Pouring rain and dark clouds made the streets looking depressing and cheerless. Most of the people  were rushing to their homes to escape the wet drops. The others were walking around with their umbrellas in bright colours. The Couples used this situation to have an excuse to get close to each other and looked happy. In between of them the woman was walking on her own.

She hadn’t an umbrella or a hat to cover herself from the rain. Her steps were fast as she took the next little street on her left, which was followed by a long stair case. Her long hair was stuck to her face and covered her eyes. With a deep sigh she wiped them to the side and continued her way up. Only a few steps later she slipped and fell on her knees. Silently tears slide down on her cheeks and mixed with the raindrops. The young woman just sat there crying alone and lost. “Jinjja! Why?”

2 month before

“Yeonwoo-ah! Believe me I’m doing well here!”, the woman said amused as she took a sip of her coffee. She was sitting in her favourite coffee shop she had found not far away from her apartment. It was already one and a half moth ago since she had left her old home and her boyfriend. With this new start she tried to give her best and she wanted to become happy. As it looked, her plan was going well.

She was working as a writer for a little local magazine and wrote article about the life as a foreign in Korea. Obviously she never wrote anything about her past relationship with an idol. “____, don’t lie to me! How can you be happy without me? Hu? Idiot, you need me!”, she could imaging that her best friend was pouting on the other side of the phone.

A bright smile covered her face as she replied: “You call me an idiot? You’re the one! And I’m really doing well here! I love my job, my apartment is great! You should see the view I have out of my bedroom window!”

“Tell me where you live now and I will come visit you!”, she was nearly shouting. She was still angry that the woman didn’t wanted to tell her, where she had escaped to. “Forget it! Anyway I have to work again-“, she got interrupted. “____! He was in front of my house to ask if I know where you are… he is looking for you! At least pick up the phone once!”, now her voice sounded as the one of a mother. Yeonwoo was worrying about her ex boyfriend too, “he was really sa-“

”Yeonwoo! Stop this! I don’t want to hear this. I’m sorry that you have to deal with my problems, but I can’t talk to him. So please don’t yell at me or be angry, please?”, first her answer was cold as ice but in the end it was clearly to hear that she was hurt. Her phone rang every day a thousand times.

Actually the young woman knew every day when he woke up, because she got a message from him. Every morning he was sending nearly the same text: ‘Another day without your voice, your smell or your eyes. Another day, which will be senseless to go through. How can you do this to me? Come back!’ After the first message he changed the ‘another day’ part into the days he counted.

This morning it was ’47 Days without your voice…’. He had left messages on her voice mail too, they were various from angry to hopeless. The woman thought it depends on his mental being at that day he left it. She had thought about changing her number to avoid him and get complete free from him. But she couldn’t! She loved to hear his voice even if it broke her heart.

“Ok I won’t say anything anymore… but can I ask you one last question?”, Yeonwoo requested. “What do you want to ask?”, wondering what now would come made her imagination start playing with ideas. “Do you think you really can stop loving him?”

“No, I don’t think I will ever stop loving him but I know I can’t live like it was before. Sometimes love is not enough… I’m not strong enough, this way it’s easier”, her voice cracked then she hung up her phone. Depressed she laid her head on the table. Then she took a deep breath and continued her work on the laptop on her table.

“____-ah! Come on let’s go!”, the voice of a man took the woman out of her thoughts. Another two months had passed by and she had found some friends. One of them was the good looking guy who just talked to her, he was called Jiwoo.

“I’m coming!”, she rushed to him and the other two people who were waiting. “Ah, I want soju and chicken!”, the woman who spoke in a Busan accent was called Jihyuna. Next to her was Yunseo her boyfriend. They worked all for the same magazine and became friends during work. “Take care or you get drunk like last time!”, the woman smirked wide at her.

They entered the restaurant and sat at their normal place. They often went to eat together after work and enjoyed the laughers they shared. “___, today I will win against you! I will drink more than you and you will be the drunken one!”, Jihyuna pouted. She couldn’t believe that she always lost against her friend when it came to drinking. Somehow the other one never got drunk, it must be because she was a foreign, maybe.

“Forget it!”, short and cold was the answer of the young woman. It ended as she said, the other woman got drunk and Jiwoo as well. She herself felt just a little bit tipsy. “Can you bring Jiwoo home? He lives close to you, right?”, Yunseo was trying to bring his girlfriend up to take her home. “Yes sure. It’s not the first time”, she replied and took the arm of her friend around her shoulder to stabilize him.

Together they walked down the street what was not as easy as it sounded. At the next corner they would catch a taxi and they would be home fast. With the weight of the man on her shoulder it was hard to walk. Slowly, step by step. Jiwoo was mumbling something next to her and an amused smile took place on her face.

“Shut up, you're talking stupid stuff”, she stopped shortly and poke his cheek. “___, be nice to me. I’m always nice to you too!”, he shouted in his drunken state.  The woman stepped aside to save her ears from him and watched him amused. Without her help he was staggering like a leave in the wind.

“Nice?”, she asked with a wide grin. “You know I love you!”, he yelled back and tried to grip her arm before he nearly fell to the ground. Fast she holds him and brought him back in position. “Don’t talk stupid stuff!”, she just answered and don’t took his words serious. Then she started to walk again but stopped shocked.

A few steps away from her stand 7 people she never thought of bumping in like this. Her eyes wandered from Infinite to the man next to her and back. Without saying anything she forced Jiwoo to hurry up and pass by them. She could see the shocked eyes of the man, the stunning of seeing her here.

As she had reached the taxi stop and pushed the man into the car, she heard his voice. “___-ah! Don’t enter the taxi! Don’t!”, Sungyeol packed her arm and pulled her away from the car. The woman couldn’t look into his eyes and had her head dropped to the side. That was not what she wanted. Why was he here?

“What are you doing here? Is this your new boyfriend? Is he better than I? Did you leave me because of him?” his voice was full of pain, confusion and anger. “Yeollie… let go of my arm, it hurts!”, she whined without answering any question. The temper of the man was scary and she couldn’t believe that this was the choding she loved so much.

Then someone helped her to get her arm free. “Sungyeol! Calm down!”, Hoya was the one who came between them first, next to him was Sunggyu who tried to force him away. “Ya! ____, at least answer me! I thought you love me!”, tears started to fall from his eyes and broke every single part of the woman’s heart. How could she do something that hurt him so much? She was a jerk, a devil.

“Sorry ___-ah, he is drunk”, even if Woohyun apologized for his friend, she could see that he was angry of her too.  “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!”, now the woman was crying to. It felt like her heart would spring out of her , “he is only a friend from work not more!” “Really? But why are you hanging around with him when he is drunk?”, Myungsoo gave her a death glare.

“We were eating with two other friends, I just wanted to bring him home!”,she desperate tried to explain. Then she looked at the face of the man she loved so much. He was still crying, she could see the pain in his eyes. After a fast decision she walked to the taxi gave the driver money and closed the door.  The car left without her.

With a deep breath she calms herself. She was hurt too, to see him again and shouting at her like this was painful. But the horrible thing about it was, that he thought she would be dating someone else.  Maybe it was better if he thought this. Anyway there was no way back, she had chosen to leave him a few months ago, she couldn’t go back, even if the only thing she wanted to do right now, was to hug him and tell him that she still loved him.

“Are you happy now? I’m letting a drunken man go home alone!”, her voice went cold and she turned around to leave too. “Wait!”, Sungyeol ran behind her again and tried to hold her back. “What do you want?”, she shouted emotionless and her eyes were blank.

“Look into my eyes and tell me, you don’t want to be together with me anymore!”, he yelled back as he felt a rain drop landing on his nose. Shortly his eyes went up to the grey sky. This was her chance she pushed him away and started to run. The next taxi she jumped in and screamed at the driver to leave fast.

“___!!!!”, Yeollie couldn’t believe it. Finally he found her per luck and then she left again. He hated himself for letting her go again, why couldn’t he hold her back? “Yeol? Let’s go…”, the guys took the broken man with them to go back to their hotel. Tomorrow they would have schedules and it started to rain now.

The woman had to go out of the taxi a few block away from her home because she had gave most of her money to the other taxi driver. Pouring rain and dark clouds made the streets looking depressing and cheerless. Most of the people  were rushing to their homes to escape the wet drops. The others were walking around with their umbrellas in bright colours. The couples used this situation to have an excuse to get close to each other and looked happy.

In between of them the woman was walking on her own. She hadn’t an umbrella or a hat to cover herself from the rain. Her steps were fast as she took the next little street on her left, which was followed by a long stair case. Her long hair was stuck to her face and covered her eyes. With a deep sigh she wiped them to the side and continued her way up.

Only a few steps later she slipped and fell on her knees. Silently tears slide down on her cheeks and mixed with the raindrops. The young woman just sat there crying alone and lost. “Jinjja! Why?” She had managed to survive here without Yeol, she had learned to live with the pain in the back of her chest but now she was drowning.

Slowly she got up as someone wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him. A scream wanted to leave her lips but they were covered with a hand. “Jagiya… it’s me, don’t scream!”, a well known voice whispered in her ear and rested his head on her shoulder. “Sungyeol? How? Let go of me!”, she tried to get free but actually she didn’t wanted to.

She felt weak and his body felt so warm close to her. He strengthened his embrace before he answered: “I followed you all the way. I will never let go of you! Please listen to me, at least give me 5 minutes!”

“It’s raining, you will catch a cold!”, she avoided to give an answer again. “Rain only makes me more beautiful! “, his voice sounded lightly amused. Softly he turned her around but was still holding her close. His eyes burned into hers and somehow he was able to have his choding smile on his lips. “As if you would need this!”, she mumbled lost.

She had an inner fight, what should she do now? If she would gave him this five minutes she would lose and couldn’t avoid him anymore. She would go back and go on with the live she had before and she would get crazy again, the weakness would kill her. But if she would run away now, she would hurt him again and she would blame herself forever. “At least come with me! I don’t want to be at fault because you get a cold!”

The two entered the little apartment of the woman. She gave him a towel and started to make coffee. “This is your home?”, the man looked around while drying his hair. As he reached the window with the amazing view he was stunning. “Whoa amazing!”, he turned around and found the woman starring at him but actually she was more looking through him.

“Why can’t you forget me?”, she asked slowly and with a quiet voice. Her body was slightly shaking as she  took the two cups of coffee and placed them on the table. “What?”, the choding was confused as he sat down on the other side of the table “Is it not obvious? Because your mine! Don’t think you are free! You will always be mine!”

How was he able to joke around in a situation like this? The woman couldn’t believe it. Finally she felt the warmth in her heart again, what made her afraid even more. “Yeollie-“, she stared but couldn’t finish. “YA! You said you will give me 5 minutes”, he pouted before taking a sip of the coffee. She gave up and did the same as the man in front of her.

“You wanted to leave me because you said you’re too weak to be my girlfriend? Stupid! You’re the strongest woman I know and together we are even stronger. You left me because you loved me too much? That really makes no sense or do you always run away from things you love? I know you! And  you said I deserve someone better than you? I don’t want someone else!”, while he was talking he was really serious and made clear that she understand that he really thought this way.

“If you love me so much, how can you hurt me like this?”, now his face was sad and he looked like a child who had lost his favourite toy. “Sungyeol, I’m really sorry. I-“ she fought against her tears. She didn’t want to cry in front of him. The woman felt so weak at the moment. “What? Tell me that you haven’t  missed me! Tell me that you didn’t want to be at my side!”, he was nearly shouting again. His temper was cooking up but he calmed himself as he saw her shocked face.

She took a deep breath again before she gave up: “I missed you as hell and I wanted to be at your side the whole time. I felt like I was not a completed person, I felt lost.” “Why didn’t you come back? Why? Huh? Are you an idiot?”, a tear escaped his eyes as he saw the woman full of pain in front of him.

“How could I? I made a decision! I thought there was no way back…”, her eyes started to tear too. “Idiot!”, he said with his killer smile who had re his face. Even thought he was looking like a choding right now again, there were his eyes full of love that made her start crying. He laughed about his adorable girlfriend. "Hey, don’t cry! You are my idiot so it’s ok that you are an idiot!”

She got up and started too hit his arm “Who is the idiot, you are an idiot!” Sungyeol laughed as he tried to catch her hands to stop her from hitting him as she lost her balance and fell onto him. The man blushed as he looked to the girl who was lying on him before he pulled his arms around her and laughed again.

“Let’s be the Idiot Choding couple we were before, please?”, he sounded happy and it felt as no time had passed. She was still crying and sobbing into his chest. “Are you dying?”, he asked amused. “Shut up! It’s your fault! You choose to fall for a stupid idiot!”, she mumbled with a cracking voice.

“Does this mean you will come back and be mine again?”, his eyes were sparkling because of happiness. Instead of an answer she softly put her lips on his and kissed him.  As she broke away from him she smiled cute before she replied: “I still have to find a purple duck with light blue bunnies on it!”