The dark coloured eyes of the girl sparkled strangely upon hearing the ancient name escape from Tao’s lips. One second she almost gave in to the temptation of replying, but then something held her back. It was the confused expression written on the young man’s that made her stop and just exhale, soundless.

“I’m sorry,” he let go of her wrist, pressing his palms against his face. “I don’t know what happened…”

“I know,” Jaelle whispered while looking up at the starry sky.  “My stories can do that to a person. They’re more than you hear or think you understand. It’s the depth of them that makes the soul react. Good thing I didn’t make you listen to the guitar version as well.”

“Yeah, good thing you didn’t,” Tao agreed while stepping next to her.

And they walked like that, in complete silence for a while, Jaelle looking at the sky and Tao at the tips of his shoes. The silence was comforting for both of them. It was familiar to their hearts, despite the mind boiling with million of thoughts and questions.

“I still ask myself if they were wrong,” Tao muttered, still looking at his shoes. “Back then I thought they were a bunch of liars, that there was some sort of secret plot behind all they did. But right now I’m not that sure anymore. I see the guys in the van and I feel happy that I met them. But only for a second. ‘Cause then it starts ramming inside my skull, giving me this terrible headache that I should be used to by now.”

“What is ramming inside your skull, Tao?” Jaelle used a never heard before tone. For she knew him. And he was aware she knew.

“A question that divides in a million of others. A painful itch that goes up my my arm and wraps all around my head, pulsating like this disgusting and wicked parasite. A thirst that cannot be quenched whatsoever,” Tao replied, finally looking up from his shoes and trying to visualize the dark road ahead of them. “I think – I don’t like to believe I was always like this. I like to think that my life used to be different than this, that there was no pain from dusk to dawn, that I used to actually smile before this… this… this thing happened to me.”

“But what is the reason of looking back when it can’t help you visualize the day ahead through the darkness of time?” Jaelle replied enigmatically.

“Look, I’d appreciate if this stays between us,” Tao buried his hands deep in the pockets. “I don’t like the idea of the others knowing my life story.”

“Why?”

“Because people tend to judge you without knowing you. And I’d like us to stay the way we are right now without strange looks.”

“But they do know you, Huang Zitao.”

But he just shook his head. “They know what I let them learn. They know I have a van, but they don’t know it’s the first thing I stole in my entire life. They know I like meat, but they don’t know I never tasted it before Lay gave it to me. They know I don’t drink alcohol, but they don’t know that once I drink I do strange stuff that could hurt them. They know I have a quick temper, but they don’t know I am some sort of Hulk, always taking pills to keep it in control,” his smile was bitter. “People know you as you let them see you. The real me – that’s something I yet have to discover as well. So promise me this will remain between us.”

“I thought you trusted me, Huang Zitao,” Jaelle’s fingers wrapped around his, squeezing them gently.

“Alright, alright,” Tao tried to calm himself with few breaths of fresh air. “I am Huang Zitao and at the beginning of this year I escaped from a mental institution.”

☾ ♅ ☽

To Tao, the darkness ahead was just another reason to hold Jaelle’s hand.

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