a/n: unbeta'ed, no proof read, sorry...

"Are you going to tell him or what?" Jongin asked Junmyeon one day, when they were having a water break at soccer game. During that time, Baekhyun was sprawled on the grass beside Jongin like a starfish, all arms and legs.

Junmyeon looking at his dongsaeng beside him, confused. It's not like he didn't know what Jongin was talking about, what he didn't expect was the sudden mention about it. But maybe, Jongin wasn't talking about what he thought it was, maybe about something else he couldn't remember, because, to be completely honest, he was short of some information about their group these days, because his mind was occupied by something, someone, to be exact. So, he was playing safe when he shot back a question to Jongin, "Tell who about what?"

Jongin sighed, and Junmyeon knew by then that it was really about what he thought it was. Jongin absentmindedly playing with Baekhyun's brown locks, either thinking about what to say, or simply because he likes playing with Baekhyun's soft locks, in which, he guessed was the latter.

Baekhyun opened his eyes, peeking through his bangs, exchanging looks with Jongin before rolling on his stomach and propped his chin on Jongin's knee. "You know what he was talking about hyung!" He said.

Yeah, Baekhyun is one of the smartest members in their group, but really, one didn't need to be that smart to know what all of this was about. So, Junmyeon has two options, first is to play dumb with the risk of mistakenly reputed as a dumb person, or going with wherever that conversation bring him to. After arguing with himself for about ten second, he decided to just going with the conversation.

“Are you guys talking about him?” He said as he tilted his head to his left, pointing at a short male few meters away from them, who was chatting with Luhan.

Yeah, Kim Minseok was the one to blame for everything happened to Junmyeon’s life these last few months. It was all started when they were preparing their new album. Since this coming promotional cycle both M and K will be promoting together, automatically, all the members practically spent all the times on their hands together. Junmyeon would come to Minseok from time to time to discuss things with him because he’s the eldest of the group. They would talk about the members and their problems together, just the two of them, in the middle of the night when the rest of the members were asleep, or sometimes they would catch bubble tea together. And it was just hits him one day, that he’s in love, pathetically in love with the older boy.

There was something about Minseok, Junmyeon realize, that has an ability to pull him deeper and deeper into his feeling up to the point where he can’t escape himself anymore. Maybe the way he showed his gummy smile, Junmyeon guessed. But then again, when he saw the older male one morning, too early into the day, in the kitchen, making a cup of coffee while mumbling some familiar old song he couldn’t quite remember, he thought it could also be the sight of his back facing him and the soft melody coming from Minseok that drawn him. But Junmyeon decided, at last, that it doesn’t matter.

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, chin still comfortably propped on Jongin’s knee. So typically Baekhyun, Junmyeon thinks. But with that, Junmyeon understands that their conversation, unwanted one on his side, was indeed about Minseok.

“Was I that obvious?” Junmyeon murmured to himself, but apparently a little bit too loud, because, he saw Baekhyun moving from his comfortable spot and sat himself cross legged beside Jongin.

“It doesn’t matter whether if you are being obvious to us,” Baekhyun started, earning some nods of agreement from Jongin even before he finished his words. “What matters is,” he continued, “You are not being obvious enough to Minseok hyung.” Baekhyun said it as if Junmyeon should be obvious about his feelings towards Minseok.

Right, that’s right, Junmyeon thought. Not the part that he should be obvious about his feelings, but the part that Minseok still didn’t realize anything about his feeling, yet, in which, he partially thank full about, for he afraid of what could happen if Minseok did.

“I don’t even know what to do.” Which is stupid, because everyone knows that he should just man up, go to Minseok, tell him about his feeling and wish for a happy ending, but if it doesn’t, then he just need to move on. Ok, Junmyeon gets it, but it really wasn’t as easy as the theory, because in this case, his feeling was involved. And as coward as it sounds, he didn’t want to get hurt, even though not doing anything was just almost as bad.

Jongin and Baekhyun sighed, well, Baekhyun’s was a little bit exaggerated of course.

“Hyung, listen,” Baekhyun said, and all Junmyeon could think about was this is going to be serious.“We need our Leader! Because I can count the week to our comeback with one of my hand and we need our leader.” Oh, well, he didn’t expect it to be that serious though.

Junmyeon put on his confused look, he was indeed confused about what he just heard. “What are you talking about? I AM your leader” he retaliates, feeling a little offended by what the younger just said.

“Were you even there? As a leader?” No, that wasn’t Baekhyun, that was Jongin who stabbed him with the questions. “Remember when Sehun came to you last week?”

Okay, Junmyeon didn’t quite remember about Sehun came to him last week. Maybe Sehun indeed came to him, but what were they talking about? Was it about comeback? Or maybe dance moves? But if it was about dance moves then he would came to Jongin or Yixing instead of him. And he was sure it wasn’t about singing part nor rap part because he wasn’t the master of both. So, what could it be about?

Apparently, Junmyeon’s expression was just too easy to read. But he thought that it was just his dongsaengs were too smart, for his defense.

“You don’t remember, don’t you?” Jongin asked a rather rhetorical question, because he was obviously don’t. “You didn’t pay attention to anything these days hyung, it almost feels like you are somewhere else.” Maybe Junmyeon can finally agree that this was getting really serious.

He was being selfish, Junmyeon admitted. His feeling wasn’t supposed to make an impact to s. He was the leader of the group and he supposed to be responsible for it. But on the other hand, he was clueless about what to do at all. He thought, it was inappropriate for him to put their group’s cord at stake because of his feeling, because, let’s be real, if he happened to confess to Minseok and turned out that Minseok doesn’t have the same feeling as him, something will definitely change.

“What should I do?” Junmyeon finally gave up thinking. He needs help, preferably soon, even though that means he needs to shoot his own foot.

“Go to him, and tell him about it!” Baekhyun said cliché. And Junmyeon prefer shooting his own foot.

“Will it’s going to work? I mean, it seems like he likes Luhan more than he likes me.” Junmyeon said as he hopelessly staring at the back of Minseok’s head, who now jumping around like a bunny.

When Junmyeon turned his head back to face his dongsaengs, he was welcomed with a strange look from both younger boys. “Luhan hyung is with Yixing hyung, they were head over heels towards each other.” Jongin stated a fact, while Baekhyun was speechless at Junmyeon.

Baekhyun let out another exaggerated sigh, a little bit more desperately this time, if that was possible. “Hyung, listen,” He said with a more sympathetic tone, because he was genuinely concerned after all, “Trust me, Minseok hyung has no that kind of feeling towards Luhan hyung, and as you know, Luhan hyung obviously don’t too.” And Junmyeon desperately wanted to trust him.

Baekhyun shifted a little closer towards Junmyeon and put his hand on Junmyeon’s knee, and Junmyeon can tell that Baekhyun was actually a really caring person. “We do want our leader back before our comeback, but, what we all want the most is to see our hyung being happy.” Baekhyun looking deep into Junmyeon’s eyes, making sure he got his messages well received by Junmyeon, and he was sure it did when he got a small nod from Junmyeon.

“You wouldn’t go anywhere if you are not making any moves,” Baekhyun continued, “And you were being unfair towards Kris hyung.” Junmyeon couldn’t hide his shocked face when Baekhyun said the last sentence. And once again his expression was well read by Baekhyun. “Sehun came to him last week when you didn’t pay attention to what he said. And remember? Sehun is not his maknae. I mean, you know, Sehun spent more times with you than him the whole last year, you should know him better than Kris hyung, but Kris hyung tried his best to listen to him, because you wouldn’t, and he didn’t even say anything about it.”

Junmyeon then agreed that he has to do something, but still, he need the time to prepare himself. And when both Jongin and Baekhyun said that they will help with some foxy smirk on their face, Junmyeon questioning his decision again.

==========

The first attempt from Jongin and Baekhyun to help Junmyeon was happened on one evening. Their practice that day ended earlier than it was supposed to because half of their members were out of focus and the other half were half dead from the continuous practice before comeback, so their managers decided that they didn't really feel like having a responsibility if anything happened to them and sent them home earlier.

Junmyeon was in the living room, having his buried on the couch while flicking through all TV channels, not really interested in any shows on and just waiting for his turn to use one of the showers. In the middle of whining mentally over how nothing was worth to watch on the TV, he heard someone calling him from the hallway. "Junmyeon?"

Junmyeon recognized the voice all too well, because how perfect his name sounds on that voice, making his heart almost jumped out of his throat. He turned his head in such an embarrassing speed and welcomed by a glorious sight. Oh, well, that was actually a Kim Minseok after bath, hair still wet, wearing an oversized cartoon shirt and pajama pants. But to Junmyeon it was look like one scene in that cheesy teen drama, where everything was in slow motion and sparkly. Minseok looks extremely beautiful, emphasize on extremely, while flicking his wet hair and batting his lashes like what he always do. And Junmyeon can even notice the water dripping down Minseok's milky white neck. And yes, it was painful.

"Y..yeah?" Oh God! Did he just stuttering?

Minseok chuckled, "What? Why you look like someone who just saw a ghost?" He said as he walked closer and took a seat beside Junmyeon.

Junmyeon was thinking about something cheesy in his head. Something like, no I'm not seeing a ghost but an angel, sort kind of things. But no, he's not that stupid to say it out loud. "No, I was just surprised. I wasn't paying attention."

Minseok nodded while circling his towel around his neck and snatching the remote control from Junmyeon's hand. "So?" Minseok said as he flicking through the TV channels like Junmyeon did a while ago. "What did you want to talk about with me?"

In a split second, Junmyeon replying all activities he did in the past 24 hours, but he couldn't recall telling Minseok that he wanted to talk about something. The only thing related to Minseok he did was drooling over him in the practice room, kind of, but that was just him. And in the middle of confusion, he blurted out, "Me?"

Minseok frowned, and threw a confused glance towards Junmyeon from the corner of his eyes. "Baekhyun told me that you wanted to talk to me." He said.

Right, Byun Baekhyun, that’s pretty much, explains everything.

"Ah......" the only respond Junmyeon can manage to make without saying anything stupid, not that that one was clever, but, yeah, you get the idea. Junmyeon thought, that it would be better if Baekhyun could tell him beforehand before making any effort. He appreciates that, of course, but at least he could think about something clever, or less embarrassing to say.

"So?" Minseok asked again, still frowning, but that time, was because he couldn't find anything interesting on TV too.

"It's about.... the boys!" Junmyeon said. Sure, the easiest thing to say, at that time, Junmyeon feels proud of himself nonetheless. Inside his head, he mentally making up scenarios about Baekhyun's problem, which is, not exists of course, but, hey, he needed a conversation material.

"Which one? All ten of them?" Minseok said, giving up about the TV, throwing the remote control to his other side, and turned his head to face Junmyeon.

“No, that was...” Right when Junmyeon was about to tell about his made up story, he heard someone coming out from the shower. He didn’t think much, he didn’t think at all actually, when he quickly said, “It’s not a big deal! We can just talk about it later, I need to take a shower, it’s my turn!” And with that he stood up from the couch and proceeding to the bathroom. Junmyeon could almost swear that he saw Minseok’s disappointed eyes following him as he got up from the couch, but maybe that was just his wishful thinking. But he was a hundred percent sure that Jongin and Baekhyun who were pressing onto each other over the kitchen counter to steal his conversation with Minseok sent him a deadly glare.

What Jumyeon didn’t know was that Minseok knew, that was Sehun who was coming out from the shower, and everyone knew, it supposed to be Zitao’s, not Jumyeon’s turn to use the bathroom after Sehun.

==========

After that night, Baekhyun simply couldn’t stand it, he does whatever it takes to make a chance for Junmyeon to talk to Minseok, but Junmyeon managed to just ruin all of them.

Like one night when they were having a break in between dance practices, Baekhyun somehow managed to bring all nine members out from the practice room, leaving Junmyeon and Minseok alone there. Junmyeon still didn’t know how Baekhyun did that, but, then again, it’s Baekhyun, the Byun Baekhyun we talking about, it’s a self explanatory, no further explanation needed.

That night was actually a perfect chance for Junmyeon. Minseok was in a bright mood, their dance instructor praised him a lot, and he talked a lot more than usual, he was just in a good mood overall. When the other boys were somewhere outside, Junmyeon sat in the corner of practice room, contemplating whether if that was the right time to finally make a move, while Minseok sitting on a bench, watching their new recorded dance practice video, smiling and feeling proud of himself.

“Do you think I’m doing well with the dance?” Minseok suddenly asked Junmyeon, whose thought were up high in another dimension.

Junmyeon startled at the sudden question. His heart lurched down to his stomach and all his courage leaving his body in a split second. He was amazed how someone can do that much to him. “Y.. Yeah! Sure! You’re doing great!” He stuttered. But before Minseok could say anything else, Junmyeon got up from his corner, and walking towards the door, he needs some air to catch, being in the same room alone with Minseok making him losing half of his ability to breathe.

“Where are you going?” Minseok asked, when Junmyeon’s hand reached the door knob.

“Restroom.” Junmyeon could only answered short before closing the door behind him.

And everyone was too tired to realize that for the rest of the night, Minseok back to his usual quite self.

==========

“Forget it! It’s not gonna happen!” Baekhyun said one day, lying on Jongin’s bed, face down, while Jongin and Junmyeon jostled on Junmyeon’s bed watching some random action movie on Jongin’s laptop.

“What is not gonna happen?” Jongin asked, didn’t bothered to move his eyes from the laptop.

“What else? Jonmyeon hyung and Minseok hyung!” Baekhyun said as he turned to his side.

Jongin threw a glare towards Baekhyun, to reprimand the older boy, because the whole situation wasn’t a joke to Junmyeon. Junmyeon has a responsibility as a leader aside from his feeling. And Junmyeon awkwardness wasn’t any help at all, because he would became even more awkward around Minseok, which can lead to a misunderstanding, which in fact, Jongin could already feel.

Junmyeon’s eyes still locked on the laptop screen, but they weren’t focused on the movie anymore.  He was having a battle with himself. After a few minutes, he finally spoke, “I know. I’m not making things better, if anything, it seems like everything became worse.”

Jongin widen his eyes towards Baekhyun, trying to communicate with his eyes. Baekhyun got it, but before he could say something Junmyeon said something unacceptable to them, “I’m sorry.”

Baekhyun apologized, he was feeling guilty, he didn’t mean to make Junmyeon feel bad at all. By the end of everything, all Bakehyun wanted was Junmyeon to be happy, but he just didn’t quite know what to do.

Junmyeon said it was okay, that he was okay, with a smile on his face, the kind of smile that didn’t reach his eyes. And Jongin kind of ignoring Baekhyun for about two days after that.

==========

Junmyeon tried. He did. He did try his best to make things better. He tried his best to hide his feeling without avoiding Minseok on daily basis. There are times when he considering about just telling Minseok about how he feels, you know, just to make a closure whatsoever.

But with all the comeback preparation, he realized that he got so many things on his hands. He has members who were really anxious about their upcoming comebacks, and he would come to them to be a good listener and calm them down. Some members fell sick, so he became their personal nurse. Some of them fighting with each other, so he need to make them get along again. And the list goes on.

Kris was trying to somehow share the burden of the leader into two like usual, because however half of their members spent more time with him last year, and it would be a lot easier and fairer for him to handle them. But Junmyeon felt guilty about Sehun’s incident, so he took the responsibility as much as his small body could handle.

And it drained him. Because by the end of the busy day. When all the members were asleep, and all the light goes off, he was wide awake on his bed, silently crying himself to sleep. He was just fall in love.

==========

Maybe God couldn’t stand it too, so that He actually made an effort Himself to help the hopeless Junmyeon.

It was late at night, hours passed since they ended their practice. Junmyeon was rolling around his bed from side to side, wide awake. Grabbing his phone under his pillow, he squinted at the blinding light while checking the clock, realizing that he wouldn’t get more than 4 hours of sleep, he did the math.

Carefully, Junmyeon lifted his blanket and hopped down his bed, using his phone as the only source of light while proceeding to the door. He turned the doorknob as quite as possible, and froze for a few second on his spot when he heard Jongin mumbling in his sleep, afraid that he woke the dancer up. When he heard no more sound from both his roommate, he pulled the door open, just enough for him to slip his body out. He walked to the kitchen, still trying not to make any noises, to grab some warm tea, hopefully, will help him to sleep.

Junmyeon was filling his mug with hot water when someone’s voice greeted him, sending chills through each of his spine, and he swears he could hear his blood rushed inside his veins.

“Can I have some of that too?” The voice asked him in a tired tone.

Junmyeon turned his head towards the source of that voice, and his heart swells at the sight.

Minseok looks so tiny in his oversized baby blue hoodie and a pair of pajama pants with slightly darker color. His face looks tired, but there’s no sign of sleepiness, just tired, and some other expression Junmyeon couldn’t quite catch. His hair was perfect, Minseok’s hair is always perfect, Junmyeon thought, it was almost like a miracle.

Junmyeon cleared a lump in his throat before saying a short “Sure!” and catch Minseok’s smile.

While, making two mugs of warm tea, Junmyeon could hear Minseok’s slippers scrapped the wooden floor, and a chair being pulled. Taking a deep breath, he turned his body with two mugs of nicely made warm tea on his hand, bringing them to where Minseok sat on the dining table, and put them on the table before pulling a chair for himself.

There’s no words exchanged for what seemed like forever, before Minseok initiated a conversation, which started with, “Why are you angry at me?”

Junmyeon wasn’t sure whether if he heard things right. Did Minseok just ask him whether if he was angry at him? Angry? How could he got angry when Minseok did nothing wrong? He must heard things wrong. “What?” He asked back.

Minseok playing with the spoon in his mug, and asked the same question to Junmyeon, “Why are you angry with me?”

So, his ears didn’t deceive him, Junmyeon thought, Minseok indeed asked him that question. He became even more confused. “I’m not angry with you. Why would I?”

“That’s what I wanted to know.” Minseok said back.

“What makes you think I’m angry with you?”

Minseok chewing his lower lip, making him looks ten times cuter to Junmyeon, but it wasn’t the time to think about how cute Minseok was.

“I don’t know..” Minseok started, “You seem avoiding me these days, and we don’t even talk like... like we used to.” Disappointment was evident in his voice when he said that.

Junmyeon’s heart died a little. He didn’t mean to do it. He didn’t mean to make Minseok thinks that he was mad at him. Now he felt guilty, he couldn’t imagine how Minseok feels the last few weeks when he was busy avoiding him, Minseok must feel really bad.

Junmyeon fell silent. He was in the deep thought of what to say, didn’t even realize that some minutes were passed. His thought was interrupted when he heard the legs of a chair scratched the floor, and when he lifted his head, he saw Minseok was standing already.

“I.. I’m sorry if I made you angry, but I wish, you could at least tell me what I did wrong, maybe later...” Minseok said before turning his body, ready to leave.

Junmyeon panicked, he didn’t expect all of this. So he did the first thing crossed his rain at that time. He grabbed Minseok wrist and pull him back to his seat.

The older boy were shocked, his eyes went twice bigger when he felt Junmyeon slightly bigger hand pulled his wrist making him fell back on his chair. And when he thought he couldn’t be even more shocked, the next thing he saw was Junmyeon kneeling in front of him. “Wha.. what? What are you doing?”

Junmyeon didn’t know what he was doing too. He was as shocked as Minseok when he found himself kneeling in front of Minseok with his arms on each side of him, trapping him down. He didn’t know what possessed him when he slowly closing the gap between him and Minseok. When he realized what he was doing, it was too late, they were too close already. He could see each of Minseok’s eye lashes, and he could feel Minseok’s warm breath on his upper lip. Heck, he could even smell the mixed scent of tea and faint hint of mint from their shared toothpaste.

It was too close, Minseok was too beautiful, the temptation was too big. So Junmyeon omitted the gap between Minseok’s lips and his completely.

Minseok’s lips were soft, and warm, just like what he imagined, no, it was actually a lot better than that. Junmyeon feels like all the organs inside of his body dropped to his feet, and he could actually hear the sound of his own heartbeat.

At first, Junmyeon could feel that Minseok tensed beneath him, and his brain was racing, thinking about what he was doing, expecting Minseok to pushed him away at any given time. But instead of pushing him away, Junmyeon could feel Minseok relaxed into the kiss, making his confidence raised to the sky. Slowly, he moved his lips against Minseok’s, and giving a little pressure, taking his time and giving him slow and long kiss. When he feels Minseok snaking his hands on his upper arms, he braved himself to on Minseok’s lower lip and glide his tongue along, earning a sharp breathe intake from the older male. And he was sure he was actually doing a good job.

The kiss lasted for a few minutes, Minseok letting Junmyeon in to explore his warm mouth. Gliding his tongue along Minseok’s teeth and the roof of his mouth, remembering every single detail. They only separated when the need of oxygen became unbearable, and stayed in silence, forehead pressed to each other, panting softly.

“I’m not angry with you, if anything, I’m hopelessly in love with you, I don’t even know what to do.” Junmyeon finally confessed.

Minseok pulled his head a little, enough to see Junmyeon’s eyes. “So you like me?” He asked. And Junmyeon nodded.

Minseok then letting out a sound that somewhat sounded like a mix of chocked sob and relieved laughter, before burying his face into the crook of Junmyeon’s neck, earning a shiver from the younger of the two. “You should’ve just told me!” He was mumbling into Junmyeon’s skin.

Junmyeon raised his eyebrow but not making any move to push Minseok away, not that he wanted to. “You have no problem with that?” He asked.

Minseok lifted his face from Junmyeon’s neck and cupped his cheek with both of his hands. He smiled lovingly at the boy in front of him, before leaning forward and pressed his lips to the other boy, giving him a slow and sweet kiss. After a while he pulled back and staring deep into Junmyeon’s eyes, and asked, “Should I?”

The smile on Junmyeon’s face was just so bright, the first genuine happy smile he put up ever since the whole thing with his feeling started few weeks ago. “Do you want to be my boyfriend?” He finally asked the question he’d been dying to ask. And when Minseok answered him with a “Yes!” he feels like a huge burden was lifted up from his heart and shoulder, he didn’t even realize the single tear he shed when he hugged the small male in front of him.

==========

“I regret it now!” Baekhyun whined when he rummaging through the kitchen cabinet to find some snacks.

“What is?” Minseok asked.

“Look! Just a while ago I saw Luhan hyung and Yixing hyung cuddling on Yixing hyung’s bed, now I walk into the kitchen to see you two giggling like some high school couple, I can’t even find a peace in this dorm!” Baekhyun said and flailing his snack in the air.

“Baek...” Junmyeon sighed, “We are just making ramyun, what’s so wrong about that? And leave Luhan and Yixing alone would you?”

“Hyung!!” Jongin yelled from the living room. “Where’s the snack? And could you just leave them alone? For God sake!!”

“Ugh!” Was the last thing Baekhyun said before stomping out of the kitchen.

Once Bakehyun was out of sight, Minseok and Junmyeon let out a chuckle. They knew, that deep down, Baekhyun was probably the happiest person when he found out about their relationship, arguably even happier than them. For now, they’ll just let him to show his happiness, in Baekhyun’s way.