Love. What comes to your mind when someone says that word, ‘Love’ to you? Are you reminded of a certain someone? Do you have beautiful memories of it? Or not? How do you feel? Do you feel as though there’s a spark deep down inside of your heart, making your heart flutter in joy? Or do you feel as though a knife stabbed through your heart, piercing it countless of times and it feels as though the knife will never be removed, leaving a deep scar on your heart? What do you feel?

Is it possible for me to feel both? Because I do.  My relationship with Seung Hyun was never a fairy tale because it is uncompleted, without a happy ending.

“If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together, keep me in your heart. I’ll stay there forever.” – Winnie the Pooh

I remember the first time I met him, Seung Hyun. He was perfect, divine. I’ve never met such a man before in my entire life time. Till now. He had perfect black hair with a stylish hairstyle. He was rich, no doubt. I met him at a conference where I had to accompany my boss for it. He was there, dressed in a pretty white suit with a stalk of rose stuck in the pocket of his suit. He was also wearing a pair of clean polished shoes. He looked perfect. He was talking to another guy who was smartly-dressed. As my boss slipped away to talk to his guests, I stole a glance at Seung Hyun’s perfect jaw line. I was awed at how he managed to mesmerize me in just a snap.

I haven’t even heard his voice yet.

I was holding onto a wine glass filled with strong liquor. Unknowingly, looking at him, ‘Crash!’ my wine glass fell to the velvet carpeted floor. The red liquid spilled over the floor. Everyone around me threw a nasty look at me in shock. Seung Hyun was too engrossed in his conversation; he did not notice the red liquid was flowing towards him, his polished shoes. While for me, I stood rooted to the ground, not knowing what to speak or do at the moment. It was only then the guest whom he was talking to, pointed out kindly for him of the situation; he gave out a sudden yelp in both disgust and fear. He ducked his way away from the liquid before he looked up at me.

I gulped.

“Are you…okay?” He raised a brow at me.

I could finally hear his deep silky voice. It sent vibrating shivers down my spine, startling me. Just his voice…it aroused me. His gaze continued fixing on me, showing a glint of concern.

“I…I’m fine. Thank you and sorry.” I quickly recollected my thoughts while pulling the hem of my skirt, fleeing away.

For somehow reason, I couldn’t stand being near him. He made me feel fear. Suspicion. Yet, there was an aura in him that made me feel at ease. Staring into his eyes, he made me feel like as though he could melt my worries away. I was threatened by his presence because he was…driving me crazy. My sanity…I feel so odd.

I shook the thoughts away as I went back to finding my boss.

After the conference, I never expected to meet him again.

I left my job of being a secretary to open a bookstore. I always dreamt of owning my own bookstore. I loved books and reading ever since I was young. Books were my friends when I was alone. I also preferred to stay at home to read rather than to hang out with my friends.

My first customer was no other than…Seung Hyun.

I nearly lost my composure when I first saw him stepping into my bookstore.

“H…Hello! Welcome!” My voice wavered unknowingly. I tried to focus. He was my customer. Customer. Customer. Customer.

“Uh…actually I came to ask if you guys had this book.” He walked closer to me, flashing me a picture of a very old book. It was old but I could recognize it. It was a classic.

Winnie the Pooh.

He wanted the first publication of it which was so rare to find. How could my tiny little bookshop have such rare books? Disappointed, I shook my head.

He clearly looked glum to be unable to find that book. “Well…we have other copies of Winnie the Pooh though. Do you want to try them out?” I suggested.

“No…my niece clearly asked me to get for her the first publication of it. She only wants that copy. Thank you though, so much.” He grinned at me, his eyes turning into half moon crescents.

Perhaps…I could help him? After all, I could check with some of my suppliers…

Before he could step out of my store, I finally muttered to him,

“I could try to help you find it…”

He immediately spun around.

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Mhm…yeah. I have a few friends who are book collectors and I could ask my suppliers. It wouldn’t be much of a hassle anyway.”

“What? Holy, thank you so much! How do I address you?” He spoke again in his alluring voice.

“Dara. Just call me that.” I gave him a wry smile.

“Wait…I think I’ve saw you before. Have I?”

“You must have been seeing things. No.”

That was where all the magic happened. We became friends, best friends and of course you know what happens next. Lovers.

We became totally smitten with each other. We loved each other.

We swore to get married. To have our own children. Yet the magic of our fairy tale story wasn’t strong enough to sustain our relationship…for long.

We often had heated arguments, fights and whatever bad you could ever think of. We started to drift apart yet we still kept bumping into each other. Fate you may say.

I gave my first time to him. I gave my everything to him. He gave me his everything as well. Yet we weren’t for each other. Was this meant to be? I don’t know neither do I want to know.

I just knew I loved him. Even if it was just this once.

We were drunk that day. It was a moment of folly.

“Ugh…Seung Hyun…stop…NO!” He was ing into me. We were both , under the sheets, making love.

It was my first time. In the moment of folly, I knew I could trust him. I knew he could give me my happy ending.

In the end, we both came together.

Passion. Lust. Sensation.

Most importantly, Love. I loved him. He loved me. What was there that could stop us?

I was wrong. Everything.

“Baby, can you tell me a story?” He used to ask me all the time.

“Sure, what story do you want to hear?” I used to ask him.

“Anything. I can’t fall asleep.”

“Once upon a time, there used to be a princess living in her own world. She met someone special that could melt her completely in a snap with his voice, his looks and his gaze. She loved him so much. She was so into him she believed him that he would give her the happy ending she wanted. She gave up everything for him. She trusted him. In the end, she ended up alone because she trusted too much. She was wrong. Everything was just her wishful thinking.”

“Yah, do you even call this a story? This is more like a tragedy.” He jolted up from bed, his eyes fluttering open.

“That’s the only story I’ve got to offer. Think of your own story then! Babo. Sheesh.” I rolled my eyes.

“I don’t have one but I can amend the ending right?” He questioned.

“Go ahead.”

“They lived happily ever after together. They had a misunderstanding. The boy also gave up his everything just to be with the girl. The girl was too blind to realize. She believed too much in fairy tales when reality, her life itself was already a fairy tale. She was too impatient because she didn’t realize in reality, happy endings will only happen when one waits for it with all her might, her heart. Fairy tales are true.”

I closed my eyes, squeezing them shut. His words pierced through my heart like an arrow. It scarred me for life.  

I finally met him again this time though we separated.

Our shoulders bumped against each other. I could smell his cologne. It was the same as before.

“Dara.”

“Seung Hyun.”

“Will you complete my fairy tale?” We managed to say, together at the same time.

“What if I said I will?” He gazed at me lovingly, his eyes burning into my gaze, trying to read me.

“What if I said I will, too?”

Pushing me onto the wall, he crashed his lips onto mine as though marking our seal of love again. As though he agreed to be my prince again. As though he agreed to step into my fairy tale again, to promise me my happy ending.

What actually matters is that…

I love him. Even if it was just this once.

“If you can dream it, you can do it. Always remember that this whole thing started with a dream and a mouse.” – Walt. E. Disney

Our happy ending was a dream…come true.