reason he hasn’t been trying to talk to me about my behaviour is because of how repulsive I’ve become. I bet the scars he used to kiss and reassure me about were stretched from my fatness and even more disgusting. I slipped a hand under my shirt, running it along the scars, old and the newer ones. The ones from my motorbike accident still stung when touched, even after nearly two years. They still felt as raw as the day I awoke in the hospital bed with an unconscious Heechul beside me, they still burned. Now more then ever since my weight gain had stretched them. I forced myself to stay still, to repress the gagging as my stomach tried and failed to find some source of nutrition.

            I shut my eyes tightly, burying my face in my pillow at the sound of footsteps and light knock on my door. ‘Kyuhyun-ah? Are you awake?’ Heechul’s voice was soft as his knock but I stayed silent, unable to face him after my thoughts. He waited for a few seconds and I could imagine him. I could see him standing there, knuckles barely pressed against the door softly as he tried to decide whether he should knock again or just enter. His soft pink bottom lip between his pearly white teeth as fought an inner battle before opening the door. I let myself relax as he stepped into the room. I tried not to smile as a small chuckle left5 his lips. ‘Still sleeps just as cutely as I remember’ Heechul whispered to himself softly as he ventured further into the room. My heart speeding up with the sound of his voice and approaching footsteps. He remembers how I use to sleep, that had to be a good sign, right? The smell of strawberry filled the room as he placed a plate and cup on my locker softly, trying not to make too much noise. I bit the inside of my cheek to repress the way my mouth water. I knew he’d made my favourite fruit smoothie and toast with strawberry jam. I always request it when I was sick or just not hungry enough to eat.

      The bed dipped and I stopped breathing, praying he couldn’t hear how fast my heart was beating as his soft fingers brushed the hair out of my face softly before tracing the acne scars on the side of my face just like he use to when he use to sooth me to sleep when things were rough. ‘I’m sorry for being so mean earlier; I don’t know where those words came from. Suddenly you were there, the tension was gone and you…you called me by that name and I didn’t know how to react. I’m hurting Kyuhyun, I know you are too and I…I wish I could just make things go back to how they use to be before all of this. Maybe I shouldn’t have come back just yet….’ Heechul sighed softly, his voice soft and sad. ‘No Hyung, I’m so glad to see you again, I’m so happy to hear your voice again. I want you here’ I thought to myself as my skin tingled softly from his soft touches. ‘I had this strange idea that I’d surprise you and everything would be ok. That when you walked into that living room last week and saw me everything would melt away, that you’d take me in your arm or if you were crying I’d pull you into mine and hold you. I had so many things I wanted to tell you. Now…now the words won’t come out because I don’t even know if you’re still mine anymore…’ I could hear the tears in his voice. It took all my strength not to shake my head, sit up and pull him into my arms. To wipe away the silent tears that were defiantly rolling down those soft cheeks by now and reassure him. ‘I’m still yours, I always have been. I just don’t know how to win you back’.  Heechul started to laugh softly, a low un-amused chuckle, ‘If you could hear me right now, you’d only run further away. I hope you wake up and eat before it gets too cold; I don’t want to see you end up collapsing like me a few weeks ago. Be healthy, maybe then I can work up the courage to let you go completely Kyu’. ‘You collapsed? When? Why didn’t anybody tell me? You’re body is already so fragile, anything could hurt, anything could take you from me. Please don’t let me go Hyung; give me a reason to hold on. Some hope. Please Hyung’ I begged, biting the inside of my cheek painfully to stop the tear that threatened to fall. ‘Heenim…don’t…don’t go…please…’ I muttered breathily, pretending to turn towards him as if I was deep asleep. I felt him remove himself from the bed with a soft creek. A loving sighs leaving his lips as he lent down, soft lips pressing against mine for the shortest of seconds, taking my breath away like he always did. His fingers were back at my hair, before his lips pressed a shakier kiss to my forehead. ‘I’m a coward. I keep running away for you baby Kyu but I can’t do this on my own, I can’t come back with out something to hold onto’ he muttered softly, fingers lingering on my cheeks softly.

               I felt the panic rise in my chest as I heard him turn and I don’t know what came over me. My hand snapped out suddenly, fingers wrapping tightly around his slim wrist as soft whines left me lips, as if I was having a nightmare. ‘No…I don’t like this…stop…please don’t hurt me…’ small sobs left my lips as I cursed myself in my head. I wasn’t able to stop myself from attempting to keep him close. I wanted him here. I wanted to wake up to him beside me, even if this was the last time. Even if he intention was to wake up before I did and leave me as if it’d never happened. He’d think I’d never know, the others wouldn’t say anything. Then he’d be gone and I couldn’t even begin to consider that thought. ‘Oh Kyu, I’m here baby Kyu’ Heechul whispered softly as he pulled back the covers, slipping in beside me. I let my body stay limp as I continued to release small frightened whimpers every now and again as he shift me so I rested on his chest, one of his hands my hair while the other held me close as if I was fading fast and he needed to make sure I was still real. ‘Just for tonight, just for tonight I’ll pretend that we’re together again and that I can protect you, that I haven’t ruined s. God, I love you Kyu. I’m so sorry for hurting us’ Heechul whispered softly, burying his head in my hair. In his arms I felt the terrors melt away. There was no more voice screaming in my head, no more faceless people throwing insults at me. There was just him. The smell of his sweet cologne and the warmth of his thin yet strong arms around me, hiding me from all the monsters. It was just us under the blanket. No one to point out that we’d been apart from almost two years. No one to tell us we were wrong for each other. I gazed up at his sleeping face, the smile I loved on his face as he finally relaxed. All worries gone from his face. I pressed a kiss to his chin, snuggling deeper into his chest. The words falling from my lips softly. ‘Just give me a bit more time Heenim. I need to find the right words. One I have them; I’ll never let you go. Just wait for me, please. Just a little longer’

       I smiled brightly as tucked the covers around Heechul’s still sleeping form. I placed his phone on my desk beside the empty plate and note I’d left as I head out for recording. I grabbed a few slices of toast and the packed lunch Ryeowook handed me. ‘Someone’s in a good mood this morning’ Ryeowook smiled, clearing away the plates of the ones who had already finished and left. ‘It’s a good day to be a live’ I answered back, chewing on my toast noisily as he glared at me in disgust. ‘You’re twenty six Kyuhyun not five, chew with your mouth closed please’ Ryeowook scrunched his nose in disgust. I rolled my eyes at him, sticking my tongue out as a smack landed on the back of my head. ‘Listen to your Hyung brat’ Kangin laughed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as I pouted. ‘I opened my mouth to talk but the doorbell rang and Kangin reminded me that I had a long drive to the studio. I quickly disposed of the rest of my toast, slipping on my shoes as I answered the door. Jaehwan Hyung smiled slightly at my tousled look as I bowed. ‘ Morning Kyuhyun-sshi, Donghae told me Heechul is down here? I thought it’d be quicker if we travel together from now on’ Jaehwan said as I opened the door wider for him. ‘He’s in the last room on the left, it has ‘Kyu and Minnie’ written on the door’ I smiled slightly, surprising the man who I refused to acknowledge anytime he’d been here. ‘He’s…in your room? I see things been you two may have sped up a bit’ Jaehwan smirked as I felt my face flush as I shook my head rapidly. ‘It’s nothing like that, more like accidentally falling asleep’ I stated, trying to cool my burning cheeks. Jaehwan laughed as he slipped of his shoes and jacket, ‘I was just teasing Kyuhyun-sshi’. I nodded, turning to him, ‘Will you promise me something Jaehwan Hyung? I know I don’t know you and you probably hate me because Heechul Hyung has cried a lot because of me but please keep him safe…he came home with bruises and I know I hurt him but I’m working on a way to fix everything and make him smile again. I can’t do that if someone hurting him, I want him to be safe’ I muttered softly. I felt a hand on my shoulder and a heavy gaze I couldn’t meet on me, ‘I’ll try my hardest to protect him Kyuhyun-sshi, you can trust me’.

Heechul

               I rolled over in the soft sheets, a smile tinting my lips as a familiar scent filled my nose and I snuggled deeper into the sheets. I ignored the blasting of my alarm, even though it was his soft voice filling the room. The lyrics to Love Again washing over me like they did every morning, creating the impression that he was nearby by and practicing. I always tricked myself into believing he was with me. I sighed, letting my eyes blink open as I felt sunlight on my skin. I reached out a hand expecting Heebum to bump his soft head against it and meow for me to feed him but I was met with a cute cat plushie that was wearing a chain with a familiar silver ring on it. I rolled onto my back, gazing up at the white ceiling before noticing the guitar and piano in the corner of the room along with countless headsets and game boxes. Then it clicked. Kyuhyun. I was in Kyuhyun and Sungmin’s room. I’d come in and he was having a nightmare, I couldn’t leave him like I did before. I wouldn’t let the terrors haunt him while I ran again, I wanted to fix things. I sat up, gazing at the table beside me. Another smile tugged at my lips as I saw the empty plate and cup, picking up the note that had his curly delicate handwriting. ‘I had a nightmare last night about being alone but suddenly it ended because your face appeared and to make it even better…I woke up to your peaceful face. Thank you for not leaving me Hyung. Also, the food was delicious; remind me to make you Kyu pizza someday in return. Hyung…there are words I wish I could say but they keep getting stuck in my throat, please trust me Hyung so I can find the right words and fix this. Till then please be okay, I don’t think I can find them if you’re hurting. Have a good day Hyung, only think of me and not that muscle giant Jaehwan, Okay? ^^’.

            ‘That idiot, still making ordering his Hyung around, stupid stupid brat’ I whispered, chuckling softly as my eyes watered slightly from the sweet words. ‘Alright, I’ll trust you maknae’ I smiled, stretching and letting out a yawn as the door opened. I sat up straight, squirming nervously as I hoped for Kyuhyun to walk back through the door but was greeted by Jaehwan knowing smirk. He coughed, raising an eyebrow, ‘Someone got busy last night, need help walking princess?’. I scoffed, getting out of bed as I glared at him. ‘Mind out of the gutter you ert. I fell asleep while comforting him, he has night terrors sometimes and I always avoided them, I’m trying to fix things’ I said softly, grabbing one of Kyuhyun’s tank tops to wear under my uniform and a jumper to wear on the way to and from work. Jaehwan smiled, letting a huff of air out softly, ‘Funny, the kid said something very like that to me this morning as he left for work’. I turned, face scrunching with curiosity, ‘you talked to Kyuhyun-ah? What did he say?’. I could feel my insides squirm in excitement, maybe he’d said something to Jaehwan, something about me that meant we were getting back on track. Jaehwan smirked, leaning in to tap my nose with one of his fingers, speaking teasingly, ‘none of your business Heechul. It’s between me and lover boy, now go shower, you smell’. I scowled, attempting to hit him as he dashed down the hallway, shouting something about making me breakfast.

             I massaged my temples softly, groaning slightly as I felt a headache approaching. Hours upon hours of staring at a computer screen and working up new ways to promote the army and dealing with complaints were tough. Each hour that went by felt like six and I wasn’t even half way through the day. I could only imagine how frustrate Jaehwan must be down in accounts, trying to deal with all those figures swimming around in his head. I smiled slightly, knowing that when I saw him at lunch he’d most likely have a red mark on his head from where he’d banged it off the table multiple times. ‘Kim Heechul’ a deep voice drew me from my work. I stood up quickly, saluting my commanding officer as he smiled at me in amusement. ‘Not dead yet Kim?’ he teased, knowing how much I hated Mondays as the complaints from the weekend had built up considerably. ‘No sir, still alive and kicking, just not kicking the people that need a good kick’ I smiled brightly as he laughed, placing a hand on my shoulder to give me strength. ‘Sit Heechul-ah, I have a request from the higher ups for you’ he ordered as he pushed me into my seat. I felt my stomach twist in knots, not sure of what type of news I was going to get. Hopefully they weren’t making me work extra, Christmas was in two weeks and I wanted to spend as much time as I could with the boys before they left for tours. ‘Calm down Kim, you’re not in trouble’ he teased, pulling up a chair from the empty desk across the way. ‘Really? Normally I’m always in trouble’ I joked. I liked my commanding officer. Before entering I heard about how they were often old horrible injured war veterans who thought everyone in public was taking the easy way out yet when I arrived on the first day I was greeted with a smiling face and a helpful hand.

      ‘You’ve heard of our weekly radio show, right?’ he asked, a small smile on his face as I nodded. ‘Well the officer currently in charge of the show is going to be discharged after Christmas so we were hoping, that due to your skills from the idol world, that you’d take over in February and will take you off it a few months before your discharge so it doesn’t create hype for the quiet discharge your company would like for you. So, are you up for the challenge Kim?’ he asked, watching as a smile, the first real on I’d ever shown in the office covered my. ‘Sir…I…would love to do it…I can’t believe it, are you sure you want me to do this?’ I asked excitedly, trying not to jump out of my seat with excitement. ‘You deserve a treat for being such a good officer, we had our doubts about you when you first joined but you’ve shown us how mature you are so we decided you’re the best fit for the job, congratulations Kim. Now go on, your break is starting’ he laughed at my excitement, ruffling my hair slightly as he got up and headed to break.

         I all but ran from my desk as I shut down my computer, stacking all my paper work for collection as I raced to find Jaehwan. I reached into my pocket, hand curling around Kyuhyun’s note and couldn’t help but think that his wish for me to have a good day had an affect on their decision. Nothing could ruin my mood I decided. Last night I’d drifted to sleep with the man I had craved for months in my arms once again, I got to feel his heart beat against mine and awoke to a promise of him returning to me if I waited just a little longer. And now, now I’d been given a chance to interact with the fans I had missed so much, to fill the hole that had been left in my stomach when I’d said goodbye to Radio Star. Nobody could take the smile off my face today. ‘What’s the rush princess? Got some guy waiting in a car outside to give you a ride?’ Junho’s voice filled my ears, but not even his words could stop me. I rolled my eyes, shooting him a bright smile, ‘Don’t be embarrassed about your line of work sweetheart, no one will judge you for making a quick buck’. I heard him growl and I knew what was coming but it wouldn’t ruin my mood, not even when his hand gripped my throat tightly, shoving me against the wall in the empty hallway. This was the on black spot in the building, no cameras to record what happened here, it was everyone’s safe spot. ‘What did you say princess?’ He all but spat in my face as I coughed weakly, smile still on my lips. ‘Y-you heard me; don’t embarrass yourself further by making me repeat it. Your costumer is waiting is he not?’ I struggled to get out while trying to gain air. I dug deep, thinking of the times I was weak and wished I was strong enough to change everything. Kyuhyun’s pale face came to mind, all the images of the times I’d sat by his bed side not sure if he was going to wake up ever again filling me with a sudden burst of energy as I shoved Junho off. ‘I have places to be, I can’t waste time on someone like you, find a new punch bag. I won’t take this anymore’ I growled slightly, lowering my voice to make it seem deeper.

     Junho stared at me in confusion and my throat burned but I took my chance and sprinted, throwing the door open and stumbling into a strong chest. ‘Whoa Chul, cool the jets. I know I’m handsome but I don’t swing that way with out dinner first’ Jaehwan deep rumble of a laugh filled my ears as I relaxed in his hold. I couldn’t help but chuckle along with him, ‘Didn’t think you were that easy Jae’. Jaehwan shrugged, throwing an arm around my shoulder as he led me down the hallway, away from Junho. ‘Hey a guy has got to eat Chul, not all of us get meals for free from the noona down the street’. ‘Hey, it’s not my fault you were born ugly Jae, take that up with your parents’. ‘I’ll tell my mum on you and that’ll be the end of your free meals from her’. ‘Okay…I’m sorry Jae, you’re average…’ ‘Yah!’ 

A/N annyeong ^^ So what do you guys think? Is Junho going to be a problem? Will Kyuchul solver everything and be all fuffy and happy? kekeke hope you enjoyed the update, once again sorry about how slow everythings going :'(