01

The day I knew that you were gone was that day when I woke up to find an unimaginable emptiness within myself. As if someone had dug a hole, taken each piece from me and left me with nothing, and like a living corpse, I had continued to walk: breathing but lifeless.

It was early March that day, when winter had ended, yet spring had not set in. It was Sunday, where the day had risen but the city was still swinging in dreamless slumber. It was bright that morning, and I was already out, walking around the empty streets. The sky was bursting with brilliance. Silky clouds lined the horizon, swirling and wafting as the wind blew. It reminded me of the days I would sit with you and listen to life as it passed us. Immediately, a feeling washed over me: something like the intense loss followed by the inexplicable confusion. A raw feeling of emptiness gnawed me from inside out and I did not know what to make of it.

Then, I remembered.

I lost you. Somewhere between the lines of life and death, you slipped out of my grasp. And somewhere between that line, I found myself collecting each bit of memory with you until I became nothing but a beggar. And maybe, that was the reason why I was still waiting. Hopelessly waiting.

I let out a silent whisper—a desperate plea. Almost as if heavens were feeling my heavy heart, the clouds started moving in, swallowing the blue splendour with its heaviness. In one moment, the once blue sky had turned into a sombre dome of endless grey, oppressing the world with its sullen grip. The heavens opened and the skies cried. I stood, lifting my face towards the clouds and let the cold tickle my cheeks.

The truth was that I loved the rain. I loved how the coldness would sink into my skin, or how the raindrops would tingle on my ears. I loved how the water would soak till the end of my dress, or how all sounds would be drowned by the rhythmic patter of the raindrops.

At times like this, you would come out and fetch me with an umbrella and lure me in with a mug of hot chocolate. I would laugh to which you would reply with a smile. And by the time we got back to my house, both of us would have been so drenched that the security guard would shoo us back out again. We would walk back out, like dejected children who had just missed the ice cream truck.

You would look at me and say something cheesy like; Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain.

Then, you would take my hand and we would start dancing to the beat of the raindrops. Every step would feel like I was flying and every time I spin, happiness would glow in myself, spinning into warmth that even a mug of hot chocolate could not substitute.

“Excuse me, miss?”

I snapped out of my reverie when an unfamiliar voice reached my ears. I looked up to see an umbrella held over my head by a stranger. A beautiful stranger.

“Do you want me to send you to a shelter?”

He did not smile, but his features expressed kindness which made me smile. He was handsome, tall and lean, and had a certain glint in his eyes that I would have loved if they were yours. With a polite nod from me, we started walking towards the bus stop.

I was startled for a moment. This was exactly how we met—you and me—under your umbrella beneath the crying skies. When I had declined your offer to send me to the bus stop, you had followed me, holding that umbrella over me as if you were protecting me from the world. What’s your name? you had asked. I had answered that question with another, which I asked for your name. You had replied, It’s a secret.

And I remembered that it was not until two weeks later that I figured your name.

“What’s your name?”

A deep voice met my ears, disrupting my thoughts. I smiled self-consciously, embarrassed that I had forgotten that the man was there. Looking at him, I said, “Park Jiyeon. And you?”

He replied with an enigmatic smile and I had almost expected him to say, “It’s a secret.”

Instead, he said, “Myungsoo. Kim Myungsoo.”

I nodded politely at his name, but at the same time, flashes of memories started playing in my head and I could not help but space out again.

I remembered how it used to feel when you were with me: so safe and comfortable that nothing else felt like they mattered. I remembered our endless bickers about little things like which ice cream flavour was better, or what to put as the topping for the frozen yoghurt, or whose eyesight was better. I remembered the time you were trying to act all romantic and compose a song for me, but despite your nice voice (that was obviously self-proclaimed), your lyrics writing skill was zero and we ended up singing it together and posting it on YouTube under the tag ‘comedy’.

I remember how it felt to be laughing with you, I remember how it felt to just sit with you and drown myself in the comfortable silence that blanketed us. I remember how it felt to wake up and know that you were there under the same sky, breathing the same air.

But they say every beginning has an ending. And I guessed our ending was the day of the accident. The day when everything stopped making sense. The day when I lost everything.

I had reached the bus stop by the time my daze ended. Feeling so guilty that I had not even paid any attention to Kim Myungsoo, I said, in an attempt to spark a conversation, “It’s raining so heavily.”

Kim Myungsoo laughed. Looking at me, he asked, “Do you not like the rain?”

“Not really,” I said even though I was feeling just the opposite, “It makes everything dull. And sad.”

Kim Myungsoo looked to the ground and said, “Those who say that only sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.”

I stiffened. You would say something like that.

He bowed, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss Park.”

Without another word, he walked away. His back was obscured by the curtain of rain and fog. He was hunched under that black umbrella of his and from this angle; he looked so pitiful, like a lonely, kind soul. It was as if the sky itself was mourning for him.

I was about to turn away when he stopped in his tracks. He swivelled on his feet and ran back towards my direction. Towards me.

He looked as if he was crying.

Kim Myungsoo stopped in front of me, his breaths racing; his face pleading. When he got down on one knee, I took a step back, shocked at his sudden action.

“Jiyeon.” He said. That was the first time a stranger called me by my first name.

“Will you marry me?”

At that point of time, I still had not recovered from the accident that took away my memory. I remembered how it felt to hear your voice, but I could not remember how it deep sounded, so I had missed the way the stranger had used the exact same tone when he first talked to me. I remembered how I have always thought that you were handsome, but I could not remember how you looked like. So I had failed to see that the stranger’s sharp features were yours. I remembered how it felt to hear you laugh, but I could not remember how it sounded. So I did not recognize the stranger’s radiating laugh. I remembered that I found out your name two weeks after I met you, but I could not remember your name. So I did not know that your name was Kim Myungsoo.

I did not know that the stranger was you.

And now, you were kneeling in front of me, asking for my hand in marriage. A ring was propped up in front of me, and I looked ludicrously at this stranger whom I had not known was you. I could have just said yes in that life changing moment despite how incredulous it seemed. I could have just accepted him—accepted you—and we could have been happy. If I had, I would not be regretting it now.

But I thought, I had not remembered you yet. I should wait for you.

So I shook my head at you and said, “No.”

Not then. Not yet.

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A/N:

Hey guys! So how was the story?

I was inspired to write a story when my sister told me that she was walking in the rain without an umbrella and suddenly a guy came to her and offered her his umbrella. She rejected it and I told her that that was stupid hahahah. Anyway, after that my brother came up to me and asked, “What if a stranger suddenly comes up to you and propose?”

I was like, hmmm…. This makes a good plot….

Anyway guys, thanks for reading! I hope it’s not too draggy or too short for you guys. Do comment and tell me what you think!

Love you all!

-Faith