In the morning when I wake
And the sun is coming through,
Oh, you fill my lungs with sweetness,
And you fill my head with you.

Shall I write it in a letter?
Shall I try to get it down?
Oh, you fill my head with pieces
Of a song I can't get out.

Can I be close to you?
Ooh-oo-oo-ooh, ooh
Can I be close to you—

“Soojung!”

Sensing that one of her earphones was pulled away from her ear, Jung Soojung took all her strength in her to look up at the person who did it. With lazy eyes, she glares at the person with her famous cold glare, only this time, it kinda look lifeless. A small gasp escapes from the person’s mouth when she saw her red puffy eyes and her face that seems to be paler than her usual skin tone. Her body was even looking rather lumpy and skinnier, making her looks like a fragile corpse. Seeing how her body lies down on her bed, with her feet lying on the headboard of the bed while her head was on the foot of the bed, asumed that she had been lying like that for hours.

“oh my god” the person, who goes by the name Jinri, sighs. Sounding tired of how her friend had been spending the past month. She look down at the fiigure with a really tired yet sympathy look on her face, “what have you done to yourself?” she mutters but loud enough for Soojung to hear.

Soojung didn’t answer her, she doesn’t have the strength to do it. She’d already used it all just to look up at her. Her eyes then averted back to the ceiling, letting her mind wonders on anything that can make her stare into space. It sometimes gives her a little bit of peace.

“you can’t be like this forever you know”

She heard her best friend said as she could see the girl still looks down at her from the corner of her eyes. She closed her eyes. Trying to avoid, or rather, concetrate her hearing on the song that was played on her left earphone that’s still plugged to her ears. She knew where Jinri was going with her words. She’d been hearing those words for countless times, and that wasn’t include the ones that didn’t come out from Jinri’s mouth.

She heard a dim sound that mention a certain person’s name. Jinri was probably mentioning it just so that she could open her eyes and talk to her.  Her eyes squinted harder, saving herself from aother tear that’s about to comes out.

Feeling a rather heavy figure sitting on the side of the bed, her eyes relaxed again as she heard her best friend’s sigh.

“hey”

Jinri touch Soojung’s hand that was resting well on her stomach, she’s a little surprised of how cold it is and was abou to scold her once again but decided to just shook it off. Lord, is she this depresed?

For once in her life, Jinri had never seen Soojung lying lifeless and depressed like this. Sure, the girl is always on moody tracks. She rarely smiles or enjoy things like the way Jinri or Chanyeol do. But she’d never taught she would be this.. loss.

She knows what made her like this. Jinri knows to well about it since the girl can only pour her hearts out in front of her.

It goes by the name Oh Sehun. He was the only reason for her to become this lifeless corpse.

Sehun is actually the kind of guy that never crosses Soojung’s mind. He wasn’t friendly or even nice, like the first time they met him. Sure he’s calm and attractive, very most likely, but he was never the guy that Soojung could fall for. In fact, the two were like cats and dogs the first time they met. It took them a while to get along with each other, thanks to the help of Jinri and Chanyeol of course. When they got closer, she started to see the soft and gentleness on him, especially the secure feelings she had whenever he’s around her like he was going to protect her from any danger that comes to her way. That time, her feelings for Sehun became clear and he, with all the courage he had in him, asked her out.

He is, or was, actually the only guy that Soojung loves. That she cares and admires with all her heart. He was the source of how she can smile as bright as any girl could have, even Jinri herself admits that whenever he’s around her, her bright and cheerful personality could’ve won over Jinri’s. The reason why Chanyeol or Baekhyun sometimes jaw-dropped at her drastic change.

Sehun owns Soojung’s heart. And apparently, Soojung owns his too.

For eternity like he usually said.

But that all changes when one incident occurs which Soojung couldn’t manage to figure it out from the very beggining. He was diagnosed with Leukemia. One of the deadliest disease in human history. All this time, Sehun had been hiding it all from everyone apart his family. He didn’t want anyone to be concerned or worried for him, especially Soojung. If she’d known about it, things might’ve change between them and Sehun never wanted it to happen. He just wanted to have his life the way it is with her by his side.

The stupidest thing was, Soojung didn’t even see this through. She never questioned or noticed how many changes he had. The beanie or cap that never leaves his head when they’re going out to cover up his fall out hair. The long sleeve shirt or hoodie or jacket that he always puts on to cover the purple bruises hat he had on his arms. His skin that was getting paler each and everyday. His whines about how tired he was in every 5 minutes. And the worse part is, she believes that whole one month, he was on vacation with his family to maldives when he’s actually hospitalized in a cancer hospital.

S-Sehun... he’s g-gone that was the scenario that never leaves her head up until now. At that time, she felt so stupid. Stupid enough to even hurt herself by punching every part of her body or scratch it with anything that’s sharp. How can I not see this? How can I be so utterly stupid? Ever since then, that was the only thing she could voiced out when she did those stupid things.

Yes, it was really hard to accept the fact that he was gone, that he will never come back even if she cries with all her heart. So she decided to cool herself down. She had stopped all those unlikely behavior as she replaces it by staying quite and lying lifeless on her bed while listening to the same song that she always listened to with him. Though, her sobbing at night couldn’t be stopped, explains why her eyes are red and puffy.

It’s always been like that. On the day, she just lies on her bed with her earphones on. Once the night comes, she could only curled herself on the corner on her bed, pulling the blankets over her head as she cries.

Jinri had grown tired of it. She understood her feelings and never did she ever try to force her best friend to just forget about him and forget everything from A-Z. But even so, she reminds her in every bit second when her condition is worsen. Her best friend was in her fragile state. Like a thin vase that brokes easily. And all Jinri could do now is just try to pick up all the pieces that’s broken and put it together into one complete structure.

 “Soojung”

 JInri calls her with the gentle voice she could ever manage to sound. Fortunately, the girl turns to her with her eyes still lazily open. Jinri gave her a small smile which Soojung was trying to give back but she couldn’t.

“come on a picnic with us” she started to say as her eyes soften at her, “Luhan-oppa plans it all and he said to bring you along too”

Luhan-oppa? she taught for second before remembered that name. Her heart flutters remembering that Luhan is Sehun’s brother. His one and only brother that he loves so much. Again, for a million time, every little things just reminds her of Sehun.

She gathers all her strength to pull herself up to sit on the bed, even with trembling arms, she manage to change her position. Seeing this, Jinri was a bit worry about her moving, as if Soojung couldn’t handle it, but then sigh in relief when she actually got up and pushed herself to sat beside her.

Soojung looks up to Jinri as she slowly shook her head. Declining the offer she just asked her. The latter was taken aback at first, but then Soojung opens to say or rather, whispering.

“I can’t, Jinri”

Jinri barely catch what she just said, her voice was hoarsed and it feels like even her energy to talk was no longer there. She sighs before holding onto her cold hands, warming it up so that she felt a little warmth.

“you can, Soojung” twitched into a smile, a motherly love smile that she always put when she’s comforting her, “don’t say that you can’t. I want to see you like the old days again, the moody yet loveable Soojung that I known. I can’t bear to always seen you like this”

“so are we”

The two girls turned to the door to find two familiar faces standing there, one leans on the side of the door while the other one was standing behind him. Both of them had soft smiles plastered on their faces.

Soojung’s eyes widen to see them there, “C-Chanyeol? B-Baekhyun?” she breathed.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun stood there, looking at her. The last time they ever seen Soojung was the day where she punches herself, making the both of them stepped in to help Jinri out to stop her. they lowers their eyes when they remembers it but also relief to see the bruise on her legs wasn’t noticable anymore.

“we miss you, Soojung” Chanyeol said, his smile is now turning into a huge grin, less the creepy happy virus way that is.

“everyone’s waiting for you there” this time it was Baekhyun, “and they miss you too” he said as a matter of fact.

Soojung looked away from them as her eyes falls to the ground before she averted them to Jinri, who was now giving her that assuring smile that says it’s true and everything will be alright. The room fell into silence for a while before Soojung finally broke it.

“I’ll go”

She voiced out, making the three friends smiles in relief and proud that she finally took little steps.

hai hai! so how's the first chap? :O 

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